part8-第10节

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Potomac；　the　ship　being　bound　thither；　and　there　we　intended　

to　have　settled　first；　though　afterwards　we　altered　our　minds。



The　first　thing　I　did　of　moment　after　having　gotten　all　our　

goods　on　shore；　and　placed　them　in　a　storehouse；　or　warehouse；　

which；　with　a　lodging；　we　hired　at　the　small　place　or　village　

where　we　landedI　say；　the　first　thing　was　to　inquire　after　my　

mother；　and　after　my　brother　（that　fatal　person　whom　I　married　

as　a　husband；　as　I　have　related　at　large）。　　A　little　inquiry　

furnished　me　with　information　that　Mrs。；　that　is；　my　mother；　

was　dead；　that　my　brother　（or　husband）　was　alive；　which　I　

confess　I　was　not　very　glad　to　hear；　but　which　was　worse；　I　

found　he　was　removed　from　the　plantation　where　he　lived　

formerly；　and　where　I　lived　with　him；　and　lived　with　one　of　

his　sons　in　a　plantation　just　by　the　place　where　we　landed；　

and　where　we　had　hired　a　warehouse。　



I　was　a　little　surprised　at　first；　but　as　I　ventured　to　satisfy　

myself　that　he　could　not　know　me；　I　was　not　only　perfectly　

easy；　but　had　a　great　mind　to　see　him；　if　it　was　possible　to　so　

do　without　his　seeing　me。　　In　order　to　that　I　found　out　by　

inquiry　the　plantation　where　he　lived；　and　with　a　woman　of　

that　place　whom　I　got　to　help　me；　like　what　we　call　a　chairwoman；　

I　rambled　about　towards　the　place　as　if　I　had　only　a　mind　to　

see　the　country　and　look　about　me。　　At　last　I　came　so　near　that　

I　saw　the　dwellinghouse。　　I　asked　the　woman　whose　plantation　

that　was；　she　said　it　belonged　to　such　a　man；　and　looking　out　

a　little　to　our　right　hands；　'there；'　says　she；　is　the　gentleman　

that　owns　the　plantation；　and　his　father　with　him。'　　'What　are　

their　Christian　names？'　said　I。　　'I　know　not；'　says　she；　'what　

the　old　gentleman's　name　is；　but　the　son's　name　is　Humphrey；　

and　I　believe；'　says　she；　'the　father's　is　so　too。'　　You　may　

guess；　if　you　can；　what　a　confused　mixture　of　joy　and　fight　

possessed　my　thoughts　upon　this　occasion；　for　I　immediately　

knew　that　this　was　nobody　else　but　my　own　son；　by　that　father　

she　showed　me；　who　was　my　own　brother。　　I　had　no　mask；　

but　I　ruffled　my　hood　so　about　my　face；　that　I　depended　upon　

it　that　after　above　twenty　years'　absence；　and　withal　not　

expecting　anything　of　me　in　that　part　of　the　world；　he　would　

not　be　able　to　know　anything　of　me。　　But　I　need　not　have　used　

all　that　caution；　for　the　old　gentleman　was　grown　dim…sighted　

by　some　distemper　which　had　fallen　upon　his　eyes；　and　could　

but　just　see　well　enough　to　walk　about；　and　not　run　against　a　

tree　or　into　a　ditch。　　The　woman　that　was　with　me　had　told　me　

that　by　a　mere　accident；　knowing　nothing　of　what　importance　

it　was　to　me。　　As　they　drew　near　to　us；　I　said；　'Does　he　know　

you；　Mrs。　Owen？'　（so　they　called　the　woman）。　　'Yes；'　said　

she；　'if　he　hears　me　speak；　he　will　know　me；　but　he　can't　see　

well　enough　to　know　me　or　anybody　else'；　and　so　she　told　me　

the　story　of　his　sight；　as　I　have　related。　　This　made　me　secure；　

and　so　I　threw　open　my　hoods　again；　and　let　them　pass　by　me。　　

It　was　a　wretched　thing　for　a　mother　thus　to　see　her　own　son；　

a　handsome；　comely　young　gentleman　in　flourishing　

circumstances；　and　durst　not　make　herself　known　to　him；　and　

durst　not　take　any　notice　of　him。　　Let　any　mother　of　children　

that　reads　this　consider　it；　and　but　think　with　what　anguish　of　

mind　I　restrained　myself；　what　yearnings　of　soul　I　had　in　me　

to　embrace　him；　and　weep　over　him；　and　how　I　thought　all　my　

entrails　turned　within　me；　that　my　very　bowels　moved；　and　I　

knew　not　what　to　do；　as　I　now　know　not　how　to　express　those　

agonies！　　When　he　went　from　me　I　stood　gazing　and　trembling；　

and　looking　after　him　as　long　as　I　could　see　him；　then　sitting　

down　to　rest　me；　but　turned　from　her；　and　lying　on　my　face；　

wept；　and　kissed　the　ground　that　he　had　set　his　foot　on。



I　could　not　conceal　my　disorder　so　much　from　the　woman　but　

that　she　perceived　it；　and　thought　I　was　not　well；　which　I　was　

obliged　to　pretend　was　true；　upon　which　she　pressed　me　to　rise；　

the　ground　being　damp　and　dangerous；　which　I　did　accordingly；　

and　walked　away。



As　I　was　going　back　again；　and　still　talking　of　this　gentleman　

and　his　son；　a　new　occasion　of　melancholy　offered　itself　thus。　　

The　woman　began；　as　if　she　would　tell　me　a　story　to　divert　me：　　

'There　goes；'　says　she；　'a　very　odd　tale　among　the　neighbours　

where　this　gentleman　formerly　live。'　　'What　was　that？'　said　

I。　　'Why；'　says　she；　'that　old　gentleman　going　to　England；　

when　he　was　a　young　man；　fell　in　love　with　a　young　lady　there；　

one　of　the　finest　women　that　ever　was　seen；　and　married　her；　

and　brought　her　over　hither　to　his　mother　who　was　then　living。　　

He　liver　here　several　years　with　her；'　continued　she；　'and　had　

several　children　by　her；　of　which　the　young　gentleman　that　was　

with　him　now　was　one；　but　after　some　time；　the　old　gentlewoman；　

his　mother；　talking　to　her　of　something　relating　to　herself　when　

she　was　in　England；　and　of　her　circumstances　in　England；　

which　were　bad　enough；　the　daughter…in…law　began　to　be　very　

much　surprised　and　uneasy；　and；　in　short；　examining　further　

into　things；　it　appeared　past　all　contradiction　that　the　old　

gentlewoman　was　her　own　mother；　and　that　consequently　that　

son　was　his　wife's　own　brother；　which　struck　the　whole　family　

with　horror；　and　put　them　into　such　confusion　that　it　had　almost　

ruined　them　all。　　The　young　woman　would　not　live　with　him；　

the　son；　her　brother　and　husband；　for　a　time　went　distracted；　

and　at　last　the　young　woman　went　away　for　England；　and　has　

never　been　hears　of　since。'



It　is　easy　to　believe　that　I　was　strangely　affected　with　this　story；　

but　'tis　impossible　to　describe　the　nature　of　my　disturbance。　　I　

seemed　astonished　at　the　story；　and　asked　her　a　thousand　

questions　about　the　particulars；　which　I　found　she　was

thoroughly　acquainted　with。　　At　last　I　began　to　inquire　into　the　

circumstances　of　the　family；　how　the　old　gentlewoman；　I　mean　

my　mother；　died；　and　how　she　left　what　she　had；　for　my　mother　

had　promised　me　very　solemnly；　that　when　she　died　she　would　

do　something　for　me；　and　leave　it　so；　as　that；　if　I　was　living；　I　

should　one　way　or　other　come　at　it；　without　its　being　in　the　

power　of　her　son；　my　brother　and　husband；　to　prevent　it。　　She　

told　me　she　did　not　know　exactly　how　it　was　ordered；　but　she　

had　been　told　that　my　mother　had　left　a　sum　of　money；　and　

had　tied　her　plantation　for　the　payment　of　it；　to　be　made　good　

to　the　daughter；　if　ever　she　could　be　heard　of；　either　in　England　

or　elsewhere；　and　that　the　trust　was　left　with　this　son；　who　was　

the　person　that　we　saw　with　his　father。



This　was　news　too　good　for　me　to　make　light　of；　and；　you　

may　be　sure；　filled　my　heart　with　a　thousand　thoughts；　what　

courseI　should　take；　how；　and　when；　and　in　what　manner　I　

should　make　myself　known；　or　whether　I　should　ever　make　

myself　know　or　no。



Here　was　a　perplexity　that　I　had　not　indeed　skill　to　manage　

myself　in；　neither　knew　I　what　course　to　take。　　It　lay　heavy　

upon　my　mind　night　and　day。　　I　could　neither　sleep　nor　

converse；　sothat　my　husband　perceived　it；　and　wondered　what　

ailed　me；　strove　to　divert　me；　but　it　was　all　to　no　purpose。　　He　

pressed　me　to　tell　him　what　it　was　troubled　me；　but　I　put　it　off；　

till　at　last；　importuning　me　continually；　I　was　forced　to　form　

a　story；　which　yet　had　a　plain　truth　to　lay　it　upon　too。　　It　old　

him　I　was　troubled　because　I　found　we　must　shift　our　quarters　

and　alter　our　scheme　of　settling；　for　that　I　found　I　should　be　

known　if　I　stayed　in　that　part　of　the　country；　for　that　my　mother　

being　dead；　several　of　my　relations　were　come　into　that　part　

where　we　then　was；　and　that　I　must　either　discover　myself　to　

them；　which　in　our　present　circumstances　was　not　proper　on　

many　accounts；　or　remove；　and　which　to　do　I　knew　not；　and　

that　this　it　was　that　made　me　so　melancholy　and　so　thoughtful。



He　joined　with　me　in　this；　that　it　was　by　no　means　proper　for　

me　to　make　myself　known　to　anybody　in　the　circumstances　

inwhich　we　then　were；　and　therefore　he　told　me　he　would　be　

willing　to　remove　to　any　other　part　of　the　country；　or　even　to　

any　other　country　if　I　thought　fit。　　But　now　I　had　another　

difficulty；which　was；　that　if　I　removed　to　any　other　colony；　I　

put　myself　out　of　the　way　of　ever　making　a　due　search　after　

those　effects　which　my　mother　had　left。　　Again　I　could　never　

so　much　as　think　of　breaking　the　secret　of　my　former　marriage　

to　my　new　husband；　it　was　not　a　story；　as　I　thought；　that　would　

bear　telling；　nor　could　I　tell　what　might　be　the　consequences　

of　it；　and　it　was　impossible　to　search　into　the　bottom　of　the　

thing　without　making　it　public　all　over　the　country；　as　well　

who　I　was；　as　what　I　now　was　also。



In　this　perplexity　I　continued　a　great　while；　and　this　made　my　

spouse　very　uneasy；　for　he　found　me　perplexed；　and　yet　thought

I　was　not　open　wit