the story of my heart-第14节

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confined　to　two　or　three。　We　have　conceived　the　idea　of　creation；　which　is
the　highest　and　grandest　of　all；　if　not　historically　true；　we　have　conceived
the　idea　of　design；　that　is　of　an　intelligence　making　order　and　revolution
of　chaos；　and　we　have　conceived　the　idea　of　evolution　by　physical　laws　of
matter；　which；　though　now　so　much　insisted　on；　is　as　ancient　as　the　Greek
philosophers。　　But　there　may　be　another　alternative；　I　think　there　are　other
alternatives。

Whenever　the　mind　obtains　a　wider　view　we　may　find　that　origin。
for　instance；　is　not　always　due　to　what　is　understood　by　cause。
At　this　moment　the　mind　is　unable　to　conceive　of　anything　happening；　or　of
anything　coming　into　existence；　without　a　cause。　From　cause　to　effect　is　the
sequence　of　our　ideas。　　But　I　think　that　if　at　some　time　we　should　obtain　an
altogether　different　and　broader　sequence　of　ideas；　we　may　discover　that
there　are　various　other　alternatives。　As　the　world；　and　the　universe　at
large；　was　not　constructed　according　to　plan；　so　it　is　clear　that　the
sequence　or　circle　of　ideas　which　includes
plan；　and　cause；　and　effect；　are　not　in　the　circle　of　ideas
which　would　correctly　explain　it。　Put　aside　the　plan…circle　of
ideas；　and　it　will　at　once　be　evident　that　there　is　no　inherent
necessity　or　〃must。〃　There　is　no　inherent　necessity　for　a　first
cause；　or　that　the　world　and　the　universe　was　created；　or　that
it　was　shaped　of　existing　matter；　or　that　it　evolved　itself　and
its　inhabitants；　or　that　the　cosmos　has　existed　in　varying　forms
for　ever。　There　may　be　other　alternatives　altogether。　The　only
idea　I　can　give　is　the　idea　that　there　is　another　idea。

In　this　〃must〃〃it　must　follow〃lies　my　objection　to　the　logic　of　science。
The　arguments　proceed　from　premises　to　conclusions；　and　end　with　the
assumption　〃it　therefore　follows。〃　But　I　say　that；　however　carefully　the
argument　be　built　up；　even　though　apparently　flawless；　there　is　no　such
thing　at　present　as　〃it　must　follow。〃　Human　ideas　at　present　naturally　form
a　plan；　and　a　balanced　design；　they　might　be　indicated　by　a　geometrical
figure；　an　upright　straight　line　in　the　centre；　and　branching　from　that
straight　line　curves　on　either　hand　exactly　equal　to　each　other。　In　drawing
that　is　how　we　are　taught；　to　balance　the　outline　or　curves　on　one　side　with
the　curves　on　the　other。　In　nature　and　in　fact　there　is　no　such　thing。　The
stem　of　a　tree　represents　the　upright　line；　but　the　branches　do　not　balance；
those　on　one　side　are　larger　or　longer　than　those　on　the　other。　Nothing　is
straight；　but　all　things　curved；　crooked；　and　unequal。

The　human　body　is　the　most　remarkable　instance　of　inequality；
lack　of　balance；　and　want　of　plan。　The　exterior　is　beautiful　in
its　lines；　but　the　two　hands；　the　two　feet；　the　two　sides　of　the
face；　the　two　sides　of　the　profile；　are　not　precisely　equal。
The　very　nails　of　the　fingers　are　set　ajar；　as　it　were；　to
the　lines　of　the　hand；　and　not　quite　straight。　Examination　of　the　interior
organs　shows　a　total　absence　of　balance。　The　heart　is　not　in　the　centre；　nor
do　the　organs　correspond　in　any　way。　The　viscera　are　wholly　opposed　to　plan。
Coming；　lastly；　to　the　bones；　these　have　no　humanity；　as　it　were；　of　shape；
they
are　neither　round　nor　square；　the　first　sight　of　them　causes　a　sense　of
horror；　so　extra…human　are　they　in　shape；　there　is　no　balance　of　design　in
them。　These　are　very　brief　examples；　but　the　whole　universe；　so　far　as　it
can　be　investigated；　is　equally　unequal。　No　straight　line　runs　through　it；
with　balanced
curves　each　side。

Let　this　thought　now　be　carried　into　the　realms　of　thought。　　The　mind；　or
circle；　or　sequence　of　ideas；　acts；　or　thinks；　or　exists　in　a　balance；　or
what　seems　a　balance　to　it。　　A　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　straight　line　of
thought　is　set　in　the　centre；　with　equal　branches　each　side；　and　with　a
generally　rounded　outline。
But　this　corresponds　to　nothing　in　tangible　fact。　　Hence　I
think；　by　analogy；　we　may　suppose　that　neither　does　it　correspond　to　the
circle　of　ideas　which　caused　us　and　all　things　to　be；　or；　at　all　events；　to
the　circle　of　ideas　which
accurately　understand　us　and　all　things。　There　are　other　ideas　altogether。
》From　standing　face　to　face　so　long　with　the　real　earth；　the　real　sun；　and
the　real　sea；　I　am　firmly　convinced　that　there　is　an　immense　range　of
thought　quite　unknown　to　us　yet。

The　problem　of　my　own　existence　also　convinces　me　that　there　is　much　more。
The　questions　are：　Did　my　soul　exist　before　my　body　was　formed？　Or　did　it
come　into　life　with　my　body；　as　a　product；
like　a　flame；　of　combustion？　What　will　become　of　it　after　death？　Will　it
simply　go　out　like　a　flame　and　become　non…existent；　or　will　it　live　for　ever
in　one　or　other　mode？　To　these　questions
I　am　unable　to　find　any　answer　whatsoever。　In　our　present　range　of　ideas
there　is　no　reply　to　them。　I　may　have　previously　existed；　I　may　not　have
previously　existed。　I　may　be　a　product
of　combustion；　I　may　exist　on　after　physical　life　is　suspended；
or　I　may　not。　No　demonstration　is　possible。　But　what　I　want　to
say　is　that　the　alternatives　of　extinction　or　immortality　may
not　be　the　only　alternatives。　There　may　be　something　else；　more
wonderful　than　immortality；　and　far　beyond　and　above　that　idea。
There　may　be　something　immeasurably　superior　to　it。　As　our　ideas　have　run　in
circles　for　centuries；　it　is　difficult　to　find　words　to　express　the　idea
that　there　are　other　ideas。　For　myself；　though　I　cannot　fully　express
myself；　I　feel　fully　convinced　that　there　is　a　vast　immensity　of　thought；　of
existence；　and　of　other　things　beyond　even　immortal　existence。

CHAPTER　IX

IN　human　affairs　everything　happens　by　chancethat　is；　in　defiance　of　human
ideas；　and　without　any　direction　of　an　intelligence。　A　man　bathes　in　a　pool；
a　crocodile　seizes　and　lacerates　his　flesh。　If　any　one　maintains　that　an
intelligence　directed　that　cruelty；　I　can　only　reply　that　his　mind　is　under
an　illusion。　A　man　is　caught　by　a　revolving　shaft　and　torn　to　pieces；　limb
from　limb。　There　is　no　directing　intelligence　in　human　affairs；　no
protection；　and　no　assistance。　Those　who　act　uprightly　are　not　rewarded；　but
they　and　their　children　often　wander　in　the　utmost　indigence。　Those　who　do
evil　are　not　always　punished；　but　frequently　flourish　and　have　happy
children。　Rewards　and　punishments　are　purely　human　institutions；　and　if
government　be　relaxed　they　entirely　disappear。　No　intelligence　whatever
interferes　in　human　affairs。　There　is　a　most　senseless　belief　now　prevalent
that　effort；　and　work；　and　cleverness；
perseverance　and　industry；　are　invariably　successful。　Were　this
the　case；　every　man　would　enjoy　a　competence；　at　least；　and　be
free　from　the　cares　of　money。　This　is　an　illusion　almost　equal
to　the　superstition　of　a　directing　intelligence；　which　every
fact　and　every　consideration　disproves。

How　can　I　adequately　express　my　contempt　for　the　assertion　that
all　things　occur　for　the　best；　for　a　wise　and　beneficent　end；
and　are　ordered　by　a　humane　intelligence！　It　is　the　most　utter
falsehood　and　a　crime　against　the　human　race。　Even　in　my　brief
time　I　have　been　contemporary　with　events　of　the　most　horrible
character；　as　when　the　mothers　in　the　Balkans　cast　their　own
children　from　the　train　to　parish　in　the　snow；　as　when　the　Princess　Alice
foundered；　and　six　hundred　human　beings　were　smothered　in　foul　water；　as
when　the　hecatomb　of　two　thousand　maidens　were　burned　in　the　church　at
Santiago；　as　when　the　miserable　creatures　tore　at　the　walls　of　the　Vienna
theatre。　Consider　only　the　fates　which　overtake　the　little　children。　Human
suffering　is　so　great；　so　endless；　so　awful　that　I　can　hardly　write　of　it。　I
could　not　go　into　hospitals　and　face　it；　as　some　do；　lest　my　mind　should　be
temporarily　overcome。　The　whole　and　the　worst　the　worst　pessimist　can　say　is
far　beneath　the　least　particle　of　the　truth；　so　immense　is　the　misery　of
man。　It　is　the　duty　of　all　rational　beings　to　acknowledge　the　truth。　There
is　not　the　least　trace　of　directing　intelligence　in　human　affairs。　　This　is
a　foundation　of　hope；　because；　if　the　present　condition　of　things　were
ordered　by　a　superior　power；　there　would　be　no　possibility　of　improving　it
for　the　better　in　the　spite　of　that　power。　Acknowledging　that　no　such
direction　exists；　all　things　become　at　once　plastic　to　our　will。

The　credit　given　by　the　unthinking　to　the　statement　that　all
affairs　are　directed　has　been　the　bane　of　the　world　since　the
days　of　the　Egyptian　papyri　and　the　origin　of　superstition。　So
long　as　men　firmly　believe　that　everything　is　fixed　for　them；　so
long　is　progress　impossible。　If　you　argue　yourself　into　the　belief　that　you
cannot　walk　to　a　place；　you　cannot　walk　there。
But　if　you　start　you　can　walk　there　easily。　Any　one　who　will
consider　the　affairs　of　the　world　at　large；　and　of　the　individual；　will　see
that　they　do　not　proceed　in　the　manner　they
would　do　for　our　own　happiness　if　a　man　of　humane　breadth　of
view　were　placed　at　their　head　with　unlimited　power；　such　as　is
credited　to　the　intelligence　which　does　not　exist。　A　man　of
intellect　and　humanity　could　cause　everything　to　happen　in　an
infinitely　superior　manner。　Could　one　like　the　divine　Juliushumane；