the story of my heart-第13节

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want　to　be　always　in　company　with　the　sun；　and　sea；　and　earth。　These；　and
the　stars　by　night；　are　my　natural　companions。My　heart　looks　back　and
sympathises　with　all　the　joy　and　life　of　ancient　time。　With　the　circling
dance　burned　in　still　attitude　on　the　vase；　with　the　chase　and　the　hunter
eagerly　pursuing；　whose　javelin　trembles　to　be　thrown；　with　the　extreme　fury
of　feeling；　the　whirl　of　joy　in　the　warriors　from　Marathon　to　the　last
battle　of　Rome；　not　with　the　slaughter；　but　with　the　passionthe　life　in
the　passion；　with　the　garlands　and　the　flowers；　with　all　the　breathing　busts
that　have　panted　beneath　the　sun。　O　beautiful　human　life！　Tears　come　in　my
eyes　as　I　think　of　it。　So　beautiful；　so　inexpressibly　beautiful！

So　deep　is　the　passion　of　life　that；　if　it　were　possible　to　live
again；　it　must　be　exquisite　to　die　pushing　the　eager　breast
against　the　sword。　In　the　flush　of　strength　to　face　the　sharp
pain　joyously；　and　laugh　in　the　last　glance　of　the　sunif　only
to　live　again；　now　on　earth；　were　possible。　So　subtle　is　the
chord　of　life　that　sometimes　to　watch　troops　marching　in　rhythmic　order；
undulating　along　the　column　as　the　feet　are　lifted；　brings　tears　in　my　eyes。
Yet　could　I　have　in　my　own　heart　all　the　passion；　the　love　and　joy；　burned
in　the　breasts　that　have　panted；　breathing　deeply；　since　the　hour　of　Ilion；
yet　still　I　should　desire　more。　How　willingly　I　would　strew　the　paths　of　all
with　flowers；　how　beautiful　a　delight　to　make　the　world　joyous！　The　song
should　never　be　silent；　the　dance　never　still；　the　laugh　should　sound　like
water　which　runs　for　ever。

I　would　submit　to　a　severe　discipline；　and　to　go　without　many
things　cheerfully；　for　the　good　and　happiness　of　the　human　race
in　the　future。　Each　one　of　us　should　do　something；　however　small；　towards
that　great　end。　At　the　present　time　the　labour　of　our　predecessors　in　this
country；　in　all　other　countries　of　the　earth；　is　entirely　wasted。　We
livethat　is；　we　snatch　an　existenceand　ourworks　become　nothing。　The
piling　up　of　fortunes；　the　building　of　cities；　the　establishment　of　immense
commerce；　ends　in　a　cipher。　These　objects　are　so　outside　my　idea　that　I
cannot　understand　them；　and　look　upon　the　struggle　in　amazement。　Not　even
the　pressure　of　poverty　can　force　upon　me　an　understanding　of；　and　sympathy
with；　these　things。　It　is　the　human　being　as　the　human　being　of　whom　I
think。　That　the　human　being　as　the　human　being；　nudeapart　altogether　from
money；　clothing；　houses；　propertiesshould　enjoy　greater　health；　strength；
safety；　beauty；　and　happiness；　I　would　gladly　agree　to　a　discipline　like
that　of　Sparta。　The　Spartan　method　did　produce　the　finest　race　of　men；　and
Sparta　was　famous　in　antiquity　for　the　most　beautiful　women。　So　far；
therefore；　it　fits　exactly　to　my　ideas。

No　science　of　modern　times　has　yet　discovered　a　plan　to　meet　the
requirements　of　the　millions　who　live　now；　no　plan　by　which　they　might
attain　similar　physical　proportion。　Some　increase　of　longevity；　some　slight
improvement　in　the　general　health　is　promised；　and　these　are　great　things；
but　far；　far　beneath　the　ideal。　Probably　the　whole　mode　of　thought　of　the
nations　must　be　altered　before　physical　progress　is　possible。　Not　while
money；　furniture；　affected　show　and　the　pageantry　of　wealth　are　the
ambitions　of　the　multitude　can　the　multitude　become　ideal　in　form。　When　the
ambition　of　the　multitude　is　fixed　on　the　ideal　of　form　and　beauty；　then
that　ideal　will　become　immediately　possible；　and　a　marked　advance　towards　it
could　be　made　in　three　generations。　　Glad；　indeed；　should　I　be　to　discover
something　that　would　help　towards　this　end。

How　pleasant　it　would　be　each　day　to　think；　To…day　I　have　done
something　that　will　tend　to　render　future　generations　more
happy。　The　very　thought　would　make　this　hour　sweeter。　　It　is　absolutely
necessary　that　something　of　this　kind　should　be　discovered。　First；　we　must
lay　down　the　axiom　that　as　yet　nothing　has　been　found；　we　have　nothing　to
start　with；　all　has　to　be　begun　afresh。　All　courses　or　methods　of　human　life
have　hitherto　been　failures。　Some　course　of　life　is　needed　based　on　things
that　are；　irrespective　of　tradition。　The　physical　ideal　must　be　kept
steadily　in　view。

CHAPTER　VIII

AN　enumeration　of　the　useless　would　almost　be　an　enumeration　of
everything　hitherto　pursued。　For　instance；　to　go　back　as　far　as
possible；　the　study　and　labour　expended　on　Egyptian　inscriptions
and　papyri；　which　contain　nothing　but　doubtful；　because　laudatory　history；
invocations　to　idols；　and　similar　matters：　all　these　labours　are　in　vain。
Take　a　broom　and　sweep　the　papyri　away　into　the　dust。　The　Assyrian
terra…cotta　tablets；　some　recording　fables；　and　some　even　saddercontracts
between　men　whose　bodies　were　dust　twenty　centuries　sincetake　a　hammer
and　demolish　them。　Set　a　battery　to　beat　down　the　pyramids；　and
a　mind…battery　to　destroy　the　deadening　influence　of　tradition。
The　Greek　statue　lives　to　this　day；　and　has　the　highest　use　of
all；　the　use　of　true　beauty。　The　Greek　and　Roman　philosophers
have　the　value　of　furnishing　the　mind　with　material　to　think
from。　Egyptian　and　Assyrian；　mediaeval　and　eighteenth…century
culture；　miscalled；　are　all　alike　mere　dust；　and　absolutely
useless。

There　is　a　mass　of　knowledge　so　called　at　the　present　day
equally　useless；　and　nothing　but　an　encumbrance。　We　are　forced
by　circumstances　to　become　familiar　with　it；　but　the　time
expended　on　it　is　lost。　No　physical　idealfar　less　any　soul…
idealwill　ever　be　reached　by　it。　In　a　recent　generation
erudition　in　the　text　of　the　classics　was　considered　the　most
honourable　of　pursuits；　certainly　nothing　could　be　less　valuable。　In　our　own
generation；　another　species　of　erudition
is　laudederudition　in　the　laws　of　matterwhich；　in　itself；　is
but　one　degree　better。　The　study　of　matter　for　matter's　sake　is
despicable；　if　any　can　turn　that　study　to　advance　the　ideal　of　life；　it
immediately　becomes　most　valuable。　But　not　without　the　human　ideal。　It　is
nothing　to　me　if　the　planets　revolve　around　the　sun；　or　the　sun　around　the
earth；　unless　I　can　thereby　gather　an　increase　of　body　or　mind。　As　the
conception　of　the　planets　revolving　around　the　sun；　the　present　astronomical
conception　of　the　heavens；　is　distinctly　grander　than　that　of　Ptolemy；　it　is
therefore　superior；　and　a　gain　to　the　human　mind。　So　with　other　sciences；
not　immediately　useful；　yet　if　they　furnish　the　mind　with　material　of
thought；　they　are　an　advance。

But　not　in　themselvesonly　in　conjunction　with　the　human　ideal。
Once　let　that　slip　out　of　the　thought；　and　science　is　of　no
more　use　than　the　invocations　in　the　Egyptian　papyri。　The　world　would　be　the
gainer　if　the　Nile　rose　and　swept　away　pyramid　and　tomb；　sarcophagus；
papyri；　and　inscription；　for　it　seems　as　if　most　of　the　superstitions　which
still　to　this　hour；　in　our　own　country；　hold　minds　in　their　sway；　originated
in　Egypt。　The　world　would　be　the　gainer　if　a　Nile　flood　of　new　thought　arose
and　swept　away　the　past；　concentrating　the　effort　of　all　the　races　of　the
earth　upon　man's　body；　that　it　might　reach　an　ideal　of　shape；　and　health；
and　happiness。

Nothing　is　of　any　use　unless　it　gives　me　a　stronger　body　and
mind；　a　more　beautiful　body；　a　happy　existence；　and　a　soul…life
now。　The　last　phase　of　philosophy　is　equally　useless　with　the
rest。　The　belief　that　the　human　mind　was　evolved；　in　the　process　of
unnumbered　years；　from　a　fragment　of　palpitating　slime　through　a　thousand
gradations；　is　a　modern　superstition；　and　proceeds　upon　assumption　alone。

Nothing　is　evolved；　no　evolution　takes　place；　there　is　no　record
of　such　an　event；　it　is　pure　assertion。　The　theory　fascinates
many；　because　they　find；　upon　study　of　physiology；　that　the
gradations　between　animal　and　vegetable　are　so　fine　and　so　close　together；
as　if　a　common　web　bound　them　together。　But　although　they　stand　so　near　they
never　change　places。　They　are　like　the
figures　on　the　face　of　a　clock；　there　are　minute　dots　between；
apparently　connecting　each　with　the　other；　and　the　hands　move
round　over　all。　Yet　ten　never　becomes　twelve；　and　each　second
even　is　parted　from　the　next；　as　you　may　hear　by　listening　to
the　beat。　So　the　gradations　of　life；　past　and　present；　though
standing　close　together　never　change　places。　Nothing　is　evolved。
There　is　no　evolution　any　more　than　there　is　any　design　in　nature。　　By
standing　face　to　face　with　nature；　and　not　from　books；　I　have　convinced
myself　that　there　is　no　design　and　no　evolution。　What　there　is；　what　was　the
cause；　how　and　why；　is　not　yet　known；　certainly　it　was　neither　of　these。

But　it　may　be　argued　the　world　must　have　been　created；　or　it
must　have　been　made　of　existing　things；　or　it　must　have　been
evolved；　or　it　must　have　existed　for　ever；　through　all　eternity。
I　think　not。　I　do　not　think　that　either　of　these　are　〃musts；〃　nor　that　any
〃must〃　has　yet　been　discovered；　not　even　that　there　〃must〃　be　a　first　cause。
There　may　be　other　thingsother　physical　forces　evenof　which　we　know
nothing。　I　strongly　suspect　there　are。　　There　may　be　other　ideas　altogether
from　any　we　have　hitherto　had　the　use　of。　For　many　ages　our　ideas　have　been
confined　to　two　or　three。　We　have　conceived　the