the diary of a nobody-第19节

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There　was　a　very　liberal　repast　on　the　tables；　plenty　of　champagne；　claret；　etc。；　and；　in　fact；　everything　seemed　to　be　done　regardless　of　expense。　　Mr。　Padge　is　a　man　that；　I　admit；　I　have　no　particular　liking　for；　but　I　felt　so　glad　to　come　across　someone　I　knew；　that　I　asked　him　to　sit　at　our　table；　and　I　must　say　that　for　a　short　fat　man　he　looked　well　in　uniform；　although　I　think　his　tunic　was　rather　baggy　in　the　back。　　It　was　the　only　supper…room　that　I　have　been　in　that　was　not　over…crowded；　in　fact　we　were　the　only　people　there；　everybody　being　so　busy　dancing。

I　assisted　Carrie　and　her　newly…formed　acquaintance；　who　said　her　name　was　Lupkin；　to　some　champagne；　also　myself；　and　handed　the　bottle　to　Mr。　Padge　to　do　likewise；　saying：　　〃You　must　look　after　yourself。〃　　He　replied：　　〃That's　right；〃　and　poured　out　half　a　tumbler　and　drank　Carrie's　health；　coupled；　as　he　said；　〃with　her　worthy　lord　and　master。〃　　We　all　had　some　splendid　pigeon　pie；　and　ices　to　follow。

The　waiters　were　very　attentive；　and　asked　if　we　would　like　some　more　wine。　　I　assisted　Carrie　and　her　friend　and　Mr。　Padge；　also　some　people　who　had　just　come　from　the　dancing…room；　who　were　very　civil。　　It　occurred　to　me　at　the　time　that　perhaps　some　of　the　gentlemen　knew　me　in　the　City；　as　they　were　so　polite。　　I　made　myself　useful；　and　assisted　several　ladies　to　ices；　remembering　an　old　saying　that　〃There　is　nothing　lost　by　civility。〃

The　band　struck　up　for　the　dance；　and　they　all　went　into　the　ball…　room。　　The　ladies　（Carrie　and　Mrs。　Lupkin）　were　anxious　to　see　the　dancing；　and　as　I　had　not　quite　finished　my　supper；　Mr。　Padge　offered　his　arms　to　them　and　escorted　them　to　the　ball…room；　telling　me　to　follow。　　I　said　to　Mr。　Padge：　　〃It　is　quite　a　West　End　affair；〃　to　which　remark　Mr。　Padge　replied：　　〃That's　right。〃

When　I　had　quite　finished　my　supper；　and　was　leaving；　the　waiter　who　had　been　attending　on　us　arrested　my　attention　by　tapping　me　on　the　shoulder。　　I　thought　it　unusual　for　a　waiter　at　a　private　ball　to　expect　a　tip；　but　nevertheless　gave　a　shilling；　as　he　had　been　very　attentive。　　He　smilingly　replied：　　〃I　beg　your　pardon；　sir；　this　is　no　good；〃　alluding　to　the　shilling。　　〃Your　party's　had　four　suppers　at　5s。　a　head；　five　ices　at　1s。；　three　bottles　of　champagne　at　11s。　6d。；　a　glass　of　claret；　and　a　sixpenny　cigar　for　the　stout　gentleman　…　in　all　3　pounds　0s。　6d。！〃

I　don't　think　I　was　ever　so　surprised　in　my　life；　and　had　only　sufficient　breath　to　inform　him　that　I　had　received　a　private　invitation；　to　which　he　answered　that　he　was　perfectly　well　aware　of　that；　but　that　the　invitation　didn't　include　eatables　and　drinkables。　　A　gentleman　who　was　standing　at　the　bar　corroborated　the　waiter's　statement；　and　assured　me　it　was　quite　correct。

The　waiter　said　he　was　extremely　sorry　if　I　had　been　under　any　misapprehension；　but　it　was　not　his　fault。　　Of　course　there　was　nothing　to　be　done　but　to　pay。　　So；　after　turning　out　my　pockets；　I　just　managed　to　scrape　up　sufficient；　all　but　nine　shillings；　but　the　manager；　on　my　giving　my　card　to　him；　said：　　〃That's　all　right。〃

I　don't　think　I　ever　felt　more　humiliated　in　my　life；　and　I　determined　to　keep　this　misfortune　from　Carrie；　　for　it　would　entirely　destroy　the　pleasant　evening　she　was　enjoying。　　I　felt　there　was　no　more　enjoyment　for　me　that　evening；　and　it　being　late；　I　sought　Carrie　and　Mrs。　Lupkin。　　Carrie　said　she　was　quite　ready　to　go；　and　Mrs。　Lupkin；　as　we　were　wishing　her　〃Good…night；〃　asked　Carrie　and　myself　if　we　ever　paid　a　visit　to　Southend？　　On　my　replying　that　I　hadn't　been　there　for　many　years；　she　very　kindly　said：　　〃Well；　why　don't　you　come　down　and　stay　at　our　place？〃　　As　her　invitation　was　so　pressing；　and　observing　that　Carrie　wished　to　go；　we　promised　we　would　visit　her　the　next　Saturday　week；　and　stay　till　Monday。　　Mrs。　Lupkin　said　she　would　write　to　us　to…morrow；　giving　us　the　address　and　particulars　of　trains；　etc。

When　we　got　outside　the　Drill　Hall　it　was　raining　so　hard　that　the　roads　resembled　canals；　and　I　need　hardly　say　we　had　great　difficulty　in　getting　a　cabman　to　take　us　to　Holloway。　　After　waiting　a　bit；　a　man　said　he　would　drive　us；　anyhow；　as　far　as　〃The　Angel；〃　at　Islington；　and　we　could　easily　get　another　cab　from　there。　　It　was　a　tedious　journey；　the　rain　was　beating　against　the　windows　and　trickling　down　the　inside　of　the　cab。

When　we　arrived　at　〃The　Angel〃　the　horse　seemed　tired　out。　　Carrie　got　out　and　ran　into　a　doorway；　and　when　I　came　to　pay；　to　my　absolute　horror　I　remembered　I　had　no　money；　nor　had　Carrie。　　I　explained　to　the　cabman　how　we　were　situated。　　Never　in　my　life　have　I　ever　been　so　insulted；　the　cabman；　who　was　a　rough　bully　and　to　my　thinking　not　sober；　called　me　every　name　he　could　lay　his　tongue　to；　and　positively　seized　me　by　the　beard；　which　he　pulled　till　the　tears　came　into　my　eyes。　　I　took　the　number　of　a　policeman　（who　witnessed　the　assault）　for　not　taking　the　man　in　charge。　　The　policeman　said　he　couldn't　interfere；　that　he　had　seen　no　assault；　and　that　people　should　not　ride　in　cabs　without　money。

We　had　to　walk　home　in　the　pouring　rain；　nearly　two　miles；　and　when　I　got　in　I　put　down　the　conversation　I　had　with　the　cabman；　word　for　word；　as　I　intend　writing　to　the　TELEGRAPH　for　the　purpose　of　proposing　that　cabs　should　be　driven　only　by　men　under　Government　control；　to　prevent　civilians　being　subjected　to　the　disgraceful　insult　and　outrage　that　I　had　had　to　endure。

April　17。　…　No　water　in　our　cistern　again。　　Sent　for　Putley；　who　said　he　would　soon　remedy　that；　the　cistern　being　zinc。

April　18。　…　Water　all　right　again　in　the　cistern。　　Mrs。　James；　of　Sutton；　called　in　the　afternoon。　　She　and　Carrie　draped　the　mantelpiece　in　the　drawing…room；　and　put　little　toy　spiders；　frogs　and　beetles　all　over　it；　as　Mrs。　James　says　it's　quite　the　fashion。　It　was　Mrs。　James'　suggestion；　and　of　course　Carrie　always　does　what　Mrs。　James　suggests。　　For　my　part；　I　preferred　the　mantelpiece　as　it　was；　but　there；　I'm　a　plain　man；　and　don't　pretend　to　be　in　the　fashion。

April　19。　…　Our　next…door　neighbour；　Mr。　Griffin；　called；　and　in　a　rather　offensive　tone　accused　me；　or　〃someone；〃　of　boring　a　hole　in　his　cistern　and　letting　out　his　water　to　supply　our　cistern；　which　adjoined　his。　　He　said　he　should　have　his　repaired；　and　send　us　in　the　bill。

April　20。　…　Cummings　called；　hobbling　in　with　a　stick；　saying　he　had　been　on　his　back　for　a　week。　　It　appears　he　was　trying　to　shut　his　bedroom　door；　which　is　situated　just　at　the　top　of　the　staircase；　and　unknown　to　him　a　piece　of　cork　the　dog　had　been　playing　with　had　got　between　the　door；　and　prevented　it　shutting；　and　in　pulling　the　door　hard；　to　give　it　an　extra　slam；　the　handle　came　off　in　his　hands；　and　he　fell　backwards　downstairs。

On　hearing　this；　Lupin　suddenly　jumped　up　from　the　couch　and　rushed　out　of　the　room　sideways。　　Cummings　looked　very　indignant；　and　remarked　it　was　very　poor　fun　a　man　nearly　breaking　his　back；　and　though　I　had　my　suspicions　that　Lupin　was　laughing；　I　assured　Cummings　that　he　had　only　run　out　to　open　the　door　to　a　friend　he　expected。　　Cummings　said　this　was　the　second　time　he　had　been　laid　up；　and　we　had　never　sent　to　inquire。　　I　said　I　knew　nothing　about　it。　　Cummings　said：　　〃It　was　mentioned　in　the　BICYCLE　NEWS。〃

April　22。　…　I　have　of　late　frequently　noticed　Carrie　rubbing　her　nails　a　good　deal　with　an　instrument；　and　on　asking　her　what　she　was　doing；　she　replied：　　〃Oh；　I'm　going　in　for　manicuring。　　It's　all　the　fashion　now。〃　　I　said：　　〃I　suppose　Mrs。　James　introduced　that　into　your　head。〃　　Carrie　laughingly　replied：　　〃Yes；　but　everyone　does　it　now。〃

I　wish　Mrs。　James　wouldn't　come　to　the　house。　　Whenever　she　does　she　always　introduces　some　new…fandangled　rubbish　into　Carrie's　head。　　One　of　these　days　I　feel　sure　I　shall　tell　her　she's　not　welcome。　　I　am　sure　it　was　Mrs。　James　who　put　Carrie　up　to　writing　on　dark　slate…coloured　paper　with　white　ink。　　Nonsense！

April　23。　…　Received　a　letter　from　Mrs。　Lupkin；　of　Southend；　telling　us　the　train　to　come　by　on　Saturday；　and　hoping　we　will　keep　our　promise　to　stay　with　her。　　The　letter　concluded：　　〃You　must　come　and　stay　at　our　house；　we　shall　charge　you　half　what　you　will　have　to　pay　at　the　Royal；　and　the　view　is　every　bit　as　good。〃　Looking　at　the　address　at　the　top　of　the　note…paper；　I　found　it　was　〃Lupkin's　Family　and　Commercial　Hotel。〃

I　wrote　a　note；　saying　we　were　compelled　to　〃decline　her　kind　invitation。〃　　Carrie　thought　this　very　satirical；　and　to　the　point。

By…the…by；　I　will　never　choose　another　cloth　pattern　at　night。　　I　ordered　a　new　suit　of　dittos　for　the　garden　at　Edwards'；　and　chose　the　pattern　by　gaslight；　and　they　seemed　to　be　a　quiet　pepper…and…　salt　mixture　with　white　stripes　down。　　They　came　home　this　morning；　and；　to　my　horror；　I　found　it　was　quite　a　flash…looking　suit。　There　was　a　lot　of　green　with　bright　yellow…coloured　stripes。

I　tried　on　the　coat；　and　was　annoyed　to　find　Carrie　giggling。　　She　said：　　〃What　mixture　did　you　say　you　asked　for？〃

I　said：　　〃A　quiet　pepper　and　salt。〃

Carrie　said：　　〃Well；　it　looks　more　like　mustard；　if　you　want　to　know　the　truth。〃



CHAPTER　XIX。



Meet　Teddy　Finsworth；　an　old　schoolfellow。　　We　have　a　pleasant　and　quiet　dinner　at