the diary of a nobody-第10节

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Gowing　called　to　know　if　he　was　to　put　on　〃swallow…tails〃　to…　morrow。　　Carrie　said　he　had　better　dress；　especially　as　Mr。　Franching　was　coming；　and　there　was　a　possibility　of　Mr。　Perkupp　also　putting　in　an　appearance。

Gowing　said：　　〃Oh；　I　only　wanted　to　know；　for　I　have　not　worn　my　dress…coat　for　some　time；　and　I　must　send　it　to　have　the　creases　pressed　out。〃

After　Gowing　left；　Lupin　came　in；　and　in　his　anxiety　to　please　Daisy　Mutlar；　carped　at　and　criticised　the　arrangements；　and；　in　fact；　disapproved　of　everything；　including　our　having　asked　our　old　friend　Cummings；　who；　he　said；　would　look　in　evening…dress　like　a　green…grocer　engaged　to　wait；　and　who　must　not　be　surprised　if　Daisy　took　him　for　one。

I　fairly　lost　my　temper；　and　said：　　〃Lupin；　allow　me　to　tell　you　Miss　Daisy　Mutlar　is　not　the　Queen　of　England。　　I　gave　you　credit　for　more　wisdom　than　to　allow　yourself　to　be　inveigled　into　an　engagement　with　a　woman　considerably　older　than　yourself。　　I　advise　you　to　think　of　earning　your　living　before　entangling　yourself　with　a　wife　whom　you　will　have　to　support；　and；　in　all　probability；　her　brother　also；　who　appeared　to　be　nothing　but　a　loafer。〃

Instead　of　receiving　this　advice　in　a　sensible　manner；　Lupin　jumped　up　and　said：　　〃If　you　insult　the　lady　I　am　engaged　to；　you　insult　me。　　I　will　leave　the　house　and　never　darken　your　doors　again。〃

He　went　out　of　the　house；　slamming　the　hall…door。　　But　it　was　all　right。　　He　came　back　to　supper；　and　we　played　Bezique　till　nearly　twelve　o'clock。



CHAPTER　IX。



Our　first　important　Party。　　Old　Friends　and　New　Friends。　　Gowing　is　a　little　annoying；　but　his　friend；　Mr。　Stillbrook；　turns　out　to　be　quite　amusing。　　Inopportune　arrival　of　Mr。　Perkupp；　but　he　is　most　kind　and　complimentary。　　Party　a　great　success。


November　15。　…　A　red…letter　day。　　Our　first　important　party　since　we　have　been　in　this　house。　　I　got　home　early　from　the　City。　　Lupin　insisted　on　having　a　hired　waiter；　and　stood　a　half…dozen　of　champagne。　　I　think　this　an　unnecessary　expense；　but　Lupin　said　he　had　had　a　piece　of　luck；　having　made　three　pounds　out　a　private　deal　in　the　City。　　I　hope　he　won't　gamble　in　his　new　situation。　The　supper…room　looked　so　nice；　and　Carrie　truly　said：　　〃We　need　not　be　ashamed　of　its　being　seen　by　Mr。　Perkupp；　should　he　honour　us　by　coming。〃

I　dressed　early　in　case　people　should　arrive　punctually　at　eight　o'clock；　and　was　much　vexed　to　find　my　new　dress…trousers　much　too　short。

Lupin；　who　is　getting　beyond　his　position；　found　fault　with　my　wearing　ordinary　boots　instead　of　dress…boots。

I　replied　satirically：　　〃My　dear　son；　I　have　lived　to　be　above　that　sort　of　thing。〃

Lupin　burst　out　laughing；　and　said：　　〃A　man　generally　was　above　his　boots。〃

This　may　be　funny；　or　it　may　NOT；　but　I　was　gratified　to　find　he　had　not　discovered　the　coral　had　come　off　one　of　my　studs。　　Carrie　looked　a　picture；　wearing　the　dress　she　wore　at　the　Mansion　House。　The　arrangement　of　the　drawing…room　was　excellent。　　Carrie　had　hung　muslin　curtains　over　the　folding…doors；　and　also　over　one　of　the　entrances；　for　we　had　removed　the　door　from　its　hinges。

Mr。　Peters；　the　waiter；　arrived　in　good　time；　and　I　gave　him　strict　orders　not　to　open　another　bottle　of　champagne　until　the　previous　one　was　empty。　　Carrie　arranged　for　some　sherry　and　port　wine　to　be　placed　on　the　drawing…room　sideboard；　with　some　glasses。　　By…the…　by；　our　new　enlarged　and　tinted　photographs　look　very　nice　on　the　walls；　especially　as　Carrie　has　arranged　some　Liberty　silk　bows　on　the　four　corners　of　them。

The　first　arrival　was　Gowing；　who；　with　his　usual　taste；　greeted　me　with：　　〃Hulloh；　Pooter；　why　your　trousers　are　too　short！〃

I　simply　said：　　〃Very　likely；　and　you　will　find　my　temper　'sHORT'　also。〃

He　said：　　〃That　won't　make　your　trousers　longer；　Juggins。　　You　should　get　your　missus　to　put　a　flounce　on　them。〃

I　wonder　I　waste　my　time　entering　his　insulting　observations　in　my　diary。

The　next　arrivals　were　Mr。　and　Mrs。　Cummings。　　The　former　said：　〃As　you　didn't　say　anything　about　dress；　I　have　come　'half　dress。'〃　He　had　on　a　black　frock…coat　and　white　tie。　　The　James'；　Mr。　Merton；　and　Mr。　Stillbrook　arrived；　but　Lupin　was　restless　and　unbearable　till　his　Daisy　Mutlar　and　Frank　arrived。

Carrie　and　I　were　rather　startled　at　Daisy's　appearance。　　She　had　a　bright…crimson　dress　on；　cut　very　low　in　the　neck。　　I　do　not　think　such　a　style　modest。　　She　ought　to　have　taken　a　lesson　from　Carrie；　and　covered　her　shoulders　with　a　little　lace。　　Mr。　Nackles；　Mr。　Sprice…Hogg　and　his　four　daughters　came；　so　did　Franching；　and　one　or　two　of　Lupin's　new　friends；　members　of　the　〃Holloway　Comedians。〃　Some　of　these　seemed　rather　theatrical　in　their　manner；　especially　one；　who　was　posing　all　the　evening；　and　leant　on　our　little　round　table　and　cracked　it。　　Lupin　called　him　〃our　Henry；〃　and　said　he　was　〃our　lead　at　the　H。C。's；〃　and　was　quite　as　good　in　that　department　as　Harry　Mutlar　was　as　the　low…comedy　merchant。　　All　this　is　Greek　to　me。

We　had　some　music；　and　Lupin；　who　never　left　Daisy's　side　for　a　moment；　raved　over　her　singing　of　a　song；　called　〃Some　Day。〃　　It　seemed　a　pretty　song；　but　she　made　such　grimaces；　and　sang；　to　my　mind；　so　out　of　tune；　I　would　not　have　asked　her　to　sing　again；　but　Lupin　made　her　sing　four　songs　right　off；　one　after　the　other。

At　ten　o'clock　we　went　down　to　supper；　and　from　the　way　Gowing　and　Cummings　ate　you　would　have　thought　they　had　not　had　a　meal　for　a　month。　　I　told　Carrie　to　keep　something　back　in　case　Mr。　Perkupp　should　come　by　mere　chance。　　Gowing　annoyed　me　very　much　by　filling　a　large　tumbler　of　champagne；　and　drinking　it　straight　off。　　He　repeated　this　action；　and　made　me　fear　our　half…dozen　of　champagne　would　not　last　out。　　I　tried　to　keep　a　bottle　back；　but　Lupin　got　hold　of　it；　and　took　it　to　the　side…table　with　Daisy　and　Frank　Mutlar。

We　went　upstairs；　and　the　young　fellows　began　skylarking。　　Carrie　put　a　stop　to　that　at　once。　　Stillbrook　amused　us　with　a　song；　〃What　have　you　done　with　your　Cousin　John？〃　　I　did　not　notice　that　Lupin　and　Frank　had　disappeared。　　I　asked　Mr。　Watson；　one　of　the　Holloways；　where　they　were；　and　he　said：　　〃It's　a　case　of　'Oh；　what　a　surprise！'〃

We　were　directed　to　form　a　circle　…　which　we　did。　　Watson　then　said：　　〃I　have　much　pleasure　in　introducing　the　celebrated　Blondin　Donkey。〃　　Frank　and　Lupin　then　bounded　into　the　room。　　Lupin　had　whitened　his　face　like　a　clown；　and　Frank　had　tied　round　his　waist　a　large　hearthrug。　　He　was　supposed　to　be　the　donkey；　and　he　looked　it。　　They　indulged　in　a　very　noisy　pantomime；　and　we　were　all　shrieking　with　laughter。

I　turned　round　suddenly；　and　then　I　saw　Mr　Perkupp　standing　half…　way　in　the　door；　he　having　arrived　without　our　knowing　it。　　I　beckoned　to　Carrie；　and　we　went　up　to　him　at　once。　　He　would　not　come　right　into　the　room。　　I　apologised　for　the　foolery；　but　Mr。　Perkupp　said：　　〃Oh；　it　seems　amusing。〃　　I　could　see　he　was　not　a　bit　amused。

Carrie　and　I　took　him　downstairs；　but　the　table　was　a　wreck。　　There　was　not　a　glass　of　champagne　left　…　not　even　a　sandwich。　　Mr。　Perkupp　said　he　required　nothing；　but　would　like　a　glass　of　seltzer　or　soda　water。　　The　last　syphon　was　empty。　　Carrie　said：　　〃We　have　plenty　of　port　wine　left。〃　　Mr。　Perkupp　said；　with　a　smile：　　〃No；　thank　you。　　I　really　require　nothing；　but　I　am　most　pleased　to　see　you　and　your　husband　in　your　own　home。　　Good…night；　Mrs。　Pooter　…　you　will　excuse　my　very　short　stay；　I　know。〃　　I　went　with　him　to　his　carriage；　and　he　said：　　〃Don't　trouble　to　come　to　the　office　till　twelve　to…morrow。〃

I　felt　despondent　as　I　went　back　to　the　house；　and　I　told　Carrie　I　thought　the　party　was　a　failure。　　Carrie　said　it　was　a　great　success；　and　I　was　only　tired；　and　insisted　on　my　having　some　port　myself。　　I　drank　two　glasses；　and　felt　much　better；　and　we　went　into　the　drawing…room；　where　they　had　commenced　dancing。　　Carrie　and　I　had　a　little　dance；　which　I　said　reminded　me　of　old　days。　She　said　I　was　a　spooney　old　thing。



CHAPTER　X。



Reflections。　　I　make　another　Good　Joke。　　Am　annoyed　at　the　constant　serving…up　of　the　〃Blanc…Mange。〃　　Lupin　expresses　his　opinion　of　Weddings。　　Lupin　falls　out　with　Daisy　Mutlar。


November　16。　…　Woke　about　twenty　times　during　the　night；　with　terrible　thirst。　　Finished　off　all　the　water　in　the　bottle；　as　well　as　half　that　in　the　jug。　　Kept　dreaming　also；　that　last　night's　party　was　a　failure；　and　that　a　lot　of　low　people　came　without　invitation；　and　kept　chaffing　and　throwing　things　at　Mr。　Perkupp；　till　at　last　I　was　obliged　to　hide　him　in　the　box…room　（which　we　had　just　discovered）；　with　a　bath…towel　over　him。　　It　seems　absurd　now；　but　it　was　painfully　real　in　the　dream。　　I　had　the　same　dream　about　a　dozen　times。

Carrie　annoyed　me　by　saying：　　〃You　know　champagne　never　agrees　with　you。〃　　I　told　her　I　had　only　a　couple　of　glasses　of　it；　having　kept　myself　entirely　to　port。　　I　added　that　good　champagne　hurt　nobody；　and　Lupin　told　me　he　had　only　got　it　from　a　traveller　as　a　favour；　as　that　particular　brand　had　been　entirely　bought　up　by　a　West…End　club。

I　think　I　ate　too　heartily　of　the　〃side　dishes；〃　as　the　waiter　called　them。　　I　said　to　Carrie：　　〃I　wish　I　had　put　those　'side　dishes'　ASIDE。〃　　I　repeated