memoirs of carwin the biloquist-第7节
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ue of all principles； and their truth； lie in their practical effects。 Hence； gradually arose； the usefulness of travelling； of inspecting the habits and manners of a nation； and investigating； on the spot； the causes of their happiness and misery。 Finally； it was determined that Spain was more suitable than any other； to the views of a judicious traveller。
My language； habits； and religion were mentioned as obstacles to close and extensive views； but these difficulties successively and slowly vanished。 Converse with books； and natives of Spain； a steadfast purpose and unwearied diligence would efface all differences between me and a Castilian with respect to speech。 Personal habits； were changeable； by the same means。 The bars to unbounded intercourse； rising from the religion of Spain being irreconcilably opposite to mine； cost us no little trouble to surmount； and here the skill of Ludloe was eminently displayed。
I had been accustomed to regard as unquestionable； the fallacy of the Romish faith。 This persuasion was habitual and the child of prejudice； and was easily shaken by the artifices of this logician。 I was first led to bestow a kind of assent on the doctrines of the Roman church； but my convictions were easily subdued by a new species of argumentation； and； in a short time； I reverted to my ancient disbelief； so that； if an exterior conformity to the rights of Spain were requisite to the attainment of my purpose； that conformity must be dissembled。
My moral principles had hitherto been vague and unsettled。 My circumstances had led me to the frequent practice of insincerity； but my transgressions as they were slight and transient； did not much excite my previous reflections； or subsequent remorse。 My deviations； however； though rendered easy by habit； were by no means sanctioned by my principles。 Now an imposture； more profound and deliberate； was projected； and I could not hope to perform well my part； unless steadfastly and thoroughly persuaded of its rectitude。
My friend was the eulogist of sincerity。 He delighted to trace its influence on the happiness of mankind； and proved that nothing but the universal practice of this virtue was necessary to the perfection of human society。 His doctrine was splendid and beautiful。 To detect its imperfections was no easy task； to lay the foundations of virtue in utility； and to limit； by that scale； the operation of general principles； to see that the value of sincerity； like that of every other mode of action； consisted in its tendency to good； and that； therefore the obligation to speak truth was not paramount or intrinsical： that my duty is modelled on a knowledge and foresight of the conduct of others； and that； since men in their actual state； are infirm and deceitful； a just estimate of consequences may sometimes make dissimulation my duty were truths that did not speedily occur。 The discovery； when made； appeared to be a joint work。 I saw nothing in Ludlow but proofs of candour； and a judgment incapable of bias。
The means which this man employed to fit me for his purpose； perhaps owed their success to my youth and ignorance。 I may have given you exaggerated ideas of his dexterity and address。 Of that I am unable to judge。 Certain it is； that no time or reflection has abated my astonishment at the profoundness of his schemes； and the perseverance with which they were pursued by him。 To detail their progress would expose me to the risk of being tedious； yet none but minute details would sufficiently display his patience and subtlety。
It will suffice to relate； that after a sufficient period of preparation and arrangements being made for maintaining a copious intercourse with Ludlow； I embarked for Barcelona。 A restless curiosity and vigorous application have distinguished my character in every scene。 Here was spacious field for the exercise of all my energies。 I sought out a preceptor in my new religion。 I entered into the hearts of priests and confessors； the ~hidalgo~ and the peasant； the monk and the prelate； the austere and voluptuous devotee were scrutinized in all their forms。
Man was the chief subject of my study； and the social sphere that in which I principally moved； but I was not inattentive to inanimate nature； nor unmindful of the past。 If the scope of virtue were to maintain the body in health； and to furnish its highest enjoyments to every sense； to increase the number； and accuracy； and order of our intellectual stores； no virtue was ever more unblemished than mine。 If to act upon our conceptions of right； and to acquit ourselves of all prejudice and selfishness in the formation of our principles； entitle us to the testimony of a good conscience； I might justly claim it。
I shall not pretend to ascertain my rank in the moral scale。 Your notions of duty differ widely from mine。 If a system of deceit； pursued merely from the love of truth； if voluptuousness； never gratified at the expense of health； may incur censure； I am censurable。 This； indeed； was not the limit of my deviations。 Deception was often unnecessarily practised； and my biloquial faculty did not lie unemployed。 What has happened to yourselves may enable you； in some degree； to judge of the scenes in which my mystical exploits engaged me。 In none of them； indeed； were the effects equally disastrous； and they were； for the most part； the result of well digested projects。
To recount these would be an endless task。 They were designed as mere specimens of power； to illustrate the influence of superstition： to give sceptics the consolation of certainty： to annihilate the scruples of a tender female； or facilitate my access to the bosoms of courtiers and monks。
The first achievement of this kind took place in the convent of the Escurial。 For some time the hospitality of this brotherhood allowed me a cell in that magnificent and gloomy fabric。 I was drawn hither chiefly by the treasures of Arabian literature； which are preserved here in the keeping of a learned Maronite； from Lebanon。 Standing one evening on the steps of the great altar； this devout friar expatiated on the miraculous evidences of his religion； and； in a moment of enthusiasm； appealed to San Lorenzo； whose martyrdom was displayed before us。 No sooner was the appeal made than the saint； obsequious to the summons； whispered his responses from the shrine； and commanded the heretic to tremble and believe。 This event was reported to the convent。 With whatever reluctance； I could not refuse my testimony to its truth； and its influence on my faith was clearly shewn in my subsequent conduct。
A lady of rank； in Seville； who had been guilty of many unauthorized indulgences； was； at last； awakened to remorse； by a voice from Heaven； which she imagined had commanded her to expiate her sins by an abstinence from all food for thirty days。 Her friends found it impossible to outroot this persuasion； or to overcome her resolution even by force。 I chanced to be one in a numerous company where she was present。 This fatal illusion was mentioned； and an opportunity afforded to the lady of defending her scheme。 At a pause in the discourse； a voice was heard from the ceiling； which confirmed the truth of her tale； but； at the same time revoked the command； and； in consideration of her faith； pronounced her absolution。 Satisfied with this proof； the auditors dismissed their unbelief； and the lady consented to eat。
In the course of a copious correspondence with Ludlow； the observations I had collected were given。 A sentiment； which I can hardly describe； induced me to be silent on all adventures connected with my bivocal projects。 On other topics； I wrote fully； and without restraint。 I painted； in vivid hues； the scenes with which I was daily conversant； and pursued； fearlessly； every speculation on religion and government that occurred。 This spirit was encouraged by Ludloe； who failed not to comment on my narrative； and multiply deductions from my principles。
He taught me to ascribe the evils that infest society to the errors of opinion。 The absurd and unequal distribution of power and property gave birth to poverty and riches； and these were the sources of luxury and crimes。 These positions were readily admitted； but the remedy for these ills； the means of rectifying these errors were not easily discovered。 We have been inclined to impute them to inherent defects in the moral constitution of men： that oppression and tyranny grow up by a sort of natural necessity； and that they will perish only when the human species is extinct。 Ludloe laboured to prove that this was； by no means； the case： that man is the creature of circumstances： that he is capable of endless improvement： that his progress has been stopped by the artificial impediment of government： that by the removal of this； the fondest dreams of imagination will be realized。
From detailing and accounting for the evils which exist under our present institutions； he usually proceeded to delineate some scheme of Utopian felicity； where the empire of reason should supplant that of force： where justice should be universally understood and practised； where the interest of the whole and of the individual should be seen by all to
