all roads lead to calvary-第34节
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rnoon to give it a draught of fresh air。 He would be at the Robin Hood gate in Richmond Park at three o'clock。 Perhaps the gods would be good to him。 He would wait there for half an hour to give them a chance； anyway。
She slipped the letter unconsciously into the bosom of her dress； and sat looking out of the window。 It promised to be a glorious day； and London was stifling and gritty。 Surely no one but an unwholesome…minded prude could jib at a walk across a park。 Mrs。 Phillips would be delighted to hear that she had gone。 For the matter of that； she would tell herwhen next they met。
Phillips must have seen her getting off the bus； for he came forward at once from the other side of the gate； his face radiant with boyish delight。 A young man and woman； entering the park at the same time； looked at them and smiled sympathetically。
Joan had no idea the park contained such pleasant by…ways。 But for an occasional perambulator they might have been in the heart of the country。 The fallow deer stole near to them with noiseless feet； regarding them out of their large gentle eyes with looks of comradeship。 They paused and listened while a missal thrush from a branch close to them poured out his song of hope and courage。 From quite a long way off they could still hear his clear voice singing； telling to the young and brave his gallant message。 It seemed too beautiful a day for politics。 After all； politicsone has them always with one； but the spring passes。
He saw her on to a bus at Kingston； and himself went back by train。 They agreed they would not mention it to Mrs。 Phillips。 Not that she would have minded。 The danger was that she would want to come； too； honestly thinking thereby to complete their happiness。 It seemed to be tacitly understood there would be other such excursions。
The summer was propitious。 Phillips knew his London well； and how to get away from it。 There were winding lanes in Hertfordshire； Surrey hills and commons； deep； cool； bird…haunted woods in Buckingham。 Each week there was something to look forward to； something to plan for and manoeuvre。 The sense of adventure； a spice of danger； added zest。 She still knocked frequently； as before； at the door of the hideously…furnished little house in North Street； but Mrs。 Phillips no longer oppressed her as some old man of the sea she could never hope to shake off from her shoulders。 The flabby； foolish face； robbed of its terrors； became merely pitiful。 She found herself able to be quite gentle and patient with Mrs。 Phillips。 Even the sloppy kisses she came to bear without a shudder down her spine。
〃I know you are only doing it because you sympathize with his aims and want him to win；〃 acknowledged the good lady。 〃But I can't help feeling grateful to you。 I don't feel how useless I am while I've got you to run to。〃
They still discussed their various plans for the amelioration and improvement of humanity； but there seemed less need for haste than they had thought。 The world； Joan discovered； was not so sad a place as she had judged it。 There were chubby； rogue…eyed children； whistling lads and smiling maidens； kindly men with ruddy faces； happy mothers crooning over gurgling babies。 There was no call to be fretful and vehement。 They would work together in patience and in confidence。 God's sun was everywhere。 It needed only that dark places should be opened up and it would enter。
Sometimes； seated on a lichened log； or on the short grass of some sloping hillside； looking down upon some quiet valley； they would find they had been holding hands while talking。 It was but as two happy； thoughtless children might have done。 They would look at one another with frank； clear eyes and smile。
Once； when their pathway led through a littered farm…yard； he had taken her up in his arms and carried her and she had felt a glad pride in him that he had borne her lightly as if she had been a child； looking up at her and laughing。
An old bent man paused from his work and watched them。 〃Lean more over him； missie；〃 he advised her。 〃That's the way。 Many a mile I've carried my lass like that； in flood time； and never felt her weight。〃
Often on returning home； not knowing why； she would look into the glass。 It seemed to her that the girlhood she had somehow missed was awakening in her； taking possession of her； changing her。 The lips she had always seen pressed close and firm were growing curved； leaving a little parting； as though they were not quite so satisfied with one another。 The level brows were becoming slightly raised。 It gave her a questioning look that was new to her。 The eyes beneath were less confident。 They seemed to be seeking something。
One evening； on her way home from a theatre； she met Flossie。 〃Can't stop now；〃 said Flossie； who was hurrying。 〃But I want to see you： most particular。 Was going to look you up。 Will you be at home to…morrow afternoon at tea…time？〃
There was a distinct challenge in Flossie's eye as she asked the question。 Joan felt herself flush； and thought a moment。
〃Yes；〃 she answered。 〃Will you be coming alone？〃
〃That's the idea；〃 answered Flossie； 〃a heart to heart talk between you and me； and nobody else。 Half…past four。 Don't forget。〃
Joan walked on slowly。 She had the worried feeling with which； once or twice； when a schoolgirl； she had crawled up the stairs to bed after the head mistress had informed her that she would see her in her private room at eleven o'clock the next morning； leaving her to guess what about。 It occurred to her； in Trafalgar Square； that she had promised to take tea with the Greysons the next afternoon； to meet some big pot from America。 She would have to get out of that。 She felt it wouldn't do to put off Flossie。
She went to bed wakeful。 It was marvellously like being at school again。 What could Flossie want to see her about that was so important？ She tried to pretend to herself that she didn't know。 After all； perhaps it wasn't that。
But she knew that it was the instant Flossie put up her hands in order to take off her hat。 Flossie always took off her hat when she meant to be unpleasant。 It was her way of pulling up her sleeves。 They had their tea first。 They seemed both agreed that that would be best。 And then Flossie pushed back her chair and sat up。
She had just the head mistress expression。 Joan wasn't quite sure she oughtn't to stand。 But； controlling the instinct； leant back in her chair； and tried to look defiant without feeling it。
〃How far are you going？〃 demanded Flossie。
Joan was not in a comprehending mood。
〃If you're going the whole hog； that's something I can understand；〃 continued Flossie。 〃If not； you'd better pull up。〃
〃What do you mean by the whole hog？〃 requested Joan； assuming dignity。
〃Oh； don't come the kid；〃 advised Flossie。 〃If you don't mind being talked about yourself； you might think of him。 If Carleton gets hold of it； he's done for。〃
〃'A little bird whispers to me that Robert Phillips was seen walking across Richmond Park the other afternoon in company with Miss Joan Allway； formerly one of our contributors。' Is that going to end his political career？〃 retorted Joan with fine sarcasm。
Flossie fixed a relentless eye upon her。 〃He'll wait till the bird has got a bit more than that to whisper to him；〃 she suggested。
〃There'll be nothing more；〃 explained Joan。 〃So long as my friendship is of any assistance to Robert Phillips in his work； he's going to have it。 What use are we going to be in politics what's all the fuss about； if men and women mustn't work together for their common aims and help one another？〃
〃Why can't you help him in his own house； instead of wandering all about the country？〃 Flossie wanted to know。
〃So I do；〃 Joan defended herself。 〃I'm in and out there till I'm sick of the hideous place。 You haven't seen the inside。 And his wife knows all about it； and is only too glad。〃
〃Does she know about Richmond Parkand the other places？〃 asked Flossie。
〃She wouldn't mind if she did；〃 explained Joan。 〃And you know what she's like！ How can one think what one's saying with that silly； goggle…eyed face in front of one always。〃
Flossie； since she had become engaged； had acquired quite a matronly train of thought。 She spoke kindly； with a little grave shake of her head。 〃My dear；〃 she said； 〃the wife is always in the way。 You'd feel just the same whatever her face was like。〃
Joan grew angry。 〃If you choose to suspect evil； of course you can；〃 she answered with hauteur。 〃But you might have known me better。 I admire the man and sympathize with him。 All the things I dream of are the things he is working for。 I can do more good by helping and inspiring him〃she wished she had not let slip that word 〃inspire。〃 She knew that Flossie would fasten upon it〃than I can ever accomplish by myself。 And I mean to do it。〃 She really did feel defiant； now。
〃I know； dear；〃 agreed Flossie； 〃you've both of you made up your minds it shall always remain a beautiful union of twin spirits。 Unfortunately you've both got bodiesrather attractive bodies。〃
〃We'll keep it off that plane； if you don't mind；〃 answered Joan with a touch of severity。
〃I'
