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accomplished by the very offals which fall from a table

moderately plentiful。  That they are enjoyed therefore by so few

arises truly from there being so few who have any such

disposition to gratify; or who aim at any such character。



Wednesday; July 22。This morning; after having been mulcted as

usual; we dispatched a servant with proper acknowledgments of the

lady's goodness; but confined our wants entirely to the

productions of her garden。  He soon returned; in company with the

gardener; both richly laden with almost every particular which a

garden at this most fruitful season of the year produces。  While

we were regaling ourselves with these; towards the close of our

dinner; we received orders from our commander; who had dined that

day with some inferior officers on board a man…of…war; to return

instantly to the ship; for that the wind was become favorable and

he should weigh that evening。  These orders were soon followed by

the captain himself; who was still in the utmost hurry; though

the occasion of it had long since ceased; for the wind had;

indeed; a little shifted that afternoon; but was before this very

quietly set down in its old quarters。



This last was a lucky hit for me; for; as the captain; to whose

orders we resolved to pay no obedience; unless delivered by

himself; did not return till past six; so much time seemed

requisite to put up the furniture of our bed…chamber or

dining…room; for almost every article; even to some of the

chairs; were either our own or the captain's property; so much

more in conveying it as well as myself; as dead a luggage as any;

to the shore; and thence to the ship; that the night threatened

first to overtake us。  A terrible circumstance to me; in my

decayed condition; especially as very heavy showers of rain;

attended with a high wind; continued to fall incessantly; the

being carried through which two miles in the dark; in a wet and

open boat; seemed little less than certain death。  However; as my

commander was absolute; his orders peremptory; and my obedience

necessary; I resolved to avail myself of a philosophy which hath

been of notable use to me in the latter part of my life; and

which is contained in this hemistich of Virgil:



Superanda omnis fortuna ferendo est。



The meaning of which; if Virgil had any; I think I rightly

understood; and rightly applied。  As I was therefore to be

entirely passive in my motion; I resolved to abandon myself to

the conduct of those who were to carry me into a cart when it

returned from unloading the goods。



But before this; the captain; perceiving what had happened in the

clouds; and that the wind remained as much his enemy as ever;

came upstairs to me with a reprieve till the morning。  This was;

I own; very agreeable news; and I little regretted the trouble of

refurnishing my apartment; by sending back for the goods。



Mrs。 Francis was not well pleased with this。



As she understood the reprieve to be only till the morning; she

saw nothing but lodging to be possibly added; out of which she

was to deduct fire and candle; and the remainder; she thought;

would scarce pay her for her trouble。  She exerted therefore all

the ill…humor of which she was mistress; and did all she could to

thwart and perplex everything during the whole evening。



Thursday; July 23。Early in the morning the captain; who had

remained on shore all night; came to visit us; and to press us to

make haste on board。  〃I am resolved;〃 says he; 〃not to lose a

moment now the wind is coming about fair:  for my own part; I

never was surer of a wind in all my life。〃  I use his very words;

nor will I presume to interpret or comment upon them farther than

by observing that they were spoke in the utmost hurry。



We promised to be ready as soon as breakfast was over; but this

was not so soon as was expected; for; in removing our goods the

evening before; the tea…chest was unhappily lost。  Every place

was immediately searched; and many where it was impossible for it

to be; for this was a loss of much greater consequence than it

may at first seem to many of my readers。  Ladies and

valetudinarians do not easily dispense with the use of this

sovereign cordial in a single instance; but to undertake a long

voyage; without any probability of being supplied with it the

whole way; was above the reach of patience。  And yet; dreadful as

this calamity was; it seemed unavoidable。  The whole town of Ryde

could not supply a single leaf; for; as to what Mrs。 Francis and

the shop called by that name; it was not of Chinese growth。  It

did not indeed in the least resemble tea; either in smell or

taste; or in any particular; unless in being a leaf; for it was

in truth no other than a tobacco of the mundungus species。  And

as for the hopes of relief in any other port; they were not to be

depended upon; for the captain had positively declared he was

sure of a wind; and would let go his anchor no more till he

arrived in the Tajo。



When a good deal of time had been spent; most of it indeed wasted

on this occasion; a thought occurred which every one wondered at

its not having presented itself the first moment。  This was to

apply to the good lady; who could not fail of pitying and

relieving such distress。  A messenger was immediately despatched

with an account of our misfortune; till whose return we employed

ourselves in preparatives for our departure; that we might have

nothing to do but to swallow our breakfast when it arrived。  The

tea…chest; though of no less consequence to us than the

military…chest to a general; was given up as lost; or rather as

stolen; for though I would not; for the world; mention any

particular name; it is certain we had suspicions; and all; I am

afraid; fell on the same person。



The man returned from the worthy lady with much expedition; and

brought with him a canister of tea; despatched with so true a

generosity; as well as politeness; that if our voyage had been as

long again we should have incurred no danger of being brought to

a short allowance in this most important article。  At the very

same instant likewise arrived William the footman with our own

tea…chest。  It had been; indeed; left in the hoy; when the other

goods were re…landed; as William; when he first heard it was

missing; had suspected; and whence; had not the owner of the hoy

been unluckily out of the way; he had retrieved it soon enough to

have prevented our giving the lady an opportunity of displaying

some part of her goodness。  To search the hoy was; indeed; too

natural a suggestion to have escaped any one; nor did it escape

being mentioned by many of us; but we were dissuaded from it by

my wife's maid; who perfectly well remembered she had left the

chest in the bed…chamber; for that she had never given it out of

her hand in her way to or from the hoy; but William perhaps knew

the maid better; and best understood how far she was to be

believed; for otherwise he would hardly of his own accord; after

hearing her declaration; have hunted out the hoy…man; with much

pains and difficulty。  Thus ended this scene; which began with

such appearance of distress; and ended with becoming the subject

of mirth and laughter。  Nothing now remained but to pay our

taxes; which were indeed laid with inconceivable severity。

Lodging was raised sixpence; fire in the same proportion; and

even candles; which had hitherto escaped; were charged with a

wantonness of imposition; from the beginning; and placed under

the style of oversight。  We were raised a whole pound; whereas we

had only burned ten; in five nights; and the pound consisted of

twenty…four。



Lastly; an attempt was made which almost as far exceeds human

credulity to believe as it did human patience to submit to。  This

was to make us pay as much for existing an hour or two as for

existing a whole day; and dressing dinner was introduced as an

article; though we left the house before either pot or spit had

approached the fire。  Here I own my patience failed me; and I

became an example of the truth of the observation; 〃That all

tyranny and oppression may be carried too far; and that a yoke

may be made too intolerable for the neck of the tamest slave。〃

When I remonstrated; with some warmth; against this grievance;

Mrs。 Francis gave me a look; and left the room without making any

answer。  She returned in a minute; running to me with pen; ink;

and paper; in her hand; and desired me to make my own bill; 〃for

she hoped;〃 she said 〃I did not expect that her house was to be

dirtied; and her goods spoiled and consumed for nothing。  The

whole is but thirteen shillings。  Can gentlefolks lie a whole

night at a public…house for less?  If they can I am sure it is

time to give off being a landlady:  but pay me what you please; I

would have people know that I value money as little as other

folks。  But I was always a fool; as I says to my husband; and

never know

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