journal of a voyage to lisbon-第16节

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for　then　I　must　describe　a　nonentity；　whereas　I　would　rob　him　of

nothing　but　that　free　agency　which　is　the　cause　of　all　the

corruption　and　of　all　the　misery　of　human　nature。　　No　man；

indeed；　ever　did　more　than　the　farmer；　for　he　was　an　absolute

slave　to　labor　all　the　week；　but　in　truth；　as　my　sagacious　reader

must　have　at　first　apprehended；　when　I　said　he　resigned　the　care

of　the　house　to　his　wife；　I　meant　more　than　I　then　expressed；

even　the　house　and　all　that　belonged　to　it；　for　he　was　really　a

farmer　only　under　the　direction　of　his　wife。　　In　a　word；　so

composed；　so　serene；　so　placid　a　countenance；　I　never　saw；　and　he

satisfied　himself　by　answering　to　every　question　he　was　asked；　〃I

don't　know　anything　about　it；　sir；　I　leaves　all　that　to　my　wife。〃



Now；　as　a　couple　of　this　kind　would；　like　two　vessels　of　oil；

have　made　no　composition　in　life；　and　for　want　of　all　savor　must

have　palled　every　taste；　nature　or　fortune；　or　both　of　them；　took

care　to　provide　a　proper　quantity　of　acid　in　the　materials　that

formed　the　wife；　and　to　render　her　a　perfect　helpmate　for　so

tranquil　a　husband。　　She　abounded　in　whatsoever　he　was　defective；

that　is　to　say；　in　almost　everything。　　She　was　indeed　as　vinegar

to　oil；　or　a　brisk　wind　to　a　standing…pool；　and　preserved　all

from　stagnation　and　corruption。



Quin　the　player；　on　taking　a　nice　and　severe　survey　of　a

fellow…comedian；　burst　forth　into　this　exclamation：〃If　that

fellow　be　not　a　rogue；　God　Almighty　doth　not　write　a　legible　hand。〃



Whether　he　guessed　right　or　no　is　not　worth　my　while　to　examine；

certain　it　is　that　the　latter；　having　wrought　his　features　into　a

proper　harmony　to　become　the　characters　of　Iago；　Shylock；　and

others　of　the　same　cast；　gave　us　a　semblance　of　truth　to　the

observation　that　was　sufficient　to　confirm　the　wit　of　it。

Indeed；　we　may　remark；　in　favor　of　the　physiognomist；　though　the

law　has　made　him　a　rogue　and　vagabond；　that　Nature　is　seldom

curious　in　her　works　within；　without　employing　some　little　pains

on　the　outside；　and　this　more　particularly　in　mischievous

characters；　in　forming　which；　as　Mr。　Derham　observes；　in　venomous

insects；　as　the　sting　or　saw　of　a　wasp；　she　is　sometimes

wonderfully　industrious。　　Now；　when　she　hath　thus　completely

armed　our　hero　to　carry　on　a　war　with　man；　she　never　fails　of

furnishing　that　innocent　lambkin　with　some　means　of　knowing　his

enemy；　and　foreseeing　his　designs。　　Thus　she　hath　been　observed

to　act　in　the　case　of　a　rattlesnake；　which　never　meditates　a

human　prey　without　giving　warning　of　his　approach。　　This

observation　will；　I　am　convinced；　hold　most　true；　if　applied　to

the　most　venomous　individuals　of　human　insects。　　A　tyrant；　a

trickster；　and　a　bully；　generally　wear　the　marks　of　their　several

dispositions　in　their　countenances；　so　do　the　vixen；　the　shrew；

the　scold；　and　all　other　females　of　the　like　kind。　　But；　perhaps；

nature　hath　never　afforded　a　stronger　example　of　all　this　than　in

the　case　of　Mrs。　Francis。　　She　was　a　short；　squat　woman；　her　head

was　closely　joined　to　her　shoulders；　where　it　was　fixed　somewhat

awry；　every　feature　of　her　countenance　was　sharp　and　pointed；　her

face　was　furrowed　with　the　smallpox；　and　her　complexion；　which

seemed　to　be　able　to　turn　milk　to　curds；　not　a　little　resembled

in　color　such　milk　as　had　already　undergone　that　operation。　　She

appeared；　indeed；　to　have　many　symptoms　of　a　deep　jaundice　in　her

look；　but　the　strength　and　firmness　of　her　voice　overbalanced

them　all；　the　tone　of　this　was　a　sharp　treble　at　a　distance；　for

I　seldom　heard　it　on　the　same　floor；　but　was　usually　waked　with

it　in　the　morning；　and　entertained　with　it　almost　continually

through　the　whole　day。



Though　vocal　be　usually　put　in　opposition　to　instrumental　music；

I　question　whether　this　might　not　be　thought　to　partake　of　the

nature　of　both；　for　she　played　on　two　instruments；　which　she

seemed　to　keep　for　no　other　use　from　morning　till　night；　these

were　two　maids；　or　rather　scolding…stocks；　who；　I　suppose；　by

some　means　or　other；　earned　their　board；　and　she　gave　them　their

lodging　gratis；　or　for　no　other　service　than　to　keep　her　lungs　in

constant　exercise。



She　differed；　as　I　have　said；　in　every　particular　from　her

husband；　but　very　remarkably　in　this；　that；　as　it　was　impossible

to　displease　him；　so　it　was　as　impossible　to　please　her；　and　as

no　art　could　remove　a　smile　from　his　countenance；　so　could　no　art

carry　it　into　hers。　　If　her　bills　were　remonstrated　against　she

was　offended　with　the　tacit　censure　of　her　fair…dealing；　if　they

were　not；　she　seemed　to　regard　it　as　a　tacit　sarcasm　on　her

folly；　which　might　have　set　down　larger　prices　with　the　same

success。　　On　this　lather　hint　she　did　indeed　improve；　for　she

daily　raised　some　of　her　articles。　　A　pennyworth　of　fire　was

to…day　rated　at　a　shilling；　to…morrow　at　eighteen…pence；　and　if

she　dressed　us　two　dishes　for　two　shillings　on　the　Saturday；　we

paid　half…a…crown　for　the　cookery　of　one　on　the　Sunday；　and；

whenever　she　was　paid；　she　never　left　the　room　without　lamenting

the　small　amount　of　her　bill；　saying；　〃she　knew　not　how　it　was

that　others　got　their　money　by　gentle…folks；　but　for　her　part　she

had　not　the　art　of　it。〃　　When　she　was　asked　why　she　complained；

when　she　was　paid　all　she　demanded；　she　answered；　〃she　could　not

deny　that；　nor　did　she　know　she　had　omitted　anything；　but　that　it

was　but　a　poor　bill　for　gentle…folks　to　pay。〃　　I　accounted　for

all　this　by　her　having　heard；　that　it　is　a　maxim　with　the

principal　　inn…holders　on　the　continent；　to　levy　considerable

sums　on　their　guests；　who　travel　with　many　horses　and　servants；

though　such　guests　should　eat　little　or　nothing　in　their　houses；

the　method　being；　I　believe；　in　such　cases；　to　lay　a　capitation

on　the　horses；　and　not　on　their　masters。　　But　she　did　not

consider　that　in　most　of　these　inns　a　very　great　degree　of

hunger；　without　any　degree　of　delicacy；　may　be　satisfied；　and

that　in　all　such　inns　there　is　some　appearance；　at　least；　of

provision；　as　well　as　of　a　man…cook　to　dress　it；　one　of　the

hostlers　being　always　furnished　with　a　cook's　cap；　waistcoat；　and

apron；　ready　to　attend　gentlemen　and　ladies　on　their　summons；

that　the　case　therefore　of　such　inns　differed　from　hers；　where

there　was　nothing　to　eat　or　to　drink；　and　in　reality　no　house　to

inhabit；　no　chair　to　sit　upon；　nor　any　bed　to　lie　in；　that　one

third　or　fourth　part　therefore　of　the　levy　imposed　at　inns　was；

in　truth；　a　higher　tax　than　the　whole　was　when　laid　on　in　the

other；　where；　in　order　to　raise　a　small　sum；　a　man　is　obliged　to

submit　to　pay　as　many　various　ways　for　the　same　thing　as　he　doth

to　the　government　for　the　light　which　enters　through　his　own

window　into　his　own　house；　from　his　own　estate；　such　are　the

articles　of　bread　and　beer；　firing；　eating　and　dressing　dinner。



The　foregoing　is　a　very　imperfect　sketch　of　this　extraordinary

couple；　for　everything　is　here　lowered　instead　of　being

heightened。　　Those　who　would　see　them　set　forth　in　more　lively

colors；　and　with　the　proper　ornaments；　may　read　the　descriptions

of　the　Furies　in　some　of　the　classical　poets；　or　of　the　Stoic

philosophers　in　the　works　of　Lucian。



Monday；　July　20。This　day　nothing　remarkable　passed；　Mrs。

Francis　levied　a　tax　of　fourteen　shillings　for　the　Sunday。　　We

regaled　ourselves　at　dinner　with　venison　and　good　claret　of　our

own；　and　in　the　afternoon；　the　women；　attended　by　the　captain；

walked　to　see　a　delightful　scene　two　miles　distant；　with　the

beauties　of　which　they　declared　themselves　most　highly　charmed　at

their　return；　as　well　as　with　the　goodness　of　the　lady　of　the

mansion；　who　had　slipped　out　of　the　way　that　my　wife　and　their

company　might　refresh　themselves　with　the　flowers　and　fruits　with

which　her　garden　abounded。



Tuesday；　July　21。This　day；　having　paid　our　taxes　of　yesterday；

we　were　permitted　to　regale　ourselves　with　more　venison。　　Some　of

this　we　would　willingly　have　exchanged　for　mutton；　but　no　such

flesh　was　to　be　had　nearer　than　Portsmouth；　from　whence　it　would

have　cost　more　to　convey　a　joint　to　us　than　the　freight　of　a

Portugal　ham　from　Lisbon　to　London　amounts　to；　for　though　the

water…carriage　be　somewhat　cheaper　here　than　at　Deal；　yet　can　you

find　no　waterman　who　will　go　on　board　his　boat；　unless　by　two　or

three　hours'　rowing　he　can　get　drunk　for　the　residue　of　the　week。



And　here　I　have　an　opportunity；　which　possibly　may　not　offer

again；　of　publishing　some　observations　on　that　political　economy

of　this　nation；　which；　as　it　concerns　only　the　regulation　of　the

mob；　is　below　the　notice　of　our　great　men；　though　on　the　due

regulation　of　this　order　depend　many　emoluments；　which　the　great

men　themselves；　or　at　least　many　who　tread　close　on　their　heels；

may　enjoy；　as　well　as　some　dangers　which　may　some　time　or　other

arise　from　introducing　a　pure　state　of　anarchy　among　them。　　I

will　represent　the　case；　as　it　appears　to　me；　very　fairly　and