memoir of fleeming jenkin-第34节
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ville de Paris; dont je faisais partie。 Jenkin me rejoignit。 Je
le fis entendre par mes collegues; car il etait fondateur d'une
societe de salubrite。 Il eut un grand succes parmi nous。 Mais ce
voyaye me restera toujours en memoire parce que c'est la que se
fixa defenitivement notre forte amitie。 Il m'invita un jour a
diner a son club et au moment de me faire asseoir a cote de lui; il
me retint et me dit: 'Je voudrais vous demander de m'accorder
quelque chose。 C'est mon sentiment que nos relations ne peuvent
pas se bien continuer si vous ne me donnez pas la permission de
vous tutoyer。 Voulez…vous que nous nous tutoyions?' Je lui pris
les mains et je lui dis qu'une pareille proposition venant d'un
Anglais; et d'un Anglais de sa haute distinction; c'etait une
victoire; dont je serais fier toute ma vie。 Et nous commencions a
user de cette nouvelle forme dans nos rapports。 Vous savez avec
quelle finesse il parlait le francais: comme il en connaissait
tous les tours; comme il jouait avec ses difficultes; et meme avec
ses petites gamineries。 Je crois qu'il a ete heureux de pratiquer
avec moi ce tutoiement; qui ne s'adapte pas a l'anglais; et qui est
si francais。 Je ne puis vous peindre l'etendue et la variete de
nos conversations de la soiree。 Mais ce que je puis vous dire;
c'est que; sous la caresse du TU; nos idees se sont elevees。 Nous
avions toujours beaucoup ri ensemble; mais nous n'avions jamais
laisse des banalites s'introduire dans nos echanges de pensees。 Ce
soir…la; notre horizon intellectual s'est elargie; et nous y avons
pousse des reconnaissances profondes et lointaines。 Apres avoir
vivement cause a table; nous avons longuement cause au salon; et
nous nous separions le soir a Trafalgar Square; apres avoir longe
les trotters; stationne aux coins des rues et deux fois rebrousse
chemie en nous reconduisant l'un l'autre。 Il etait pres d'une
heure du matin! Mais quelle belle passe d'argumentation; quels
beaux echanges de sentiments; quelles fortes confidences
patriotiques nous avions fournies! J'ai compris ce soir la que
Jenkin ne detestait pas la France; et je lui serrai fort les mains
en l'embrassant。 Nous nous quittions aussi amis qu'on puisse
l'etre; et notre affection s'etait par lui etendue et comprise dans
un TU francais。
CHAPTER VII。 1875…1885。
Mr Jenkin's Illness … Captain Jenkin … The Golden Wedding … Death
of Uncle John … Death of Mr。 and Mrs。 Austin … Illness and Death of
the Captain … Death of Mrs。 Jenkin … Effect on Fleeming …
Telpherage … The End。
AND now I must resume my narrative for that melancholy business
that concludes all human histories。 In January of the year 1875;
while Fleeming's sky was still unclouded; he was reading Smiles。
'I read my engineers' lives steadily;' he writes; 'but find
biographies depressing。 I suspect one reason to be that
misfortunes and trials can be graphically described; but happiness
and the causes of happiness either cannot be or are not。 A grand
new branch of literature opens to my view: a drama in which people
begin in a poor way and end; after getting gradually happier; in an
ecstasy of enjoyment。 The common novel is not the thing at all。
It gives struggle followed by relief。 I want each act to close on
a new and triumphant happiness; which has been steadily growing all
the while。 This is the real antithesis of tragedy; where things
get blacker and blacker and end in hopeless woe。 Smiles has not
grasped my grand idea; and only shows a bitter struggle followed by
a little respite before death。 Some feeble critic might say my new
idea was not true to nature。 I'm sick of this old…fashioned notion
of art。 Hold a mirror up; indeed! Let's paint a picture of how
things ought to be and hold that up to nature; and perhaps the poor
old woman may repent and mend her ways。' The 'grand idea' might be
possible in art; not even the ingenuity of nature could so round in
the actual life of any man。 And yet it might almost seem to fancy
that she had read the letter and taken the hint; for to Fleeming
the cruelties of fate were strangely blended with tenderness; and
when death came; it came harshly to others; to him not unkindly。
In the autumn of that same year 1875; Fleeming's father and mother
were walking in the garden of their house at Merchiston; when the
latter fell to the ground。 It was thought at the time to be a
stumble; it was in all likelihood a premonitory stroke of palsy。
From that day; there fell upon her an abiding panic fear; that
glib; superficial part of us that speaks and reasons could allege
no cause; science itself could find no mark of danger; a son's
solicitude was laid at rest; but the eyes of the body saw the
approach of a blow; and the consciousness of the body trembled at
its coming。 It came in a moment; the brilliant; spirited old lady
leapt from her bed; raving。 For about six months; this stage of
her disease continued with many painful and many pathetic
circumstances; her husband who tended her; her son who was
unwearied in his visits; looked for no change in her condition but
the change that comes to all。 'Poor mother;' I find Fleeming
writing; 'I cannot get the tones of her voice out of my head。 。 。 I
may have to bear this pain for a long time; and so I am bearing it
and sparing myself whatever pain seems useless。 Mercifully I do
sleep; I am so weary that I must sleep。' And again later: 'I
could do very well; if my mind did not revert to my poor mother's
state whenever I stop attending to matters immediately before me。'
And the next day: 'I can never feel a moment's pleasure without
having my mother's suffering recalled by the very feeling of
happiness。 A pretty; young face recalls hers by contrast … a
careworn face recalls it by association。 I tell you; for I can
speak to no one else; but do not suppose that I wilfully let my
mind dwell on sorrow。'
In the summer of the next year; the frenzy left her; it left her
stone deaf and almost entirely aphasic; but with some remains of
her old sense and courage。 Stoutly she set to work with
dictionaries; to recover her lost tongues; and had already made
notable progress; when a third stroke scattered her acquisitions。
Thenceforth; for nearly ten years; stroke followed upon stroke;
each still further jumbling the threads of her intelligence; but by
degrees so gradual and with such partiality of loss and of
survival; that her precise state was always and to the end a matter
of dispute。 She still remembered her friends; she still loved to
learn news of them upon the slate; she still read and marked the
list of the subscription library; she still took an interest in the
choice of a play for the theatricals; and could remember and find
parallel passages; but alongside of these surviving powers; were
lapses as remarkable; she misbehaved like a child; and a servant
had to sit with her at table。 To see her so sitting; speaking with
the tones of a deaf mute not always to the purpose; and to remember
what she had been; was a moving appeal to all who knew her。 Such
was the pathos of these two old people in their affliction; that
even the reserve of cities was melted and the neighbours vied in
sympathy and kindness。 Where so many were more than usually
helpful; it is hard to draw distinctions; but I am directed and I
delight to mention in particular the good Dr。 Joseph Bell; Mr。
Thomas; and Mr。 Archibald Constable with both their wives; the Rev。
Mr。 Belcombe (of whose good heart and taste I do not hear for the
first time … the news had come to me by way of the Infirmary); and
their next…door neighbour; unwearied in service; Miss Hannah Mayne。
Nor should I omit to mention that John Ruffini continued to write
to Mrs。 Jenkin till his own death; and the clever lady known to the
world as Vernon Lee until the end: a touching; a becoming
attention to what was only the wreck and survival of their
brilliant friend。
But he to whom this affliction brought the greatest change was the
Captain himself。 What was bitter in his lot; he bore with unshaken
courage; only once; in these ten years of trial; has Mrs。 Fleeming
Jenkin seen him weep; for the rest of the time his wife … his
commanding officer; now become his trying child … was served not
with patience alone; but with a lovely happiness of temper。 He had
belonged all his life to the ancient; formal; speechmaking;
compliment…presenting school of courtesy; the dictates of this code
partook in his eyes of the nature of a duty; and he must now be
courteous for two。 Partly from a happy illusion; partly in a
tender fraud; he kept his wife before the world as a still active
partner。 When he paid a call; he would have her write 'with love'
upon a card; or if that (at the moment)