lecture08-第6节
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in grossest superstition？ It is impossiblebut yet their life！
their life！ It is normal。 It is happy！ It is an answer to the
question！
Little by little； Tolstoy came to the settled convictionhe says
it took him two years to arrive therethat his trouble had not
been with life in general； not with the common life of common
men； but with the life of the upper； intellectual； artistic
classes； the life which he had personally always led； the
cerebral life； the life of conventionality； artificiality； and
personal ambition。 He had been living wrongly and must change。
To work for animal needs； to abjure lies and vanities； to relieve
common wants； to be simple； to believe in God； therein lay
happiness again。
〃I remember；〃 he says； 〃one day in early spring； I was alone in
the forest； lending my ear to its mysterious noises。 I listened；
and my thought went back to what for these three years it always
was busy withthe quest of God。 But the idea of him； I said；
how did I ever come by the idea？
〃And again there arose in me； with this thought； glad aspirations
towards life。 Everything in me awoke and received a meaning。 。
。 。Why do I look farther？ a voice within me asked。 He is there：
he； without whom one cannot live。 To acknowledge God and to live
are one and the same thing。 God is what life is。 Well； then！
live； seek God； and there will be no life without him。 。 。 。
〃After this； things cleared up within me and about me better than
ever； and the light has never wholly died away。 I was saved from
suicide。 Just how or when the change took place I cannot tell。
But as insensibly and gradually as the force of life had been
annulled within me； and I had reached my moral death…bed； just as
gradually and imperceptibly did the energy of life come back。
And what was strange was that this energy that came back was
nothing new。 It was my ancient juvenile force of faith； the
belief that the sole purpose of my life was to be BETTER。 I
gave up the life of the conventional world； recognizing it to be
no life； but a parody on life； which its superfluities simply
keep us from comprehending；〃and Tolstoy thereupon embraced the
life of the peasants； and has felt right and happy； or at least
relatively so； ever since。＇96＇
＇96＇ I have considerably abridged Tolstoy's words in my
translation。
As I interpret his melancholy； then； it was not merely an
accidental vitiation of his humors； though it was doubtless also
that。 It was logically called for by the clash between his inner
character and his outer activities and aims。 Although a literary
artist； Tolstoy was one of those primitive oaks of men to whom
the superfluities and insincerities； the cupidities；
complications； and cruelties of our polite civilization are
profoundly unsatisfying； and for whom the eternal veracities lie
with more natural and animal things。 His crisis was the getting
of his soul in order； the discovery of its genuine habitat and
vocation； the escape from falsehoods into what for him were ways
of truth。 It was a case of heterogeneous personality tardily and
slowly finding its unity and level。 And though not many of us can
imitate Tolstoy； not having enough； perhaps； of the aboriginal
human marrow in our bones； most of us may at least feel as if it
might be better for us if we could。
Bunyan's recovery seems to have been even slower。 For years
together he was alternately haunted with texts of Scripture； now
up and now down； but at last with an ever growing relief in his
salvation through the blood of Christ。
〃My peace would be in and out twenty times a day； comfort now and
trouble presently； peace now and before I could go a furlong as
full of guilt and fear as ever heart could hold。〃 When a good
text comes home to him； 〃This；〃 he writes； 〃gave me good
encouragement for the space of two or three hours〃； or 〃This was
a good day to me； I hope I shall not forget it〃； or 〃The glory of
these words was then so weighty on me that I was ready to swoon
as I sat； yet； not with grief and trouble； but with solid joy and
peace〃； or 〃This made a strange seizure on my spirit； it brought
light with it； and commanded a silence in my heart of all those
tumultuous thoughts that before did use； like masterless
hell…hounds； to roar and bellow and make a hideous noise within
me。 It showed me that Jesus Christ had not quite forsaken and
cast off my Soul。〃
Such periods accumulate until he can write： 〃And now remained
only the hinder part of the tempest； for the thunder was gone
beyond me； only some drops would still remain； that now and then
would fall upon me〃；and at last： 〃Now did my chains fall off
my legs indeed； I was loosed from my afflictions and irons； my
temptations also fled away； so that from that time； those
dreadful Scriptures of God left off to trouble me； now went I
also home rejoicing； for the grace and love of God。 。 。 。 Now
could I see myself in Heaven and Earth at once； in Heaven by my
Christ； by my Head； by my Righteousness and Life； though on
Earth by my body or person。 。 。 。 Christ was a precious Christ
to my soul that night； I could scarce lie in my bed for joy and
peace and triumph through Christ。〃
Bunyan became a minister of the gospel； and in spite of his
neurotic constitution； and of the twelve years he lay in prison
for his non…conformity； his life was turned to active use。 He
was a peacemaker and doer of good； and the immortal Allegory
which he wrote has brought the very spirit of religious patience
home to English hearts。
But neither Bunyan nor Tolstoy could become what we have called
healthy…minded。 They had drunk too deeply of the cup of
bitterness ever to forget its taste； and their redemption is into
a universe two stories deep。 Each of them realized a good which
broke the effective edge of his sadness； yet the sadness was
preserved as a minor ingredient in the heart of the faith by
which it was overcome。 The fact of interest for us is that as a
matter of fact they could and did find SOMETHING welling up in
the inner reaches of their consciousness； by which such extreme
sadness could be overcome。 Tolstoy does well to talk of it as
THAT BY WHICH MEN LIVE； for that is exactly what it is； a
stimulus； an excitement； a faith； a force that re…infuses the
positive willingness to live； even in full presence of the evil
perceptions that erewhile made life seem unbearable。 For
Tolstoy's perceptions of evil appear within their sphere to have
remained unmodified。 His later works show him implacable to the
whole system of official values： the ignobility of fashionable
life； the infamies of empire； the spuriousness of the church； the
vain conceit of the professions； the meannesses and cruelties
that go with great success； and every other pompous crime and
lying institution of this world。 To all patience with such
things his experience has been for him a perroanent ministry of
death。
Bunyan also leaves this world to the enemy。
〃I must first pass a sentence of death；〃 he says； 〃upon
everything that can properly be called a thing of this life； even
to reckon myself； my wife； my children； my health； my enjoyments；
and all； as dead to me； and myself as dead to them； to trust in
God through Christ； as touching the world to come； and as
touching this world； to count the grave my house； to make my bed
in darkness； and to say to corruption； Thou art my father and to
the worm； Thou art my mother and sister。 。 。 。 The parting with
my wife and my poor children hath often been to me as the pulling
of my flesh from my bones； especially my poor blind child who lay
nearer my heart than all I had besides。 Poor child； thought I；
what sorrow art thou like to have for thy portion in this world！
Thou must be beaten； must beg； suffer hunger； cold； nakedness；
and a thousand calamities； though I cannot now endure that the
wind should blow upon thee。 But yet I must venture you all with
God； though it goeth to the quick to leave you。〃＇97＇
＇97＇ In my quotations from Bunyan I have omitted certain
intervening portions of the text。
The 〃hue of resolution〃 is there； but the full flood of ecstatic
liberation seems never to have poured over poor John Bunyan's
soul。
These examples may
