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connects itself with the life of the subconscious self;



so…called; of which we must erelong speak more directly。







'90' Smith Baker; in Journal of Nervous and Mental Diseases;



September; 1893。















Now in all of us; however constituted; but to a degree the



greater in proportion as we are intense and sensitive and subject



to diversified temptations; and to the greatest possible degree



if we are decidedly psychopathic; does the normal evolution of



character chiefly consist in the straightening out and unifying



of the inner self。  The higher and the lower feelings; the useful



and the erring impulses; begin by being a comparative chaos



within usthey must end by forming a stable system of functions



in right subordination。  Unhappiness is apt to characterize the



period of order…making and struggle。  If the individual be of



tender conscience and religiously quickened; the unhappiness will



take the form of moral remorse and compunction; of feeling



inwardly vile and wrong; and of standing in false relations to



the author of one's being and appointer of one's spiritual fate。 



This is the religious melancholy and 〃conviction of sin〃 that



have played so large a part in the history of Protestant



Christianity。  The man's interior is a battle…ground for what he



feels to be two deadly hostile selves; one actual; the other



ideal。  As Victor Hugo makes his Mahomet say:







     〃Je suis le champ vil des sublimes combats:



     Tantot l'homme d'en haut; et tantot l'homme d'en bas;



     Et le mal dans ma bouche avec le bien alterne;



     Comme dans le desert le sable et la citerne。〃







Wrong living; impotent aspirations; 〃What I would; that do I not;



but what I hate; that do I;〃 as Saint Paul says; self…loathing;



self…despair; an unintelligible and intolerable burden to which



one is mysteriously the heir。







Let me quote from some typical cases of discordant personality;



with melancholy in the form of self…condemnation and sense of



sin。  Saint Augustine's case is a classic example。  You all



remember his half…pagan; half…Christian bringing up at Carthage;



his emigration to Rome and Milan; his adoption of Manicheism and



subsequent skepticism; and his restless search for truth and



purity of life; and finally how; distracted by the struggle



between the two souls in his breast and ashamed of his own



weakness of will; when so many others whom he knew and knew of



had thrown off the shackles of sensuality and dedicated



themselves to chastity and the higher life; he heard a voice in



the garden say; 〃Sume; lege〃 (take and read); and opening the



Bible at random; saw the text; 〃not in chambering and



wantonness;〃 etc。; which seemed directly sent to his address; and



laid the inner storm to rest forever。'91' Augustine's



psychological genius has given an account of the trouble of



having a divided self which has never been surpassed。







'91' Louis Gourdon (Essai sur la Conversion de Saint Augustine;



Paris; Fischbacher; 1900) has shown by an analysis of Augustine's



writings immediately after the date of his conversion (A。 D。 386)



that the account he gives in the Confessions is premature。  The



crisis in the garden marked a definitive conversion from his



former life; but it was to the neo…platonic spiritualism and only



a halfway stage toward Christianity。  The latter he appears not



fully and radically to have embraced until four years more had



passed。















〃The new will which I began to have was not yet strong enough to



overcome that other will; strengthened by long indulgence。 So



these two wills; one old; one new; one carnal; the other



spiritual; contended with each other and disturbed my soul。  I



understood by my own experience what I had read; 'flesh lusteth



against spirit; and spirit against flesh。' It was myself indeed



in both the wills; yet more myself in that which I approved in



myself than in that which I disapproved in myself。  Yet it was



through myself that habit had attained so fierce a mastery over



me; because I had willingly come whither I willed not。  Still



bound to earth; I refused; O God; to fight on thy side; as much



afraid to be freed from all bonds; as I ought to have feared



being trammeled by them。







〃Thus the thoughts by which I meditated upon thee were like the



efforts of one who would awake; but being overpowered with



sleepiness is soon asleep again。  Often does a man when heavy



sleepiness is on his limbs defer to shake it off; and though not



approving it; encourage it; even so I was sure it was better to



surrender to thy love than to yield to my own lusts; yet though



the former course convinced me; the latter pleased and held me



bound。  There was naught in me to answer thy call 'Awake; thou



sleeper;' but only drawling; drowsy words; 'Presently; yes;



presently; wait a little while。'  But the 'presently' had no



'present;' and the 'little while' grew long。 。 。 。  For I was



afraid thou wouldst hear me too soon; and heal me at once of my



disease of lust; which I wished to satiate rather than to see



extinguished。  With what lashes of words did I not scourge my own



soul。  Yet it shrank back; it refused; though it had no excuse to



offer。 。 。 。 I said within myself:  'Come; let it be done now;'



and as I said it; I was on the point of the resolve。  I all but



did it; yet I did not do it。  And I made another effort; and



almost succeeded; yet I did not reach it; and did not grasp it;



hesitating to die to death; and live to life; and the evil to



which I was so wonted held me more than the better life I had not



tried。〃'92'







'92' Confessions; Book VIII。; Chaps。 v。; vii。; xi。; abridged。















There could be no more perfect description of the divided will;



when the higher wishes lack just that last acuteness; that touch



of explosive intensity; of dynamogenic quality (to use the slang



of the psychologists); that enables them to burst their shell;



and make irruption efficaciously into life and quell the lower



tendencies forever。  In a later lecture we shall have much to say



about this higher excitability。







I find another good description of the divided will in the



autobiography of Henry Alline; the Nova Scotian evangelist; of



whose melancholy I read a brief account in my last lecture。  The



poor youth's sins were; as you will see; of the most harmless



order; yet they interfered with what proved to be his truest



vocation; so they gave him great distress。







〃I was now very moral in my life; but found no rest of



conscience。  I now began to be esteemed in young company; who



knew nothing of my mind all this while; and their esteem began to



be a snare to my soul; for I soon began to be fond of carnal



mirth; though I still flattered myself that if I did not get



drunk; nor curse; nor swear; there would be no sin in frolicking



and carnal mirth; and I thought God would indulge young people



with some (what I called simple or civil) recreation。  I still



kept a round of duties; and would not suffer myself to run into



any open vices; and so got along very well in time of health and



prosperity; but when I was distressed or threatened by sickness;



death; or heavy storms of thunder; my religion would not do; and



I found there was something wanting; and would begin to repent my



going so much to frolics; but when the distress was over; the



devil and my own wicked heart; with the solicitations of my



associates; and my fondness for young company; were such strong



allurements; I would again give way; and thus I got to be very



wild and rude; at the same time kept up my rounds of secret



prayer and reading; but God; not willing I should destroy myself;



still followed me with his calls; and moved with such power upon



my conscience; that I could not satisfy myself with my



diversions; and in the midst of my mirth sometimes would have



such a sense of my lost and undone condition; that I would wish



myself from the company; and after it was over; when I went home;



would make many promises that I would attend no more on these



frolics; and would beg forgiveness for hours and hours; but when



I came to have the temptation again; I would give way:  no



sooner would I hear the music and drink a glass of wine; but I



would find my mind elevated and soon proceed to any sort of



merriment or diversion; that I thought was not debauched or



openly vicious; but when I returned 

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