sense and sensibility(理智与情感)-第69节
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event really was； though she earnestly tried to drive away the
notion of its being possible to end otherwise at last； than in the
marriage of Edward and Lucy。 What Mrs。 Ferrars would say and
do； though there could not be a doubt of its nature； she was
anxious to hear； and still more anxious to know how Edward
would conduct himself。 For him she felt much compassion；—for
Lucy very little—and it cost her some pains to procure that little；—
for the rest of the party none at all。
As Mrs。 Jennings could talk on no other subject； Elinor soon
saw the necessity of preparing Marianne for its discussion。 No
time was to be lost in undeceiving her； in making her acquainted
with the real truth； and in endeavouring to bring her to hear it
talked of by others； without betraying that she felt any uneasiness
for her sister； or any resentment against Edward。
Elinor’s office was a painful one。—She was going to remove
what she really believed to be her sister’s chief consolation；—to
give such particulars of Edward as she feared would ruin him for
ever in her good opinion；—and to make Marianne； by a
resemblance in their situations； which to her fancy would seem
strong； feel all her own disappointment over again。 But
unwelcome as such a task must be； it was necessary to be done；
and Elinor therefore hastened to perform it。
She was very far from wishing to dwell on her own feelings； or
to represent herself as suffering much； any otherwise than as the
self…command she had practised since her first knowledge of
Edward’s engagement； might suggest a hint of what was
practicable to Marianne。 Her narration was clear and simple； and
though it could not be given without emotion； it was not
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accompanied by violent agitation； nor impetuous grief。—That
belonged rather to the hearer； for Marianne listened with horror；
and cried excessively。 Elinor was to be the comforter of others in
her own distresses； no less than in theirs； and all the comfort that
could be given by assurances of her own composure of mind； and a
very earnest vindication of Edward from every charge but of
imprudence； was readily offered。
But Marianne for some time would give credit to neither。
Edward seemed a second Willoughby； and acknowledging as
Elinor did； that she had loved him most sincerely； could she feel
less than herself！ As for Lucy Steele； she considered her so totally
unamiable； so absolutely incapable of attaching a sensible man；
that she could not be persuaded at first to believe； and afterwards
to pardon； any former affection of Edward for her。 She would not
even admit it to have been natural； and Elinor left her to be
convinced that it was so； by that which only could convince her； a
better knowledge of mankind。
Her first communication had reached no farther than to state
the fact of the engagement； and the length of time it had existed。—
Marianne’s feelings had then broken in； and put an end to all
regularity of detail； and for some time all that could be done was to
soothe her distress； lessen her alarms； and combat her
resentment。 The first question on her side； which led to farther
particulars； was；
“How long has this been known to you； Elinor？ has he written
to you？”
“I have known it these four months。 When Lucy first came to
Barton Park last November； she told me in confidence of her
engagement。”
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At these words； Marianne’s eyes expressed the astonishment
which her lips could not utter。 After a pause of wonder； she
exclaimed—
“Four months！—Have you known of this four months？”
Elinor confirmed it。
“What！—while attending me in all my misery； has this been on
your heart？—And I have reproached you for being happy！”—
“It was not fit that you should then know how much I was the
reverse！”
“Four months！”—cried Marianne again。—“So calm！—so
cheerful！—how have you been supported？”—
“By feeling that I was doing my duty。—My promise to Lucy；
obliged me to be secret。 I owed it to her； therefore； to avoid giving
any hint of the truth； and I owed it to my family and friends； not to
create in them a solicitude about me； which it could not be in my
power to satisfy。”
Marianne seemed much struck。
“I have very often wished to undeceive yourself and my
mother；” added Elinor； “and once or twice I have attempted it；—
but without betraying my trust； I never could have convinced
you。”
“Four months！—and yet you loved him！”—
“Yes。 But I did not love only him；—and while the comfort of
others was dear to me； I was glad to spare them from knowing how
much I felt。 Now； I can think and speak of it with little emotion。 I
would not have you suffer on my account； for I assure you I no
longer suffer materially myself。 I have many things to support me。
I am not conscious of having provoked the disappointment by any
imprudence of my own； I have borne it as much as possible
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without spreading it farther。 I acquit Edward of essential
misconduct。 I wish him very happy； and I am so sure of his always
doing his duty； that though now he may harbour some regret； in
the end he must become so。 Lucy does not want sense； and that is
the foundation on which every thing good may be built。—And
after all； Marianne； after all that is bewitching in the idea of a
single and constant attachment； and all that can be said of one’s
happiness depending entirely on any particular person； it is not
meant—it is not fit—it is not possible that it should be so。—
Edward will marry Lucy； he will marry a woman superior in
person and understanding to half her sex； and time and habit will
teach him to forget that he ever thought another superior to
her。”—
“If such is your way of thinking；” said Marianne； “if the loss of
what is most valued is so easily to be made up by something else；
your resolution； your self…command； are； perhaps； a little less to be
wondered at。—They are brought more within my
comprehension。”
“I understand you。—You do not suppose that I have ever felt
much。—For four months； Marianne； I have had all this hanging on
my mind； without being at liberty to speak of it to a single
creature； knowing that it would make you and my mother most
unhappy whenever it were explained to you； yet unable to prepare
you for it in the least。—It was told me；—it was in a manner forced
on me by the very person herself； whose prior engagement ruined
all my prospects； and told me； as I thought； with triumph。—This
person’s suspicions； therefore； I have had to oppose； by
endeavouring to appear indifferent where I have been most deeply
interested；—and it has not been only once；—I have had her hopes
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and exultation to listen to again and again。—I have known myself
to be divided from Edward for ever； without hearing one
circumstance that
