sense and sensibility(理智与情感)-第56节
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with an affection for him so strong； still as strong as her own； and
with a mind tormented by self…reproach； which must attend her
through life。 Surely this comparison must have its use with her。
She will feel her own sufferings to be nothing。 They proceed from
no misconduct； and can bring no disgrace。 On the contrary； every
friend must be made still more her friend by them。 Concern for
her unhappiness； and respect for her fortitude under it； must
strengthen every attachment。 Use your own discretion； however；
in communicating to her what I have told you。 You must know
best what will be its effect； but had I not seriously； and from my
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heart believed it might be of service； might lessen her regrets； I
would not have suffered myself to trouble you with this account of
my family afflictions； with a recital which may seem to have been
intended to raise myself at the expense of others。”
Elinor’s thanks followed this speech with grateful earnestness；
attended too with the assurance of her expecting material
advantage to Marianne； from the communication of what had
passed。
“I have been more pained；” said she； “by her endeavours to
acquit him than by all the rest； for it irritates her mind more than
the most perfect conviction of his unworthiness can do。 Now；
though at first she will suffer much； I am sure she will soon
become easier。 Have you；” she continued； after a short silence；
“ever seen Mr。 Willoughby since you left him at Barton？”
“Yes；” he replied gravely； “once I have。 One meeting was
unavoidable。”
Elinor； startled by his manner； looked at him anxiously； saying；
“What？ have you met him to—”
“I could meet him no other way。 Eliza had confessed to me；
though most reluctantly； the name of her lover； and when he
returned to town； which was within a fortnight after myself； we
met by appointment； he to defend； I to punish his conduct。 We
returned unwounded； and the meeting； therefore； never got
abroad。”
Elinor sighed over the fancied necessity of this； but to a man
and a soldier she presumed not to censure it。
“Such；” said Colonel Brandon； after a pause； “has been the
unhappy resemblance between the fate of mother and daughter！
and so imperfectly have I discharged my trust！”
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“Is she still in town？”
“No； as soon as she recovered from her lying…in； for I found her
near her delivery； I removed her and her child into the country；
and there she remains。”
Recollecting； soon afterwards； that he was probably dividing
Elinor from her sister； he put an end to his visit； receiving from
her again the same grateful acknowledgments； and leaving her full
of compassion and esteem for him。
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CHAPTER X
hen the particulars of this conversation were repeated
Wby Miss Dashwood to her sister； as they very soon
were； the effect on her was not entirely such as the
former had hoped to see。 Not that Marianne appeared to distrust
the truth of any part of it； for she listened to it all with the most
steady and submissive attention； made neither objection nor
remark； attempted no vindication of Willoughby； and seemed to
shew by her tears that she felt it to be impossible。 But though this
behaviour assured Elinor that the conviction of this guilt was
carried home to her mind； though she saw with satisfaction the
effect of it； in her no longer avoiding Colonel Brandon when he
called； in her speaking to him； even voluntarily speaking； with a
kind of compassionate respect； and though she saw her spirits less
violently irritated than before； she did not see her less wretched。
Her mind did become settled； but it was settled in a gloomy
dejection。 She felt the loss of Willoughby’s character yet more
heavily than she had felt the loss of his heart； his seduction and
desertion of Miss Williams； the misery of that poor girl； and the
doubt of what his designs might once have been on herself； preyed
altogether so much on her spirits； that she could not bring herself
to speak of what she felt even to Elinor； and； brooding over her
sorrows in silence； gave more pain to her sister than could have
been communicated by the most open and most frequent
confession of them。
To give the feelings or the language of Mrs。 Dashwood on
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receiving and answering Elinor’s letter would be only to give a
repetition of what her daughters had already felt and said； of a
disappointment hardly less painful than Marianne’s； and an
indignation even greater than Elinor’s。 Long letters from her；
quickly succeeding each other； arrived to tell all that she suffered
and thought； to express her anxious solicitude for Marianne； and
entreat she would bear up with fortitude under this misfortune。
Bad indeed must the nature of Marianne’s affliction be； when her
mother could talk of fortitude！ mortifying and humiliating must be
the origin of those regrets； which she could wish her not to
indulge！
Against the interest of her own individual comfort； Mrs。
Dashwood had determined that it would be better for Marianne to
be any where； at that time； than at Barton； where every thing
within her view would be bringing back the past in the strongest
and most afflicting manner； by constantly placing Willoughby
before her； such as she had always seen him there。 She
recommended it to her daughters； therefore； by all means not to
shorten their visit to Mrs。 Jennings； the length of which； though
never exactly fixed； had been expected by all to comprise at least
five or six weeks。 A variety of occupations； of objects； and of
company； which could not be procured at Barton； would be
inevitable there； and might yet； she hoped； cheat Marianne； at
times； into some interest beyond herself； and even into some
amusement； much as the ideas of both might now be spurned by
her。
From all danger of seeing Willoughby again； her mother
considered her to be at least equally safe in town as in the country；
since his acquaintance must now be dropped by all who called
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themselves her friends。 Design could never bring them in each
other’s way： negligence could never leave them exposed to a
surprise； and chance had less in its favour in the crowd of London
than even in the retirement of Barton； where it might force him
before her while paying that visit at Allenham on his marriage；
which Mrs。 Dashwood； from foreseeing at first as a prob
