the days of my life-第90节

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As　to　your　question　—　it　is　not　an　easy　one。　By　scientific　experience　I　have　myself　bee　absolutely　convinced　of　persistence　of　existence；　and　I　regard　death　as　an　important　episode　—　the　reverse　of　birth　—　but　neither　of　these　episodes　really　initial　or　final。　One　is　the　assumption　of　connection　with　matter；　the　other　is　the　abandoning　of　that　connection。
If　it　be　further　asked　whether　after　we　have　abandoned　matter　we　can；　by　indirect　means；　occasionally　continue　to　act　upon　it　—　on　the　matter　of　the　inorganic　world　or　the　matter　of　our　friends’　brains；　for　instance　—　I　am　inclined　to　answer；　though　now　more　doubtfully；　that　in　my　judgment　the　evidence　points　to　the　existence　of　some　indistinct　and　undeveloped　power　of　this　sort。
The　simplest　and　best　developed　variety　of　this　continued　interaction　with　matter　is　on　the　side　of　telepathy。
This　is　experimentally　found　existent　between　the　living；　and　I　have　reason　to　believe　that　this　is　the　one　mode　of　munication　which　survives　the　transition；　and　that　under　favourable　conditions　we　can　still　influence　and　be　influenced　by　the　process　of　events　and　emotions　here　。　。　。　。
This　is　forting；　so　far　as　it　goes；　and　of　course　extremely　interesting。　But；　after　all；　we　have　here　only　the　experience　and　the　deductions　of　one　man　who；　brilliant　and　utterly　upright　as　he　is　known　to　be；　may　still　be　mistaken　like　the　rest　of　us。　The　manifestations　exist　—　many　can　bear　witness　to　them。　But　whence　do　they　e？　That　is　the　question。　May　not　some　Power　be　mocking　us　that；　directly　or　indirectly；　draws　its　strength　from　our　vital　forces　and　has　its　roots　in　our　own　intelligence；　exalted　in　an　access　of　spiritual　intoxication？　Yet　if　so；　this　does　not　explain　the　“Bob”　incident　when　I　was　seeking　for　nothing；　and　had　gone　to　sleep　tired　out　with　my　usual　day’s　work。　Why；　in　such　circumstances；　should　this　dog　have　materialised　itself　in　my　slumbering　brain　and　at　the　moment　of　its　death；　or　rather；　as　I　firmly　believe；　several　hours　after　that　event？　Therein　lies　a　hint　of　great　marvels。
Years　afterwards　another　dream　about　an　animal　came　to　me　which　I　embodied　in　the　story　called　“The　Mahatma　and　the　Hare；”　a　little　book　that；　up　to　the　present；　has　no　great　public　vogue。　Largely　this　is　because　so　many　of　the　papers　neglected　it　as　though　it　were　something　improper。　Their　reason　was；　I　think；　that　they　feared　to　give　offence　to　that　great　section　of　their　readers　who；　directly　or　indirectly；　are　interested　in　sport；　by　extended　notices　of　a　parable　which　doubtless　in　its　essence　amounts　to　an　attack　upon　our　habit　of　killing　other　creatures　for　amusement。　I　hope；　however；　that　its　day　may　e；　though　perhaps　not　yet。
As　I　am　touching　on　mystical　subjects；　probably　for　the　last　time；　I　will　instance　here　a　series　of　imaginings　which　developed　themselves　in　my　mind　at　intervals　over　a　period　of　several　months　early　in　the　present　year。　I　noted　them　down　at　the　time　and；　except　for　an　addendum　to　No。　4；　give　them　without　alteration；　as　I　think　it　best　not　to　interfere　with　the　original　words；　on　which；　perhaps　unconsciously；　I　might　attempt　to　improve。　Indeed　it　would　be　easy　to　make　a　story　out　of　each　of　these　mind…pictures。　At　the　head　of　them　I　have　stated　the　alternative　explanations　which　occur　to　me。　Personally　I　favour　—　indeed　I　might　almost　say　that　I　accept　—　the　last。
Only　then　the　question　will　arise　as　to　whether　it　is　possible　for　us　to　imagine　anything　that　has　not；　somewhere　in　this　great　universe　whereof　we　only　know　the　fringe；　an　actual　counterpart；　perhaps　very　distorted；　of　some　unseen　truth？　However　far　we　throw　out　our　mental　hands；　can　they　close　on　anything　which　is　not　in　its　essence　a　fact；　or　the　reflection　of　a　fact？　Are　we　not　walled　in　by　facts；　and　is　it　within　our　scope　to　travel　one　inch　beyond　that　wall？　But　the　thing　is　very　subtle；　and　I　am　by　no　means　certain　that　I　make　my　meaning　clear。　Moreover；　it　could　be　argued　in　a　dozen　ways；　and　as　these　dream…pictures　are　merely　given　as　a　curiosity　in　which　I　have　no　personal　faith；　it　is　not　worth　while　to　waste　time　in　discussing　them。　Here　they　are：
During　the　past　few　months　there　have　e　to　me；　generally　between　sleeping　and　waking；　or　so　it　seemed；　certain　pictures。　These　pictures；　it　would　appear；　might　be　attributed　to　either　of　the　three　following　causes：
（1）　Memories　of　some　central　incident　that　occurred　in　a　previous　incarnation。
（2）　Racial　memories　of　events　that　had　happened　to　forefathers。
（3）　Subconscious　imagination　and　invention。
Probably　the　last　of　these　alternatives　is　the　one　which　most　people　would　accept；　since　it　must　be　remembered　that　there　is　nothing　in　any　one　of　these　tableaux　vivants　which　I　could　not　have　imagined　—　say　as　an　incident　of　a　romance。
Now；　before　I　forget　them；　I　will　describe　the　pictures　as　well　as　I　can。
1。　A　kind　of　bay　in　a　thicket　formed　of　such　woods　as　are　mon　in　England　today；　especially　hazel；　as　they　would　appear　towards　the　end　of　June；　in　full　leaf　but　still　very　green。　A　stream　somewhere　near。　At　back；　in　a　tall　bank；　something　like　the　Bath　Hills；29　the　mouth　of　a　cavern。　About　thirty　feet　from　this　a　rough　hut　made　of　poles　meeting　on　a　central　ridge　（I　have　forgotten　how　it　was　thatched）。　In　front　of　the　hut　a　fire　burning；　and　an　idea　of　something　being　cooked　by　a　skin…clad　woman；　I　standing　by；　a　youngish　man；　tall；　children　playing　round；　and　notably　a　boy　of　about　ten　standing　on　the　hither　side　of　the　fire；　his　nakedness　half　covered　by　the　pelt　of　some　animal；　his　skin；　as　he　lifts　his　arms；　very　white。　A　general　sense　of　something　about　to　happen。
28　Above　the　river　Waveney。　—　Ed。
2。　A　round　hut；　surrounded　by　a　fence；　standing　on　a　grassy　knoll；　no　trees　about。　A　black　woman　moving　within　the　fence　and；　I　think；　some　children；　myself　there　also；　as　a　black　man。　An　alarm　below；　which　causes　me　to　take　a　spear　and　run　out。　A　fight　with　attackers；　attackers　driven　off；　but　I　receive　a　spear…thrust　right　through　the　middle　below　the　breast；　and　stagger　up　the　slope　mortally　wounded　back　into　the　enclosure　round　the　hut；　where　I　fall　into　the　arms　of　the　woman　and　die。
3。　A　great　palace　built　in　the　Egyptian　style。　Myself；　a　man　of　about　thirty；　in　quaint　and　beautiful　robes　wound　rather　tightly　round　the　body；　walking　at　night　up　and　down　some　half…enclosed　and　splendid　chamber　through　which　the　air　flows　freely。　A　beautiful　young　woman　with　violet　eyes　creeps　into　the　place　like　one　who　is　afraid　of　being　seen；　creeps　up　to　me；　who　start　at　seeing　her　and　appear　to　indicate　that　she　should　go。　Thereon　the　woman　draws　herself　up　and；　instead　of　going；　throws　herself　straight　into　the　man’s　arms。
4。　An　idea　of　boundless　snows　and　great　cold。　Then　the　interior　of　a　timber…built　hall；　say　forty　feet　or　more　in　length；　a　table　by　a　doorway　and　on　it　three　or　four　large　dark…coloured　trout；　such　as　might　e　from　a　big　lake。　Wooden　vessels　about；　brightly　painted。　A　fire　burning　in　the　centre　of　the　hall；　with　no　chimney。　On　the　farther　side　of　the　fire　a　bench；　and　on　the　bench　a　young　woman　of　not　more　than　two　—　or　three…and…twenty；　apparently　the　same　woman　as　she　of　the　Egyptian　picture；　or　very　like　her；　with　the　identical　large　violet　eyes；　although　rather　taller。　She　is　clothed　in　a　tight…fitting　grey　dress；　quite　plain　and　without　ornament；　made　of　some　rough　frieze　and　showing　the　outline　of　the　figure　beneath。　The　hair　is　fair；　but　I　cannot　remember　exactly　how　it　was　arranged。　The　woman　is　evidently　in　great　grief。　She　sits；　her　elbow　resting　on　her　knee；　her　chin　in　her　hand；　and　stares　hopelessly　into　the　fire。　Presently　something　attracts　her　attention；　for　she　looks　towards　the　door　by　the　table；　which　opens　and　admits　through　it　a　tall　man；　who；　I　know；　is　myself；　wearing　armour；　for　I　catch　the　sheen　of　it　in　the　firelight。　The　woman　springs　from　the　bench；　runs　round　the　fire；　apparently　screaming；　and　throws　herself　on　to　the　breast　of　the　man。
The　general　impression　left　is　that　she　had　believed　him　to　be　dead　when　he；　probably　her　husband；　appeared　alive　and　well。
（Some　months　later　I　was　favoured　with　an　impression　of　another　scene　set　in　the　same　surroundings。　In　this　picture　postscript；　if　I　may　call　it　so；　the　identical　man　and　woman；　now　persons　of　early　middle　age；　were　standing　together　in　bitter　sorrow　over　the　doubled…up　and　fully…dressed　body　of　a　beautiful　lad　of　about　eighteen　years　of　age。　Although　I　saw　no　wet　upon　his　clothes　I　think　that　he　had　been　drowned。）
5。　The　mouth　of　a　tunnel　or　mine…adit　running　into　a　bare　hillside　strewn　with　rocks　and　debris。　Standing　outside　the　tunnel　a　short；　little　woman　of　about　twenty…five；　with　black　hair；　brown　eyes；　and　brownish　but　not　black　skin；　lightly　clad　in　some　nondescript　kind　of　garment。　Resting　on　her；　his　arms　about　her　shoulders；　an　elderly　man；　very　thin　and　short；　with　a　sad；　finely…cut　face　and　sparse　grizzled　beard；　wearing　a　dingy　loin…cloth。　The　man’s　right　foot　covered　with　blood；　and　so　badly　crushed　that　one　of　the　bones　projects　from　the　instep。　The　woman　weeping。　By　his　side　on　the　ground　a　kind　of　basket　filled　with　lumps　of　ore；　designed　to　be　carried　on　the　back　and　fitted　with　two　flat　loops　of　hide；　with　a　breast…strap　connec