the days of my life-第50节

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　1　Elm　Court　and　toiled　at　“Jess。”　Sometimes　this　was　no　easy　task；　since　young　barristers　of　my　acquaintance；　with　time　upon　their　hands；　would　enter　and　scoff　at　my　literary　labours。　In　the　evening　I　placed　what　I　had　written　in　a　kind　of　American　cloth　music…roll；　which　either　my　wife　or　Miss　Barber　made　for　me；　and　carried　it　home　to　West　Kensington；　so　that　I　might　continue　my　work　after　dinner。　In　fact；　there　were　two　of　these　rolls。　The　first　of　them　I　lost　on　my　homeward　way；　I　know　not　how　or　where。　It　contained　about　a　dozen　foolscap　sheets　of　closely　written　manuscript　of　one　of　the　most　important　parts　of　the　book；　that　which；　amongst　other　things；　describes　the　character　of　Frank　Muller　and　how；　after　he　had　attempted　the　murder　of　Neal　and　Jess　in　the　Vaal　River；　he　galloped　away　pursued　by　his　own　terrors。　I　remember　that　I　was　much　distressed　at　this　loss；　thinking　that　what　I　had　written　was　the　best　thing　I　had　ever　done。　I　waited　awhile；　hoping　that　the　address　written　within　the　case　might　bring　it　back　to　me。　But　it　never　did。　So　I　rewrote　the　missing　sheets　from　memory；　which　has　never　been　my　strong　point。　I　wonder　whether　they　are　better　or　worse　than　those　that　departed！
So　soon　as　“Jess；”　of　which　I　will　speak　more　hereafter；　was　finished；　or　rather　about　a　month　later；　I　began　another　tale　which　the　world　knows　as　“She。”　The　exact　date　of　its　mencement　is　uncertain；　for　it　has　been　obliterated　by　a　clip　that　fastened　the　manuscript　together；　and　all　that　remains　is　“Feb。86。”　At　the　end；　however；　is　inscribed　“Finished　18　March　1886。”　Therefore；　even　supposing　that　it　was　begun　upon　the　1st　February；　which　would　mean　that　I　had　allowed　myself　a　month’s　rest　after　finishing　“Jess；”　the　whole　romance　was　pleted　in　a　little　over　six　weeks。　Moreover；　it　was　never　rewritten；　and　the　manuscript　carries　but　few　corrections。　The　fact　is　that　it　was　written　at　white　heat；　almost　without　rest；　and　that　is　the　best　way　to　pose。
I　remember　that　when　I　sat　down　to　the　task　my　ideas　as　to　its　development　were　of　the　vaguest。　The　only　clear　notion　that　I　had　in　my　head　was　that　of　an　immortal　woman　inspired　by　an　immortal　love。　All　the　rest　shaped　itself　round　this　figure。　And　it　came　—　it　came　faster　than　my　poor　aching　hand　could　set　it　down。
Well　do　I　recall　taking　the　pleted　manuscript　to　the　office　of　my　literary　agent；　Mr。　A。　P。　Watt；　and　throwing　it　on　the　table　with　the　remark：　“There　is　what　I　shall　be　remembered　by。”　Well　do　I　recall　also　visiting　Mr。　Watt　at　his　office；　which　then　was　at　2　Paternoster　Square；　and　finding　him　out。　As　the　business　was　urgent；　and　I　did　not　wish　to　have　to　return；　I　sat　down　at　his　table；　asked　for　some　foolscap；　and　in　the　hour　or　two　that　I　had　to　wait　wrote　the　scene　of　the　destruction　of　She　in　the　Fire　of　Life。　This；　however；　was　of　course　a　little　while　—　it　may　have　been　a　few　days　—　before　I　delivered　the　manuscript。
It　would　seem；　therefore；　that　between　January　1885　and　March　18；　1886；　with　my　own　hand；　and　unassisted　by　any　secretary；　I　wrote　“King　Solomon’s　Mines；”　“Allan　Quatermain；”　“Jess；”　and　“She。”　Also　I　followed　my　profession；　spending　many　hours　of　each　day　studying　in　chambers；　or　in　Court；　where　I　had　some　devilling　practice；　carried　on　my　usual　correspondence；　and　attended　to　the　affairs　of　a　man　with　a　young　family　and　a　certain　landed　estate。
A　little　later　on　the　work　grew　even　harder；　for　to　it　was　added　the　toil　of　an　enormous　correspondence　hurled　at　me　by　every　kind　of　person　from　all　over　the　earth。　If　I　may　judge　by　those　which　remain　marked　with　a　letter　A　for　“answered；”　I　seem　to　have　done　my　best　to　reply　to　all　these　scribes；　hundreds　of　them；　even　down　to　the　autograph…hunter；　a　task　which　must　have　taken　up　a　good　part　of　every　day；　and　this　in　addition　to　all　my　other　work。　No　wonder　that　my　health　began　to　give　out　at　last；　goaded　as　I　was　at　that　period　of　my　life　by　constant　and　venomous　attacks。
When　“She”　was　in　proof　for　serial　publication　in　the　Graphic　I　showed　it　to　Andrew　Lang。　He　writes　to　me　on　July　12；　1886：
I　have　pretty　nearly　finished　“She。”　I　really　must　congratulate　you；　I　think　it　is　one　of　the　most　astonishing　romances　I　ever　read。　The　more　impossible　it　is；　the　better　you　do　it；　till　it　seems　like　a　story　from　the　literature　of　another　pla。　I　can’t　give　a　better　account　of　the　extraordinary　impression　it　makes　upon　me；　as　to　the　Public　I　never　can　speak。
Then　he　makes　some　criticisms　of　the　style；　the　ic　element　and　the　horrors；　and　ends　with　a　P。S。　“I　know　I　shan’t　sleep。”
On　the　25th　of　the　same　month　Lang　writes　again：
I　have　just　finished　“She；”　previously　I　skipped　a　bit　to　get　to　the　end。　I　certainly　still　think　it　the　most　extraordinary　romance　I　ever　read；　and　that’s　why　I　want　you　to　be　very　careful　with　the　proofs；　before　it　goes　out　in　a　volume。　。　。　。　I　nearly　cried　over　Ayesha’s　end。　But　how　did　she　e　to　Kor？　There　is　a　difficulty　about　Leo。　He　is　not　made　a　very　interesting　person。　Probably　he　was　only　a　fine　animal。　Anyhow　that　can’t　be　helped　now　and　never　could　perhaps。　I　dare　say　Kallikrates　was　no　better。　But　some　of　the　chaff　in　awful　situations　lets　one　down　too　suddenly。　I’d　take　other　fellows’　advice　about　it；　in　some　of　the　marked　places。　I　hope　they　find　She　in　Thibet；　and　all　die　together。　＇They　did；　practically；　twenty　years　later；　see　“Ayesha。”　—　H。　R。　H。＇　By　George；　I’d　have　gone　into　the　fire　and　chucked　in　She　too；　perhaps　it　would　have　picked　her　up　again。
In　another　letter　he　says：
It　is　awfully　good　of　you　to　think　of　putting　my　name　in　“She”　and　I　consider　it　a　great　distinction。　The　only　thing　is　that；　if　you　do；　I　shan’t　be　able　to　review　it；　except　with　my　name　signed　thereto　and　my　honest　confession。　Probably　I　could　do　that　in　the　Academy。　It　is　rather　curious　（plagiarism　on　your　side　again）　that　I　was　going　to　ask　you　to　let　me　dedicate　my　little　volume　of　tales；　“That　Missionary；”　etc。　to　you。
I　may　say　here　that　Lang　did　review　“She”　in　the　Academy　over　his　own　name；　but；　I　am　almost　sure；　nowhere　else；　although　I　believe　he　was　accused　of　having　written　a　dozen　or　more　notices　of　this　work；　and　that　he　did　dedicate　“In　the　Wrong　Paradise”　to　me　in　very　charming　language。
Having　run　through　the　Graphic；　where　it　attracted　a　good　deal　of　attention；　“She”　appeared　as　a　six…shilling　volume；　I　think　the　first　or　one　of　the　first　novels　that　was　published　in　that　form；　some　time　in　December　1886。　It　was　brought　out　by　Messrs。　Longmans　and　very　well　got　up；　the　elaborate　sherd　pounded　by　my　sister…inlaw；　then　Miss　Barber；　and　myself　being　reproduced　in　two　plates　at　the　beginning　of　the　volume。　The　illustrations　by　Messrs。　Greiffenhagen　and　Kerr　were；　however；　added　afterwards。　By　the　way；　the　reproduction　of　this　sherd　was　shown　as　being　from　a　genuine　antique　to　Mr。　（afterwards　Sir　John）　Evans；　who　of　course　was　a　great　expert　on　such　matters。　For　a　long　while　he　peered　at　it　through　his　eyeglasses　and　at　last　put　it　down；　remarking；　“All　I　can　say　is　that　it　might　possibly　have　been　forged”　—　which　I　consider　great　testimony　to　the　excellency　of　the　sherd；　which　now　reposes　in　a　cupboard　upstairs。15
15　It　is　now　in　Norwich　Museum　with　the　original　MSS。　of　many　of　Sir　Rider’s　tales。　—　Ed。
The　title　“She；”　if　I　remember　aright；　was　taken　from　a　certain　rag　doll；　so　named；　which　a　nurse　at　Bradenham　used　to　bring　out　of　some　dark　recess　in　order　to　terrify　those　of　my　brothers　and　sisters　who　were　in　her　charge。
“She”　proved　a　great　and　immediate　success；　and　I　received　many　letters；　of　　Sir　Walter　Besant；　and　one　from　Mr。　（now　Sir　Edmund）　Gosse。
12　Gayton　Crescent；　Hampstead：
January　2；　1887。
My　dear　Haggard；　—　While　I　am　under　the　spell　of　“Ayesha；”　which　I　have　only　just　finished；　I　must　write　to　congratulate　you　upon　a　work　which　most　certainly　puts　you　at　the　head　—　a　long　away　ahead
—　of　all　contemporary　imaginative　writers。　If　fiction　is　best　cultivated　in　the　field　of　pure　invention　then　you　are　certainly　the　first　of　modern　novelists。　“Solomon’s　Mines”　is　left　far　behind。　It　is　not　only　the　central　conception　that　is　so　splendid　in　its　audacity；　but　it　is　your　logical　and　pitiless　working　out　of　the　whole　thing　in　its　inevitable　details　that　strikes　me　with　astonishment。
I　do　not　know　what　the　critics　will　say　about　it。　Probably　they　will　not　read　more　than　they　can　help　and　then　let　you　off　with　a　few　general　expressions。　If　the　critic　is　a　woman　she　will　put　down　this　book　with　the　remark　that　it　is　impossible　—　almost　all　women　have　this　feeling　towards　the　marvellous。
Whatever　else　you　do；　you　will　have　“She”　always　behind　you　for　purposes　of　odious　parison。　And　whatever　critics　say　the　book　is　bound　to　be　a　magnificent　success。　Also　it　will　produce　a　crop　of　imitators。　And　all　the　little　conventional　story…tellers　will　be　jogged　out　of　their　grooves　—　until　they　find　new　ones　。　。　。　。
Yours　very　sincerely；
Walter　Besant。
Certainly　Besant　was　quite　right　when　he　said　that　I　should　always　have　“She”　behind　me　“for　purposes　of　odious　parison。”　I　always　have。　Quite　a　large　proportion　of　my　critics　during　many　years　have　mentioned　in　the　course　of　their　reviews　of　various　wor