the days of my life-第22节

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　influence　them　are　not　the　petty　things　they　seem　to　be；　but　rather　a　part　of　some　great　scheme　whereof　we　know　neither　the　beginning　nor　the　end。　The　threads　of　our　destinies；　in　black　or　in　scarlet　or　in　sombre　grey；　appear　and　disappear　before　our　mortal　eyes；　but　who　can　figure　out　the　tapestry　that　they　help　to　weave？　That　picture　lies　beyond　our　ken　or　even　our　imagining。
The　insect　sees　more　than　the　worm；　the　snake　more　than　the　insect；　the　dog　more　than　the　snake；　and　the　man；　erect　in　his　pride；　more　than　all　of　them。　But　how　much　does　the　man　see　of　the　whole　great　universe；　or　even　of　this　little　earth？
To　the　best　of　my　belief　I　answered　my　father’s　letter；　which　I　think　I　destroyed　upon　the　spot；　very　briefly；　saying　that　I　had　abandoned　my　idea　of　ing　home。　Apparently　this　letter　was　not　preserved。　One　remains；　however；　which　appears　to　allude　to　the　subject；　and　from　it　I　quote　some　extracts。
Government　House；
Pretoria；　Transvaal：　June　1；　1877。
My　dear　Father；　—　I　have　to　acknowledge　your　two　letters　dated　respectively　27th　March　and　the　4th　April。　I　do　not　think　that　it　will　be　of　any　good　to　dwell　any　more　on　what　is　to　me；　in　some　ways　at　least；　a　rather　painful　subject　。　。　。　。
I　received　today　my　letter　of　appointment　as　English　Clerk　to　the　Colonial　Secretary’s　Office　with　a　salary　of　250　pounds　per　annum。　I　have　not　yet　got　my　appointment　as　Clerk　to　the　Executive　Council；　which　will　be　worth　nominally　100　pounds　per　annum；　but　in　reality　only　50　pounds。　It　was　to　have　been　gazetted　tomorrow　with　the　other；　but　the　Chief　thought　it　better　to　wait。　However；　unless　something　occurs；　I　shall　get　it　before　long；　as　soon　as　there　is　an　Executive　to　be　Clerk　to。　The　reason　that　50　pounds　is　to　be　knocked　off　is　that　it　is　not　desirable　to　give　offence　by　making　my　pay　higher　than　that　of　any　other　clerk　in　the　service；　and　though　virtually　I　shall　stand　first　on　the　list；　it　is　thought　better　that　I　should　not　be　nominally　either　under　or　over　the　one　or　ty　position　as　“English　Clerk”　will　be　a　perfectly　independent　one。　The　English　work　of　the　office　will　be　in　my　hands；　and　as　it　now　far　more　than　equals　the　Dutch　and　will　increase　day　by　day；　of　course　it　is　the　most　important　part　of　the　business　and　will　soon　swamp　the　other。
The　reason　of　the　delay　in　my　appointment　is　that　there　has　been　a　difference　of　opinion　about　it　between　the　Chief　and　Mr。　Osborn；　who　is　to　be　Colonial　Secretary　and　consequently　my　Head　of　Department　and；　under　the　Governor；　of　the　whole　service。　The　Chief　wished　me　to　stop　on　with　him　as　Despatch　Clerk　with　the　same　salary；　and　Obsorn　wanted　me　in　his　office。　In　the　end　they　promised　it：　my　appointment　is　made　out　as　above；　and　when　I　am　wanted　at　Government　House　I　am　to　go　there。　On　the　whole　I　would　rather　have　it　as　it　is；　for　the　work　will　be　more　interesting　though　harder；　and　the　position；　on　the　whole；　better。
So　much　for　the　appointment　itself；　now　as　regards　its　future　probable　or　possible　results。　。　。　。　It　is　far　better　to　take　service　here　than　in　Natal。　In　five　years　Natal　will　be　to　this　country　what　Ireland　is　to　England。　To　begin　with；　the　Transvaal　is　more　than　six　times　its　size。　If　the　Transvaal　at　all　realises　what　is　expected　of　it；　it　will　before　long；　with　its　natural　wealth　and　splendid　climate；　be　one　of　the　most　splendid　foreign　possessions　of　the　British　Crown；　and　if　as　is　probable　gold　is　discovered　in　large　quantities；　it　may　take　a　sudden　rush　forward；　and　then　one　will　be　borne　up　with　it。　So　that　whatever　happens　I　think　that　I　shall　always　do　pretty　well　here。　However；　my　aim　is　of　course　to　rise　to　the　position　of　a　Colonial　Governor；　and　to　do　that　I　must　trust　to　good　fortune　and　my　interest。　I　may；　or　I　may　not；　according　to　circumstances。　At　any　rate　I　have　now　got　my　foot　on　the　first　rung　of　the　Colonial　ladder；　and　D。V。　I　intend　to　climb　it。　Whether　I　have　done　better　than　I　should　have　done　by　first　reading　for　the　Bar　I　do　not　know：　there　is　much　to　be　said　on　both　sides。　The　great　thing　is　that　I　am　now　independent　and　shall；　I　hope；　put　you　to　no　more　expense　or　trouble；　of　both　of　which　I　am　afraid　I　have　given　you　too　much　already。
This　brings　me　to　the　subject　of　money。　I　am　very　sorry　to　see　from　your　letter　that　I　have　overdrawn　to　the　amount　of　25　pounds。　I　must　have　miscalculated；　as　I　was　under　the　impression　that　sum　made　up　the　200　pounds。　I　believe　however　that　if　you　think　it　over　you　will　not　consider　that　I　have　been　very　extravagant。　You　always　calculated　that　the　200　pounds　would　last　two　years；　and　it　is　nearly　two　years　since　I　left　England　（if　I　remember　right　it　was　this　very　day　two　years　ago　that　I　decided　to　e　to　Natal）。　I　have　had　to　draw　more　lately；　owing　to　the　heavy　expenses　I　have　had　to　meet　in　connection　with　this　Mission。　Horses；　arms　and　servants　cannot　be　had　for　nothing；　and　I　had　to　provide　myself　with　all。　If　I　get　any　pay　for　this　business　that　will　at　all　enable　me　to　do　so　I　hope　that　you　will　allow　me　to　remit　the　25　pounds。　If　not　I　fear　I　shall　have　to　draw　on　you　once　more　for　20　pounds　in　order　to　meet　some　debts　which　I　must　pay　before　the　month　is　up　in　connection　with　the　transhipping　of　my　baggage　to　Cape　Town　and　back；　etc。　I　shall　be　very　sorry　to　put　you　to　that　expense；　my　dear　Father；　but　I　trust　that　it　will　be　the　last　time　I　shall　ever　have　to　do　so。　As　to　pay　for　this　business；　I　live　in　hope。　I　rather　fear　that　the　Chief　may　consider　that　the　fact　of　accepting　service　under　this　Government　may　cancel　all　past　debts；　but　still　I　shall　have　a　shot　for　it。
June　5；　1877。
My　dear　Father；　—　I　thanked　the　Chief　the　other　day　for　the　appointment；　and　he　told　me　that　he　hoped　it　would　be　a　good　deal　better　soon；　but　that　he　was　not　sufficiently　firm　in　his　seat　yet　to　make　big　appointments。
I　don’t　at　all　know　how　I　am　going　to　live　here；　and　I　fear　that　I　shall　be　obliged　to　build　a　house。　Mr。　Osborn　gave　me　a　hint　the　other　day　that　I　should　be　wele　to　a　room　in　his　house　when　he　gets　settled。　He　has　not　got　a　house　yet：　there　are　none　to　get。　The　probabilities　are　that　I　shall　stay　in　this　country　for　many　years；　so　I　shall　have　to　build　something　sooner　or　later。　It　will　be　the　cheapest　way　and　by　far　the　most　fortable。　However　I　shall　try　to　shift　along　for　the　present；　live　in　a　tent　or　something；　until　I　hear　about　that　money。　I　hope　that　it　is　not　saddled　with　conditions　＇this　refers　to　a　legacy　of　500　pounds　which　had　been　left　to　me　many　years　before　by　a　godparent。　—　H。　R。　H。＇。　The　scarcity　of　money　here　is　something　extraordinary。　Till　within　a　month　or　two；　the　few　who　had　any　lent　it　on　security　often　three　times　the　value　of　the　sum　lent；　at　the　rate　of　15　per　cent。　per　annum。　The　Annexation　has　had　a　wonderful　effect。　An　“erf”　or　building　side　that　would　have　sold　for　40　pounds　before　is　now　valued　at　130　pounds。
Ever　your　most　affectionate　and　dutiful　son；
H。　Rider　Haggard。
To　return　to　public　affairs。　Ten　days　after　our　arrival　at　Pretoria　from　Secocoeni’s　country　the　Transvaal　was　annexed　to　the　British　Crown。　Of　the　actual　history　of　the　events　surrounding　that　annexation　I　purpose　to　say　little；　as　I　have　already　written　a　full　and　true　account　of　it　in　my　book；　“Cetewayo　and　his　White　Neighbours。”　On　one　point；　however；　I　will　touch。
On　the　11th　April；　the　day　before　the　Annexation；　Shepstone　sent　a　message　to　Cetewayo；　I　myself　saw　the　messenger　despatched。　This　message　told　the　Zulu　king　of　the　rumours　that　had　reached　Pretoria　as　to　his　intention　of　attacking　the　Transvaal；　and　ordered　him；　if　these　were　true　—　which　they　were　—　to　disband　his　armies；　as　the　Transvaal　was　about　to　bee　the　Queen’s　land。　In　due　course　came　Cetewayo’s　answer。　It　is　given　in　“Cetewayo　and　his　White　Neighbours；”　and　I　will　quote　only　a　few　lines　here。
I　thank　my　father　Sompseu　for　his　message。　I　am　glad　that　he　has　sent　it　because　the　Dutch　have　tired　me　out　and　I　intended　to　fight　them　once　and　once　only　and　to　drive　them　over　the　Vaal。　Kabana　＇name　of　messenger＇；　you　see　my　impis　＇armies＇　are　gathered。　It　was　to　fight　the　Dutch　I　called　them　together；　now　I　will　send　them　back　to　their　homes。
It　is　my　firm　and　fixed　belief　that　at　this　juncture　no　one　except　Shepstone　could　have　prevented　the　Zulus　from　sweeping　the　Transvaal　or；　at　any　rate；　from　attempting　to　do　so。
The　great　day　came　at　length。　On　April　12；　1877；　at　some　time　in　the　forenoon　—　I　think　it　was　about　eleven　o’clock　—　we；　the　members　of　the　staff；　marched　down　to　the　Market　Square；　where　a　crowd　was　assembled；　Sir　Theophilus　remaining　at　the　building　which　afterwards　became　Government　House。　I　do　not　remember　that　our　little　escort　of　twenty…five　Mounted　Police　were　with　us。　They　may　have　been；　but　I　think　it　probable　that　they　were　left　near　the　person　of　the　Special　missioner。　That　there　was　a　possibility　of　trouble　we　all　knew；　for　many　threats　had　been　made；　but　in　that　event　twenty…five　policemen　would　not　have　helped　us　much。
Everything　being　arranged　decently　and　in　order；　Osborn　stepped　forward　and　read　the　Proclamation；　which　was　received　with　cheers　by　the　crowd；　that　of　course　was　largely　posed　of　English　folk　or　of　those　who　were　not　unsympathetic。　After　this　ceremony　was　p