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第54节

my name is red-我的名字叫红-第54节

小说: my name is red-我的名字叫红 字数: 每页4000字

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wiped away the blood in the hallway; on the staircase and everywhere else。 I 
went  back  upstairs  to  my  room;  removed  my  bloodied  clothes  and  put  on 
clean clothes。 Carrying the bucket and rag; I was about to enter the room with 
the blue door when I heard the courtyard gate swing open。 The evening call to 
prayer had begun。 I mustered all my strength; and holding the oil lamp in my 
hand; I waited for them at the top of the stairs。 
“Mother; we’re back;” Orhan said。 
“Hayriye!  Where  have  you  been!”  I  said  forcefully;  but  as  if  I  were 
whispering; not shouting。 
“But Mother; we didn’t stay out past the evening call to prayer…” Shevket 
had begun to say。 
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“Quiet! Your grandfather is ill; he’s sleeping。” 
“Ill?”  said  Hayriye  from  below。  She  could  tell  from  my  silence  that  I  was 
angry:  “Shekure;  we  waited  for  Kosta。  After  the  gray  mullet  arrived;  without 
tarrying; we picked bay leaves; then I bought the dried figs and cherries for the 
children。” 
I had the urge to go down and admonish Hayriye in a whisper; but I was 
afraid that as I was going downstairs; the oil lamp I carried would illuminate 
the  wet  steps  and  the  drops  of  blood  I’d  missed  in  my  haste。  The  children 
noisily climbed the stairs and then removed their shoes。 
“Ah…ah…ah;” I said。 Guiding them toward our bedroom; “Not that way; your 
grandfather’s sleeping; don’t go in there。” 
“I’m going into the room with the blue door; to be by the brazier;” Shevket 
said; “not to Grandfather’s room。” 
“Your grandfather fell asleep in that room;” I whispered。 
But I noticed that they hesitated for a moment。 “Let’s be certain that the 
evil  jinns  that’ve  possessed  your  grandfather  and  made  him  sick  don’t  set 
upon the both of you as well;” I said。 “Go to your room; now。” I grabbed both 
of them by their hands and put them into the room where we slept together。 
“Tell me then; what were you doing out on the streets till this hour?” “We saw 
some  black  beggars;”  said  Shevket。  “Where?”  I  asked。  “Were  they  carrying 
flags?” “As we were climbing the hill。 They gave Hayriye a lemon。 Hayriye gave 
them  some  money。  They  were  covered  in  snow。”  “What  else?”  “They  were 
practicing  shooting  arrows  at  a  target  in  the  square。”  “In  this  snow?”  I  said。 
“Mother;  I’m  cold;”  said  Shevket。  “I’m  going  into  the  room  with  the  blue 
door。” “You’re not to leave this room;” I said。 “Otherwise you’ll die。 I’ll bring 
you  the  brazier。”  “Why  do  you  say  we’re  going  to  die?”  said  Shevket。  “I’m 
going  to  tell  you  something;”  I  said;  “but  you’re  not  to  tell  anyone;  are  we 
understood?” They swore not to tell。 “While you were out; a pletely white 
man  who’d  died  and  lost  his  color  came  here  from  a  faraway  country  and 
spoke to your grandfather。 It turns out he was a jinn。” They asked me where 
the  jinn  came  from。  “From  the  other  side  of  the  river;”  I  said。  “Where  our 
father  is?”  asked  Shevket。  “Yes;  from  there;”  I  said。  “The  jinn  came  to  take  a 
look at the pictures in your grandfather’s books。 They say that a sinner who 
looks at those pictures immediately dies。” 
A silence。 
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“Listen;  I’m  going  downstairs  to  be  with  Hayriye;”  I  said。  “I’m  going  to 
carry the brazier in here; as well as the dinner tray。 Don’t even think of leaving 
the room or you’ll die。 The jinn is still in the house。” 
“Mama; Mama; don’t go;” Orhan said。 
I squared myself to Shevket。 “You’re responsible for your brother;” I said。 “If 
you leave the room and the jinn doesn’t get you; I’ll be the one who kills you。” 
I put on the frightening expression that I made before slapping them。 “Now 
pray that your ill grandfather doesn’t die。 If you’re good; God will grant you 
your prayers and no one will be able to harm you。” Without giving themselves 
over to it too much; they began to pray。 I went downstairs。 
“Somebody  knocked  over  the  pot  of  orange  jam;”  said  Hayriye。  “The  cat 
couldn’t have done it; not strong enough; a dog couldn’t have gotten into the 
house…” 
She abruptly saw the terror on my face and stopped: “What’s the matter; 
then;”  she  said;  “what  happened?  Has  something  happened  to  your  dear 
father?” 
“He’s dead。” 
She shrieked。 The knife and onion she was holding fell from her hands and 
hit the cutting board with such force that the fish she was preparing flopped。 
She  shrieked  again。  We  both  noticed  that  the  blood  on  her  left  hand  had 
e;  not  from  the  fish;  but  from  her  index  finger;  which  she’d  sliced 
accidentally。 I ran upstairs; and as I was searching for a piece of muslin in the 
room opposite the one the children were in; I heard their noises and shouts。 
Holding the piece of cloth I’d torn off; I entered the room to find that Shevket 
had climbed onto his younger brother; pinning Orhan’s shoulders down with 
his knees。 He was choking him。 
“What are you two doing!” I shouted at the top of my lungs。 
“Orhan was leaving the room;” Shevket said。 
“Liar;” said Orhan。 “Shevket opened the door and I told him not to leave。” 
He began to cry。 
“If you don’t sit up here quietly; I’ll kill both of you。” 
“Mama; don’t go;” Orhan said。 
Downstairs;  I  bound  Hayriye’s  finger;  stopping  the  bleeding。  When  I  told 
her  that  my  father  hadn’t  died  a  natural  death;  she  grew  frightened  and 
recited  some  prayers  asking  for  Allah’s  protection。  She  stared  at  her  injured 
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finger  and  began  crying。  Was  her  affection  for  my  father  great  enough  to 
unleash such a fit of crying? She wanted to go upstairs and see him。 
“He’s not upstairs;” I said。 “He’s in the back room。” 
She gazed at me suspiciously。 But when she realized I couldn’t bear another 
look at him; she was overe by curiosity。 She grabbed the lamp and left。 She 
took four or five steps beyond the entrance of the kitchen; where I stood; and 
with respect and apprehension; she slowly pushed open the door of the room; 
and by the light of the lamp she was holding; looked inside。 Unable at first to 
see my father; she raised the lamp even higher; trying to illuminate the corners 
of the large rectangular room。 
“Aaah!” she screamed。 She’d caught sight of my father where I’d left him 
just beside the door。 Frozen; she gazed at him。 The shadow she cast along the 
floor and stable wall was motionless。 As she looked; I imagined what she was 
seeing。  When  she  returned;  she  wasn’t  crying。  I  was  relieved  to  see  that  she 
still had her wits about her; enough to be able to register pletely what I 
was prepared to tell her。 
“Now listen to me; Hayriye;” I said。 As I spoke; I waved the fish knife; which 
my hand had grabbed seemingly on its own。 “The upstairs has been ransacked 
too;  the  same  accursed  demon  has  destroyed  all;  he’s  made  a  shambles  of 
everything。 That’s where he crushed my father’s face and skull; that’s where he 
killed  him。  I  brought  him  down  here  so  the  children  wouldn’t  see  and  so  I 
might  have  a  chance  to  caution  you。  After  you  three  left;  I  also  went  out。 
Father was home by himself。” 
“I was not aware of that;” she said insolently。 “Where were you?” 
I  wanted  her  to  take  careful  note  of  my  silence。  Then  I  said;  “I  was  with 
Black。 I met with Black in the house of the Hanged Jew。 But you won’t breathe 
a word of this to anyone。 Nor; for the time being; will you mention that my 
father has been killed。” 
“Who was it that murdered him?” 
Was she truly such an idiot or was she trying to corner me? 
“If I knew; I wouldn’t hide the fact that he was dead;” I said。 “I don’t know。 
Do you?” 
“How should I know anything?” she said。 “What are we going to do now?” 
“You’re going to behave as if nothing whatsoever has happened;” I said。 I 
felt the urge to wail; to burst out crying; but I restrained myself。 We both were 
quiet。 
200 
 
Much later; I said; “Forget about the fish for now; set out the dishes for the 
children。” 
She objected and started to cry; and I put my arms around her。 We hugged 
each other tightly。 I loved her then; momentarily pitying; not only myself and 
the  children;  but  all  of  us。  But  even  as  we  embraced;  a  worm  of  doubt  was 
anxiously  gnawing  at  me。  You  know  where  I  was  while  my  father  was  being 
murdered。 To further my own designs; I’d cleared the house of Hayriye and the 
children。  You  know  that  leaving  my  father  alone  in  the  house  was  an 
unforeseen coincidence…But did Hayriye know? Did she prehend what I’d 
explained  to  her;  will  she  understand?  Indeed;  yes;  she’d  quickly  understand 
and grow suspicious。 I hugged her even tighter; but I knew that with her slave 
girl’s  mind  she’d  assume  I  was  doing  this  to  cover  up  my  wiles;  and  before 
long even I felt as if I were deceiving her。 While my father was being murdered 

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