pgw.adamselindistress-第36节

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a　wedding　licence　and　get　to　work？　After　that　it　would　be　all　over　except　sending　out　the　invitations？〃
　Reggie　shook　his　head。
　〃Not　at　all。　You　need　a　lot　more　than　that。　That's　only　the　start。　You've　got　to　follow　up　the　good　work；　you　see。　That's　where　a　number　of　chappies　would　slip　up；　and　I'm　pretty　certain　I　should　have　slipped　up　myself；　but　for　another　singularly　rummy　occurrence。　Have　you　ever　had　a　what…do…you…call　it？　　What's　the　word　I　want？　One　of　those　things　fellows　get　sometimes。〃
　〃Headaches？〃　hazarded　George。
　〃No；　no。　Nothing　like　that。　I　don't　mean　anything　you　getI　mean　something　you　get；　if　you　know　what　I　mean。〃
　〃Measles？〃
　〃Anonymous　letter。　That's　what　I　was　trying　to　say。　It's　a　most　extraordinary　thing；　and　I　can't　understand　even　now　where　the　deuce　they　came　from；　but　just　about　then　I　started　to　get　a　whole　bunch　of　anonymous　letters　from　some　chappie　unknown　who　didn't　sign　his　name。〃
　〃What　you　mean　is　that　the　letters　were　anonymous；〃　said　George。
　〃Absolutely。　I　used　to　get　two　or　three　a　day　sometimes。　　Whenever　I　went　up　to　my　room；　I'd　find　another　waiting　for　me　on　the　dressing…table。〃
　〃Offensive？〃
　〃Eh？〃
　〃Were　the　letters　offensive？　Anonymous　letters　usually　are。〃
　〃These　weren't。　Not　at　all；　and　quite　the　reverse。　They　contained　a　series　of　perfectly　topping　tips　on　how　a　fellow　should　proceed　who　wants　to　get　hold　of　a　girl。〃
　〃It　sounds　as　though　somebody　had　been　teaching　you　ju…jitsu　by　post。〃
　〃They　were　great！　Real　red…hot　stuff　straight　from　the　stable。　Priceless　tips　like　'Make　yourself　indispensable　to　her　in　little　ways'；　'Study　her　tastes'；　and　so　on　and　so　forth。　I　tell　you；　laddie；　I　pretty　soon　stopped　worrying　about　who　was　sending　them　to　me；　and　concentrated　the　old　bean　on　acting　on　them。　　They　worked　like　magic。　The　last　one　came　yesterday　morning；　and　it　was　a　topper！　It　was　all　about　how　a　chappie　who　was　nervous　should　proceed。　Technical　stuff；　you　know；　about　holding　her　hand　and　telling　her　you're　lonely　and　being　sincere　and　straightforward　and　letting　your　heart　dictate　the　rest。　　Have　you　ever　asked　for　one　card　when　you　wanted　to　fill　a　royal　flush　and　happened　to　pick　out　the　necessary　ace？　I　did　once；　when　I　was　up　at　Oxford；　and；　by　Jove；　this　letter　gave　me　just　the　same　thrill。　I　didn't　hesitate。　I　just　sailed　in。　I　was　cold　sober；　but　I　didn't　worry　about　that。　Something　told　me　I　couldn't　lose。　It　was　like　having　to　hole　out　a　three…inch　putt。　　Andwell；　there　you　are；　don't　you　know。〃　Reggie　became　thoughtful。　〃Dash　it　all！　I'd　like　to　know　who　the　fellow　was　who　sent　me　those　letters。　I'd　like　to　send　him　a　wedding…present　or　a　bit　of　the　cake　or　something。　Though　I　suppose　there　won't　be　any　cake；　seeing　the　thing's　taking　place　at　a　registrar's。〃
　〃You　could　buy　a　bun；〃　suggested　George。
　〃Well；　I　shall　never　know；　I　suppose。　And　now　how　about　trickling　forth？　I　say；　laddie；　you　don't　object　if　I　sing　slightly　from　time　to　time　during　the　journey？　I'm　so　dashed　happy；　you　know。〃
　〃Not　at　all；　if　it's　not　against　the　traffic　regulations。〃
　Reggie　wandered　aimlessly　about　the　room　in　an　ecstasy。
　〃It's　a　rummy　thing；〃　he　said　meditatively；　〃I've　just　remembered　that；　when　I　was　at　school；　I　used　to　sing　a　thing　called　the　what's…it's…name's　wedding　song。　At　house…suppers；　don't　you　know；　and　what　not。　Jolly　little　thing。　I　daresay　you　know　it。　　It　starts　'Ding　dong！　Ding　dong！'　or　words　to　that　effect；　'Hurry　along！　For　it　is　my　wedding…morning！'　I　remember　you　had　to　stretch　out　the　'mor'　a　bit。　Deuced　awkward；　if　you　hadn't　laid　in　enough　breath。　'The　Yeoman's　Wedding…Song。'　That　was　it。　I　knew　it　was　some　chappie　or　other's。　And　it　went　on　'And　the　bride　in　something　or　other　is　doing　something　I　can't　recollect。'　Well；　what　I　mean　is；　now　it's　my　wedding…morning！　Rummy；　when　you　e　to　think　of　it；　what？　Well；　as　it's　getting　tolerable　late；　what　about　it？　Shift　ho？〃
　〃I'm　ready。　Would　you　like　me　to　bring　some　rice？〃
　〃Thank　you；　laddie；　no。　Dashed　dangerous　stuff；　rice！　　Worse　than　shrapnel。　Got　your　hat？　All　set？〃
　〃I'm　waiting。〃
　〃Then　let　the　revels　mence；〃　said　Reggie。　〃Ding　dong！　　Ding　Dong！　Hurry　along！　For　it　is　my　wedding…morning！　　And　the　bride　Dash　it；　I　wish　I　could　remember　what　the　bride　was　doing！〃
　〃Probably　writing　you　a　note　to　say　that　she's　changed　her　mind；　and　it's　all　off。〃
　〃Oh；　my　God！〃　exclaimed　Reggie。　〃e　on！〃
　
　CHAPTER　21。
　
　Mr。　and　Mrs。　Reginald　Byng；　seated　at　a　table　in　the　corner　of　the　Regent　Grill…Room；　gazed　fondly　into　each　other's　eyes。　George；　seated　at　the　same　table；　but　feeling　many　miles　away；　watched　them　moodily；　fighting　to　hold　off　a　depression　which；　cured　for　a　while　by　the　exhilaration　of　the　ride　in　Reggie's　racing…car　（it　had　beaten　its　previous　record　for　the　trip　to　London　by　nearly　twenty　minutes）；　now　threatened　to　return。　　The　gay　scene；　the　ecstasy　of　Reggie；　the　more　restrained　but　equally　manifest　happiness　of　his　bridethese　things　induced　melancholy　in　George。　He　had　not　wished　to　attend　the　wedding…lunch；　but　the　happy　pair　seemed　to　be　revolted　at　the　idea　that　he　should　stroll　off　and　get　a　bite　to　eat　somewhere　else。
　〃Stick　by　us；　laddie；〃　Reggie　had　said　pleadingly；　〃for　there　is　much　to　discuss；　and　we　need　the　counsel　of　a　man　of　the　world。　　We　are　married　all　right〃
　〃Though　it　didn't　seem　legal　in　that　little　registrar's　office；〃　put　in　Alice。
　〃But　that；　as　the　blighters　say　in　books；　is　but　a　beginning；　not　an　end。　We　have　now　to　think　out　the　most　tactful　way　of　letting　the　news　seep　through；　as　it　were；　to　the　mater。〃
　〃And　Lord　Marshmoreton；〃　said　Alice。　〃Don't　forget　he　has　lost　his　secretary。〃
　〃And　Lord　Marshmoreton；〃　amended　Reggie。　〃And　about　a　million　other　people　who'll　be　most　frightfully　peeved　at　my　doing　the　Wedding　Glide　without　consulting　them。　Stick　by　us；　old　top。　Join　our　simple　meal。　And　over　the　old　coronas　we　will　discuss　many　things。〃
　The　arrival　of　a　waiter　with　dishes　broke　up　the　silent　munion　between　husband　and　wife；　and　lowered　Reggie　to　a　more　earthly　plane。　He　refilled　the　glasses　from　the　stout　bottle　that　nestled　in　the　ice…bucket…（〃　Only　this　one；　dear！〃　murmured　the　bride　in　a　warning　undertone；　and　〃All　right　darling！〃　replied　the　dutiful　groom）…and　raised　his　own　to　his　lips。
　〃Cheerio！　Here's　to　us　all！　Maddest；　merriest　day　of　all　the　glad　New　year　and　so　forth。　And　now；〃　he　continued；　being　sternly　practical；　〃about　the　good　old　sequel　and　aftermath；　so　to　speak；　of　this　little　binge　of　ours。　What's　to　be　done。　　You're　a　brainy　sort　of　feller；　Bevan；　old　man；　and　we　look　to　you　for　suggestions。　How　would　you　set　about　breaking　the　news　to　mother？〃
　〃Write　her　a　letter；〃　said　George。
　Reggie　was　profoundly　impressed。
　〃Didn't　I　tell　you　he　would　have　some　devilish　shrewd　scheme？〃　he　said　enthusiastically　to　Alice。　〃Write　her　a　letter！　　What　could　be　better？　Poetry；　by　Gad！〃　His　face　clouded。　　〃But　what　would　you　say　in　it？　That's　a　pretty　knotty　point。〃
　〃Not　at　all。　Be　perfectly　frank　and　straightforward。　Say　you　are　sorry　to　go　against　her　wishes〃
　〃Wishes；〃　murmured　Reggie；　scribbling　industrially　on　the　back　of　the　marriage　licence。
　〃But　you　know　that　all　she　wants　is　your　happiness〃
　Reggie　looked　doubtful。
　〃I'm　not　sure　about　that　last　bit；　old　thing。　You　don't　know　the　mater！〃
　〃Never　mind；　Reggie；〃　put　in　Alice。　〃Say　it；　anyhow。　Mr。　　Bevan　is　perfectly　right。〃
　〃Right　ho；　darling！　All　right；　laddie'happiness'。　And　then？〃
　〃Point　out　in　a　few　well…chosen　sentences　how　charming　Mrs。　Byng　is　。　。　。〃
　〃Mrs。　Byng！〃　Reggie　smiled　fatuously。　〃I　don't　think　I　ever　heard　anything　that　sounded　so　indescribably　ripping。　　That　part'll　be　easy　enough。　Besides；　the　mater　knows　Alice。〃
　〃Lady　Caroline　has　seen　me　at　the　castle；〃　said　his　bride　doubtfully；　〃but　I　shouldn't　say　she　knows　me。　She　has　hardly　spoken　a　dozen　words　to　me。〃
　〃There；〃　said　Reggie；　earnestly；　〃you're　in　luck；　dear　heart！　　The　mater's　a　great　speaker；　especially　in　moments　of　excitement。　　I'm　not　looking　forward　to　the　time　when　she　starts　on　me。　　Between　ourselves；　laddie；　and　meaning　no　disrespect　to　the　dear　soul；　when　the　mater　is　moved　and　begins　to　talk；　she　uses　up　most　of　the　language。〃
　〃Outspoken；　is　she？〃
　〃I　should　hate　to　meet　the　person　who　could　out…speak　her；〃　said　Reggie。
　George　sought　information　on　a　delicate　point。
　〃And　financially？　Does　she　exercise　any　authority　over　you　in　that　way？〃
　〃You　mean　has　the　mater　the　first　call　on　the　family　doubloons？〃　said　Reggie。　〃Oh；　absolutely　not！　You　see；　when　I　call　her　the　mater；　it's　using　the　word　in　a　loose　sense；　so　to　speak。　She's　my　step…mother　really。　She　has　her　own　little　collection　of　pieces　of　eight；　and　I　have　mine。　That　part's　simple　enough。〃
　〃Then　the　whole　thing　is　simple。　I　don't　see　what　you've　been　worrying　about。〃
　〃Just　what　I　keep　telling　him；　Mr。　Bevan；〃　said　Alice。
　〃You're　a　perfectly　free　agent。　She　has　no　hold　on　you　of　any　kind。〃
　Reggie　Byng　blinked　dizzily。
　〃Why；　now　you　put　it　like　that；〃　he　exclaimed；　〃I　can　see　that　I　jolly　well　am！　It's　an　amazing　thing；　you　know；　habit　and　all　that。　I've　been　so　accustomed　for　years　to　jumping　through　hoops　and　shamming　dead　when