da.therestaurantattheendoftheuniverse-第26节

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　other　worlds。
　　What　can　be　made　of　this　fact？　It　exists　in　total　isolation。　As　far　as　any　theory　of　structural　linguistics　is　concerned　it　is　right　off　the　graph；　and　yet　it　persists。　Old　structural　linguists　get　very　angry　when　young　structural　linguists　go　on　about　it。　Young　structural　linguists　get　deeply　excited　about　it　and　stay　up　late　at　night　convinced　that　they　are　very　close　to　something　of　profound　importance；　and　end　up　being　old　structural　linguists　before　their　time；　getting　very　angry　with　the　young　ones。　Structural　linguistics　is　a　bitterly　divided　and　unhappy　discipline；　and　a　large　number　of　its　practitioners　spend　too　many　nights　drowning　their　problems　in　Ouisghian　Zodahs。
　　Number　Two　stood　before　the　Captain's　bathtub　trembling　with　frustration。
　　〃Don't　you　want　to　interrogate　the　prisoners　sir？〃　he　squealed。
　　The　Captain　peered　at　him　in　bemusement。
　　〃Why　on　Golgafrincham　should　I　want　to　do　that？〃　he　asked。
　　〃To　get　information　out　of　them；　sir！　To　find　out　why　they　came　here！〃
　　〃Oh　no；　no；　no；〃　said　the　Captain；　〃I　expect　they　just　dropped　in　for　a　quick　jynnan　tonnyx；　don't　you？〃
　　〃But　sir；　they're　my　prisoners！　I　must　interrogate　them！〃
　　The　Captain　looked　at　them　doubtfully。
　　〃Oh　all　right；〃　he　said；　〃if　you　must。　Ask　them　what　they　want　to　drink。〃
　　A　hard　cold　gleam　came　into　Number　Two's　eyes。　He　advanced　slowly　on　Ford　Prefect　and　Arthur　Dent。
　　〃All　right；　you　scum；〃　he　growled；　〃you　vermin。。。〃　He　jabbed　Ford　with　the　Kill…O…Zap　gun。
　　〃Steady　on；　Number　Two；〃　admonished　the　Captain　gently。
　　〃What　do　you　want　to　drink！！！〃　Number　Two　screamed。
　　〃Well　the　jynnan　tonnyx　sounds　very　nice　to　me；〃　said　Ford；　〃What　about　you　Arthur？〃
　　Arthur　blinked。
　　〃What？　Oh；　er；　yes；〃　he　said。
　　〃With　ice　or　without？〃　bellowed　Number　Two。
　　〃Oh；　with　please；〃　said　Ford。
　　〃Lemon？？！！〃
　　〃Yes　please；〃　said　Ford；　〃and　do　you　have　any　of　those　little　biscuits？　You　know；　the　cheesy　ones？〃
　　〃I'm　asking　the　questions！！！！〃　howled　Number　Two；　his　body　quaking　with　apoplectic　fury。
　　〃Er；　Number　Two。。。〃　said　the　Captain　softly。
　　〃Sir？！〃
　　〃Push　off；　would　you；　there's　a　good　chap。　I'm　trying　to　have　a　relaxing　bath。〃
　　Number　Two's　eyes　narrowed　and　became　what　are　known　in　the　Shouting　and　Killing　People　trade　as　cold　slits；　the　idea　presumably　being　to　give　your　opponent　the　impression　that　you　have　lost　your　glasses　or　are　having　difficulty　keeping　awake。　Why　this　is　frightening　is　an；　as　yet；　unresolved　problem。
　　He　advanced　on　the　captain；　his　（Number　Two's）　mouth　a　thin　hard　line。　Again；　tricky　to　know　why　this　is　understood　as　fighting　behaviour。　If；　whilst　wandering　through　the　jungle　of　Traal；　you　were　suddenly　to　e　upon　the　fabled　Ravenous　Bugblatter　Beast；　you　would　have　reason　to　be　grateful　if　its　mouth　was　a　thin　hard　line　rather　than；　as　it　usually　is；　a　gaping　mass　of　slavering　fangs。
　　〃May　I　remind　you　sir；〃　hissed　Number　Two　at　the　Captain；　〃that　you　have　now　been　in　that　bath　for　over　three　years？！〃　This　final　shot　delivered；　Number　Two　spun　on　his　heel　and　stalked　off　to　a　corner　to　practice　darting　eye　movements　in　the　mirror。
　　The　Captain　squirmed　in　his　bath。　He　gave　Ford　Prefect　a　lame　smile。
　　〃Well　you　need　to　relax　a　lot　in　a　job　like　mine；〃　he　said。
　　Ford　slowly　lowered　his　hands。　It　provoked　no　reaction。　Arthur　lowered　his。
　　Treading　very　slowly　and　carefully；　Ford　moved　over　to　the　bath　pedestal。　He　patted　it。
　　〃Nice；〃　he　lied。
　　He　wondered　if　it　was　safe　to　grin。　Very　slowly　and　carefully；　he　grinned。　It　was　safe。
　　〃Er。。。〃　he　said　to　the　Captain。
　　〃Yes？〃　said　the　Captain。
　　〃I　wonder；〃　said　Ford；　〃could　I　ask　you　actually　what　your　job　is　in　fact？〃
　　A　hand　tapped　him　on　the　shoulder。　He　span　round。
　　It　was　the　first　officer。
　　〃Your　drinks；〃　he　said。
　　〃Ah；　thank　you；〃　said　Ford。　He　and　Arthur　took　their　jynnan　tonnyx。　Arthur　sipped　his；　and　was　surprised　to　discover　it　tasted　very　like　a　whisky　and　soda。
　　〃I　mean；　I　couldn't　help　noticing；〃　said　Ford；　also　taking　a　sip；　〃the　bodies。　In　the　hold。〃
　　〃Bodies？〃　said　the　Captain　in　surprise。
　　Ford　paused　and　thought　to　himself。　Never　take　anything　for　granted；　he　thought。　Could　it　be　that　the　Captain　doesn't　know　he's　got　fifteen　million　dead　bodies　on　his　ship？
　　The　Captain　was　nodding　cheerfully　at　him。　He　also　appeared　to　be　playing　with　a　rubber　duck。
　　Ford　looked　around。　Number　Two　was　staring　at　him　in　the　mirror；　but　only　for　an　instant：　his　eyes　were　constantly　on　the　move。　The　first　officer　was　just　standing　there　holding　the　drinks　tray　and　smiling　benignly。
　　〃Bodies？〃　said　the　Captain　again。
　　Ford　licked　his　lips。
　　〃Yes；〃　he　said；　〃All　those　dead　telephone　sanitizers　and　account　executives；　you　know；　down　in　the　hold。〃
　　The　Captain　stared　at　him。　Suddenly　he　threw　back　his　head　and　laughed。
　　〃Oh　they're　not　dead；〃　he　said；　〃Good　Lord　no；　no　they're　frozen。　They're　going　to　be　revived。〃
　　Ford　did　something　he　very　rarely　did。　He　blinked。
　　Arthur　seemed　to　e　out　of　a　trance。
　　〃You　mean　you've　got　a　hold　full　of　frozen　hairdressers？〃　he　said。
　　〃Oh　yes；〃　said　the　Captain；　〃Millions　of　them。　Hairdressers；　tired　TV　producers；　insurance　salesmen；　personnel　officers；　security　guards；　public　relations　executives；　management　consultants；　you　name　them。　We're　going　to　colonize　another　planet。〃
　　Ford　wobbled　very　slightly。
　　〃Exciting　isn't　it？〃　said　the　Captain。
　　〃What；　with　that　lot？〃　said　Arthur。
　　〃Ah；　now　don't　misunderstand　me；〃　said　the　Captain；　〃we're　just　one　of　the　ships　in　the　Ark　Fleet。　We're　the　'B'　Ark　you　see。　Sorry；　could　I　just　ask　you　to　run　a　bit　more　hot　water　for　me？〃
　　Arthur　obliged；　and　a　cascade　of　pink　frothy　water　swirled　around　the　bath。　The　Captain　let　out　a　sigh　of　pleasure。
　　〃Thank　you　so　much　my　dear　fellow。　Do　help　yourselves　to　more　drinks　of　course。〃
　　Ford　tossed　down　his　drink；　took　the　bottle　from　the　first　officer's　tray　and　refilled　his　glass　to　the　top。
　　〃What；〃　he　said；　〃is　a　'B'　Ark？〃
　　〃This　is；〃　said　the　Captain；　and　swished　the　foamy　water　around　joyfully　with　the　duck。
　　〃Yes；〃　said　Ford；　〃but。。。〃
　　〃Well　what　happened　you　see　was；〃　said　the　Captain；　〃our　planet；　the　world　from　which　we　have　e；　was；　so　to　speak；　doomed。〃
　　〃Doomed？〃
　　〃Oh　yes。　So　what　everyone　thought　was；　let's　pack　the　whole　population　into　some　giant　spaceships　and　go　and　settle　on　another　planet。〃
　　Having　told　this　much　of　his　story；　he　settled　back　with　a　satisfied　grunt。
　　〃You　mean　a　less　doomed　one？〃　promoted　Arthur。
　　〃What　did　you　say　dear　fellow？〃
　　〃A　less　doomed　planet。　You　were　going　to　settle　on。〃
　　〃Are　going　to　settle　on；　yes。　So　it　was　decided　to　build　three　ships；　you　see；　three　Arks　in　Space；　and。。。　I'm　not　boring　you　am　I？〃
　　〃No；　no；〃　said　Ford　firmly；　〃it's　fascinating。〃
　　〃You　know　it's　delightful；〃　reflected　the　Captain；　〃to　have　someone　else　to　talk　to　for　a　change。〃
　　Number　Two's　eyes　darted　feverishly　about　the　room　again　and　then　settled　back　on　the　mirror；　like　a　pair　of　flies　briefly　distracted　from　their　favourite　prey　of　months　old　meat。
　　〃Trouble　with　a　long　journey　like　this；〃　continued　the　Captain；　〃is　that　you　end　up　just　talking　to　yourself　a　lot；　which　gets　terribly　boring　because　half　the　time　you　know　what　you're　going　to　say　next。〃
　　〃Only　half　the　time？〃　asked　Arthur　in　surprise。
　　The　Captain　thought　for　a　moment。
　　〃Yes；　about　half　I'd　say。　Anyway　…　where's　the　soap？〃　He　fished　around　and　found　it。
　　〃Yes；　so　anyway；〃　he　resumed；　〃the　idea　was　that　into　the　first　ship；　the　'A'　ship；　would　go　all　the　brilliant　leaders；　the　scientists；　the　great　artists；　you　know；　all　the　achievers；　and　into　the　third；　or　'C'　ship；　would　go　all　the　people　who　did　the　actual　work；　who　made　things　and　did　things；　and　then　into　the　'B'　ship　…　that's　us　…　would　go　everyone　else；　the　middlemen　you　see。〃
　　He　smiled　happily　at　them。
　　〃And　we　were　sent　off　first；〃　he　concluded；　and　hummed　a　little　bathing　tune。
　　The　little　bathing　tune；　which　had　been　posed　for　him　by　one　of　his　world's　most　exciting　and　prolific　jingle　writer　（who　was　currently　asleep　in　hold　thirty…six　some　nine　hundred　yards　behind　them）　covered　what　would　otherwise　have　been　an　awkward　moment　of　silence。　Ford　and　Arthur　shuffled　their　feet　and　furiously　avoided　each　other's　eyes。
　　〃Er。。。〃　said　Arthur　after　a　moment；　〃what　exactly　was　it　that　was　wrong　with　your　planet　then？〃
　　〃Oh；　it　was　doomed；　as　I　said；〃　said　the　Captain；　〃Apparently　it　was　going　to　crash　into　the　sun　or　something。　Or　maybe　it　was　that　the　moon　was　going　to　crash　into　us。　Something　of　the　kind。　Absolutely　terrifying　prospect　whatever　it　was。〃
　　〃Oh；〃　said　the　first　officer　suddenly；　〃I　thought　it　was　that　the　planet　was　going　to　be　invaded　by　a　gigantic　swarm　of　twelve　foot　piranha　bees。　Wasn't　that　it？〃
　　Number　Two　span　around；　eyes　ablaze　with　a　cold　hard　light　that　only　es　with　the　amount　of　practice　he　was　prepared　to　put　in。
　　〃That's　not　what　I　was　told！〃　he　hissed；　〃My　manding　officer　told　me　that　the　entire　planet　was　in　imminent　danger　of　being　eaten　by　an　enormous