sk.theshining-第54节

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　　Jack　looked　slowly　up　into　Wendy's　face。　His　eyes　were　like　small　silver　coins。
　　〃Wendy？〃　Voice　soft；　nearly　purring。　〃Wendy；　what　did　you　do　to　him？〃　Wendy　stared　back　at　him　in　stunned　disbelief；　her　face　pallid。　She　shook　her　head。
　　〃Oh　Jack；　you　must　know…〃　Outside　it　had　begun　to　snow　again。
　　　
　　　》
　　KITCHEN　TALK
　　
　　Jack　carried　Danny　into　the　kitchen。　The　boy　was　still　sobbing　wildly；　refusing　to　look　up　from　Jack's　chest。　In　the　kitchen　he　gave　Danny　back　to　Wendy；　who　still　seemed　stunned　and　disbelieving。
　　〃Jack；　I　don't　know　what　he's　talking　about。　Please；　you　must　believe　that。〃
　　〃I　do　believe　it；〃　he　said；　although　he　had　to　admit　to　himself　that　it　gave　him　a　certain　amount　of　pleasure　to　see　the　shoe　switched　to　the　other　foot　with　such　dazzling；　unexpected　speed：　But　his　anger　at　Wendy　had　been　only　a　passing　gut　twitch。　In　his　heart　he　knew　Wendy　would　pour　a　can　of　gasoline　over　herself　and　strike　a　match　before　harming　Danny。
　　The　large　tea　kettle　was　on　the　back　burner；　poking　along　on　low　heat。　Jack　dropped　a　teabag　into　his　own　large　ceramic　cup　and　poured　hot　water　halfway。
　　〃Got　cooking　sherry；　don't　you？〃　he　asked　Wendy。
　　〃What？　。　。　。　oh；　sure。　Two　or　three　bottles　of　it。〃
　　〃Which　cupboard？〃　She　pointed；　and　Jack　took　one　of　the　bottles　down。　He　poured　a　hefty　dollop　into　the　teacup；　put　the　sherry　back；　and　filled　the　last　quarter　of　the　cup　with　milk。　Then　he　added　three　tablespoons　of　sugar　and　stirred。　He　brought　it　to　Danny；　whose　sobs　had　tapered　off　to　snifflings　and　hitchings。　But　he　was　trembling　all　over；　and　his　eyes　were　wide　and　starey。
　　〃Want　you　to　drink　this；　doc；〃　Jack　said。　〃It's　going　to　taste　frigging　awful；　but　it'll　make　you　feel　better。　Can　you　drink　it　for　your　daddy？〃　Danny　nodded　that　he　could　and　took　the　cup。　He　drank　a　little；　grimaced；　and　looked　questioningly　at　Jack。　Jack　nodded　and　Danny　drank　again。　Wendy　felt　the　familiar　twist　of　jealousy　somewhere　in　her　middle；　knowing　the　boy　would　not　have　drunk　it　for　her。
　　On　the　heels　of　that　came　an　unfortable；　even　startling　thought：　Had　she　wanted　to　think　Jack　was　to　blame？　Was　she　that　jealous？　It　was　the　way　her　mother　would　have　thought；　that　was　the　really　horrible　thing。　She　could　remember　a　Sunday　when　her　Dad　had　taken　her　to　the　park　and　she　had　toppled　from　the　second　tier　of　the　jungle　gym；　cutting　both　knees。　When　her　father　brought　her　home；　her　mother　had　shrieked　at　him：　What　did　you　do？　Why　weren't　you　watching　her？　What　kind　of　a　father　are　you？
　　（She　had　hounded　him　to　his　grave；　by　the　time　he　divorced　her　it　was　too　late。）　She　had　never　even　given　Jack　the　benefit　of　the　doubt。　Not　the　smallest。
　　Wendy　felt　her　face　burn　yet　knew　with　a　kind　of　helpless　finality　that　if　the　whole　thing　were　to　be　played　over　again；　she　would　do　and　think　the　same　way。
　　She　carried　part　of　her　mother　with　her　always；　for　good　or　bad。
　　〃Jack…〃　she　began；　not　sure　if　she　meant　to　apologize　or　justify。　Either；　she　knew；　would　be　useless。
　　〃Not　now；〃　he　said。
　　It　took　Danny　fifteen　minutes　to　drink　half　of　the　big　cup's　contents；　and　by　that　time　he　had　calmed　visibly。　The　shakes　were　almost　gone。
　　Jack　put　his　hands　solemnly　on　his　son's　shoulders。　〃Danny；　do　you　think　you　can　tell　us　exactly　what　happened　to　you？　It's　very　important。〃　Danny　looked　from　Jack　to　Wendy；　then　back　again。　In　the　silent　pause；　their　setting　and　situation　made　themselves　known：　the　whoop　of　the　wind　outside；　driving　fresh　snow　down　from　the　northwest；　the　creaking　and　groaning　of　the　old　hotel　as　it　settled　into　another　storm。　The　fact　of　their　disconnect　came　to　Wendy　with　unexpected　force　as　it　sometimes　did；　like　a　blow　under　the　heart。
　　〃I　want　。　。　。　to　tell　you　everything；〃　Danny　said。　〃I　wish　I　had　before。〃　He　picked　up　the　cup　and　held　it；　as　if　forted　by　the　warmth。
　　〃Why　didn't　you；　son？〃　Jack　brushed　Danny's　sweaty；　tumbled　hair　back　gently　from　his　brow。
　　〃Because　Uncle　Al　got　you　the　job。　And　I　couldn't　figure　out　how　it　was　good　for　you　here　and　bad　for　you　here　at　the　same　time。　It　was　。　。　。〃　He　looked　at　them　for　help。　He　did　not　have　the　necessary　word。
　　〃A　dilemma？〃　Wendy　asked　gently。　〃When　neither　choice　seems　any　good？〃
　　〃Yes；　that。〃　He　nodded；　relieved。
　　Wendy　said：　〃The　day　that　you　trimmed　the　hedges；　Danny　and　I　had　a　talk　in　the　truck。　The　day　the　first　real　snow　came。　Remember？〃　Jack　nodded。　The　day　he　had　trimmed　the　hedges　was　very　clear　in　his　mind。
　　Wendy　sighed。　〃I　guess　we　didn't　talk　enough。　Did　we；　doc？〃　Danny；　the　picture　of　woe；　shook　his　head。
　　〃Exactly　what　did　you　talk　about？〃　Jack　asked。　〃I'm　not　sure　how　much　I　like　my　wife　and　son…〃
　　〃…discussing　how　much　they　love　you？〃
　　〃Whatever　it　was；　I　don't　understand　it。　I　feel　like　I　came　into　a　movie　just　after　the　intermission。〃
　　〃We　were　discussing　you；〃　Wendy　said　quietly。　〃And　maybe　we　didn't　say　it　all　in　words；　but　we　both　knew。　Me　because　I'm　your　wife　and　Danny　because　he　。　。　。
　　just　understands　things。〃　Jack　was　silent。
　　〃Danny　said　it　just　right。　The　place　seemed　good　for　you。　You　were　away　from　all　the　pressures　that　made　you　so　unhappy　at　Stovington。　You　were　your　own　boss；　working　with　your　hands　so　you　could　save　your　brain…all　of　your　brain…　for　your　evenings　writing。　Then　。　。　。　I　don't　know　just　when　。　。　。　the　place　began　to　seem　bad　for　you。　Spending　all　that　time　down　in　the　cellar；　sifting　through　those　old　papers；　all　that　old　history。　Talking　in　your　sleep…〃
　　〃In　my　sleep？〃　Jack　asked。　His　face　wore　a　cautious；　startled　expression。　〃I　talk　in　my　sleep？〃
　　〃Most　of　it　is　slurry。　Once　I　got　up　to　use　the　bathroom　and　you　were　saying；　'To　hell　with　it；　bring　in　the　slots　at　least；　no　one　will　know；　no　one　will　ever　know。'　Another　time　you　woke　me　right　up；　practically　yelling；　‘Unmask；　unmask；　unmask。〃'
　　〃Jesus　Christ；〃　he　said；　and　rubbed　a　hand　over　his　face。　He　looked　ill。
　　〃All　your　old　drinking　habits；　too。　Chewing　Excedrin。　Wiping　your　mouth　all　the　time。　Cranky　in　the　morning。　And　you　haven't　been　able　to　finish　the　play　yet；　have　you？〃
　　〃No。　Not　yet；　but　it's　only　a　matter　of　time。　I've　been　thinking　about　something　else　。　。　。　a　new　project…〃
　　〃This　hotel。　The　project　Al　Shockley　called　you　about。　The　one　he　wanted　you　to　drop。〃
　　〃How　do　you　know　about　that？〃　Jack　barked。　〃Were　you　listening　in？　You…〃
　　〃No；〃　she　said。　〃I　couldn't　have　listened　in　if　I'd　wanted　to；　and　you'd　know　that　if　you　were　thinking　straight。　Danny　and　I　were　downstairs　that　night。　The　switchboard　is　shut　down。　Our　phone　upstairs　was　the　only　one　in　the　hotel　that　was　working；　because　it's　patched　directly　into　the　outside　line。　You　told　me　so　yourself。〃
　　〃Then　how　could　you　know　what　Al　told　me？〃
　　〃Danny　told　me。　Danny　knew。　The　same　way　he　sometimes　knows　when　things　are　misplaced；　or　when　people　are　thinking　about　divorce。〃
　　〃The　doctor　said…〃　She　shook　her　head　impatiently。　〃The　doctor　was　full　of　shit　and　we　both　know　it。　We've　known　it　all　the　time。　Remember　when　Danny　said　he　wanted　to　see　the　firetrucks？　That　was　no　hunch。　He　was　just　a　baby。　He　knows　things。　And　now　I'm　afraid　。　。　。〃　She　looked　at　the　bruises　on　Danny's　neck。
　　〃Did　you　really　know　Uncle　Al　had　called　me；　Danny？〃　Danny　nodded。　〃He　was　really　mad；　Daddy。　Because　you　called　Mr。　Ullman　and　Mr。
　　Ullman　called　him。　Uncle　AI　didn't　want　you　to　write　anything　about　the　hotel。〃
　　〃Jesus；〃　Jack　said　again。　〃The　bruises；　Danny。　Who　tried　to　strangle　you？〃　Danny's　face　went　dark。　〃Her；〃　he　said。　〃The　woman　in　that　room。　In　217。　The　dead　lady。〃　His　lips　began　to　tremble　again；　and　he　seized　the　teacup　and　drank。
　　Jack　and　Wendy　exchanged　a　scared　look　over　his　bowed　head。
　　〃Do　you　know　anything　about　this？〃　he　asked　her。
　　She　shook　her　head。　〃Not　about　this；　no。〃
　　〃Danny？〃　He　raised　the　boy's　frightened　face。　〃Try；　son。　We're　right　here。〃
　　〃I　knew　it　was　bad　here；〃　Danny　said　in　a　low　voice。　〃Ever　since　we　were　in　Boulder。　Because　Tony　gave　me　dreams　about　it。〃
　　〃What　dreams？〃
　　〃I　can't　remember　everything。　He　showed　me　the　Overlook　at　night；　with　a　skull　and　crossbones　on　the　front。　And　there　was　pounding。　Something　。　。　。　I　don't　remember　what　。　。chasing　after　me。　A　monster。　Tony　showed　me　about　redrum。〃
　　〃What's　that；　doc？〃　Wendy　asked。
　　He　shook　his　head。　〃I　don't　know。〃
　　〃Rum；　like　yo…ho…ho　and　a　bottle　of　rum？〃　Jack　asked。
　　Danny　shook　his　head　again。　〃I　don't　know。　Then　we　got　here；　and　Mr。　Hallorann　talked　to　me　in　his　car。　Because　he　has　the　shine；　too。〃
　　〃Shine？〃
　　〃It's　。　。　。〃　Danny　made　a　sweeping；　all…enpassing　gesture　with　his　hands。
　　〃It's　being　able　to　understand　things。　To　know　things。　Sometimes　you　see　things。
　　Like　me　knowing　Uncle　Al　called。　And　Mr。　Hallorann　knowing　you　call　me　doc。　Mr。
　　Hallorann；　he　was　peeling　potatoes　in　the　Army　when　he　knew　his　brother　got　killed　in　a　train　crash。　And　when　he　called　home　it　was　true。〃
　　〃Holy　God；〃　Jack　whispered。　〃You're　not　making　this　up；　are　you；　Dan？〃　Danny　shook　his　head　violently。　〃No；　I　swear　to　God。〃　Then；　with　a　touch　of　pride　he　added：　〃Mr。　Hallorann　said　I　had　the　best　shine　of　anyon