sk.theshining-第44节

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THE　MEN　IN　THE　WHITE　COATS　might　e　next？
　　Still　he　might　have　told　them　except　he　was　sure；　sooner　or　later；　that　they　would　want　to　take　him　away　from　the　hotel。　And　he　wanted　desperately　to　get　away　from　the　Overlook。　But　he　also　knew　that　this　was　his　daddy's　last　chance；　that　he　was　here　at　the　Overlook　to　do　more　than　take　care　of　the　place。　He　was　here　to　work　on　his　papers。　To　get　over　losing　his　job。　To　love　Mommy/Wendy。　And　until　very　recently；　it　had　seemed　that　all　those　things　were　happening。　It　was　only　lately　that　Daddy　had　begun　to　have　trouble。　Since　he　found　those　papers。
　　（This　inhuman　place　makes　human　monsters。）　What　did　that　mean？　He　had　prayed　to　God；　but　God　hadn't　told　him。　And　what　would　Daddy　do　if　he　stopped　working　here？　He　had　tried　to　find　out　from　Daddy's　mind；　and　had　bee　more　and　more　convinced　that　Daddy　didn't　know。　The　strongest　proof　had　e　earlier　this　evening　when　Uncle　Al　had　called　his　daddy　up　on　the　phone　and　said　mean　things　and　Daddy　didn't　dare　say　anything　back　because　Uncle　Al　could　fire　him　from　this　job　just　the　way　that　Mr。　Crommert；　the　Stovington　headmaster；　and　the　Board　of　Directors　had　fired　him　from　his　schoolteaching　job。　And　Daddy　was　scared　to　death　of　that；　for　him　and　Mommy　as　well　as　himself。
　　So　he　didn't　dare　say　anything。　He　could　only　watch　helplessly　and　hope　that　there　really　weren't　any　Indians　at　all；　or　if　there　were　that　they　would　be　content　to　wait　for　bigger　game　and　let　their　little　three…wagon　train　pass　unmolested。
　　But　he　couldn't　believe　it；　no　matter　how　hard　he　tried。
　　Things　were　worse　at　the　Overlook　now。
　　The　snow　was　ing；　and　when　it　did；　any　poor　options　he　had　would　be　abrogated。　And　after　the　snow；　what？　What　then；　when　they　were　shut　in　and　at　the　mercy　of　whatever　might　have　only　been　toying　with　them　before？
　　（e　out　here　and　take　your　medicine！）　What　then？　REDRUM。
　　He　shivered　in　his　bed　and　turned　over　again。　He　could　read　more　now。　Tomorrow　maybe　he　would　try　to　call　Tony；　he　would　try　to　make　Tony　show　him　exactly　what　REDRUM　was　and　if　there　was　any　way　he　could　prevent　it。　He　Would　risk　the　nightmares。　He　had　to　know。
　　Danny　was　still　awake　long　after　his　parents'　false　sleep　had　bee　the　real　thing。　He　rolled　in　his　bed；　twisting　the　sheets；　grappling　with　a　problem　years　too　big　for　him；　awake　in　the　night　like　a　single　sentinel　on　picket。　And　sometime　after　midnight；　he　slept　too　and　then　only　the　wind　was　awake；　prying　at　the　hotel　and　hooting　in　its　gables　under　the　bright　gimlet　gaze　of　the　stars。
　　　
　　　》
　　IN　THE　TRUCK
　　
　　I　see　a　bad　moon　a…rising。
　　I　see　trouble　on　the　way。
　　I　see　earthquakes　and　lightnin'　I　see　bad　times　today。
　　Don't　go　'round　tonight；　It's　bound　to　take　your　life；　There's　a　bad　moon　on　the　rise。*
　　
　　Someone　had　added　a　very　old　Buick　car　radio　under　the　hotel　truck's　dashboard；　and　now；　tinny　and　choked　with　static；　the　distinctive　sound　of　John　Fogerty's　Creedence　Clearwater　Revival　band　came　out　of　the　speaker。　Wendy　and　Danny　were　on　their　way　down　to　Sidewinder。　The　day　was　clear　and　bright。　Danny　was　turning　Jack's　orange　library　card　over　and　over　in　his　hands　and　seemed　cheerful　enough；　but　Wendy　thought　he　looked　drawn　and　tired；　as　if　be　hadn't　been　sleeping　enough　and　was　going　on　nervous　energy　alone。
　　The　song　ended　and　the　disc　jockey　came　on。　〃Yeah；　that's　Creedence。　And　speakin　of　bad　moon；　it　looks　like　it　may　be　risin　over　the　KMTX　listening　area　before　long；　hard　as　it　is　to　believe　with　the　beautiful；　springlike　weather　we've　enjoyed　for　the　last　couple…three　days。　The　KMTX　Fearless　Forecaster　says　high　pressure　will　give　way　by　one　o'clock　this　afternoon　to　a　widespread　low…　pressure　area　which　is　just　gonna　grind　to　a　stop　in　our　KMTX　area；　up　where　the　air　is　rare。　Temperatures　will　fall　rapidly；　and　precipitation　should　start　around　dusk。　Elevations　under　seven　thousand　feet；　including　the　metro…Denver　area；　can　expect　a　mixture　of　sleet　and　snow；　perhaps　freezing　on　some　roads；　and　nothin　but　snow　up　here；　cuz。　We're　lookin　at　one　to　three　inches　below　seven　thousand　and　possible　accumulations　of　six　to　ten　inches　in　Central　Colorado　and　on　the　Slope。　The　Highway　Advisory　Board　says　that　if　you're　plannin　to　tour　the　mountains　in　your　car　this　afternoon　or　tonight；　you　should　remember　that　the　chain　law　will　be　in　effect。　And　don't　go　nowhere　unless　you　have　to。　Remember；〃　the　announcer　added　jocularly；　〃that's　how　the　Donners　got　into　trouble。　They　just　weren't　as　close　to　the　nearest　Seven…Eleven　as　they　thought。〃　A　Clairol　mercial　came　on；　and　Wendy　reached　down　and　snapped　the　radio　off。　〃You　mind？〃
　　〃Huh…uh；　that's　okay。〃　He　glanced　out　at　the　sky；　which　was　bright　blue。
　　〃Guess　Daddy　picked　just　the　right　day　to　trim　those　hedge　animals；　didn't　he？〃
　　〃I　guess　he　did；〃　Wendy　said。
　　〃Sure　doesn't　look　much　like　snow；　though；〃　Danny　added　hopefully。
　　〃Getting　cold　feet？〃　Wendy　asked。　She　was　still　thinking　about　that　crack　the　disc　jockey　had　made　about　the　Donner　Party。
　　〃Nah；　I　guess　not。〃　Well；　she　thought；　this　is　the　time。　If　you're　going　to　bring　it　up；　do　it　now　or　forever　hold　your　peace。
　　〃Danny；〃　she　said；　making　her　voice　as　casual　as　possible；　〃would　you　be　happier　if　we　went　away　from　the　Overlook？　If　we　didn't　stay　the　winter？〃　Danny　looked　down　at　his　hands。　〃I　guess　so；〃　he　said。　〃Yeah。　But　it's　Daddy's　job。〃
　　〃Sometimes；〃　she　said　carefully；　〃I　get　the　idea　that　Daddy　might　be　happier　away　from　the　Overlook；　too。〃　They　passed　a　sign　which　read　SIDEWINDER　18　mi。
　　and　then　she　took　the　truck　cautiously　around　a　hairpin　and　shifted　up　into　second。　She　took　no　chances　on　these　downgrades；　they　scared　her　silly。
　　〃Do　you　really　think　so？〃　Danny　asked。　He　looked　at　her　with　interest　for　a　moment　and　then　shook　his　head。　〃No；　I　don't　think　so。〃
　　〃Why　not？〃
　　〃Because　he's　worried　about　us；〃　Danny　said；　choosing　his　words　carefully。　It　was　hard　to　explain；　he　understood　so　little　of　it　himself。　He　found　himself　harking　back　to　an　incident　he　had　told　Mr。　Hallorann　about；　the　big　kid　looking　at　department　store　TV　sets　and　wanting　to　steal　one。　That　had　been　distressing；　but　at　least　it　had　been　clear　what　was　going　on；　even　to　Danny；　then　little　more　than　an　infant。　But　grownups　were　always　in　a　turmoil；　every　possible　action　muddied　over　by　thoughts　of　the　consequences；　by　self…doubt；　by　seIfimage；　by　feelings　of　love　and　responsibility。　Every　possible　choice　seemed　to　have　drawbacks；　and　sometimes　he　didn't　understand　why　the　drawbacks　were　drawbacks。　It　was　very　hard。
　　〃He　thinks　。　。　。〃　Danny　began　again；　and　then　looked　at　his　mother　quickly。
　　She　was　watching　the　road；　not　looking　at　him；　and　he　felt　he　could　go　on。
　　〃He　thinks　maybe　we'll　be　lonely。　And　then　he　thinks　that　he　likes　it　here　and　it's　a　good　place　for　us。　He　loves　us　and　doesn't　want　us　to　be　lonely　。　。　。　or　sad　。　。　。　but　he　thinks　even　if　we　are；　it　might　be　okay　in　the　LONGRUN。　Do　you　know　LONGRUN？〃　She　nodded。　〃Yes；　dear。　I　do。〃
　　〃He's　worried　that　if　we　left　he　couldn't　get　another　job。　That　we'd　have　to　beg；　or　something。〃
　　〃Is　that　all？〃
　　〃No；　but　the　rest　is　all　mixed　up。　Because　he's　different　now。〃
　　〃Yes；〃　she　said；　almost　sighing。　The　grade　eased　a　little　and　she　shifted　cautiously　back　to　third　gear。
　　〃I'm　not　making　this　up；　Mommy。　Honest　to　God。〃
　　〃I　know　that；〃　she　said；　and　smiled。　〃Did　Tony　tell　you？〃
　　〃No；〃　he　said。　〃I　just　know。　That　doctor　didn't　believe　in　Tony；　did　he？〃
　　〃Never　mind　that　doctor；〃　she　said。　〃I　believe　in　Tony。　I　don't　know　what　he　is　or　who　he　is；　if　he's　a　part　of　you　that's　special　or　if　he　es　from　。　。　。
　　somewhere　outside；　but　I　do　believe　in　him；　Danny。　And　if　you　。　。　。　he　。　。　。
　　think　we　should　go；　we　will。　The　two　of　us　will　go　and　be　together　with　Daddy　again　in　the　spring。〃　He　looked　at　her　with　sharp　hope。　〃Where？　A　motel？〃
　　〃Hon；　we　couldn't　afford　a　motel。　It　would　have　to　be　at　my　mother's。〃　The　hope　in　Danny's　face　died　out。　〃I　know…〃　he　said；　and　stopped。
　　〃What？〃
　　〃Nothing；〃　he　muttered。
　　She　shifted　back　to　second　as　the　grade　steepened　again。　〃No；　doc；　please　don't　say　that。　This　talk　is　something　we　should　have　had　weeks　ago；　I　think。　So　please。　What　is　it　you　know？　I　won't　be　mad。　I　can't　be　mad；　because　this　is　too　important。　Talk　straight　to　me。〃
　　〃I　know　how　you　feel　about　her；〃　Danny　said；　and　sighed。
　　〃How　do　I　feel？〃
　　〃Bad；〃　Danny　said；　and　then　rhyming；　singsong；　frightening　her：　〃Bad。　Sad。
　　Mad。　It's　like　she　wasn't　your　mommy　at　all。　Like　she　wanted　to　eat　you。〃　He　looked　at　her；　frightened。　〃And　I　don't　like　it　there。　She's　always　thinking　about　how　she　would　be　better　for　me　than　you。　And　how　she　could　get　me　away　from　you。　Mommy；　I　don't　want　to　go　there。　I'd　rather　be　at　the　Overlook　than　there。〃　Wendy　was　shaken。　Was　it　that　bad　between　her　and　hermother？　God；　what　hell　for　the　boy　if　it　was　and　he　could　really　read　their　thoughts　for　each　other。
　　She　suddenly　felt　more　naked　than　naked；　as　if　she　had　been　caught　in　an　obscene　act。
　　〃All　right；〃　she　said。　〃All　right；　Danny。〃
　　〃You're　mad　at　me；〃　he　said　in　a　small；　near…to…