el.angeleyes-第61节
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everyone。
〃Mr。 Broker。〃
〃Broker sucks；〃 Greg said。 〃I'll go have a talk with Bob Hayes； the principal； tomorrow after classes。 Hayes knows what a prick Broker is。 Peter Borachov's the best Russian teacher。 I'll get you transferred to his class。〃
〃I'll still hate it。〃
〃Don't be a dope。 It's neat。 You'll like it； I promise。〃
〃Really？〃
〃Really。〃
〃Gee。 Great！〃 And just like that。 Tori's insoluble problem had been solved。 It had taken Greg to e up with the answer。 Greg always had the answers。
All of a sudden that afternoon was so peaceful； so perfect。 But not for long。 Greg； laughing； rolling over； reaching out； taking her with him into the pool。 Down； down； down； into the water； Greg's wide； powerful hand pressed against the top of her head； keeping her deep in the water while the air running out burned her lungs and a kind of animal panic gripped her so that she flailed out with her arms and legs and； at last； as she began to cry； feeling the weight e off her； Greg lifting her upward into the air and the light。
〃Stop！ Stop！ Stop！ Don't ever do that again！〃 She could remember him peering into her face while she wept and gasped； until she said； 〃Why are you looking at me？〃
〃To see your face change；〃 Greg said。
〃How did my face change？〃 Tori asked； wiping away her tears。 This was an altogether grown…up conversation； and she had already forgotten her fear and her anger。
〃I can't tell you；〃 Greg said； 〃but I can show you。〃 He put her hand on his head。 〃Push me down into the water。 Don't let me e up。〃
〃Greg； don't be stupid。 Why should I want…〃
〃Just do it； Tor！〃 he thundered； his eyes alight with energy； so that Tori was helpless to do anything other than ply。
She pushed his head under the water。 It took both her hands； her arms rigid； her legs fluttering back and forth in the water for added power。 Her head was just above the surface of the pool。 She could remember how the sunlight cut a last dazzle on the water and then； sinking below the tops of the palms； left the pool in blue twilight。 The pumps had cut off； and the water was utterly still； crystal clear。
Tori looked down at her brother submerged as； terrifyingly； she had been moments before。 Was this some kind of test； she wondered； a way to improve his breath control？ She liked being made part of his program； loved the sense of Tori and Greg versus Mom and Dad； his strength added to hers； another layer of callus to keep out the parental intrusions。
They were alone in Diana's Garden； alone in the cool water； just the two of them taking part in a mysterious process； like an ancient rite of which Tori had no knowledge。 And the not knowing somehow added to her excitement； as if she were participating in a really adult thing； Greg trusting her as if she were already grown up； and she thought； it was worth being terrorized by him for moments such as these。
Time passed。 Ripples on the skin of the pool； a string of tiny bubbles leaking from the corner of Greg's mouth。 She could feel him trying to rise； and she fluttered her feet harder； gaining purchase and leverage at the same time； pushing down to meet the increased pressure。
And then a bluebird swooped down from its perch in a nearby tree； skimmed the water as if wanting to see what lay below； and Tori thought； What am I doing？ I am holding my brother underwater； and I don't know how long he's been unable to breathe。 She felt a shiver of fright。
With a convulsive gesture she took her hands off the top of Greg's head； dove down； pulled him back to the surface。 His face was white； his eyes oddly dark。 He looked like a different person； as if the proximity to death had somehow changed him。 Something strange and cold crept through Tori's veins。
〃There；〃 Greg said； gripping her shoulders hard to be certain that she was staring directly at him。 〃Do you see？ I couldn't tell you； but I've shown you； haven't I？ 〃
Tori； sitting opposite Russell Slade in futuristic Roppongi； asked herself why she had recalled that specific incident。 Perhaps it was because the emotions gripping her heart were so disturbing that she had to conjure even more disturbing thoughts to try to block them out。 Wasn't it that moment； seeing Greg's changed face； when Tori's feet were set upon her path； that she knew she would not be satisfied until she stared death in the face？
Tori thought she wanted to explore this horrific idea further； but the essence of Russell kept insinuating itself into her consciousness…that new side of him she had glimpsed in the corrida when he had been near death； when； later； she had been so vulnerable； such an easy target for him； and instead of making the most of his advantage； he had gathered her into his arms。
Tori in Tokyo now； recalling Tokyo then； ten years ago； when she was ever so young； ever so smart； ever so vulnerable。 She had walked a different road then。 She had been cocky； so sure of herself； of her abilities。 The thought of defeat was merely a dream； the contemplation of her own death inconceivable。
Greg had flown in； one of the few occasions he had had the time to visit her in Japan。 It was odd； their worlds were so different； and yet so alike。 They both trained vigorously； both had a kind of monodirectional bent that allowed them to concentrate on the flood of information they had to learn； then translate it into action。 They were masters of both the cerebral and the physical； learning what a valuable modity the bination could be。
Though they were in touch infrequently； and saw each other even less； they still remained close。 Perhaps it was their parents that made them so； an unspoken mutual need to band together against the enormous pressures at home in Diana's Garden。
In Tokyo they had gone out drinking。 It was a recreation neither had the time nor the inclination to pursue on a regular basis。 Their lives were so disciplined； so regularized； so military； that the chance to kick back and break loose was irresistible。 It was also Tori's firm belief…a very Japanese concept…that real truths； the full heart； not the empty symbol； could only be expressed while drunk。 Everything could be forgiven then； there was no loss of face； no shame at being sentimental or showing weakness。
They had gone from bar to bar and； as the night wore on； found themselves in darker and meaner sections of the city。 They were not unaware of this； rather； they weled the proximity of danger。 There was about the entire night a sense of machismo that Ton was unable to understand until she looked back from the perspective time gave her。 At first she had believed that Greg； NASA pilot； astronaut in training； had been responsible for that febrile aggressiveness。 But then she realized that much of the machismo had stemmed from her； and Greg was following her lead。 That had been a switch。
She had followed Greg in everything： sports； mathematics； school； teams； the works。 That had been their father's doing。 Ellis Nunn had wanted to ensure that she was prepared for the hard； petitive world she would one day be thrown into。 If you can pete with your brother； you 'II be ready for anyone； he had told her。 Don't plain and don't try to weasel out。 I'm doing you the favor my father never did for me。
But； of course； she was doomed to failure at every turn。 Greg was the golden boy； superb in sports； mathematics； excelling in each school he attended。 Not that she didn't do her best to excel…and succeeded most of the time。 She just could not match Greg's level。 He seemed to revel in the milieu Ellis Nunn threw him into； she despised it。
So； in the end； she ran away； all the way across the Pacific to Japan； as if she needed to get as much distance as she could between herself and the life she had been forced to live。 But her flight was more than away from pain； it was toward a lifestyle that in its enigma drew her steadily on。 Like Odysseus on his arduous quest； Tori could hardly have done anything different。 She was made for Japan and it was made for her。
For one thing； the stringent asceticism at the martial arts school she joined was such a wele relief from the opulence and endless money； her parents' insatiable appetite for acquisitions； that she nearly wept for joy the first week at the school。 Alone； lying on her simple futon bed after a full day's mental and physical work； staring up through the garden at the moon and the stars； Tori had at last known a peace she had once thought could never be hers。
For another thing； there was sensei； a small； quick…gestured man； who nevertheless moved with a deliberation so profound； it actually seemed to be the opposite。 His stratagems appeared to be inadvertent； haphazard； wholly unexpected。
〃This is more difficult to achieve than you as a Westerner could possibly imagine；〃 he had told her when she had reached the fourth of his six levels of training。 〃This is not a racist remark； merely the truth。 You see； we Japanese abhor randomness。 Nature in its pure； unadulterated state frightens us； which is why we have created deities such as the fox goddess to reinforce that fright。〃
〃But sensei； look out there；〃 Tori had said； pointing to the exquisite garden。 〃You are always surrounded by nature。 I don't understand。〃
Sensei had smiled。 〃I
