el.angeleyes-第16节
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just so； the perfect mother making her daughter in her image。 Perfect。 Tori； running her brush through her thick hair now； shuddered。 She stared at herself in the mirror； and remembered 。 。 。
Almost ten years ago she had been； in the current street patois； a wild child…what the society of sixteenth century feudal Japan would have called a ronin…a masterless samurai。
Those were the days when Tori haunted the wicked back streets； the evil bars squatting in the putrid backwaters； bastard splinters of Tokyo's monolithic nature。
There were so many empty spaces in Tori's mind； she could afford little sleep； because in rest she would be forced to look into the emptiness and see； perhaps； what she was not ready to confront。 Instead she walked the line closest to the abyss of death in order to prove to herself that she was still alive。
It was inconceivable to her； for instance； that she might be homesick。 Oh； she missed Greg； but that was a given for her。 It never occurred to her that she might long to see her father again； to gain from him what she never had been able to； a sense of her own worth； a knowledge seen in his eyes； heard in his tone of voice if not directly from his words； that he was proud of her； the way he was proud of Greg。 There had never been room for her in a family fixated on continual praise for Gregory Nunn； pilot； astronaut； and it was far less painful to relinquish all hope than to be forever disappointed。
The fact was； had she been able to admit it to herself； Tori would have seen that she loved her father as she loved Greg。 Both were extraordinary people in much the same way。 But Tori's burning need to be recognized in her own right by her father made it impossible for her to see him with the same objectivity she saw Greg。
In a way； it was odd that she put no blame on her brother for the praise lavished on him。 Shouldn't she see it as his fault that when the family spotlight swung on him； it left her in shadow？ Yet she did not。 Perhaps her love for Greg was so plete that it never occurred to her to hate him。 Certainly she envied his relationship with Ellis Nunn； and yet whatever her lack； she saw it as her father's fault； not Greg's。
But； in another way； it was perfectly understandable that she should hold her brother blameless for the excesses of her family。 Greg was her lone ally in her skirmishes with her parents； and to exclude him from her life would be to threaten her very existence。
But with Greg gone from Diana's Garden； Tori discovered that her desire to get as far away from Los Angeles as possible overshadowed everything else。
Japan。
Where a fire awaited her； burning in the darkness of her night。
Perhaps sensei discerned the blackness inside her； but if so； he made no ment on it。 Sensei was a believer in hard work … in discipline； he once told Tori； is the answer to every problem。
Either he was mistaken or Tori was unable to absorb his teachings deeply enough。 In either case； Tori graduated from his arduous course of training…the only woman to make it all the way through…without having successfully confronted the specters within her own night。
This was the state in which Bernard Godwin found her： dangerous； her nerves hair…trigger fine； walking the edge between trouble and death； and getting a hell of a kick out of it。
In fact； when she remembered the moment of her first meeting with Bernard Godwin； what stuck out most was that she had almost gotten him killed。
He had found her in an akachochin called The Happily Ever After。 The after…hours club was in the wrong end of Nihon…bashi…God knows how Bernard even found it。 Walking into the place was like being sucked into a whirlpool in the center of a cesspit。
A Yakuza underboss approximately as large as Godzilla was hitting on her。 She didn't mind； she liked his tattoos： flames； everywhere flames； eating gods； demons； mythical animals； and fierce swordsmen with indiscriminate greed。 The flames made her think of exorcism； turning filth to oily smoke； purging sacred ground that had been made profane； purifying the night。
Just before Bernard Godwin came down the stairs in The Happily Ever After； she remembered posing the first line of a reply to the letter she had just received from her brother： It's all right； Greg。 I'm doing the best I can。 Smiling up at Godzilla； the Japanese gangster full of fantastic flames。 Yessir； she thought。 He's evil； he's nasty； and he's all mine。
Then Bernard Godwin had introduced himself。 It was not a happy moment； for either Tori or Godzilla。 Neither of them wanted to be interrupted。 Then Bernard Godwin said that he had a proposition for Tori； but first she must e away with him out of this place； and all hell broke loose。
Godzilla might have been huge； but he was astonishingly quick。 This was his turf； and he was nothing if not intensely territorial。 Bernard had muscled in on his property； and Godzilla was enraged。 He displayed his displeasure by picking Bernard up in one meat…hook fist and shaking him until Bernard's teeth rattled。
〃Stop it！〃 Tori said。
Godzilla ignored her。 A small blade snicked into his left hand。 It headed for Bernard's throat。
Tori drove her doubled…up knuckles into Godzilla's sternum while simultaneously smacking him in the groin with her knee。 For a moment nothing happened； then Godzilla's eyes began to water； his mouth flopped open； and he dropped Bernard Godwin to the none too clean floor。
Tori knew her exit cue。 She grabbed Bernard by the back of the neck and got out of there。
Across town in Roppongi； in an infinitely more savory neighborhood； they entered an all…night sushi restaurant。 A sign over the door had imprinted on it the image of a round； spiky fish。
〃You 're buying； 〃 Tori said as they sat down。 〃You owe me。〃
〃It will be a pleasure；〃 Bernard Godwin said； inclining his head in a gesture that seemed both old…fashioned and appropriate。 She was surprised that he appeared none the worse for his ordeal。
Tori ordered for them： bowls of baby eels to start； then an assortment of sushi that included abalone； flying fish roe； and sea urchin。 Lastly； she ordered broiled fugu。 All this was quite deliberate： the Japanese Unique Culture Test。 Tori had been subjected to it on her arrival； she saw no reason why she shouldn't subject Bernard Godwin in the same way。 She had taken him to one of the restaurants licensed to serve blowfish； which； in the wrong hands； could be lethally poisonous。
They were given hot towels。 The hot sake came first； and Tori watched Bernard as he drank his。 They were on their second bottle when the baby eels arrived： tiny white things in a clear broth。 The eels were without doubt disgusting to look at； but really were quite tasty。 Tori ate with gusto； and was mildly disappointed when Bernard dug in without so much as twitching an eyelid。 Oh； well； she thought。 There's plenty more to e。
All the sushi she had ordered was food for which； after a long time； one might possibly acquire a taste。 It was true that many Japanese themselves did not care for sea urchin。 But to impress Westerners as well as to prove their superiority and separate…ness； they ate it anyway； pretending to savor its strong rancid taste。
To her dismay； Bernard tackled the sushi with a good deal of aplomb。 He even asked for more marinated ginger and wasabi； the fiery green horseradish。
〃I once read a report；〃 he told her； 〃that said this ginger was a natural protection from any nasty microorganisms that might be in the raw fish。 Had you heard that also？〃
Tori said she hadn't。
The fugu came； and Tori told him what it was。 Bernard looked at the fish； shrugged； ate it。 When they were both finished with their food； and Tori ordered their sixth bottle of sake； Bernard said； 〃Tell me； young lady； how did I do？〃
〃Pardon me？〃
〃How did I do on the test you just gave me？〃 he said patiently。 〃Did I pass？〃
Tori looked at him for a moment； then laughed until the tears came to her eyes。 〃Jesus Christ；〃 she said； wiping at her eyes； ''you really are the limit。〃
〃Funny；〃 Bernard Godwin said with a serious face； 〃that was just what I was thinking about you。〃
Tori took him back to her apartment； a tiny place in an ugly； colorless building that looked like a cracker box stood on end。 But inside it was fortable； if cramped。
Bernard seemed content to settle in。 He was an exceedingly magnetic man； for he carried with him a singular kind of power。 He reminded her of images she had seen of Julius Caesar： the planular face； dominated by the long patrician nose； the prominent chin； the mander's eyes； so full of good humor as well as power。 It was a good face； strong and at the same time gentle。 It was a glyph which； if you read it correctly； seemed to say； If you are my friend； I will take care of you forever； but if you are my enemy； I will take you down in such a way that you will not even know it's happening。 Much later she would e to see the guile； lurking like a pike in deep water； behind his bright blue eyes。
Tori got a couple of Kirin beers from the half refrigerator； opened them； handed him one。 She liked that Bernard was fortable drinking it from the bottle。 He was dressed in a pair of dark blue trousers； a polo shirt of the
