rj.acrownofswords-第54节

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g　about。　She　told　us　to　go　to　bed　and　be　quick　about　it。〃　Unconsciously　she　stroked　the　blue　fringe　on　her　shawl。　New　Aes　Sedai　almost　always　wore　their　shawls　more　often　than　they　needed　to；　so　Siuan　said。
　　　Giving　them　a　smile　she　hoped　was　weling；　Egwene　took　her　place　behind　the　small　table。　Carefully；　the　chair　tilted　for　a　moment　anyway；　until　she　reached　down　and　pulled　the　leg　straight。　An　edge　of　folded　parchment　peeked　out　from　beneath　the　stone　inkwell。　Her　hands　twitched　toward　it；　but　she　made　them　be　still。　Too　many　sisters　saw　little　need　for　courtesy。　She　would　not　be　one　of　those。　Besides；　these　two　had　a　claim　on　her。
　　　〃I　am　sorry　for　your　difficulties；　daughters。〃　Made　Aes　Sedai　by　her　decree　on　being　raised　Amyrlin；　they　faced　the　same　predicament　as　she；　but　lacking　the　added　shield　of　the　Amyrlin's　stole；　small　shield　that　that　had　proved。　Most　sisters　behaved　as　though　they　were　still　only　Accepted。　What　went　on　inside　the　Ajahs　was　seldom　known　outside；　but　it　was　rumored　that　they　truly　had　had　to　beg　admittance；　and　that　guardians　had　been　named　to　oversee　their　behavior。　No　one　had　ever　heard　the　like；　but　everyone　took　it　for　fact。　She　had　done　them　no　favor。　Another　thing　that　had　been　necessary；　though。　〃I　will　speak　to　Tiana。〃　It　might　do　some　good。　For　a　day；　or　an　hour。
　　　〃Thank　you；　Mother；〃　Theodrin　said；　〃but　there　is　no　need　to　bother　yourself。〃　Still；　she　also　touched　her　shawl；　hands　lingering。　〃Tiana　wanted　to　know　why　we　were　up　so　late；〃　she　added　after　a　moment；　〃but　we　didn't　tell　her。〃
　　　〃There　was　no　need　for　secrecy；　daughter。〃　A　pity　they　had　not　found　a　witness；　though。　Moghedien's　rescuer　would　remain　a　shadow　half…glimpsed。　Always　the　most　frightening　sort。　She　glanced　at　the　tiny　corner　of　parchment；　itching　to　read　it。　Maybe　Siuan　had　discovered　something。　〃Thank　you　both。〃　Theodrin　recognized　a　dismissal　and　made　her　manners　to　go；　but　stopped　when　Faolain　remained　where　she　was。
　　　〃I　wish　I　had　held　the　Oath　Rod　already；〃　Faolain　told　Egwene　in　tones　of　frustration；　〃so　you　could　know　what　I　say　is　true。〃
　　　〃This　isn't　the　time　to　bother　the　Amyrlin；〃　Theodrin　began；　then　folded　her　hands　and　turned　her　attention　to　Egwene。　Patience　blended　with　something　else　on　her　face。　Clearly　the　stronger　of　the　two　in　the　Power；　she　always　took　the　lead；　yet　this　time　she　was　prepared　to　step　back。　In　aid　of　what；　Egwene　wondered。
　　　〃It　isn't　the　Oath　Rod　that　makes　a　woman　Aes　Sedai；　daughter。〃　Whatever　some　believed。　〃Speak　the　truth　to　me；　and　I　will　believe　it。〃
　　　〃I　don't　like　you。〃　Faolain's　mop　of　dark　curls　swayed　as　she　shook　her　head　for　emphasis。　〃You　must　know　that。　You　probably　think　I　was　mean　when　you　were　a　novice；　when　you　came　back　to　the　White　Tower　after　running　away；　but　I　still　believe　you　didn't　get　half　the　punishment　you　should　have。　Maybe　my　admitting　it　will　help　you　know　I　speak　the　truth。　It　isn't　as　though　we　have　no　choice　even　now。　Romanda　offered　to　take　us　under　her　protection；　and　so　did　Lelaine。　They　said　they'd　see　we　were　tested　and　raised　properly　as　soon　we　return　to　the　Tower。〃　Her　face　grew　angrier；　and　Theodrin　rolled　her　eyes　and　broke　in。
　　　〃Mother；　what　Faolain　is　fumbling　all　around　without　getting　to　the　point　is　that　we　didn't　attach　ourselves　to　you　because　we　had　no　choice。　And　we　didn't　do　it　in　gratitude　for　the　shawl。〃　She　pursed　her　lips　as　if　thinking　that　raising　them　Aes　Sedai　in　the　manner　Egwene　had　was　not　really　a　gift　to　inspire　much　gratitude。
　　　〃Then　why？〃　Egwene　asked；　leaning　back。　The　chair　shifted；　but　held。
　　　Faolain　jumped　in　before　Theodrin　could　more　than　open　her　mouth。　〃Because　you　are　the　Amyrlin　Seat。〃　She　still　sounded　angry。　〃We　can　see　what　happens。　Some　of　the　sisters　think　you're　Sheriam's　puppet；　but　most　believe　Romanda　or　Lelaine　tells　you　where　and　when　to　step。　It　is　not　right。〃　Her　face　was　twisted　in　a　scowl。　〃I　left　the　Tower　because　what　Elaida　did　wasn't　right。　They　raised　you　Amyrlin。　So　I　am　yours。　If　you　will　have　me。　If　you　can　trust　me　without　the　Oath　Rod。　You　must　believe　me。〃
　　　〃And　you；　Theodrin？〃　Egwene　said　quickly；　schooling　her　face。　Knowing　how　the　sisters　felt　was　bad　enough；　hearing　it　again　was。。。　painful。
　　　〃I　am　yours；　too；〃　Theodrin　sighed；　〃if　you'll　have　me。〃　She　spread　her　hands　disparagingly。　〃We　are　not　much；　I　know；　but　it　looks　as　though　we　are　all　you　have。　I　must　admit　I　was　hesitant；　Mother。　Faolain　is　the　one　who　kept　insisting　we　do　this。　Frankly。。。　〃　She　settled　her　shawl　again　unnecessarily；　and　her　voice　firmed。　〃Frankly；　I　do　not　see　how　you　can　win　out　over　Romanda　and　Lelaine。　But　we　are　trying　to　behave　as　Aes　Sedai；　even　though　we　aren't　really；　yet。　We　will　not　be　that；　Mother；　whatever　you　say；　until　the　other　sisters　see　us　as　Aes　Sedai；　and　that　won't　happen　until　we　have　been　tested　and　have　sworn　the　Three　Oaths。〃
　　　Plucking　the　folded　scrap　of　parchment　out　from　under　the　inkwell；　Egwene　fingered　it　while　she　thought。　Faolain　was　the　driving　force　behind　this？　That　seemed　as　unlikely　as　a　wolf　befriending　the　shepherd。　She　suspected　〃dislike〃　was　a　mild　word　for　what　Faolain　felt　for　her；　and　the　woman　must　know　Egwene　hardly　saw　her　as　a　potential　friend。　If　they　had　accepted　either　Sitter's　arrangement；　mentioning　the　offer　might　be　a　good　means　of　disarming　her　suspicions。
　　　〃Mother；〃　Faolain　said；　and　stopped；　looking　surprised　at　herself。　It　was　the　first　time　she　had　addressed　Egwene　so。　Drawing　a　deep　breath；　she　went　on。　〃Mother；　I　know　you　must　have　a　hard　time　believing　us；　since　we've　never　held　the　Oath　Rod；　but　…　〃
　　　〃I　wish　you　would　stop　bringing　that　up；〃　Egwene　said。　It　was　well　to　be　careful；　but　she　could　not　afford　to　refuse　every　offer　of　help　for　fear　of　plots。　〃Do　you　think　everybody　believes　Aes　Sedai　because　of　the　Three　Oaths？　People　who　know　Aes　Sedai　know　a　sister　can　stand　truth　on　its　head　and　turn　it　inside　out　if　she　chooses　to。　Myself；　I　think　the　Three　Oaths　hurt　as　much　as　they　help；　maybe　more。　I　will　believe　you　until　I　learn　you've　lied　to　me；　and　I　will　trust　you　until　you　show　you　don't　deserve　it。　The　same　way　everybody　else　does　with　one　another。〃　e　to　think　of　it；　the　Oaths　did　not　really　change　that。　You　still　had　to　take　a　sister　on　trust　most　of　the　time。　The　Oaths　just　made　people　warier　about　it；　wondering　whether　and　how　they　were　being　manipulated。　〃Another　thing。　You　two　are　Aes　Sedai。　I　don't　want　to　hear　any　more　about　having　to　be　tested；　or　hold　the　Oath　Rod；　or　any　of　it。　Bad　enough　you　have　to　face　that　nonsense　without　parroting　it　yourselves。　Have　I　made　myself　clear？〃
　　　The　two　women　standing　on　the　other　side　of　the　table　murmured　hastily　that　she　had；　then　exchanged　long　looks。　This　time；　it　was　Faolain　who　appeared　indecisive。　Finally；　Theodrin　glided　around　to　kneel　beside　Egwene's　chair　and　kiss　her　ring。　〃Under　the　Light　and　by　my　hope　of　salvation　and　rebirth；　I；　Theodrin　Dabei；　swear　fealty　to　you；　Egwene　al'Vere；　to　faithfully　serve　and　obey　on　pain　of　my　life　and　honor。〃　She　looked　at　Egwene　questioningly。
　　　It　was　all　Egwene　could　do　to　nod。　This　was　no　part　of　Aes　Sedai　ritual；　this　was　how　noble　swore　to　ruler。　Even　some　rulers　did　not　receive　so　strong　an　oath。　Yet　no　sooner　had　Theodrin　risen　with　a　relieved　smile　than　Faolain　took　her　place。
　　　〃Under　the　Light　and　by　my　hope　of　salvation　and　rebirth；　I；　Faolain　Orande。。。　〃
　　　All　that　she　could　have　wished　for　and　more。　From　any　other　sisters；　at　least；　who　were　not　just　as　likely　to　be　sent　to　fetch　another's　dustcloak　if　the　wind　rose。
　　　When　Faolain　finished；　she　remained　kneeling；　but　stiffly　upright。　〃Mother；　there　is　the　matter　of　my　penance。　For　what　I　said　to　you；　about　not　liking　you。　I　will　set　it　myself；　if　you　wish；　but　it　is　your　right。〃　Her　voice　was　as　rigid　as　her　posture；　yet　not　at　all　fearful。　She　looked　ready　to　stare　down　a　lion。　Eager　to；　in　fact。
　　　Biting　her　lip；　Egwene　nearly　laughed　aloud。　Keeping　her　face　smooth　took　effort；　maybe　they　would　take　it　for　a　hiccough。　However　much　they　claimed　they　were　not　really　Aes　Sedai；　Faolain　had　just　proved　how　much　of　one　she　was。　Sometimes　sisters　set　themselves　penances；　in　order　to　maintain　the　proper　balance　between　pride　and　humility　…　that　balance　was　much　prized；　supposedly；　and　the　only　reason　given　usually　…　but　certainly　none　sought　to　have　one　imposed。　Penance　set　by　another　could　be　quite　harsh；　and　the　Amyrlin　was　supposed　to　be　harder　in　this　than　the　Ajahs。　Either　way；　though；　many　sisters　made　a　haughty　display　of　submission　to　the　greater　will　of　the　Aes　Sedai；　an　arrogant　showing　of　their　lack　of　arrogance。　The　pride　of　humility；　Siuan　called　it。　She　considered　telling　the　woman　to　eat　a　handful　of　soap　just　to　see　her　expression　…　Faolain　had　a　mean　tongue　…　but　instead。。。
　　　〃I　don't　hand　out　penance　for　telling　the　truth；　daughter。　Or　for　not　liking　me。　Dislike　to　your　heart's　content；　so　long　as　you　keep　your　oath。〃　Not　that　anyone　except　a　Darkfriend　would　break　that　particular　oath。　Still；　there　were　ways　around　almost　anything。　But　weak　sticks　were　better　than　none；　when　you　were　fending　off　a　bear。
　　　Faolain's　eyes　widened；　an