rj.acrownofswords-第35节

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d　stayed　outside。
　　　〃Rand；　the　Aes　Sedai。。。　〃　A　smart　man　would　let　this　lie；　probably。　He　had　never　claimed　to　be　particularly　smart；　though。　〃The　Wise　Ones　are　ready　to　skin　them　alive；　or　near　enough。　You　can't　let　them　be　harmed；　Rand。〃　In　the　corridor；　Sulin　turned　to　study　him　through　the　doorway。
　　　The　man　he　thought　he　knew　laughed；　a　wheezing　sound。　〃We　all　have　to　take　risks；〃　he　repeated。
　　　〃I　won't　let　them　be　hurt；　Rand。〃
　　　Cold　blue　eyes　met　his　gaze。　〃You　won't　let　it？〃
　　　〃I　won't；〃　Perrin　told　him　levelly。　He　did　not　flinch　from　that　stare；　either。　〃They　are　prisoners；　and　no　threat。　They're　women。〃
　　　〃They　are　Aes　Sedai。〃　Rand's　voice　was　so　like　Aram's　back　at　Dumai's　Wells　that　it　nearly　took　Perrin's　breath。
　　　〃Rand　…　〃
　　　〃I　do　what　I　have　to　do；　Perrin。〃　For　a　moment　he　was　the　old　Rand；　not　liking　what　was　happening。　For　a　moment　he　looked　tired　to　death。　A　moment　only。　Then　he　was　the　new　Rand　again；　hard　enough　to　mark　steel。　〃I　won't　harm　any　Aes　Sedai　who　doesn't　deserve　it；　Perrin。　I　can't　promise　more。　Since　you　don't　want　the　army；　I　can　use　you　elsewhere。　Just　as　well；　really。　I　wish　I　could　let　you　rest　longer　than　a　day　or　two；　but　I　can't。　There's　no　time。　No　time；　and　we　must　do　what　we　must。　Forgive　me　for　interrupting　you。〃　He　sketched　a　bow；　one　hand　on　the　hilt　of　his　sword。　〃Faile。〃
　　　Perrin　tried　to　catch　his　arm；　but　he　was　out　of　the　room；　the　door　closing　behind　him；　before　Perrin　could　move。　Rand　was　not　really　Rand　anymore；　it　seemed。　A　day　or　two？　Where　in　the　Light　did　Rand　mean　him　to　go；　if　not　to　the　army　gathering　down　on　the　Plains　of　Maredo？
　　　〃My　husband；〃　Faile　breathed；　〃you　have　the　courage　of　three　men。　And　the　sense　of　a　child　on　leading　strings。　Why　is　it　that　as　a　man's　courage　goes　up；　his　sense　goes　down？〃
　　　Perrin　grunted　indignantly。　He　refrained　from　mentioning　women　who　set　themselves　to　spy　on　people　who　had　mitted　murders　and　almost　certainly　knew　they　were　spying。　Women　always　talked　about　how　logical　they　were　pared　to　men；　but　for　himself；　he　had　seen　precious　little　of　it。
　　　〃Well；　perhaps　I　don't　really　want　the　answer　even　if　you　know　it。〃　Stretching　with　her　arms　over　her　head；　she　gave　a　throaty　laugh。　〃Besides；　I　don't　mean　to　let　him　spoil　the　mood。　I　still　feel　as　forward　as　a　farmgirl　at　…　Why　are　you　laughing？　Stop　laughing　at　me；　Perrin　t'Bashere　Aybara！　Stop　it；　I　say；　you　uncouth　oaf！　If　you　don't　…　〃
　　　The　only　way　to　put　an　end　to　it　was　to　kiss　her。　In　her　arms　he　forgot　Rand　and　Aes　Sedai　and　battles。　Where　Faile　was；　was　home。
　　　
　　　
Chapter　7　
（Lion　Rampant）　
Pitfalls　and　Tripwires　
　　　
　　　Rand　felt　the　Dragon　Scepter　in　his　hand；　felt　every　line　of　the　carved　Dragons　against　his　heron…branded　palm　as　clearly　as　if　he　were　running　his　fingers　over　them；　yet　it　seemed　someone　else's　hand。　If　a　blade　cut　it　off；　he　would　feel　the　pain　…　and　keep　going。　It　would　be　another's　pain。
　　　He　floated　in　the　Void；　surrounded　by　emptiness　beyond　knowing；　and　saidin　filled　him；　trying　to　grind　him　to　dust　beneath　steel…shattering　cold　and　heat　where　stone　would　flash　to　flame；　carrying　the　Dark　One's　taint　on　its　flow；　forcing　corruption　into　his　bones。　Into　his　soul；　he　feared　sometimes。　It　did　not　make　him　feel　so　sick　to　his　stomach　as　it　once　had。　He　feared　that　even　more。　And　larded　through　that　torrent　of　fire；　ice　and　filth　…　life。　That　was　the　best　word。　Saidin　tried　to　destroy　him。　Saidin　filled　him　to　overflowing　with　vitality。　It　threatened　to　bury　him；　and　it　enticed　him。　The　war　for　survival；　the　struggle　to　avoid　being　consumed；　magnified　the　joy　of　pure　life。　So　sweet　even　with　the　foulness。　What　would　it　be　like；　clean？　Beyond　imagining。　He　wanted　to　draw　more；　draw　all　there　was。
　　　There　lay　the　deadly　seduction。　One　slip；　and　the　ability　to　channel　would　be　seared　out　of　him　forever。　One　slip　and　his　mind　was　gone；　if　he　was　not　simply　destroyed　on　the　spot；　and　maybe　everything　around　him　too。　It　was　not　madness；　focusing　on　the　fight　for　existence；　it　was　like　highwalking　blindfolded　over　a　pit　full　of　sharpened　stakes；　basking　in　so　pure　a　sense　of　life　that　thinking　of　giving　it　up　was　like　thinking　of　a　world　forever　in　shades　of　gray。　Not　madness。
　　　His　thoughts　whirled　through　his　dance　with　saidin；　slid　across　the　Void。　Annoura；　peering　at　him　with　that　Aes　Sedai　gaze。　What　was　Berelain　playing　at？　She　had　never　mentioned　an　Aes　Sedai　advisor。　And　those　other　Aes　Sedai　in　Cairhien。　Where　had　they　e　from；　and　why？　The　rebels　outside　the　city。　What　had　emboldened　them　to　move？　What　did　they　intend　now？　How　could　he　stop　them；　or　use　them？　He　was　being　good　at　using　people；　sometimes　he　made　himself　sick。　Sevanna　and　the　Shaido。　Rhuarc　already　had　scouts　on　the　way　to　Kinslayer's　Dagger；　but　at　best　they　could　only　find　out　where　and　when。　The　Wise　Ones　who　could　find　out　why；　would　not。　There　were　a　lot　of　why's　connected　to　Sevanna。　Elayne；　and　Aviendha。　No；　he　would　not　think　of　them。　No　thoughts　of　them。　None。　Perrin；　and　Faile。　A　fierce　woman；　falcon　by　name　and　nature。　Had　she　really　attached　herself　to　Colavaere　just　to　gather　evidence？　She　would　try　to　protect　Perrin　if　the　Dragon　Reborn　fell。　Protect　him　from　the　Dragon　Reborn；　should　she　decide　it　necessary；　her　loyalties　were　to　Perrin；　but　she　would　decide　for　herself　how　to　meet　them。　Faile　was　no　woman　to　do　meekly　as　her　husband　told　her；　if　such　a　woman　existed。　Golden　eyes；　staring　challenge　and　defiance。　Why　was　Perrin　so　vehement　about　the　Aes　Sedai？　He　had　been　a　long　time　with　Kiruna　and　her　panions　on　the　road　to　Dumai's　Wells。　Could　Aes　Sedai　really　do　with　him　what　everybody　feared？　Aes　Sedai。　He　shook　his　head　without　being　aware。　Never　again。　Never！　To　trust　was　to　be　betrayed；　trust　was　pain。
　　　He　tried　to　push　that　thought　away。　It　came　a　little　too　close　to　raving。　Nobody　could　live　without　giving　trust　somewhere。　Just　not　to　Aes　Sedai。　Mat；　Perrin。　If　he　could　not　trust　them。。。　Min。　Never　a　thought　of　not　trusting　Min。　He　wished　she　were　with　him；　instead　of　snugged　in　her　bed。　All　those　days　a　prisoner；　days　of　worry　…　more　for　him　than　herself；　if　he　knew　her　…　days　of　being　questioned　by　Galina　and　ill…treated　when　her　answers　failed　to　please　…　unconsciously　he　ground　his　teeth　…　all　of　that；　and　the　strain　of　being　Healed　on　top　of　it；　had　caught　up　with　her　at　last。　She　had　stayed　by　his　side　until　her　legs　gave　way；　and　he　had　to　carry　her　to　her　bedchamber；　with　her　sleepily　protesting　all　the　way　that　he　needed　her　with　him。　No　Min　here；　no　forting　presence　to　make　him　laugh；　make　him　forget　the　Dragon　Reborn。　Only　the　war　with　saidin；　and　the　whirlwind　of　his　thoughts；　and。。。
　　　They　must　be　done　away　with。　You　must　do　it。　Don't　you　remember　the　last　time？　That　place　by　the　wells　was　a　pittance。　Cities　burned　whole　out　of　the　earth　were　nothing。　We　destroyed　the　world！　DO　YOU　HEAR　ME？　THEY　HAVE　TO　BE　KILLED；　WIPED　FROM　THE　FACE。。。！
　　　Not　his；　that　voice　shouting　inside　his　skull。　Not　Rand　al'Thor。　Lews　Therin　Telamon；　more　than　three　thousand　years　dead。　And　talking　in　Rand　al'Thor's　head。　The　Power　often　drew　him　out　of　his　hiding　place　in　the　shadows　of　Rand's　mind。　Sometimes　Rand　wondered　how　that　could　be。　He　was　Lews　Therin　reborn；　the　Dragon　Reborn；　no　denying　that；　but　everybody　was　someone　reborn；　a　hundred　someones；　a　thousand；　more。　That　was　how　the　Pattern　worked；　everyone　died　and　was　reborn；　again　and　again　as　the　Wheel　turned；　forever　without　end。　But　nobody　else　talked　with　who　they　used　to　be。　Nobody　else　had　voices　in　their　heads。　Except　madmen。
　　　What　about　me；　Rand　thought。　One　hand　tightened　on　the　Dragon　Scepter；　the　other　on　his　sword　hilt。　What　about　you？　How　are　we　different　from　them？
　　　There　was　only　silence。　Often　enough；　Lews　Therin　did　not　answer。　Maybe　it　had　been　better　when　he　never　had。
　　　Are　you　real？　the　voice　said　at　last；　wonderingly。　That　denial　of　Rand's　existence　was　as　usual　as　refusing　to　answer。　Am　I？　I　spoke　to　someone。　I　think　I　did。　Inside　a　box。　A　chest。　Wheezing　laughter；　soft。　Am　I　dead；　or　mad；　or　both？　No　matter。　I　am　surely　damned。　I　am　damned；　and　this　is　the　Pit　of　Doom；　I　am。。。　d…damned；　wild；　that　laughing；　now；　and　t…this　…　is　the　P…Pit　of　…
　　　Rand　muted　the　voice　to　an　insect's　buzz；　something　he　had　learned　while　cramped　into　that　chest。　Alone；　in　the　dark。　Just　him；　and　the　pain；　and　the　thirst；　and　the　voice　of　a　long…dead　madman。　The　voice　had　been　a　fort　sometimes；　his　only　panion。　His　friend。　Something　flashed　in　his　mind。　Not　images；　just　flickers　of　color　and　motion。　For　some　reason　they　made　him　think　of　Mat；　and　Perrin。　The　flashes　had　begun　inside　the　chest；　them　and　a　thousand　more　hallucinations。　In　the　chest；　where　Galina　and　Erian　and　Katerine　and　the　rest　stuffed　him　every　day　after　he　was　beaten。　He　shook　his　head。　No。　He　was　not　in　the　chest　anymore。　His　fingers　ached；　clenched　around　scepter　and　hilt。　Only　memories　remained；　and　memories　had　no　force。　He　was　not　…
　　　〃If　we　must　make　this　journey　before　you　eat；　let　us　make　it。　The　evening　meal　is　long　finished　for　everyone　else。〃
　　　Rand　blinked；　and　Sulin　stepped　back　from　his　stare。