cb.booksofblood2-第17节
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'And what do I offer you in return for such largesse?'
'I want to learn …'
'Learn?'
'… how to use power。'
She was stranger and stranger; this one。
'What do you mean?' he replied; playing for time。 He hadn't got the measure of her; she vexed him; confounded him。
'Shall I recite it for you again; in bourgeois?' she said; playing insolence with such a smile he almost felt attractive again。
'No need。 You want to learn to use power。 I suppose I could teach you …'
'I know you can。'
'You realize I'm a married man。 Virginia and I have been together eighteen years。'
'You have three sons; four houses; a maid…servant called Mirabelle。 You loathe New York; and you love Bangkok; your shirt collar is 161/2; your favourite colour green。'
'Turquoise。'
'You're getting subtler in your old age。'
'I'm not old。'
'Eighteen years a married man。 It ages you prematurely。'
'Not me。'
'Prove it。'
'How?'
'Take me。'
'What?'
'Take me。'
'Here?'
'Draw the blinds; lock the door; turn off the puter terminal; and take me。 I dare you。'
'Dare?'
How long was it since anyone had dared him to do anything?
'Dare?'
He was excited。 He hadn't been so excited in a dozen years。 He drew the blinds; locked the door; turned off the video display of his fortunes。
My God; she thought; I've got him。
It wasn't an easy passion; not like that with Vassi。 For one thing; Pettifer was a clumsy; uncultured lover。 For another; he was too nervous of his wife to be a wholly successful adulterer。 He thought he saw Virginia everywhere: in the lobbies of the hotels they took a room in for the afternoon; in cabs cruising the street outside their rendezvous; once even (he swore the likeness was exact) dressed as a waitress; and swabbing down a table in a restaurant。 All fictional fears; but they dampened the spontaneity of the romance somewhat。
Still; she was learning from him。 He was as brilliant a potentate as he was inept a lover。 She learned how to be powerful without exercising power; how to keep one's self uncontaminated by the foulness all charisma stirs up in the uncharismatic; how to make the plain decisions plainly; how to be merciless。 Not that she needed much education in that particular quarter。 Perhaps it was more truthful to say he taught her never to regret her absence of instinctive passion; but to judge with her intellect alone who deserved extinction and who might be numbered amongst the righteous。
Not once did she show herself to him; though she used her skills in the most secret of ways to tease pleasure out of his stale nerves。
In the fourth week of their affair they were lying side by side in a lilac room; while the mid…afternoon traffic growled in the street below。 It had been a bad bout of sex; he was nervous; and no tricks would coax him out of himself。 It was over quickly; almost without heat。
He was going to tell her something。 She knew it: it was waiting; this revelation; somewhere at the back of his throat。 Turning to him she massaged his temples with her mind; and soothed him into speech。
He was about to spoil the day。
He was about to spoil his career。
He was about; God help him; to spoil his life。
'I have to stop seeing you;' he said。
He wouldn't dare; she thought。
'I'm not sure what I know about you; or rather; what I think I know about you; but it makes me。 。 。 cautious of you; J。 Do you understand?'
'No。'
'I'm afraid I suspect you of。 。 。 crimes。'
'Crimes?'
'You have a history。'
'Who's been rooting?' she asked。 'Surely not Virginia?'
'No; not Virginia; she's beyond curiosity。'
'Who then?'
'It's not your business。'
'Who?'
She pressed lightly on his temples。 It hurt him and he winced。
'What's wrong?' she asked。
'My head's aching。'
'Tension; that's all; just tension。 I can take it away; Titus。' She touched her fingers to his forehead; relaxing her hold on him。 He sighed as relief came。
'Is that better?'
'Yes。'
'Who's been snooping; Titus?'
'I have a personal secretary。 Lyndon。 You've heard me speak of him。 He knew about our relationship from the beginning。 Indeed; he books the hotels; arranges my cover stories for Virginia。'
There was a sort of boyishness in this speech; that was rather touching。 As though he was embarrassed to leave her; rather than heartbroken。 'Lyndon's quite a miracle…worker。 He's maneuvered a lot of things to make it easier between us。 So he's got nothing against you。 It's just that he happened to see one of the photographs I took of you。 I gave them to him to shred。'
'Why?'
'I shouldn't have taken them; it was a mistake。 Virginia might have。。 。' He paused; began again。 'Anyhow; he recognized you; although he couldn't remember where he'd seen you before。'
'But he remembered eventually。'
'He used to work for one of my newspapers; as a gossip columnist。 That's how he came to be my personal assistant。 He remembered you from your previous incarnation; as it were。 Jacqueline Ess; the wife of Benjamin Ess; deceased。'
'Deceased。'
'He brought me some other photographs; not as pretty as the ones of you。'
'Photographs of what?'
'Your home。 And the body of your husband。 They said it was a body; though in God's name there was precious little human being left in it。'
'There was precious little to start with;' she said simply; thinking of Ben's cold eyes; and colder hands。 Fit only to be shut up; and forgotten。
'What happened?'
'To Ben? He was killed。'
'How?' Did his voice waver a little?
'Very easily。' She had risen from the bed; and was standing by the window。 Strong summer light carved its way through the slats of the blind; ridges of shadow and sunlight charting the contours of her face。
'You did it。'
'Yes。' He had taught her to be plain。 'Yes; I did it。'
He had taught her an economy of threat too。 'Leave me; and I'll do the same again。'
He shook his head。 'Never。 You wouldn't dare。'
He was standing in front of her now。
'We must understand each other; J。 I am powerful and I am pure。 Do you see? My public face isn't even touched by a glimmer of scandal。 I could afford a mistress; a dozen mistresses; to be revealed。 But a murderess? No; that would spoil my life。'
'Is he blackmailing you? This Lyndon?'
He stared at the day through the blinds; with a crippled look on his face。 There was a twitch in the nerves of his cheek; under his left eye。
'Yes; if you must know;' he said in a dead voice。 'The bastard has me for all I'm worth。'
'I see。'
'And if he can guess; so can others。 You understand?'
'I'm strong: you're strong。 We can twist them around our little fingers。'
'No。'
'Yes! I have skills; Titus。'
'I don't want to know。'
'You will know;' she said。
She looked at him; taking hold of his hands without touching him。 He watched; all astonished eyes; as his unwilling hands were raised to touch her face; to stroke her hair with the fondest of gestures。 She made him run his trembling fingers across her breasts; taking them with more ardour than he could summon on his own initiative。
'You are always too tentative; Titus;' she said; making him paw her almost to the point of bruising。 'This is how I like it。' Now his hands were lower; fetching out a different look from her face。 Tides were moving over it; she was all alive …'Deeper …'
His finger intruded; his thumb stroked。
'I like that; Titus。 Why can't you do that to me without me demanding?'
He blushed。 He didn't like to talk about what they did together。 She coaxed him deeper; whispering。
'I won't break; you know。 Virginia may be Dresden china; I'm not。 I want feeling; I want something that I can remember you by when I'm not with you。 Nothing is everlasting; is it? But I want something to keep me warm through the night。'
He was sinking to his knees; his hands kept; by her design; on her and in her; still roving like two lustful crabs。 His body was awash with sweat。 It was; she thought; the first time she'd ever seen him sweat。
'Don't kill me;' he whimpered。
'I could wipe you out。' Wipe; she thought; then put the image out of her mind before she did him some harm。
'I know。 I know;' he said。 'You can kill me easily。'
He was crying。 My God; she thought; the great man is at my feet; sobbing like a baby。 What can I learn of power from this puerile performance? She plucked the tears off his cheeks; using rather more strength than the task required。 His skin reddened under her gaze。
'Let me be; J。 I can't help you。 I'm useless to you。'
It was true。 He was absolutely useless。 Contemptuously; she let his hands go。 They fell limply by his sides。
'Don't ever try and find me; Titus。 You understand? Don't ever send your minions after me to preserve your reputation; because I will be more merciless than you've ever been。'
He said nothing; just knelt there; facing the window; while she washed her face; drank the coffee they'd ordered; and left。
Lyndon was surprised to find the door of his office ajar。 It was only seven…thirty…six。 None of the secretaries would be in for another hour。 Clearly one of the cleaners had been remiss; leaving the door unlocked。 He'd find out who: sack her。
He pushed the door open。
Jacquel