anner.bloodandgold(v2)-第103节

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　my　palace；　and　I　shall　deal　with　Arjun　as　best　as　I　can　afterwards。〃
　　　〃You　can't　do　such　a　thing；〃　she　said　sharply。　〃Marius；　I've　been　with　him　for　hundreds　of　years。　You　think　you　can　simply　e　between　us？〃
　　　〃I　want　you；　Pandora。　I　shall　settle　for　nothing　else。　And　if　such　a　time　es　that　you　want　to　leave　me…。〃
　　　〃Yes；　and　what　if　it　does　e；〃　she　said　angrily；　〃then　what　shall　I　do　when　there　is　no　Arjun　on　account　of　you！〃
　　　I　fell　silent。　I　was　in　a　rage。　She　was　staring　at　me　intently。　Her　face　was　full　of　feeling。　Her　breast　heaved　under　the　tight　satin。
　　　〃Do　you　love　me？〃　I　demanded。
　　　〃pletely；〃　she　said　in　her　angry　voice。
　　　〃Then　you　are　ing　with　me！〃
　　　I　took　her　by　the　hand。
　　　No　one　moved　to　stop　us　as　we　left　the　palace。
　　　As　soon　as　I　had　her　in　the　carriage；　I　kissed　her　wantonly　as　mortals　kiss　and　wanted　to　sink　my　teeth　into　her　throat　but　she　forbade　it。
　　　〃Let　me　have　that　intimacy！〃　I　begged。　〃For　the　love　of　Heaven；　Pandora；　it's　Marius　who　is　speaking　to　you。　Listen　to　me。　Let　us　share　blood　and　blood。〃
　　　〃Don't　you　think　I　want　to？〃　she　asked。　〃I'm　afraid。〃
　　　〃Afraid　of　what？〃　I　demanded。　〃Tell　me　what　you　fear。　I'll　make　it　vanish。〃
　　　The　carriage　rolled　on　out　of　Dresden　and　through　the　forest　towards　my　palace。
　　　〃Oh；　but　you　won't；〃　she　replied。　〃You　can't。　Don't　you　understand；　Marius；　you're　the　same　being　you　were　in　those　times　when　we　were　first　together。　You're　strong　and　spirited　as　you　were　then；　and　I'm　not。　Marius；　he　takes　care　of　me。〃
　　　〃Takes　care　of　you？　Pandora；　this　is　what　you　want！　I'll　do　it。　I　shall　take　care　of　every　tiny　detail　of　your　entire　existence　as　though　you　were　my　daughter！　Only　give　me　the　chance。　Give　me　the　chance　to　restore　in　love　what　was　lost　to　us。〃
　　　We　had　reached　my　gates；　and　my　servants　were　opening　them。　We　were　about　to　enter　when　she　signaled　to　me　that　I　must　hold　the　coach。　She　was　looking　out　the　window。　She　was　looking　up　at　the　windows　of　the　palace。　Perhaps　she　could　see　the　pavilion。
　　　I　did　as　she　asked。　I　saw　that　she　was　paralyzed　with　fear。　There　was　no　disguising　it。　She　stared　at　the　palace　as　though　it　were　full　of　menace。
　　　〃What　in　the　name　of　Heaven　can　it　be？〃　I　asked。　〃Whatever　it　is　that　frightens　you；　tell　me。　Pandora；　there　is　nothing　that　can't　be　changed。　Tell　me。〃
　　　〃Oh；　you　are　so　violent　in　your　temper；〃　she　said　in　a　whisper。　〃Can't　you　guess　what　reduces　me　to　this　abominable　weakness？〃
　　　〃No；〃　I　said。　〃I　know　only　I　love　you　with　my　whole　heart。　I've　found　you　again　and　I'll　do　anything　to　keep　you。〃
　　　Her　eyes　remained　fixed　on　the　palace。
　　　〃Even　give　up　the　female　panion；〃　she　asked；　〃who　is　inside　this　very　house　waiting　for　you？〃
　　　I　didn't　answer。
　　　〃I　saw　her　at　the　ball；〃　she　said；　her　eyes　glassy；　her　voice　quivering。　〃I　saw　her　and　knew　what　she　was；　quite　powerful；　quite　graceful。　I　never　guessed　she　was　your　lover。　But　now　I　know　that　she　is。　I　can　hear　her　inside。　I　can　hear　her　hopes　and　dreams　and　how　they　are　pinned　on　you。〃
　　　〃Stop　it；　Pandora。　It　isn't　necessary　that　I　give　her　up。　We　are　not　mortals！　We　can　live　together。〃
　　　I　took　her　by　the　arms。　I　shook　her。　Her　hair　did　e　loose　and　then　violently　and　cruelly　I　pulled　at　it；　and　I　buried　my　face　in　her　hair。
　　　〃Pandora；　if　you　require　this　of　me；　I'll　do　it。　Only　give　me　time；　give　me　time　to　make　certain　that　Bianca　is　where　she　might　survive　well　and　happy。　I'll　do　it　for　you；　do　you　understand；　if　only　you'll　stop　fighting　me！〃
　　　I　drew　back。　She　appeared　dazed　and　cold。　Her　lovely　hair　spilled　down　on　her　shoulders。
　　　〃What　is　it？〃　she　asked　in　a　low　sluggish　voice。　〃Why　do　you　look　at　me　this　way？〃
　　　I　was　on　the　edge　of　tears；　but　I　stopped　them。
　　　〃Because　I　imagined；〃　I　said；　〃that　this　meeting　would　be　so　very　different。　And　I　did　think　that　you　would　e　with　me　willingly。　And　I　did　think　that　we　two　could　live　in　harmony　with　Bianca。　I　believed　these　things。　I　believed　them　for　a　long　time。　And　now　I　sit　with　you　here　and　all　is　argument　and　torment。〃
　　　〃That's　all　it　ever　was；　Marius；〃　she　replied　in　her　low　sad　voice。　〃That's　why　you　left　me。〃
　　　〃No；〃　I　said。　〃That's　not　so。　Pandora；　ours　was　a　great　love。　You　must　acknowledge　it。　There　was　a　terrible　parting；　yes；　but　we　had　a　great　love；　and　we　can　have　it　again　if　we　reach　for　it。〃
　　　She　gazed　at　the　house；　then　back　at　me　almost　furtively。　　Something　quickened　in　her　and　she　suddenly　gripped　my　arm　with　white　knuckles。　There　came　that　look　of　terrible　fear　again。
　　　〃e　into　the　house　with　me；〃　I　said。　〃Meet　Bianca。　Take　her　hands　in　yours。　Pandora；　listen　to　me。　Stay　in　the　house　while　I　go　to　settle　things　with　Arjun。　I　won't　be　long；　I　promise　you。〃
　　　〃No；〃　she　cried。　〃Don't　you　understand？　I　can't　go　into　this　house。　It　has　nothing　to　do　with　your　Bianca。〃
　　　〃What　then？　What　now？　What　more！〃　I　demanded。
　　　〃It's　the　sound　I　hear；　the　sound　of　their　hearts　beating！〃
　　　〃The　King　and　the　Queen！　Yes；　they　are　inside。　They　are　deep　within　the　Earth；　Pandora。　They　are　as　still　and　silent　as　always。　You　need　not　even　see　them。〃
　　　A　look　of　pure　terror　infected　her　features。　I　put　my　arms　around　her；　but　she　only　looked　away。
　　　〃As　still　and　silent　as　always；〃　she　gasped。　〃Surely　that　can't　be。　Not　after　all　this　time。　Marius！〃
　　　〃Oh；　but　it　is；〃　I　said。　〃And　to　you　it　should　be　nothing。　You　needn't　go　down　the　steps　to　the　shrine。　It　is　my　duty。　Pandora；　stop　looking　away。〃
　　　〃Don't　hurt　me；　Marius；〃　she　cautioned。　〃You're　rough　with　me　as　though　I　were　a　concubine。　Treat　me　with　grace。〃　Her　lips　trembled。　〃Treat　me　with　mercy；〃　she　said　sadly。
　　　I　started　to　weep。
　　　〃Stay　with　me；〃　I　said。　〃e　inside。　Talk　to　Bianca。　e　to　love　us　both。　Let　time　begin　from　this　moment。〃
　　　〃No；　Marius；〃　she　said。　〃Take　me　away　from　that　awful　sound。　Take　me　back　to　the　place　where　I　am　living。　Take　me　back；　or　I　shall　go　on　foot。　I　can't　bear　this。〃
　　　I　obeyed　her　mands。　We　were　silent　as　she　traveled　to　a　large　handsome　house　in　Dresden　whose　many　windows　were　dark；　and　there　I　held　her　still；　kissing　her；　refusing　to　let　her　go。
　　　
　　　Finally；　I　drew　out　my　handkerchief　and　wiped　my　face。　I　drew　in　my　breath　and　tried　to　speak　calmly。
　　　〃You　are　frightened；〃　I　said；　〃and　I　must　understand　it　and　be　patient　with　it。〃
　　　She　had　that　dazed　cold　look　in　her　eyes；　a　look　I　had　never　seen　in　the　early　years；　a　look　that　now　horrified　me。
　　　〃Tomorrow　night；　we　shall　meet　again；〃　I　said；　〃here　perhaps　in　this　house　where　you　are　dwelling；　where　you　are　safe　from　the　sound　of　the　Mother　and　the　Father。　Wherever　you　wish。　But　wherever　you　can　get　used　to　me。〃
　　　She　nodded。　She　lifted　her　hand　and　stroked　my　cheek　with　her　fingers。
　　　〃How　well　you　pretend；〃　she　whispered。　〃How　very　fine　you　are；　and　always　were。　And　to　think　those　demons　in　Rome　thought　they　had　put　out　your　brilliant　light。　I　should　have　laughed　at　them。〃
　　　〃Yes；　and　my　light　shines　only　for　you；〃　I　said；　〃and　it　was　of　you　I　dreamt　when　I　was　burnt　black　by　the　fire　sent　from　that　demon　blood　drinker　Santino。　It　was　of　you　I　dreamt　as　I　drank　from　the　Mother　to　regain　my　strength；　as　I　searched　for　you　through　the　countries　of　Europe。〃
　　　〃Oh；　my　love；〃　she　whispered。　〃My　great　love。　If　only　I　could　be　again　the　strong　one　whom　you　remember。〃
　　　〃But　you　will　be；〃　I　insisted。　〃You　are。　I　shall　take　care　of　you；　yes；　just　as　you　wish。　And　you　and　Bianca　and　I…we　shall　all　love　one　another。　Tomorrow　night；　we'll　talk。　We'll　make　plans。　We'll　speak　of　all　the　great　cathedrals　we　must　see；　the　windows　of　colored　glass；　we'll　speak　of　the　painters　whose　fine　work　we　have　yet　to　study。　We'll　speak　of　the　New　World；　of　its　forests　and　its　rivers。　Pandora；　we　will　speak　of　everything。〃
　　　I　went　on　and　on。
　　　〃And　you　will　e　to　love　Bianca；〃　I　said。　〃You　will　e　to　treasure　her。　I　know　Bianca's　heart　and　soul　as　ever　I　knew　yours；　I　swear　to　you。　We　will　exist　together　in　peace；　believe　me。　You　have　no　idea　of　the　happiness　that　awaits　you。〃
　　　〃Happiness？〃　she　asked。　She　looked　at　me　as　though　she　hardly　understood　the　words　I　had　spoken。　Then　she　said：
　　　〃Marius；　I　leave　this　city　tonight。　Nothing　can　stop　it。〃
　　　〃No；　no；　you　can't　say　this　to　me！〃　I　declared。　I　grabbed　her　by　the　arms　again。
　　　
　　　
　　　〃Don't　hurt　me；　Marius。　I　leave　this　city　tonight。　I　told　you。　Marius；　you've　waited　for　one　hundred　years　to　see　one　thing；　and　one　thing　only…that　I　live。　Now　leave　me　to　the　existence　I've　chosen。〃
　　　〃I　won't。　I　won't　have　it。〃
　　　〃Yes；　you　will；〃　she　whispered。　〃Marius；　don't　you　see　what　I'm　trying　to　tell　you。　I　haven't　the　courage　to　leave　Arjun。　I　haven't　the　courage　to　see　the　Mother　and　the　Father。　Marius；　I　don't　have　the　courage　to　love　you　anymore。　The　very　sound　of　your　angry　voice　frightens　me。　I　don't　have　the　courage　to　meet　your　Bianca。　The　very　thought　that　you　might　love　her　more　than　me　frightens　me。　I　am　frightened　of　it　all；　don't　you　see？　And　even　now；　I　am　desperate　for　Arjun　that　he　may　take　me　away　from　all　of　this。　With　Arjun　there　is　for　me　a　great　simplicity！　Marius；　please　let　me　go　with　your　forgiveness。〃
　　　〃I　don't　believe　you；〃　I　said。　〃I