mp.godfather-第85节

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to　the　upstairs　apartment　which　consisted　of　an　enormous　living　room；　a　huge　kitchen　and　door　that　led　to　the　bedroom。　In　one　corner　of　the　living　room　was　a　bar　and　Michael　mixed　them　both　a　drink。　They　sat　on　a　sofa　together　and　Michael　said　quietly；　〃We　might　as　well　go　into　the　bedroom。〃　Kay　took　a　long　pull　from　her　drink　and　smiled　at　him。　〃Yes；〃　she　said。
　
　For　Kay　the　lovemaking　was　almost　like　it　had　been　before　except　that　Michael　was　rougher；　more　direct；　not　as　tender　as　he　had　been。　As　if　he　were　on　guard　against　her。　But　she　didn't　want　to　plain。　It　would　wear　off。　In　a　funny　way；　men　were　more　sensitive　in　a　situation　like　this；　she　thought。　She　had　found　making　love　to　Michael　after　a　two…year　absence　the　most　natural　thing　in　the　world。　It　was　as　if　he　had　never　been　away。
　
　〃You　could　have　written　me；　you　could　have　trusted　me；〃　she　said；　nestling　against　his　body。　〃I　would　have　practiced　the　New　England　omerta。　Yankees　are　pretty　closemouthed　too；　you　know。〃
　
　Michael　laughed　softly　in　the　darkness。　〃I　never　figured　you　to　be　waiting；〃　he　said。　〃I　never　figured　you　to　wait　after　what　happened。〃
　
　Kay　said　quickly；　〃I　never　believed　you　killed　those　two　men。　Except　maybe　when　your　mother　seemed　to　think　so。　But　I　never　believed　it　in　my　heart。　I　know　you　too　well。〃
　
　She　could　hear　Michael　give　a　sigh。　〃It　doesn't　matter　whether　I　did　or　not；〃　he　said。　〃You　have　to　understand　that。〃
　
　Kay　was　a　little　stunned　by　the　coldness　in　his　voice。　She　said；　〃So　just　tell　me　now；　did　you　or　didn't　you？〃
　
　Michael　sat　up　on　his　pillow　and　in　the　darkness　a　light　flared　as　he　got　a　cigarette　going。　〃If　I　asked　you　to　marry　me；　would　I　have　to　answer　that　question　first　before　you'd　give　me　an　answer　to　mine？〃
　
　Kay　said；　〃I　don't　care；　I　love　you；　I　don't　care。　If　you　loved　me　you　wouldn't　be　afraid　to　tell　me　the　truth。　You　wouldn't　be　afraid　I　might　tell　the　police。　That's　it；　isn't　it？　You're　really　a　gangster　then；　isn't　that　so？　But　I　really　don't　care。　What　I　care　about　is　that　you　obviously　don't　love　me。　You　didn't　even　call　me　up　when　you　got　back　home。〃
　
　Michael　was　puffing　on　his　cigarette　and　some　burning　ashes　fell　on　Kay's　bare　back。　She　flinched　a　little　and　said　jokingly；　〃Stop　torturing　me；　I　won't　talk。〃
　
　Michael　didn't　laugh。　His　voice　sounded　absentminded。　〃You　know；　when　I　came　home　I　wasn't　that　glad　when　I　saw　my　family；　my　father；　my　mother；　my　sister　Connie；　and　Tom。　It　was　nice　but　I　didn't　really　give　a　damn。　Then　I　came　home　tonight　and　saw　you　in　the　kitchen　and　I　was　glad。　Is　that　what　you　mean　by　love？〃
　
　〃That's　close　enough　for　me；〃　Kay　said。
　
　They　made　love　again　for　a　while。　Michael　was　more　tender　this　time。　And　then　he　went　out　to　get　them　both　a　drink。　When　he　came　back　he　sat　on　an　armchair　facing　the　bed。　〃Let's　get　serious；〃　he　said。　〃How　do　you　feel　about　marrying　me？〃　Kay　smiled　at　him　and　motioned　him　into　the　bed。　Michael　smiled　back　at　her。　〃Be　serious；〃　he　said。　〃I　can't　tell　you　about　anything　that　happened。　I'm　working　for　my　father　now。　I'm　being　trained　to　take　over　the　family　olive　oil　business。　But　you　know　my　family　has　enemies；　my　father　has　enemies。　You　might　be　a　very　young　widow；　there's　a　chance；　not　much　of　one；　but　it　could　happen。　And　I　won't　be　telling　you　what　happened　at　the　office　every　day。　I　won't　be　telling　you　anything　about　my　business。　You'll　be　my　wife　but　you　won't　be　my　partner　in　life；　as　I　think　they　say。　Not　an　equal　partner。　That　can't　be。〃
　
　Kay　sat　up　in　bed。　She　switched　on　a　huge　lamp　standing　on　the　night　table　and　then　she　lit　a　cigarette。　She　leaned　back　on　the　pillows　and　said　quietly；　〃You're　telling　me　you're　a　gangster；　isn't　that　it？　You're　telling　me　that　you're　responsible　for　people　being　killed　and　other　sundry　crimes　related　to　murder。　And　that　I'm　not　ever　to　ask　about　that　part　of　your　life；　not　even　to　think　about　it。　Just　like　in　the　horror　movies　when　the　monster　asks　the　beautiful　girl　to　marry　him。〃　Michael　grinned；　the　cracked　part　of　his　face　turned　toward　her；　and　Kay　said　in　contrition；　〃Oh；　Mike；　I　don't　even　notice　that　stupid　thing；　I　swear　I　don't。〃
　
　〃I　know；〃　Michael　said　laughing。　〃I　like　having　it　now　except　that　it　makes　the　snot　drip　out　of　my　nose。〃
　
　〃You　said　be　serious；〃　Kay　went　on。　〃If　we　get　married　what　kind　of　a　life　am　I　supposed　to　lead？　Like　your　mother；　like　an　Italian　housewife　with　just　the　kids　and　home　to　take　care　of？　And　what　about　if　something　happens？　I　suppose　you　could　wind　up　in　jail　someday。〃
　
　〃No；　that's　not　possible；〃　Michael　said。　〃Killed；　yes；　jail；　no。〃
　
　Kay　laughed　at　this　confidence；　it　was　a　laugh　that　had　a　funny　mixture　of　pride　with　its　amusement。　〃But　how　can　you　say　that？〃　she　said。　〃Really。〃
　
　Michael　sighed。　〃These　are　all　the　things　I　can't　talk　to　you　about；　I　don't　want　to　talk　to　you　about。〃
　
　Kay　was　silent　for　a　long　time。　〃Why　do　you　want　me　to　marry　you　after　never　calling　me　all　these　months？　Am　I　so　good　in　bed？〃
　
　Michael　nodded　gravely。　〃Sure；〃　he　said。　〃But　I'm　getting　it　for　nothing　so　why　should　I　marry　you　for　that？　Look；　I　don't　want　an　answer　now。　We're　going　to　keep　seeing　each　other。　You　can　talk　it　over　with　your　parents。　I　hear　your　father　is　a　real　tough　guy　in　his　own　way。　Listen　to　his　advice。〃
　
　〃You　haven't　answered　why；　why　you　want　to　marry　me；〃　Kay　said。
　
　Michael　took　a　white　handkerchief　from　the　drawer　of　the　night　table　and　held　it　to　his　nose。　He　blew　into　it　and　then　wiped。　〃There's　the　best　reason　for　not　marrying　me；〃　he　said。　〃How　would　that　be　having　a　guy　around　who　always　has　to　blow　his　nose？〃
　
　Kay　said　impatiently；　〃e　on；　be　serious；　I　asked　you　a　question。〃
　
　Michael　held　the　handkerchief　in　his　hand。　〃OK；〃　he　said；　〃this　one　time。　You　are　the　only　person　I　felt　any　affection　for；　that　I　care　about。　I　didn't　call　you　because　it　never　occurred　to　me　that　you'd　still　be　interested　in　me　after　everything　that's　happened。　Sure；　I　could　have　chased　you；　I　could　have　conned　you；　but　I　didn't　want　to　do　that。　Now　here's　something　I'll　trust　you　with　and　I　don't　want　you　to　repeat　it　even　to　your　father。　If　everything　goes　right；　the　Corleone　Family　will　be　pletely　legitimate　in　about　five　years。　Some　very　tricky　things　have　to　be　done　to　make　that　possible。　That's　when　you　may　bee　a　wealthy　widow。　Now　what　do　I　want　you　for？　Well；　because　I　want　you　and　I　want　a　family。　I　want　kids；　it's　time。　And　I　don't　want　those　kids　to　be　influenced　by　me　the　way　I　was　influenced　by　my　father。　I　don't　mean　my　father　deliberately　influenced　me。　He　never　did。　He　never　even　wanted　me　in　the　family　business。　He　wanted　me　to　bee　a　professor　or　a　doctor；　something　like　that。　But　things　went　bad　and　I　had　to　fight　for　my　Family。　I　had　to　fight　because　l　love　and　admire　my　father。　I　never　knew　a　man　more　worthy　of　respect。　He　was　a　good　husband　and　a　good　father　and　a　good　friend　to　people　who　were　not　so　fortunate　in　life。　There's　another　side　to　him；　but　that's　not　relevant　to　me　as　his　son。　Anyway　I　don't　want　that　to　happen　to　our　kids。　I　want　them　to　be　influenced　by　you。　I　want　them　to　grow　up　to　be　All…American　kids；　real　All…American；　the　whole　works。　Maybe　they　or　their　grandchildren　will　go　into　politics。〃　Michael　grinned。　〃Maybe　one　of　them　will　be　President　of　the　United　States。　Why　the　hell　not？　In　my　history　course　at　Dartmouth　we　did　some　background　on　all　the　Presidents　and　they　had　fathers　and　grandfathers　who　were　lucky　they　didn't　get　hanged。　But　I'll　settle　for　my　kids　being　doctors　or　musicians　or　teachers。　They'll　never　be　in　the　Family　business。　By　the　time　they　are　that　old　I'll　be　retired　anyway。　And　you　and　I　will　be　part　of　some　country　club　crowd；　the　good　simple　life　of　well…to…do　Americans。　How　dote　that　strike　you　for　a　proposition？〃
　
　〃Marvelous；〃　Kay　said。　〃But　you　sort　of　skipped　ones　the　widow　part。〃
　
　〃There's　not　much　chance　of　that。　I　just　mentioned　it　to　give　a　fair　presentation。〃　Michael　patted　his　nose　with　the　handkerchief。
　
　〃I　can't　believe　it；　I　can't　believe　you're　a　man　like　that；　you're　just　not；〃　Kay　said。　Her　face　had　a　bewildered　look。　〃I　just　don't　understand　the　whole　thing；　how　it　could　possibly　be。〃
　
　〃Well；　I'm　not　giving　any　more　explanations；〃　Michael　said　gently。　〃You　know；　you　don't　have　to　think　about　any　of　this　stuff；　it　has　nothing　to　do　with　you　really；　or　with　our　life　together　if　we　get　married。〃
　
　Kay　shook　her　head。　〃How　can　you　want　to　marry　me；　how　can　you　hint　that　you　love　me；　you　never　say　the　word　but　you　just　now　said　you　loved　your　father；　you　never　said　you　loved　me；　how　could　you　if　you　distrust　me　so　much　you　can't　tell　me　about　the　most　important　things　in　your　life？　How　can　you　want　to　have　a　wife　you　can't　trust？　Your　father　trusts　your　mother。　I　know　that。〃
　
　〃Sure；〃　Michael　said。　〃But　that　doesn't　mean　he　tells　her　everything。　And；　you　know；　he　has　reason　to　trust　her。　Not　because　they　got　married　and　she's　his　wife。　But　she　bore　him　four　children　in　times　when　it　was　not　that　safe　to　bear　children。　She　nursed　and　guarded　him　when　people　shot　him。　She　believed　in　him。　He　was　always　her　first　loyalty　for　forty　years。　After　yo