mp.godfather-第37节

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　of　a　child　seeking　warmth；　his　hand　in　her　lap　pulled　up　the　silk　of　her　dress　to　show　milky　white　thigh　above　the　sheer　netted　gold　of　her　stockings　and　as　always；　despite　all　the　women；　all　the　years；　all　the　familiarity；　Johnny　felt　the　fluid　sticky　warmness　flooding　through　his　body　at　that　sight。　The　miracle　still　happened；　and　what　would　he　do　when　that　failed　him　as　his　voice　had？
　
　He　was　ready　now。　He　put　his　drink　down　on　the　long　inlaid　cocktail　table　and　turned　his　body　toward　her。　He　was　very　sure；　very　deliberate；　and　yet　tender。　There　was　nothing　sly　or　lecherously　lascivious　in　his　caresses。　He　kissed　her　on　the　lips　while　his　hands　rose　to　her　breasts。　His　hand　fell　to　her　warm　thighs；　the　skin　so　silky　to　his　touch。　Her　returning　kiss　was　warm　but　not　passionate　and　he　preferred　it　that　way　right　now。　He　hated　girls　who　turned　on　all　of　a　sudden　as　if　their　bodies　were　motors　galvanized　into　erotic　pumpings　by　the　touching　of　a　hairy　switch。
　
　Then　he　did　something　he　always　did；　something　that　had　never　yet　failed　to　arouse　him。　Delicately　and　as　lightly　as　it　was　possible　to　do　so　and　still　feel　something；　he　brushed　the　tip　of　his　middle　finger　deep　down　between　her　thighs。　Some　girls　never　even　felt　that　initial　move　toward　lovemaking。　Some　were　distracted　by　it；　not　sure　it　was　a　physical　touch　because　at　the　same　time　he　always　kissed　them　deeply　on　the　mouth。　Still　others　seemed　to　suck　in　his　finger　or　gobble　it　up　with　a　pelvic　thrust。　And　of　course　before　he　became　famous；　some　girls　had　slapped　his　face。　It　was　his　whole　technique　and　usually　it　served　him　well　enough。
　
　Sharon's　reaction　was　unusual。　She　accepted　it　all；　the　touch；　the　kiss；　then　shifted　her　mouth　off　his；　shifted　her　body　ever　so　slightly　back　along　the　couch　and　picked　up　her　drink。　It　was　a　cool　but　definite　refusal。　It　happened　sometimes。　Rarely；　but　it　happened。　Johnny　picked　up　his　drink　and　lit　a　cigarette。
　
　She　was　saying　something　very　sweetly；　very　lightly。　〃It's　not　that　I　don't　like　you；　Johnny；　you're　much　nicer　than　I　thought　you'd　be。　And　it's　not　because　I'm　not　that　kind　of　a　girl。　It's　just　that　I　have　to　be　turned　on　to　do　it　with　a　guy；　you　know　what　I　mean？〃
　
　Johnny　Fontane　smiled　at　her。　He　still　liked　her。　〃And　I　don't　turn　you　on？〃
　
　She　was　a　little　embarrassed。　〃Well；　you　know；　when　you　were　so　great　singing　and　all；　I　was　still　a　little　kid。　I　sort　of　just　missed　you；　I　was　the　next　generation。　Honest；　it's　not　that　I'm　goody…goody。　If　you　were　a　movie　star　I　grew　up　on；　I'd　have　my　panties　off　in　a　second。〃
　
　He　didn't　like　her　quite　so　much　now。　She　was　sweet；　she　was　witty；　she　was　intelligent。　She　hadn't　fallen　all　over　herself　to　screw　for　him　or　try　to　hustle　him　because　his　connections　would　help　her　in　show　biz。　She　was　really　a　straight　kid。　But　there　was　something　else　he　recognized。　It　had　happened　a　few　times　before。　The　girl　who　went　on　a　date　with　her　mind　all　made　up　not　to　go　to　bed　with　him；　no　matter　how　much　she　liked　him；　just　so　that　she　could　tell　her　friends；　and　even　more；　herself；　that　she　had　turned　down　a　chance　to　screw　for　the　great　Johnny　Fontane。　It　was　something　he　understood　now　that　he　was　older　and　he　wasn't　angry。　He　just　didn't　like　her　quite　that　much　and　he　had　really　liked　her　a　lot。
　
　And　now　that　he　didn't　like　her　quite　so　much；　he　relaxed　more。　He　sipped　his　drink　and　watched　the　Pacific　Ocean。　She　said；　〃I　hope　you're　not　sore；　Johnny。　I　guess　I'm　being　square；　I　guess　in　Hollywood　a　girl's　supposed　to　put　out　just　as　casually　as　kissing　a　beau　good　night。　I　just　haven't　been　around　long　enough。〃
　
　Johnny　smiled　at　her　and　patted　her　cheek。　His　hand　fell　down　to　pull　her　skirt　discreetly　over　her　rounded　silken　knees。　〃I'm　not　sore；〃　he　said。　〃It's　nice　having　an　old…fashioned　date。〃　Not　telling　what　he　felt：　the　relief　at　not　having　to　prove　himself　a　great　lover；　not　having　to　live　up　to　his　screened；　godlike　image。　Not　having　to　listen　to　the　girl　trying　to　react　as　if　he　really　had　lived　up　to　that　image；　making　more　out　of　a　very　simple；　routine　piece　of　ass　than　it　really　was。
　
　They　had　another　drink；　shared　a　few　more　cool　kisses　and　then　she　decided　to　go。　Johnny　said　politely；　〃Can　I　call　you　for　dinner　some　night？〃
　
　She　played　it　frank　and　honest　to　the　end。　〃I　know　you　don't　want　to　waste　your　time　and　then　get　disappointed；〃　she　said。　〃Thanks　for　a　wonderful　evening。　Someday　I'll　tell　my　children　I　had　supper　with　the　great　Johnny　Fontane　all　alone　in　his　apartment。〃
　
　He　smiled　at　her。　〃And　that　you　didn't　give　in；〃　he　said。　They　both　laughed。　〃They'll　never　believe　that；〃　she　said。　And　then　Johnny；　being　a　little　phony　in　his　turn；　said；　〃I'll　give　it　to　you　in　writing；　want　me　to？〃　She　shook　her　head。　He　continued　on。　〃Anybody　doubts　you；　give　me　a　buzz　on　the　phone；　I'll　straighten　them　right　out。　I'll　tell　them　how　I　chased　you　all　around　the　apartment　but　you　kept　your　honor。　OK？〃
　
　He　had；　finally；　been　a　little　too　cruel　and　he　felt　stricken　at　the　hurt　on　her　young　face。　She　understood　that　he　was　telling　her　that　he　hadn't　tried　too　hard。　He　had　taken　the　sweetness　of　her　victory　away　from　her。　Now　she　would　feel　that　it　had　been　her　lack　of　charm　or　attractiveness　that　had　made　her　the　victor　this　night。　And　being　the　girl　she　was；　when　she　told　the　story　of　how　she　resisted　the　great　Johnny　Fontane；　she　would　always　have　to　add　with　a　wry　little　smile；　〃Of　course；　he　didn't　try　very　hard。〃　So　now　taking　pity　on　her；　he　said；　〃If　you　ever　feel　real　down；　give　me　a　ring。　OK？　I　don't　have　to　shack　up　every　girl　I　know。〃
　
　〃I　will；〃　she　said。　She　went　out　the　door。
　
　He　was　left　with　a　long　evening　before　him。　He　could　have　used　what　Jack　Woltz　called　the　〃meat　factory；〃　the　stable　of　willing　starlets；　but　he　wanted　human　panionship。　He　wanted　to　talk　like　a　human　being。　He　thought　of　his　first　wife；　Virginia。　Now　that　the　work　on　the　picture　was　finished　he　would　have　more　time　for　the　kids。　He　wanted　to　bee　part　of　their　life　again。　And　he　worried　about　Virginia　too。　She　wasn't　equipped　to　handle　the　Hollywood　sharpies　who　might　e　after　her　just　so　that　they　could　brag　about　having　screwed　Johnny　Fontane's　first　wife。　As　far　as　he　knew；　nobody　could　say　that　yet。　Everybody　could　say　it　about　his　second　wife　though；　he　thought　wryly。　He　picked　up　the　phone。
　
　He　recognized　her　voice　immediately　and　that　was　not　surprising。　He　had　heard　it　the　first　time　when　he　was　ten　years　old　and　they　had　been　in　4B　together。　〃Hi；　Ginny；〃　he　said；　〃you　busy　tonight？　Can　I　e　over　for　a　little　while？〃
　
　〃All　right；〃　she　said。　〃The　kids　are　sleeping　though；　I　don't　want　to　wake　them　up。〃
　
　〃That's　OK；〃　he　said。　〃I　just　wanted　to　talk　to　you。〃
　
　Her　voice　hesitated　slightly；　then　carefully　controlled　not　to　show　any　concern；　she　asked；　〃Is　it　anything　serious；　anything　important？〃
　
　〃No；〃　Johnny　said。　〃I　finished　the　picture　today　and　I　thought　maybe　I　could　just　see　you　and　talk　to　you。　Maybe　I　could　take　a　look　at　the　kids　if　you're　sure　they　won't　wake　up。〃
　
　〃OK；〃　she　said。　〃I'm　glad　you　got　that　part　you　wanted。〃
　
　〃Thanks；〃　he　said。　〃I'll　see　you　in　about　a　half　hour。〃
　
　When　he　got　to　what　had　been　his　home　in　Beverly　Hills；　Johnny　Fontane　sat　in　the　car　for　a　moment　staring　at　the　house。　He　remembered　what　his　Godfather　had　said；　that　he　could　make　his　own　life　what　he　wanted。　Great　chance　if　you　knew　what　you　wanted。　But　what　did　he　want？
　
　His　first　wife　was　waiting　for　him　at　the　door。　She　was　pretty；　petite　and　brunette；　a　nice　Italian　girl；　the　girl　next　door　who　would　never　fool　around　with　another　man　and　that　had　been　important　to　him。　Did　he　still　want　her；　he　asked　himself；　and　the　answer　was　no。　For　one　thing；　he　could　no　longer　make　love　to　her；　their　affection　had　grown　too　old。　And　there　were　some　things；　nothing　to　do　with　sex；　she　could　never　forgive　him。　But　they　were　no　longer　enemies。
　
　She　made　him　coffee　and　served　him　homemade　cookies　in　the　living　room。　〃Stretch　out　on　the　sofa；〃　she　said；　〃you　look　tired。〃　He　took　off　his　jacket　and　his　shoes　and　loosened　his　tie　while　she　sat　in　the　chair　opposite　him　with　a　grave　little　smile　on　her　face。　〃It's　funny；〃　she　said。
　
　〃What's　funny？〃　he　asked　her；　sipping　coffee　and　spilling　some　of　it　on　his　shirt。
　
　〃The　great　Johnny　Fontane　stuck　without　a　date；〃　she　said。
　
　〃The　great　Johnny　Fontane　is　lucky　if　he　can　even　get　it　up　anymore；〃　he　said。
　
　It　was　unusual　for　him　to　be　so　direct。　Ginny　asked；　〃Is　there　something　really　the　matter？〃
　
　Johnny　grinned　at　her。　〃I　had　a　date　with　a　girl　in　my　apartment　and　she　brushed　me　off。　And　you　know；　I　was　relieved。〃
　
　To　his　surprise　he　saw　a　look　of　anger　pass　over　Ginny's　face。　〃Don't　worry　about　those　little　tramps；〃　she　said。　〃She　must　have　thought　that　was　the　way　to　get　you　interested　in　her。〃　And　Johnny　realized　with　amusement　that　Ginny　was　actually　angry　with　the　girl　who　had　turned　him　down。
　
　〃Ah；　what　the　hell；〃　he　said。　〃I'm　tired　of　that　stuff。　I　have　to　grow　up　sometime。　And　now　that　I　can't　sing　anymore　I　guess　I'll　have　a　tough　time　with　dames。　I　never　got　in　on　my　looks；　you