pgw.uneasymoney-第6节

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thed　your　nervous　system　by　giving　you　this　half…crown。　The　whole　incident　was　very　painful。　Can　you　remember　all　this　to　tell　my　father　when　he　es　in？　I　shall　be　out　lunching　then。'
　'Yes；　sir。'
　'An　admirable　lad　that；'　said　Jerry　Nichols　as　the　door　closed。　'He　has　been　here　two　years；　and　I　have　never　heard　him　say　anything　except　〃Yes；　sir。〃　He　will　go　far。　Well；　now　that　I　am　calmer　let　us　return　to　your　little　matter。　Honestly；　Bill；　you　make　me　sick。　When　I　contemplate　you　the　iron　enters　my　soul。　You　stand　there　talking　about　your　tuppenny…ha'penny　job　as　if　it　mattered　a　cent　whether　you　kept　it　or　not。　Can't　you　understand　plain　English？　Can't　you　realize　that　you　can　buy　Brown's　and　turn　it　into　a　moving…picture　house　if　you　like？　You're　a　millionaire！'
　Bill's　face　expressed　no　emotion　whatsoever。　Outwardly　he　appeared　unmoved。　Inwardly　he　was　a　riot　of　bewilderment；　incapable　of　speech。　He　stared　at　Jerry　dumbly。
　'We've　got　the　will　in　the　old　oak　chest；'　went　on　Jerry　Nichols。　'I　won't　show　it　to　you；　partly　because　the　governor　has　got　the　key　and　he　would　have　a　fit　if　he　knew　that　I　was　giving　you　early　information　like　this；　and　partly　because　you　wouldn't　understand　it。　It　is　full　of　〃whereases〃　and　〃peradventures〃　and　〃heretofores〃　and　similar　swank；　and　there　aren't　any　stops　in　it。　It　takes　the　legal　mind；　like　mine；　to　tackle　wills。　What　it　says；　when　you've　peeled　off　a　few　of　the　long　words　which　they　put　in　to　make　it　more　interesting；　is　that　old　Nutbe　leaves　you　the　money　because　you　are　the　only　man　who　ever　did　him　a　disinterested　kindnessand　what　I　want　to　get　out　of　you　is；　what　was　the　disinterested　kindness？　Because　I'm　going　straight　out　to　do　it　to　every　elderly；　rich…looking　man　I　can　find　till　I　pick　a　winner。'
　Lord　Dawlish　found　speech。
　'Jerry；　is　this　really　true？'
　'Gospel。'
　'You　aren't　pulling　my　leg？'
　'Pulling　your　leg？　Of　course　I'm　not　pulling　your　leg。　What　do　you　take　me　for？　I'm　a　dry；　hard…headed　lawyer。　The　firm　of　Nichols；　Nichols；　Nichols；　and　Nichols　doesn't　go　about　pulling　people's　legs！'
　'Good　Lord！'
　'It　appears　from　the　will　that　you　worked　this　disinterested　gag；　whatever　it　was；　at　Marvis　Bay　no　longer　ago　than　last　year。　Wherein　you　showed　a　lot　of　sense；　for　Ira　J。；　having　altered　his　will　in　your　favour；　apparently　had　no　time　before　he　died　to　alter　it　again　in　somebody　else's；　which　he　would　most　certainly　have　done　if　he　had　lived　long　enough；　for　his　chief　recreation　seems　to　have　been　making　his　will。　To　my　certain　knowledge　he　has　made　three　in　the　last　two　years。　I've　seen　them。　He　was　one　of　those　confirmed　will…makers。　He　got　the　habit　at　an　early　age；　and　was　never　able　to　shake　it　off。　Do　you　remember　anything　about　the　man？'
　'It　isn't　possible！'
　'Anything's　possible　with　a　man　cracked　enough　to　make　freak　wills　and　not　cracked　enough　to　have　them　disputed　on　the　ground　of　insanity。　What　did　you　do　to　him　at　Marvis　Bay？　Save　him　from　drowning？'
　'I　cured　him　of　slicing。'
　'You　did　what？'
　'He　used　to　slice　his　approach　shots。　I　cured　him。'
　'The　thing　begins　to　hang　together。　A　certain　plausibility　creeps　into　it。　The　late　Nutbe　was　crazy　about　golf。　The　governor　used　to　play　with　him　now　and　then　at　Walton　Heath。　It　was　the　only　thing　Nutbe　seemed　to　live　for。　That　being　so；　if　you　got　rid　of　his　slice　for　him　it　seems　to　me；　that　you　earned　your　money。　The　only　point　that　occurs　to　me　is；　how　does　it　affect　your　amateur　status？　It　looks　to　me　as　if　you　were　now　a　pro。'
　'But；　Jerry；　it's　absurd。　All　I　did　was　to　give　him　a　tip　or　two。　We　were　the　only　men　down　there；　as　it　was　out　of　the　season；　and　that　drew　us　together。　And　when　I　spotted　this　slice　of　his　I　just　gave　him　a　bit　of　advice。　I　give　you　my　word　that　was　all。　He　can't　have　left　me　a　fortune　on　the　strength　of　that！'
　'You　don't　tell　the　story　right；　Bill。　I　can　guess　what　really　happenedto　wit；　that　you　gave　up　all　your　time　to　helping　the　old　fellow　improve　his　game；　regardless　of　the　fact　that　it　pletely　ruined　your　holiday。'
　'Oh；　no！'
　'It's　no　use　sitting　there　saying　〃Oh；　no！〃　I　can　see　you　at　it。　The　fact　is；　you're　such　an　infernally　good　chap　that　something　of　this　sort　was　bound　to　happen　to　you　sooner　or　later。　I　think　making　you　his　heir　was　the　only　sensible　thing　old　Nutbe　ever　did。　In　his　place　I'd　have　done　the　same。'
　'But　he　didn't　even　seem　decently　grateful　at　the　time。'
　'Probably　not。　He　was　a　queer　old　bird。　He　had　a　most　almighty　row　with　the　governor　in　this　office　only　a　month　or　two　ago　about　absolutely　nothing。　They　disagreed　about　something　trivial；　and　old　Nutbe　stalked　out　and　never　came　in　again。　That's　the　sort　of　old　bird　he　was。'
　'Was　he　sane；　do　you　think？'
　'Absolutely；　for　legal　purposes。　We　have　three　opinions　from　leading　doctorscollected　by　him　in　case　of　accidents；　I　supposeeach　of　which　declares　him　perfectly　sound　from　the　collar　upward。　But　a　man　can　be　pretty　far　gone；　you　know；　without　being　legally　insane；　and　old　Nutbewell；　suppose　we　call　him　whimsical。　He　seems　to　have　zigzagged　between　the　normal　and　the　eccentric。
　'His　only　surviving　relatives　appear　to　be　a　nephew　and　a　niece。　The　nephew　dropped　out　of　the　running　two　years　ago　when　his　aunt；　old　Nutbe's　wife；　who　had　divorced　old　Nutbe；　left　him　her　money。　This　seems　to　have　soured　the　old　boy　on　the　nephew；　for　in　the　first　of　his　wills　that　I've　seenyou　remember　I　told　you　I　had　seen　threehe　leaves　the　niece　the　pile　and　the　nephew　only　gets　twenty　pounds。　Well；　so　far　there's　nothing　very　eccentric　about　old　Nutbe's　proceedings。　But　wait！
　'Six　months　after　he　had　made　that　will　he　came　in　here　and　made　another。　This　left　twenty　pounds　to　the　nephew　as　before；　but　nothing　at　all　to　the　niece。　Why；　I　don't　know。　There　was　nothing　in　the　will　about　her　having　done　anything　to　offend　him　during　those　six　months；　none　of　those　nasty　slams　you　see　in　wills　about　〃I　bequeath　to　my　only　son　John　one　shilling　and　sixpence。　Now　perhaps　he's　sorry　he　married　the　cook。〃　As　far　as　I　can　make　out　he　changed　his　will　just　as　he　did　when　he　left　the　money　to　you；　purely　through　some　passing　whim。　Anyway；　he　did　change　it。　He　left　the　pile　to　support　the　movement　those　people　are　running　for　getting　the　Jews　back　to　Palestine。
　'He　didn't　seem；　on　second　thoughts；　to　feel　that　this　was　quite　such　a　brainy　scheme　as　he　had　at　first；　and　it　wasn't　long　before　he　came　trotting　back　to　tear　up　this　second　will　and　switch　back　to　the　first　onethe　one　leaving　the　money　to　the　niece。　That　restoration　to　sanity　lasted　till　about　a　month　ago；　when　he　broke　loose　once　more　and　paid　his　final　visit　here　to　will　you　the　contents　of　his　stocking。　This　morning　I　see　he's　dead　after　a　short　illness；　so　you　collect。　Congratulations！'
　Lord　Dawlish　had　listened　to　this　speech　in　perfect　silence。　He　now　rose　and　began　to　pace　the　room。　He　looked　warm　and　unfortable。　His　demeanour；　in　fact；　was　by　no　means　the　accepted　demeanour　of　the　lucky　heir。
　'This　is　awful！'　he　said。　'Good　Lord；　Jerry；　it's　frightful！'
　'Awful！being　left　a　million　pounds？'
　'Yes；　like　this。　I　feel　like　a　bally　thief。'
　'Why　on　earth？'
　'If　it　hadn't　been　for　me　this　girlwhat's　her　name？'
　'Her　name　is　BoydElizabeth　Boyd。'
　'She　would　have　had　the　whole　million　if　it　hadn't　been　for　me。　Have　you　told　her　yet？'
　'She's　in　America。　I　was　writing　her　a　letter　just　before　you　came　ininformal；　you　know；　to　put　her　out　of　her　misery。　If　I　had　waited　for　the　governor　to　let　her　know　in　the　usual　course　of　red　tape　we　should　never　have　got　anywhere。　Also　one　to　the　nephew；　telling　him　about　his　twenty　pounds。　I　believe　in　humane　treatment　on　these　occasions。　The　governor　would　write　them　a　legal　letter　with　so　many　〃hereinbefores〃　in　it　that　they　would　get　the　idea　that　they　had　been　left　the　whole　pile。　I　just　send　a　cheery　line　saying　〃It's　no　good；　old　top。　Abandon　hope；〃　and　they　know　just　where　they　are。　Simple　and　considerate。'
　A　glance　at　Bill's　face　moved　him　to　further　speech。
　'I　don't　see　why　you　should　worry；　Bill。　How；　by　any　stretch　of　the　imagination；　can　you　make　out　that　you　are　to　blame　for　this　Boyd　girl's　misfortune？　It　looks　to　me　as　if　these　eccentric　wills　of　old　Nutbe's　came　in　cycles；　as　it　were。　Just　as　he　was　due　for　another　outbreak　he　happened　to　meet　you。　It's　a　moral　certainty　that　if　he　hadn't　met　you　he　would　have　left　all　his　money　to　a　Home　for　Superannuated　Caddies　or　a　Fund　for　Supplying　the　Deserving　Poor　with　Niblicks。　Why　should　you　blame　yourself？'
　'I　don't　blame　myself。　It　isn't　exactly　that。　Butbut；　well；　what　would　you　feel　like　in　my　place？'
　'A　two…year…old。'
　'Wouldn't　you　do　anything？'
　'I　certainly　would。　By　my　halidom；　I　would！　I　would　spend　that　money　with　a　vim　and　speed　that　would　make　your　respected　ancestor；　the　Beau；　look　like　a　village　miser。'
　'You　wouldn'terpop　over　to　America　and　see　whether　something　couldn't　be　arranged？'
　'What！'
　'I　meansuppose　you　were　popping　in　any　case。　Suppose　you　had　happened　to　buy　a　ticket　for　New　York　on　to…morrow's　boat；　wouldn't　you　try　to　get　in　touch　with　this　girl　when　you　got　to　America；　and　see　if　you　couldn'terfix　up　something？'
　Jerry　Nichols　looked　at　him　in　h