tw.togreenangeltower2-第157节
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to struggle with that discovery myself in the last few days。 But does it make him any less a king? People need to believe something whether you want them to or not。 If you don't give them things to believe; they will make things up。
〃Right now they are frightened of the future。 Most of the world we know is in a shambles; Simon。 And the survivors are wary of Miriamele because of who she is and because of uncertainty about what she's done…and because she's a young woman; to speak bluntly。 The barons want a man; someone strong but not too strong; and they want no civil wars over a reigning queen's choice of husbands。〃 Isgrimnur reached out to touch Simon's arm; but decided against it and drew his hand back。 〃Listen to me。 The people who followed Josua love you; Simon; almost as much as they loved the prince。 More in some ways; perhaps。 You know and I know that what blood flows in you makes no difference…it's all red。 But your people need to believe in something; and they are cold and hurting and homeless。〃
Simon stared at him。 Isgrimnur could not help feeling the force of the young man's rage。 He had grown indeed。 He would be a formidable man…no; he was so already。
〃And for such tricks you would have me betray Miriamele?〃 Simon demanded。
〃Not betray;〃 Isgrimnur said。 〃I will give you a few days to think about it; then I will go and put it to her myself。 We will bury our dead tomorrow; and the people will see us all together。 That will be enough for now。〃 The duke shook his head。 〃I'm not going to lie to her; Simon…that's not my way…but I wanted you to have a chance to hear me first。〃 He suddenly felt immensely sorry for the young man。
He probably thought he would have a chance to lick his wounds in peace…and he's got plenty of them。 We all do。
〃Think about it; Simon。 We need you…all of us。 It will be hard enough for me to pull my own dukedom together; not to mention what will happen to young Varellan; orphaned in Nabban; and whoever still remains in Hernystir。 We need at least the appearance of the High King's Ward again; and someone the people trust sitting on the throne at the Hayholt。〃
He rose from the low stair; trying not to show how much his back hurt; bowed stiffly to Simon…which in itself was an odd sensation…and stumped away across the throne room; leaving the rest of the circle in silence。 He could feel Simon's eyes on his back。
God help me; Isgrimnur thought as he emerged into the twilight。 I need a rest。 A long rest。
He looked up from the fire at the sound of footsteps。 〃Binabik?〃
She moved forward into the light。 Despite the cool spring night and the patches of still unmelted snow; her feet were bare。 Her cloak fluttered in the breeze that swept down the hillside from the Hayholt。
〃I couldn't sleep;〃 she said。
For a moment Simon hesitated。 He had not expected anyone; least of all her。 After the day…long memorial for Josua; Camaris; Isorn; and the other dead; Binabik had gone off to spend the evening with Strangyeard and Tiamak; leaving Simon alone to sit before his tent and think。 Her arrival seemed a thing he might have dreamed while staring into the campfire。
〃Miriamele。〃 He clambered awkwardly to his feet。 〃Princess。 Sit down; please。〃 He gestured to a stone near
the fire。
She sat; drawing her cloak close around her。 〃Are you well?〃 she asked at last。
〃I'm 。 。 。〃 He paused。 〃I don't know。 Things are strange。〃
She nodded。 〃It's hard to believe it's finished。 It's hard to believe they're all gone forever。〃
He moved unfortably; not certain if she spoke of friends or enemies。 〃There are still lots of things to be done。 People are scattered; the world has been turned upside…down。 。 。 。〃 Simon waved his hand vaguely。 〃There's lots to do。〃
Miriamele leaned forward; stretching her hands toward the fire。 Simon watched the light play across her delicate features and felt his heart clutch hopelessly。 All the royal blood in the world might run in his veins; rivers of it; but it did not matter if she did not care for him。 During all of today's rites for the fallen; she had not once met his eyes。 Even their friendship seemed to have faded。
It would serve her right if I let them force me to take the throne。 He turned away to stare at the flames; feeling low and mean…spirited。 But it is hers by right。 She was Prester John's granddaughter。 What difference did it make that some ancestor of Simon's had been king two centuries ago?
〃I killed him; Simon;〃 she said abruptly。 〃I traveled all that way to speak to him; to try to let him know I understood 。。。 but instead I killed him。〃 There was devastation in her words。 〃Killed him!〃
Simon searched frantically for something to say。 〃You saved us all; Miriamele。〃
〃He was a good man; Simon。 Loud and short…tempered; perhaps; but he was 。 。 。 before my mother 。 ; ;〃 She blinked her eyes rapidly。 〃My own father!〃
〃You had no other choice。〃 Simon ached to see her in such pain。 'There was nothing else you could have done; Miri。 You saved us。〃
〃He knew me at the end。 May God help me; Simon; I think he wanted me to do it。 I looked at him 。。。 and he was so unhappy。 He was in so much pain!〃 She rubbed at her face with her cloak。 〃I will not cry;〃 she said harshly。 〃I am so weary of crying!〃
The wind grew stronger; sighing through the grass。
〃And sweet Uncle Josua!〃 she said; more quietly now; but with a core of urgency。 〃Gone; like everyone else。 Gone。 All my family gone。 And poor; tormented Camaris。 Ah; God。 What kind of a world is this?〃 Her shoulders were heaving。 Simon reached out and awkwardly took her hand。 She did not try to pull away; as he felt sure she would。 Instead; they sat in silence except for the crackling of the fire。 〃And C…Cadrach; too;〃 she murmured at last。 〃Oh; Merciful Elysia; in some ways he is the worst。 He wanted only to die; but he waited for me 。。。 for us。 He stayed; despite all that had happened; despite all the terrible things I said to him。〃 She lowered her head; staring at the ground。 Her voice was painfully raw。 〃In his way; he loved me。 That was cruel of him; wasn't it?〃
Simon shook his head。 There was nothing to say。 She suddenly turned to him; eyes wide。 〃Let's go away! We can take the horses and be half a dozen leagues from here by morning。 I don't want to be a queen!〃 She squeezed his hand。 〃Oh; please don't leave me!〃
〃Go away? Where? And why would I leave you?〃 Simon felt his heart speed。 It was hard to think; hard to believe he had truly understood her。 〃Miriamele; what are you talking about?〃
〃Curse you; Simon! Are you really as foolish as people used to think you were?〃 She now grasped his hand in both of hers; tears gleamed on her cheeks。 〃I don't care if you were a kitchen boy。 I don't care that your father was a fisherman。 I only want you; Simon。 Oh; do you think I'm an idiot? I am an idiot; I suppose。〃 Her laugh had a touch of wildness to it。 She let go of his hand for a moment to wipe at her eyes again。 〃I've been brooding about this ever since the tower fell。 I can't stand it! Uncle Isgrimnur and the others; they're going to make me take the throne; I know they will。 And I'll go back to being the old Miriamele again; except this time it will be a thousand; thousand times worse! It will be a prison。 And then I'll have to marry some other Fengbald…just because he's dead doesn't mean there aren't a hundred more just like him…and I'll never have another adventure; or be free; or do what I want to 。。。 and you'll go away; Simon! I'll lose you! The only one I really care about。〃
He stood; then pulled her up from the stone so he could put his arms around her。 They were both shaking; and for a little time all he could do was grapple her to him and hang on; as though the wind might sweep her away。
〃I've loved you so long; Miriamele。〃 He could not keep his voice steady。
〃You frighten me。 You don't know how you frighten me。〃 Her voice was muffled against his chest。 〃I don't know what you see when you look at me。 But please don't go away;〃 she said urgently。 〃Whatever happens; don't go away。〃
〃I won't。〃 He leaned back so he could see her。 Her eyes were bright; fresh tears trembling on the lower lashes。 His own eyes were blurring as well。 He laughed; his voice cracked。 〃I won't leave you。 I promised I wouldn't; don't you remember?〃
〃Sir Seoman。 My Simon。 You are my love;〃 She sucked in her breath。 〃How did it happen?〃
He leaned forward; pressing his mouth against hers; and as they clung to each other the starry sky seemed to spin around the place where they stood。 Simon's hands moved beneath her cloak and he ran his lingers down the long muscles of her back。 Miriameie shuddered and pulled him closer; rubbing her damp face against his neck。
Feeling the length of her pressed against him filled Simon with a kind of drunken; joyous madness。 With his arms still locked around her; he took a few staggering steps toward the tent。 He tasted the salt of her tears and covered her eyes and cheeks and lips with kisses as her hair swirled around him and stuck to his damp face。
Inside the tent; hidden from the prying stars; they wrapped themselves tightly around each other; clu