lmb.shardsofhonor-第8节
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〃It's all right；〃 he said firmly； beginning to put on his de…radialed pants。
〃It doesn't look all right。 Let me see。〃
〃There's nothing you can do about it here；〃 he protested； but submitted to a brief examination。 〃Satisfied？〃 he inquired sarcastically； and finished dressing。
〃I wish your micro people had been a little more thorough when they concocted that salve；〃 Cordelia shrugged。 〃But you're right。 Nothing to be done now。〃
They trudged on。 Cordelia watched him more closely now。 From time to time he would begin to favor the leg； then notice her scrutiny and march forward with a determinedly even stride。 But by the end of the day he had abandoned subterfuge and was frankly limping。 In spite of it he led on into the sunset； the afterglow of the sunset； and the gathering night； until the cratered mountain toward which they had been angling was a black bulk on the horizon。 At last； stumbling in the dark； he gave up and called a halt。 She was glad； for Dubauer was flagging； leaning on her heavily and trying to lie down。 They slept where they stopped on the red sandy soil。 Vorkosigan cracked a cold light and took his usual watch； as Cordelia lay in the dirt and watched the unreachable stars wheel overhead。
Vorkosigan had asked to be waked before dawn； but she let him sleep until full light。 She didn't like the way he looked； alternately pale and flushed； or his shallow rapid breathing。
〃Think you'd better take one of your painkillers？〃 she asked him when he rose； for he seemed barely able to put weight on the leg； which was much more swollen。
〃Not yet。 I have to save some for the end。〃 He cut a long stick instead； and the three of them began the day's task of walking down their shadows。
〃How far to the end？〃 Cordelia asked。
〃I estimate a day； day and a half； depending on what kind of time we can make。〃 He grimaced。 〃Don't worry。 You're not going to have to carry me。 I'm one of the fittest men in my mand。〃 He limped on。 〃Over forty。〃
〃How many men over forty are there in your mand？〃
〃Four。〃
Cordelia snorted。
〃Anyway； if it bees necessary； I have a stimulant in my medkit that would animate a corpse。 But I want to save it for the end too。〃
〃What kind of trouble are you anticipating？〃
〃It all depends on who picks up my call。 I know Radnov…my Political Officer…has at least two agents in my munications section。〃 He pursed his lips； measuring her again。 〃You see； I don't think it was a general mutiny。 I think it was a spur…of…the…moment assassination attempt on the part of Radnov and a very few others。 Using you Betans； they thought they could get rid of me without implicating themselves。 If I'm right； everyone aboard ship thinks I'm dead。 All but one。〃
〃Which one？〃
〃Wouldn't I like to know。 The one who hit me on the head and hid me in the bracken； instead of cutting my throat and dumping me in the nearest hole。 Lieutenant Radnov seems to have a ringer in his group。 And yet…if this ringer were loyal to me； all he'd have to do is tell Gottyan； my first officer； and he'd have had a loyal patrol down to pick me up before now。 Now who in my mand is so confused in his thinking as to betray both sides at once？ Or am I missing something？〃
〃Maybe they're all still chasing my ship；〃 suggested Cordelia。
〃Where is your ship？〃
Honesty should be safely academic by now； Cordelia calculated。 〃Well on its way back to Beta Colony。〃
〃Unless they've been captured。〃
〃No。 They were out of your range when I talked to them。 They may not be armed； but they can run rings around your battle cruiser。〃
〃Hm。 Well； it's possible。〃
He doesn't sound surprised； Cordelia noted。 I'd bet his secret reports on our stuff would give our counter…intelligence people colonic spasms。 〃How far will they pursue？〃
〃That's up to Gottyan。 If he judges he can't possibly catch them； he'll return to the picket station。 If he thinks he can； he's bound to make maximum effort。〃
〃Why？〃
He glanced sidelong at her。 〃I can't discuss that。〃
〃I don't see why not。 I'm not going anywhere but a Barrayaran prison cell； for a while。 Funny how one's standards change。 After this trek； it will seem like the lap of luxury。〃
〃I'll try to see it doesn't e to that；〃 he smiled。
His eyes bothered her； and his smile。 His curtness she could meet and match with her own flippancy； guarding herself as with a fencers foil。 His kindness was like fencing with the sea； her strokes going soft and losing all volition。 She flinched from the smile； and his face fell； then became closed and grave again。
CHAPTER THREE
They walked in silence for a time after breakfast。 Vorkosigan broke it first。 His fever seemed to be eating away at his original taciturnity。
〃Converse with me。 It will take my mind off my leg。〃
〃What about？〃
〃Anything。〃
She considered； walking。 〃Do you find manding a warship very different from ordinary vessels？〃
He thought it over。 〃It's not the ship that's different。 It's the men。 Leadership is mostly a power over imagination； and never more so than in bat。 The bravest man alone can only be an armed lunatic。 The real strength lies in the ability to get others to do your work。 Don't you find it so even in the fleets of Beta Colony？〃
Cordelia smiled。 〃If anything； even more so。 If it ever came down to exerting power by force； it would mean I'd already lost it。 I prefer to maintain a light touch。 Then I have the advantage； because I find I can always keep my temper； or whatever； just a little longer than the next man。〃 She glanced around at the spring desert。 〃I think civilization must have been invented for the benefit of women； certainly of mothers。 I can't imagine how my cavewoman ancestors cared for families under primitive conditions。〃
〃I suspect they worked together in groups；〃 said Vorkosigan。 〃I'll wager you could have handled it； had you been born in those days。 You have the petence one would look for in a mother of warriors。〃
Cordelia wondered if Vorkosigan was pulling her leg。 He did seem to have a streak of dry humor。 〃Save me from that！ To pour your life into sons for eighteen or twenty years； and then have the government take them away and waste them cleaning up after some failure of politics…no thanks。〃
〃I never really looked at it that way；〃 allowed Vorkosigan。 He was quiet for a time； stumping along with his stick。 〃Suppose they volunteered？ Do your people have no ideal of service？〃
〃Noblesse oblige？〃 But it was her turn to be silent； a little embarrassed。 〃I suppose； if they volunteered； it would be different。 However； I have no children； so fortunately I won't have to face those decisions。〃
〃Are you glad； or sorry？〃
〃About children？〃 She glanced at his face。 He seemed to have no awareness of having hit a sore point dead on。 〃They just haven't e my way； I guess。〃
The thread of their talk was broken as they negotiated a rocky stretch of badlands； full of sudden clefts opening at their feet。 It involved some tricky climbing； and shoving Dubauer through safely took all her attention。 On the far side they took a break by unspoken mutual agreement； sitting leaning against a rock in exhaustion。 Vorkosigan rolled up his pants leg and loosened his boot top for a look at the festering wound that was threatening to slow him to a halt。
〃You seem a fair nurse。 Do you think it would help to open and drain it？〃 he asked Cordelia。
〃I don't know。 I'd be afraid messing around with it would just make it dirtier。〃 She deduced the injury must be feeling very much worse for him to have mentioned it； confirmed when he took half a painkiller from his precious and limited store。
They pressed on； and Vorkosigan began to talk again。 He told some sardonic anecdotes from his cadet days； and described his father； who had been a general manding ground forces in his day； and a contemporary and friend of the wily old man who was now Emperor。 Cordelia caught a faint； faraway impression of a cold father whom a young son could never quite please； even with his best efforts； yet who shared with him a bond of underlying loyalty。 She described her mother； a tough…minded medical professional resisting retirement； and her brother； who had just purchased his second child permit。
〃Do you remember your mother well？〃 Cordelia asked。 〃She died when you were quite young； I gather。 An accident； like my father？〃
〃No accident。 Politics。〃 His face became sober； and distant。 〃Had you not heard of Yuri Vorbarra's Massacre？〃
〃I…don't know much about Barrayar。〃
〃Ah。 Well； Emperor Yuri； in the later days of his madness； became extremely paranoid about his relations。 It became a self…fulfilling prophecy； in the end。 He sent his death squads out； all in one night。 The squad sent for Prince Xav never got past his liveried men。 And for some obscure reason； he didn't send one for my father； presumably because he wasn't a descendant of Emperor Dorca Vorbarra。 I can't imagine what old Yuri thought he was about； to kill my mother and leave my father alive。 That was when my father threw his corps behind Ezar Vorbarra； in the civil war that followed。〃
〃Oh。〃 Her throat seemed dry and thick in the dusty afternoon。 She had evoked a coldness in him； so that the film of sweat on his forehead seemed suddenly like
