alistairmaclean.icestationzebra-第19节
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four； five degrees north of where we should be and that we'll have to cut south if we don't want to miss Zebra by a few hundred yards。〃
It could have been worse。 Over an hour had passed since we'd received the last bearing position from the 〃Dolphin〃； and； between radio calls； our only means of navigating had been by judging the strength and direction of the wind in our faces。 When a man's face is pletely covered and largely numb； it's not a very sensitive instrument for gauging wind directionand； for all we knew； the wind might be either backing or veering。 It could have been a lot worse； and I said so to Hansen。
〃It could be worse；〃 he agreed heavily。 〃We could be traveling in circles or we could be dead。 Barring that； I don't see how it could be worse。〃 He gulped down the whisky； coughed； and handed the flask top back to me。 〃Things look brighter now。 You honestly think we can make it？〃
〃A little luck； that's all。 You think maybe our packs are too heavy？ That we should abandon some of it here？〃 The last thing I wanted to was to abandon any of the supplies we had along with us： eighty pounds of food； a stove； thirty pounds of pressed…fuel tablets； a hundred ounces of alcohol； a tent； and a very prehensive medical kit。 But if it was to be abandoned； I wanted it to be their suggestion； and I was sure they wouldn't make it。
〃We're abandoning nothing；〃 Hansen said。 Either the rest or the whisky had done him good； his voice was stronger； his teeth hardly chattering at all。
〃Let the thought die still…born；〃 Zabrinski said。 When I'd first seen him in Scotland； he had reminded me of a polar bear； and now out here on the ice cap； huge and crouched in his ice…whitened furs； he resembled one even more。 He had the physique of a bear； too； and seemed pletely tireless； he was in far better shape than any of us。 〃This weight on my bowed shoulders is like a bad leg： an old friend that gives me pain； but I wouldn't be without it。〃
〃You？〃 I asked Rawlings。
〃I'm conserving my energy；〃 Rawlings announced。 〃I expect to have to carry Zabrinski later on。〃
We pulled the scarred； abraded and now thoroughly useless snow goggles over our eyes again； hoisted ourselves stiffly to our feet and moved off to the south to find the end of and round the high ridge that had blocked our path。 It was by far the longest and most continuous ridge we'd encountered yet； but we didn't mind； we needed to make a good offing to get us back on course； and not only were we doing just that； but we were doing it in parative shelter and saving our strength by so doing。 After perhaps four hundred yards the ice wall ended so abruptly； leading to so sudden and unexpected an exposure to the whistling fury of the ice storm that I was bowled pletely off my feet。 An express train couldn't have done it any better。 I hung on to the rope with one hand； clawed and scrambled my way back to my feet with the help of the others； shouted a warning to the others； and then we were fairly into the wind again； holding it directly in our faces and leaning far forward to keep our balance。
We covered the next mile in less than half an hour。 The going was easier now； much easier than it had been； although we still had to make small detours around rafted； pacted and broken ice： on the debit side； all of us； Zabrinski excepted； were near plete exhaustion； stumbling and falling far more often than was warranted by the terrain and the strength of the ice gale。 For myself； my leaden； 'dragging legs felt as if they were on fire； each step now sent a shooting pain stabbing from my ankle clear to the top of my thigh。 For all that； I think I could have kept going longer than any of them； even Zabrinski； for I had the motivation； the driving force that would have kept me going hours after my legs would have told me that it was impossible to carry on a step further。 Major John Halliwell。 My elder； my only brother。 Alive or dead。 Was he alive or was he dead； this one man in the world to whom I owed everything I had or had bee？ Was he dying； at that very moment when I was thinking of him； was he dying？ His wife； Mary； and his three children； who spoiled and mined their bachelor uncle as I spoiled and ruined them： whatever way it was； they would have to know； and only I could tell them。 Alive or dead？ My legs weren't mine； the stabbing fire that tortured them belonged to some other man； not to me。 I had to know； I had to know； and if I had to find out by covering whatever miles lay between me and Drift Ice Station Zebra on my hands and knees； then I would do just that。 I would find out。 And over and above the tearing anxiety as to what had happened to my brother there was yet another powerful motivation； a motivation that the world would regard as of infinitely greater importance than the life or death of the mandant of the station。 As infinitely more important than the living or dying of the score of men who manned that desolate polar outpost。 Or so the world would say。
The demented drumming of the spicules on my mask and ice…sheathed furs suddenly eased； the gale wind fell away； and I found myself standing in the shelter of an ice ridge even higher than the last one we'd used for shelter。 I waited for the others to e up； asked Zabrinski to make a position check with the 〃Dolphin〃； and doled out some more of the medicinal alcohol。 More of it than on the last occasion。 We were in more need of it。 Both Hansen and Rawlings were in a very distressed condition； their breath whistling in and out of their lungs in the rapid； rasping； shallow panting of a long…distance runner in the last tortured moments of his final exhaustion。 I became gradually aware that the speed of my own breathing matched theirs almost exactly； it required a concentrated effort of willpower to bold my breath even for the few seconds necessary to gulp down my drink。 I wondered vaguely if perhaps Hansen hadn't been right after all； maybe the alcohol wasn't good for us。 But it certainly tasted as if it were。
Zabrinski was already talking through cupped hands into the microphone。 After a minute or so he pulled the earphone out from under his parka and buttoned up the walkie…talkie set。 He said： 〃We're either good or lucky or both。 The 〃Dolphin〃 says we're exactly on the course we ought to be on。〃 He drained the glass I handed him and sighed in satisfaction。 〃Well； that's the good part of the news。 Here es the bad part。 The sides of the polynya the 〃Dolphin〃 is lying in are beginning to close together。 They're closing pretty fast。 The captain estimates he'll have to get out of it in two hours。 Two at the most。〃 He paused； then finished slowly： 〃And the ice machine is still on the blink。〃
〃The ice machine；〃 I said stupidly。 Well； anyway； I felt stupid； I don't know how I sounded。 〃Is the ice〃
〃It sure is； brother；〃 Zabrinski said。 He sounded tired。 〃But you didn't believe the skipper； did you； Dr。 Carpenter？ You were too clever for that。〃
〃Well； that's a help；〃 Hansen said heavily。 〃That makes everything just dandy。 The 〃Dolphin〃 drops down； the ice closes up； and there we are； the 〃Dolphin〃 below； us on top； and the whole of the polar ice cap between us。 They'll almost certainly never manage to find us again； even if they do fix the ice machine。 Shall we just lie down and die now or shall we first stagger around in circles for a couple of hours and then lie down and die？〃
〃It's tragic；〃 Rawlings said gloomily。 〃Not the personal aspect of it； I mean the loss to the U。S。 Navy。 I think I may fairly say； Lieutenant； that we areor werethree promising young men。 Well； you and me； anyway。 I think Zabrinski there had reached the limit of his potentialities。 He reached them a long time ago。〃
Rawlings got all this out between chattering teeth and still painful gasps of air。 Rawlings； I reflected； was very much the sort of person I would like to have by my side when things began to get awkward； and it looked as if things were going to bee very awkward indeed。 He and Zabrinski had； as I'd found out； established themselves as the homespun if slightly heavy…handed humorists on the 〃Dolphin〃。 For reasons known only to themselves； both men habitually concealed intelligences of a high order and advanced education under a cloak of genial buffoonery。
〃Two hours yet；〃 I said。 〃With this wind at our backs we can be back in the sub in well under an hour。 We'd be practically blown back there。〃
〃And the men on Drift Station Zebra？〃 Zabrinski asked。
〃We'd have done our best。 Just one of those things。〃
〃We are profoundly shocked； Dr。 Carpenter；〃 Rawlings said。 The tone。 of genial buffoonery was less noticeable than usual。
〃Deeply dismayed；〃 Zabrinsld added； 〃by the very idea。〃 The words were light； but the lack of warmth in the voice had nothing to do with the bitter wind。
〃The only dismaying thing around here is the level of intelligence of certain simple…minded sailors；〃 Hansen said with some asperity。 He went on； and I wondered at the conviction in his voice： 〃Sure； Dr。 Carpenter thinks we should go back。 That doesn't include him。 Dr。 Carpenter wouldn't turn back now for all the gold in Fort Knox。〃 He pushed himself wearily to his feet。 〃Can't be much more than half a mile to go now。 Let's get it o
