raymondchandler.thehighwindow-第27节

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en　them　and　her　teeth　she　said：
　 〃I　don't　like　your　tone。　I　don't　like　your　tone　at　all。〃
　 〃I　don't　blame　you；〃　I　said。　〃I　don't　like　it　myself。　I　don't　like　anything。　I　don't　like　this　house　or　you　or　the　air　of　repression　in　the　joint；　or　the　squeezed　down　face　of　the　little　girl　or　that　twerp　of　a　son　you　have；　or　this　case　or　the　truth　I'm　not　told　about　it　and　the　lies　I　am　told　about　it　and〃
　 She　started　yelling　then；　noise　out　of　a　splotched　furious　face；　eyes　tossing　with　fury；　sharp　with　hate：
　 〃Get　out！　Get　out　of　this　house　at　once！　Don't　delay　one　instant！　Get　out！〃
　 I　stood　up　and　reached　my　hat　off　the　carpet　and　said：　〃I'll　be　glad　to。〃
　 I　gave　her　a　sort　of　a　tired　leer　and　picked　my　way　to　the　door　and　opened　it　and　went　out。　I　shut　it　quietly；　holding　the　knob　with　a　stiff　hand　and　clicking　the　lock　gently　into　place。
　 For　no　reason　at　all。
　
　
　22
　
　 Steps　gibbered　along　after　me　and　my　name　was　called　and　I　kept　on　going　until　I　was　in　the　middle　of　the　living　room。　Then　I　stopped　and　turned　and　let　her　catch　up　with　me；　out　of　breath；　her　eyes　trying　to　pop　through　her　glasses　and　her　shining　copper…blond　hair　catching　funny　little　lights　from　the　high　windows。
　 〃Mr。　Marlowe？　Please！　Please　don't　go　away。　She　wants　you。　She　really　does！〃
　 〃I'll　be　darned。　You've　got　Sub…deb　Bright　on　your　mouth　this　morning。　Looks　all　right　too。〃
　 She　grabbed　my　sleeve。　〃Please！〃
　 〃The　hell　with　her；〃　I　said。　〃Tell　her　to　jump　in　the　lake。　Marlowe　can　get　sore　too。　Tell　her　to　jump　in　two　lakes；　if　one　won't　hold　her。　Not　clever；　but　quick。〃
　 I　looked　down　at　the　hand　on　my　sleeve　and　patted　it。　She　drew　it　away　swiftly　and　her　eyes　looked　shocked。
　 〃Please；　Mr。　Marlowe。　She's　in　trouble。　She　needs　you。〃
　 〃I'm　in　trouble　too；〃　I　growled。　〃I'm　up　to　my　ear　flaps　in　trouble。　What　are　you　crying　about？〃
　 〃Oh；　I'm　really　very　fond　of　her。　I　know　she's　rough　and　blustery；　but　her　heart　is　pure　gold。〃
　 〃To　hell　with　her　heart　too；〃　I　said。　〃I　don't　expect　to　get　intimate　enough　with　her　for　that　to　make　any　difference。　She's　a　fat…faced　old　liar。　I've　had　enough　of　her。　I　think　she's　in　trouble　all　right；　but　I'm　not　in　the　excavating　business。　I　have　to　get　told　things。〃
　 〃Oh；　I'm　sure　if　you　would　only　be　patient〃
　 I　put　my　arm　around　her　shoulders；　without　thinking。　She　jumped　about　three　feet　and　her　eyes　blazed　with　panic。
　 We　stood　there　staring　at　each　other；　making　breath　noises；　me　with　my　mouth　open　as　it　too　frequently　is；　she　with　her　lips　pressed　tight　and　her　little　pale　nostrils　quivering。　Her　face　was　as　pale　as　the　unhandy　makeup　would　let　it　be。
　 〃Look；〃　I　said　slowly；　〃did　something　happen　to　you　when　you　were　a　little　girl？〃
　 She　nodded；　very　quickly。
　 〃A　man　scared　you　or　something　like　that？〃
　 She　nodded　again。　She　took　her　lower　lip　between　her　little　white　teeth。
　 〃And　you've　been　like　this　ever　since？〃
　 She　just　stood　there；　looking　white。
　 〃Look；〃　I　said；　〃I　won't　do　anything　to　you　that　will　scare　you。　Not　ever。〃
　 Her　eyes　melted　with　tears。
　 〃If　I　touched　you；〃　I　said；　〃it　was　just　like　touching　a　chair　or　a　door。　It　didn't　mean　anything。　Is　that　clear？〃
　 〃Yes。〃　She　got　a　word　out　at　last。　Panic　still　twitched　in　the　depths　of　her　eyes；　behind　the　tears。　〃Yes。〃
　 〃That　takes　care　of　me；〃　I　said。　〃I'm　all　adjusted。　Nothing　to　worry　about　in　me　any　more。　Now　take　Leslie。　He　has　his　mind　on　other　things。　You　know　he's　all　rightin　the　way　we　mean。　Right？〃
　 〃Oh；　yes；〃　she　said。　〃Yes；　indeed。〃　Leslie　was　aces。　With　her。　With　me　he　was　a　handful　of　bird　gravel。
　 〃Now　take　the　old　wine　barrel；〃　I　said。　〃She's　rough　and　she's　tough　and　she　thinks　she　can　eat　walls　and　spit　bricks；　and　she　bawls　you　out；　but　she's　fundamentally　decent　to　you；　isn't　she？〃
　 〃Oh；　she　is；　Mr。　Marlowe。　I　was　trying　to　tell　you〃
　 〃Sure。　Now　why　don't　you　get　over　it？　Is　he　still　aroundthis　other　one　that　hurt　you？〃
　 She　put　her　hand　to　her　mouth　and　gnawed　the　fleshy　part　at　the　base　of　the　thumb；　looking　at　me　over　it；　as　if　it　was　a　balcony。
　 〃He's　dead；〃　she　said。　〃He　fell　out　of　aout　of　aa　window。〃
　 I　stopped　her　with　my　big　right　hand。　〃Oh；　that　guy。　I　heard　about　him。　Forget　it；　can't　you？〃
　 〃No；〃　she　said；　shaking　her　head　seriously　behind　the　hand。　〃I　can't。　I　can't　seem　to　forget　it　at　all。　Mrs。　Murdock　is　always　telling　me　to　forget　it。　She　talks　to　me　for　the　longest　times　telling　me　to　forget　it。　But　I　just　can't。〃
　 〃It　would　be　a　darn　sight　better；〃　I　snarled；　〃if　she　would　keep　her　fat　mouth　shut　about　it　for　the　longest　times。　She　just　keeps　it　alive。〃
　 She　looked　surprised　and　rather　hurt　at　that。　〃Oh；　that　isn't　all；〃　she　said。　〃I　was　his　secretary。　She　was　his　wife。　He　was　her　first　husband。　Naturally　she　doesn't　forget　it　either。　How　could　she？〃
　 I　scratched　my　ear。　That　seemed　sort　of　non…mittal。　There　was　nothing　much　in　her　expression　now　except　that　I　didn't　really　think　she　realized　that　I　was　there。　I　was　a　voice　ing　out　of　somewhere；　but　rather　impersonal。　Almost　a　voice　in　her　own　head。
　 Then　I　had　one　of　my　funny　and　often　unreliable　hunches。　〃Look；〃　I　said；　〃is　there　someone　you　meet　that　has　that　effect　on　you？　Some　one　person　more　than　another？〃
　 She　looked　all　around　the　room。　I　looked　with　her。　Nobody　was　under　a　chair　or　peeking　at　us　through　a　door　or　a　window。
　 〃Why　do　I　have　to　tell　you？〃　she　breathed。
　 〃You　don't。　It's　just　how　you　feel　about　it。〃
　 〃Will　you　promise　not　to　tell　anybodyanybody　in　the　whole　world；　not　even　Mrs。　Murdock？〃
　 〃Her　last　of　all；〃　I　said。　〃I　promise。〃
　 She　opened　her　mouth　and　put　a　funny　little　confiding　smile　on　her　face；　and　then　it　went　wrong。　Her　throat　froze　up。　She　made　a　croaking　noise。　Her　teeth　actually　rattled。
　 I　wanted　to　give　her　a　good　hard　squeeze　but　I　was　afraid　to　touch　her。　We　stood。　Nothing　happened。　We　stood。　I　was　about　as　much　use　as　a　hummingbird's　spare　egg　would　have　been。
　 Then　she　turned　and　ran。　I　heard　her　steps　going　along　the　halls。　I　heard　a　door　close。
　 I　went　after　her　along　the　hall　and　reached　the　door。　She　was　sobbing　behind　it。　I　stood　there　and　listened　to　the　sobbing。
　 There　was　nothing　I　could　do　about　it。　I　wondered　if　there　was　anything　anybody　could　do　about　it。
　 I　went　back　to　the　glass　porch　and　knocked　on　the　door　and　opened　it　and　put　my　head　in。　Mrs。　Murdock　sat　just　as　I　had　left　her。　She　didn't　seem　to　have　moved　at　all。
　 〃Who's　scaring　the　life　out　of　that　little　girl？〃　I　asked　her。　
　 〃Get　out　of　my　house；〃　she　said　between　her　fat　lips。　I　didn't　move。　Then　she　laughed　at　me　hoarsely。　〃Do　you　regard　yourself　as　a　clever　man；　Mr。　Marlowe？〃
　 〃Well；　I'm　not　dripping　with　it；〃　I　said。　
　 〃Suppose　you　find　out　for　yourself。〃
　 〃At　your　expense？〃
　 She　shrugged　her　heavy　shoulders。　〃Possibly。　It　depends。　Who　knows？〃
　 〃You　haven't　bought　a　thing；〃　I　said。　〃I'm　still　going　to　have　to　talk　to　the　police。〃
　 〃I　haven't　bought　anything；〃　she　said；　〃and　I　haven't　paid　for　anything。　Except　the　return　of　the　coin。　I'm　satisfied　to　accept　that　for　the　money　I　have　already　given　you。　Now　go　away。　You　bore　me。　Unspeakably。〃
　 I　shut　the　door　and　went　back。　No　sobbing　behind　the　door。　Very　still。　I　went　on。
　 I　let　myself　out　of　the　house。　I　stood　there；　listening　to　the　sunshine　burn　the　grass。　A　car　started　up　in　back　and　a　gray　Mercury　came　drifting　along　the　drive　at　the　side　of　the　house。　Mr。　Leslie　Murdock　was　driving　it。　When　he　saw　me　he　stopped。
　 He　got　out　of　the　car　and　walked　quickly　over　to　me。　He　was　nicely　dressed；　cream　colored　gabardine　now；　all　fresh　clothes；　slacks；　black　and　white　shoes；　with　polished　black　toes；　a　sport　coat　of　very　small　black　and　white　check；　black　and　white　handkerchief；　cream　shirt；　no　tie。　He　had　a　pair　of　green　sun　glasses　on　his　nose。
　 He　stood　close　to　me　and　said　in　a　low　timid　sort　of　voice：　〃I　guess　you　think　I'm　an　awful　heel。〃
　 〃On　account　of　that　story　you　told　about　the　doubloon？〃
　 〃Yes。〃
　 〃That　didn't　affect　my　way　of　thinking　about　you　in　the　least；〃　I　said。
　 〃Well〃
　 〃Just　what　do　you　want　me　to　say？〃
　 He　moved　his　smoothly　tailored　shoulders　in　a　deprecatory　shrug。　His　silly　little　reddish　brown　mustache　glittered　in　the　sun。
　 〃I　suppose　I　like　to　be　liked；〃　he　said。
　 〃I'm　sorry；　Murdock。　I　like　your　being　that　devoted　to　your　wife。　If　that's　what　it　is。〃
　 〃Oh。　Didn't　you　think　I　was　telling　the　truth？　I　mean；　did　you　think　I　was　saying　all　that　just　to　protect　her？〃
　 〃There　was　that　possibility。〃
　 〃I　see。〃　He　put　a　cigarette　into　the　long　black　holder；　which　he　took　from　behind　his　display　handkerchief。　〃WellI　guess　I　can　take　it　that　you　don't　like　me。〃　The　dim　movement　of　his　eyes　was　visible　behind　the　green　lenses；　fish　moving　in　a　deep　pool。
　 〃It's　a　silly　subject；〃　I　said。　〃And　damned　unimportant。　To　both　of　us。〃
　 He　put　a　match　to　the　cigarette　and　inhaled。　〃I　see；〃　he　said　quietly。　〃Pardon　me　for　being　crude　enough　to　bring　it　up。〃
　 He　turned　on　his　heel　and　walked　back　to　his　car　and　got　in。　I　watched　him　drive　away　before　I　moved。　Then　I　went　over　and　patted　the　little　painted　Negro　boy　on　the　head　a　couple　of　times　before　I　left。
　 〃Son；〃　I　sa