lhamilton.thekillingdance-第47节

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　〃I　was　a　challenge。〃
　〃Yes。〃
　I　stared　into　his　suddenly　open　face。　For　the　first　time；　I　thought　I　might　see　the　truth　in　his　eyes。　〃Good　thing　I　resisted。　I　don't　like　being　used　and　tossed　aside。〃
　〃Once　you　were　only　a　challenge；　something　to　be　conquered。　Then　I　became　intrigued　by　your　growing　powers。　I　saw　possibilities　that　I　could　use　you　to　strengthen　my　position　if　only　you　would　join　with　me。〃
　Something　like　pain　passed　over　his　face；　and　I　wanted　to　ask　if　it　was　real。　If　any　of　this　was　real；　or　if　it　was　only　another　act。　I　trusted　Jean…Claude　to　do　whatever　it　took　to　stay　alive。　I　didn't　trust　him　to　tell　the　truth　sitting　on　a　stack　of　Bibles。
　〃I　saved　your　ass　enough　times。　I'm　your　declared　human　servant。　What　more　do　you　want？〃
　〃You；　ma　petite。〃　He　stood；　but　didn't　e　closer。　〃It　is　no　longer　challenge　or　the　promise　of　power　that　makes　me　look　to　you。〃
　My　pulse　was　suddenly　thudding　in　my　throat；　and　he　hadn't　done　a　damn　thing。
　〃I　love　you；　Anita。〃
　I　stared　at　him；　my　eyes　growing　wide。　I　opened　my　mouth；　closed　it。　I　didn't　believe　him。　He　lied　so　easily；　so　well。　He　was　the　master　of　manipulation。　How　could　I　believe　him　now？　〃What　do　you　want　me　to　say？〃
　He　shook　his　head；　and　his　face　fell　back　into　its　normal　lines。　That　beautiful　perfection　that　was　what　passed　for　ordinary。　But　I　knew　now　that　even　this　was　a　mask；　hiding　his　deeper　emotions。
　〃How　did　you　do　that？〃
　〃After　several　centuries　of　being　forced　to　school　your　face　into　pleasant；　unreadable　lines；　you　lose　the　knack　of　anything　else。　My　survival　has　depended　on　my　expression　more　than　once。　I　wish　you　understood　the　effort　that　little　display　of　humanity　cost　me。〃
　〃What　do　you　want　me　to　say；　Jean…Claude？〃
　〃You　love　me　a　little；　that　I　am　sure　of。〃
　I　shrugged。　〃Maybe；　but　a　little　isn't　enough。〃
　〃You　love　Richard　a　lot；　don't　you？〃
　I　met　his　eyes　and　wanted　to　lie；　to　save　his　feelings；　but　those　kinds　of　lies　hurt　more　than　the　truth。　〃Yeah。〃
　〃Yet；　you　have　not　made　your　choice。　You　have　not　told　me　to　leave　the　two　of　you　to　matrimonial　bliss。　Why　is　that？〃
　〃Last　time　we　had　this　talk；　you　said　you'd　kill　Richard。〃
　〃If　that　is　all　that　is　stopping　you；　ma　petite；　have　no　fear。　I　will　not　kill　Richard　merely　because　you　go　to　his　bed　and　not　mine。〃
　〃Since　when？〃　I　asked。
　〃When　I　threw　my　support　to　Richard；　Marcus　became　my　enemy。　That　cannot　be　changed。〃　He　leaned　his　shoulder　against　the　dark　wooden　bedpost　closest　to　me。　〃I　had　thought　to　petition　another　pack。　There　is　always　an　ambitious　alpha　male　out　there　somewhere。　Someone　who　would　like　his　own　pack　but　either　through　sentimentality　or　lack　of　strength　is　doomed　to　play　second　forever。　I　could　kill　Richard　and　bring　someone　else　in　to　kill　Marcus。〃
　I　listened　to　his　plan　told　so　matter…of…factly。　〃What　changed　your　mind？〃
　〃You。〃
　〃e　again？〃
　〃You　love　him；　ma　petite。　You　truly　love　him。　His　death　would　destroy　something　inside　of　you。　When　Julianna　died；　I　thought　I　would　never　feel　for　anyone　again。　And　I　didn't；　until　I　met　you。〃
　〃You　won't　kill　Richard　because　it　would　hurt　me？〃
　〃Oui。〃
　〃So　I　could　tell　Richard　when　he　gets　here　that　I've　chosen　him；　and　you　would　let　us　go　off；　get　married；　whatever？〃
　〃Isn't　there　one　hurdle　to　your　marriage　besides　myself？〃　he　asked。
　〃What？〃
　〃You　must　see　him　change　into　wolf　form。〃　Jean…Claude　smiled　and　shook　his　head。　〃If　Richard　was　human；　you　would　meet　at　the　door　with　a　smile　and　a　yes。　But　you　fear　what　he　is。　He　is　not　human　enough　for　you；　ma　petite。〃
　〃He　isn't　human　enough　for　himself；〃　I　said。
　Jean…Claude　raised　his　eyebrows。　〃Yes；　Richard　runs　from　his　beast；　as　you　have　run　from　me。　But　Richard　shares　a　body　with　his　beast。　He　cannot　outrun　it。〃
　〃I　know　that。〃
　〃Richard　is　still　running；　ma　petite。　And　you　run　with　him。　If　you　were　secure　that　you　could　accept　him；　all　of　him；　you　would　have　done　it　by　now。〃
　〃He　keeps　finding　excuses　not　to　change　for　me。〃
　〃He　fears　your　reaction；〃　Jean…Claude　said。
　〃It's　more　than　that；〃　I　said。　〃If　I　can　embrace　his　beast；　I'm　not　sure　he'll　be　able　to　accept　me。〃
　Jean…Claude　cocked　his　head　to　one　side。　〃I　do　not　understand。〃
　〃He　hates　what　he　is　so　badly。　I　think　if　I　can　accept　his　beast；　he　won't　。　。　。　he　won't　love　me　anymore。〃
　〃Being　able　to　embrace　his　beast　would　make　you　what　。　。　。　perverse？〃
　I　nodded。　〃I　think　so。〃
　〃You　are　trapped　on　the　horns　of　a　nasty　dilemma；　ma　petite。　He　will　not　make　love　to　you　or　marry　you　until　you　have　seen　and　accepted　his　beast。　Yet　if　you　accept　it；　you　fear　he　will　turn　from　you。〃
　〃Yeah。〃
　He　shook　his　head。　〃Only　you　could　choose　two　men　in　one　human　lifetime　that　are　this　confusing。〃
　〃I　didn't　do　it　on　purpose。〃
　He　pushed　away　from　the　bed。　He　stopped　two　small　steps　from　me；　staring　down。　〃I　tried　to　play　the　mortal　for　you；　ma　petite。　But　Richard　is　much　better　at　being　human　than　I　am。　I　have　not　been　truly　human　for　so　very　long。　If　I　cannot　be　the　better　man；　let　me　be　the　better　monster。〃
　My　eyes　narrowed。　〃What's　that　suppose　to　mean？〃
　〃It　means；　ma　petite；　that　Jason　told　me　of　what　happened　this　afternoon。　I　know　how　close　you　and　Richard　came。〃
　How　much　had　the　lycanthropes　been　able　to　hear？　More　than　I　was　fortable　with；　that　was　for　sure。　〃I　just　love　being　spied　on。〃
　〃Do　not　be　flippant；　ma　petite；　please。〃
　It　was　the　please　that　got　me。　〃I'm　listening。〃
　〃I　told　you　once　that　if　Richard　could　touch　you　and　I　could　not；　it　would　not　be　fair。　That　is　still　true。〃
　I　pushed　away　from　the　door。　He'd　stepped　over　the　line。　〃Are　you　asking　me　to　let　you　touch　me　where　Richard　touched　me？〃
　He　smiled。　〃Such　righteous　indignation；　ma　petite。　But　have　no　fear。　Forcing　myself　upon　you　in　such　a　way　would　smack　of　rape。　I　have　never　been　interested　in　such　things。〃
　I　took　a　step　back；　putting　a　little　space　between　us。　Unless　I　was　really　angry；　it　was　never　good　to　get　that　close。　〃So；　what　are　you　saying？〃
　〃You　have　always　forbidden　me　to　use　vampire　tricks；　as　you　call　them；　with　you。〃　He　held　a　hand　up　before　I　could　say　it。　〃I　do　not　mean　bespelling　you　with　my　eyes。　I　am　not　even　sure　that　is　possible　anymore。　I　cannot　be　human；　ma　petite。　I　am　a　vampire。　Let　me　show　you　that　has　pleasures　beyond　humanity。〃
　I　shook　my　head。　〃No　way。〃
　〃A　kiss；　ma　petite；　that　is　all　I　ask。　A　chaste　kiss。〃
　〃And　the　catch　is？〃　I　asked。
　His　eyes　were　solid；　sparkling　blue。　His　skin　glowed　like　alabaster　under　lights。
　〃I　don't　think　so；〃　I　said。
　〃If　you　were　truly　sure　of　Richard；　I　would　leave　you　to　him。　But　does　the　fact　that　I　love　you　not　earn　me　so　much　as　a　kiss？〃　He　glided　towards　me。　I　backed　up；　but　the　door　was　right　there；　and　there　was　nowhere　to　go。
　He　was　like　a　living　sculpture；　all　ivory　and　sapphire；　too　beautiful　for　words。　Too　beautiful　to　touch。　His　hands　smoothed　over　my　forearms；　along　my　hands。　I　gasped。　Power　rushed　along　my　skin　in　a　smooth　wash；　like　air　dancing　over　my　body。
　I　must　have　tensed　up　because　Jean…Claude　said；　〃It　will　not　hurt；　that　I　promise。〃
　〃Just　a　kiss；〃　I　whispered。
　〃Just　a　kiss；〃　he　whispered。　His　face　lowered　towards　mine。　His　lips　brushed　mine；　gently；　slowly。　The　power　flowed　across　his　lips　into　my　mouth。　I　think　I　stopped　breathing　for　a　second。　My　skin　felt　like　it　was　melting　away　and　I　would　sink　into　his　body；　into　that　shining　power。
　〃Looks　like　I　got　here　just　in　time。〃　It　was　Richard　in　the　doorway。
　I　shoved　my　hand　into　Jean…Claude's　chest　and　pushed　him　away　hard　enough　for　him　to　stumble。　I　was　gasping　for　air　like　I'd　been　drowning。　My　skin　pulsed　and　beat　with　the　power　that　still　crawled　over　me；　into　me。
　〃Richard；〃　I　whispered。　I　wanted　to　say　that　it　wasn't　what　it　looked　like；　but　I　couldn't　get　enough　air。
　Jean…Claude　turned；　smiling。　He　knew　exactly　what　to　say。　〃Richard；　how　good　of　you　to　join　us。　How　did　you　get　past　my　wolf？〃
　〃It　wasn't　that　hard。〃
　I　stared　at　both　of　them。　I　was　still　having　trouble　breathing。　It　felt　like　every　nerve　in　my　body　had　been　touched　all　at　once。　The　line　between　pleasure　and　pain　was　damn　narrow；　and　I　wasn't　sure　which　side　this　went　on。
　The　light　was　seeping　away　from　Jean…Claude；　leaving　him　pale；　lovely；　almost　human。
　Richard　stood　directly　inside　the　door。　His　eyes　glowed　not　with　inner　light　but　with　anger；　an　anger　that　made　his　eyes　dance；　tightened　the　muscles　across　his　shoulders　and　down　his　arms　so　that　the　effort　showed　from　across　the　room。　I'd　never　been　so　aware　of　how　physically　large　he　was。　He　seemed　to　fill　more　space　than　he　should　have。　The　first　skin…prickling　rush　of　his　power　swirled　over　me。
　I　took　a　deep；　shaking　breath　and　started　walking　towards　him。　The　closer　I　got；　the　thicker　the　power；　until　about　six　feet　from　him；　it　was　like　stepping　into　a　nearly　solid　mass　of　pulsing；　vibrating　energy。
　I　stood　there；　trying　to　swallow　my　heart　back　into　my　throat。　He　was　dressed　in　jeans　and　a　green　flannel　work　shirt　with　sleeves　rolled　over　his　forearms。　His　hair　fell　loose　round　his　shoulders　in　a　wavy　mass。　I'd　seen　him　like　this　a　hundred　times；　but　suddenly　it　was　all　different。　I　had　never　been　afraid　of　Richard；　no