alistairmaclean.nightwithoutend-第19节
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evitably must： no person could hope to survive for any great length of time； without shelter of some kind； in the deadly cold of that arctic night。
But it wasn't too late yet。 The wind had been blowing almost directly in my face as I had been running： all I had to do was walk back； keeping it on my left cheek； and I would be bound to hit the line of bamboos at right angles； and the chances of my passing unwittingly between two of them； with the light of my torch to help me； did not exist。 I turned； took one step； then two； then halted in my tracks。
Why had I been lured out here away from the bamboo line？ Not so that she could thereby escape me…she couldn't do it that way。 As long as we both lived； we were both utterly dependent on the cabin and would have to meet there sooner or later。
As long as we both lived！ God； what a fool I was； what a veriest amateur at this game。 The only way she could escape me； really and permanently escape me； was if I no longer lived。 I could be shot down here and no one would ever know。 And as she had stopped running before I had and been first to switch out her torch； she must have a much better idea of my position than I of hers。 And these two rash； incautious steps I had taken had given her a new and even more accurate bearing on my position。 Perhaps she was only feet away now； lining her gun up for the kill。
I switched on my torch and whirled round in a plete circle。 Nobody there； nothing to be seen at all。 Only the frozen feathers of the snow brushing my cheeks in the blackness of the night； the low moaning lament of the soughing south wind and the faint rustle of ice spicules brushing their blind way across the iron…hard surface of the ice…cap。
Swiftly； softly； I moved half a dozen long steps to my left。 My torch was out now； and I'd been crazy ever to switch it on in the first place。 Nothing could have been better calculated to betray my position…the light of a torch； seen head on； can be seen at twenty times the farthest distance that its beam will reach。 I prayed that a flurry of snow had hidden it。
Where would the attack e from…downwind； so that I could see nothing in that blinding snow； or upwind； so that I could hear nothing？ Downwind； I decided…on the ice…cap one could move as silently as on a tar…macadam road。 The better to hear； I pulled the parka hood off my head： the better to see； I slipped up my goggles and stared out unwinkingly under my visored hands。
Five minutes passed； and nothing happened…if； that is； the freezing of my ears and forehead could be called nothing。 Still no sound； still no sight of anything： the strain； the nerve…racking expectancy could not be borne for much longer。 Slowly； with infinite care； I moved off in a circle of about twenty yards diameter； but I saw nothing； heard nothing； and so well adjusted now were my eyes to the darkness； so well attuned my ears to the ice…cap's mournful symphony of sound； that I would have sworn that had there been anyone there to be seen or heard； I would have seen or heard them。 It was as if I were alone on the ice…cap。
And then the appalling truth struck me…I was alone。 I was alone； I realised in a belated and chilling flash of understanding； because shooting me would have been a stupid way of disposing of both myself and my dangerous knowledge…the discovery of a bullet…riddled body on the ice…cap during the brief hours of daylight would have provoked a hundred questions and suspicions。 Much more desirable； from the killer's point of view； would be my dead body without a trace of violence。 Even the most experienced man can get lost in a snow…storm on the ice…cap。
And I was lost。 I knew I was lost； I was convinced of it even before I got the wind on my left and walked back to the line of bamboo poles。 The bamboos were no longer there。 I made a wide circle； but still found nothing。 For at least twenty yards back in the direction of the plane； and probably all the way towards the cabin； the poles had been removed； that slender series of markers which alone meant all the difference between safety and being irrecoverably lost on the ice…cap； were no longer there。 I was lost； really and truly lost。
For once； that night； I didn't panic。 It wasn't just that I knew that panic would be the end of me。 I was consumed by a cold fury that I should have been so ignominiously tricked； so callously left to die。 But I wasn't going to die。 I couldn't even begin to guess what the tremendously high stakes must be in the murderous game that this incredibly ruthless； wickedly…deceptive gentle…faced stewardess was playing； but I swore to myself that I wasn't going to be one of the pawns that were going to be brushed off the table。 I stood still； and took stock。
The snow was increasing now； thickening by the minute； building up into a blizzard with visibility cut down to a few feet： the yearly precipitation of the ice…cap was no more than seven or eight inches； and it was just my evil luck that it should fall so heavily that night。 The wind was southerly； or had been； but in that fickle Greenland climate there was no knowing what minute it might back or veer。 My torch was failing： continual use plus the cold had left it with a pale yellowish beam that reached not much more than a few yards： but that was the limit of visibility； anyway； even downwind。 The plane； I calculated； was not much more than a hundred yards away； the cabin six hundred。 My chances of stumbling upon the latter； flush as it almost was with the surface of the ice…cap； were no better than one in a hundred。 But my chances of finding the plane； or what came to the same thing； the great quarter…mile trench that it had gouged out in the frozen snow when it had crash…landed； were far better than even： it was impossible that it could have already been filled in with drift。 I turned until I had the wind over my left shoulder and started walking。
I reached the deep furrow in the snow inside a minute…I'd switched off my torch to conserve the battery but my stumble and heavy fall as I went over the edge was intimation enough…turned right and reached the plane in thirty seconds。 I suppose I might possibly have lasted out the night inside the wrecked fuselage； but such was my singleness of purpose at the moment that the thought never occurred to me。 I walked round the wing； picked up the first of the bamboos in the dim beam of my torch and started to follow them。
There were only five altogether。 After that； nothing。 Every one of the others had been removed。 These five； I knew； pointed straight towards the cabin and all I had to do was to keep shifting the last of the five to the front； lining it up straight with the others in the light of my torch； and it would be bound to bring out to the cabin。 Or so I thought； for perhaps ten seconds。 But it was a task that really required two people to achieve anything like accuracy： what with that； the feebleness of my rapidly dying torch and the hopeless visibility； I couldn't be accurate within two or three degrees at the least。 That seemed a trifle； but when I stopped and worked it out I discovered that； over the distance； even one degree out would have put me almost forty feet off course。 On a night like that； I could pass by the cabin ten feet away and never see it。 There were less laborious means of mitting suicide。
I picked up the five sticks； returned to the plane and walked along the furrowed trench till I came to the depression where the plane had touched down。 The 250…foot line of the antenna； I knew； was roughly four hundred yards away； just a little bit south of west…slightly to my left； that was； as I stood with my back to the plane。 I didn't hesitate。 I strode out into the darkness； counting my steps； concentrating on keeping the wind a little more than on my left cheek but not quite full face。 After four hundred long paces I stopped and pulled out my torch。
It was quite dead…the dull red glow from the filament didn't even register on my glove six inches away； and the darkness was as absolute as it would ever bee on the ice…cap。 I was a blind man moving in a blind world； and all I had left to me was the sense of touch。 For the first time fear came to me； and I all but gave way to an almost overpowering instinct to run。 But there was no place to run to。
I pulled the drawstring from my hood and with numbed and clumsy hands lashed together two of the bamboos to give me a stick seven feet in length。 A third bamboo I thrust into the snow； then lay down flat； the sole of my boot touching it while I described a plete circle； flailing out with my long stick into the darkness。 Nothing。 At the full stretch of my body and the stick I stuck the last two bamboos into the snow； one upwind； the other downwind from the central bamboo； and described horizontal flailing circles round both of these。 Again； nothing。
I gathered up the bamboos； walked ten paces more； and repeated the performance。 I had the same luck again…and again and again。 Five minutes and seventy paces after I had stopped for the first time I knew I had pletely missed the antenna line and was utterly lost。 The wind must have backed or veered； and I had wandered far off my course： and t
