srdonaldson.theillearthwar-第14节
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Then two small torches appeared in the hands of the Bloodguard。 The dim light showed dukkha lying on the stone beside two prostrate Lords。 The others stood in their places； leaning on their staffs as if stunned by their exertion。
Seeing the fallen Lords； Troy drew a breath that hissed fiercely through his teeth。 His fingers seemed to be trying to bare Covenant's bone。 But Covenant bore the pain； watched the Lords。
Swiftly； the Bloodguard refit the four torches around the dais。 At the touch of the warm light； one of the Lords Covenant recognized Mhoramshook off his numbness； and went to kneel beside his collapsed rades。 He examined them for a moment with his hands； using his sense of touch to explore the damage done to them； then he turned and bent over dukkha。 Around him vibrated a silence of hushed fear。
At last he climbed to his feet； bracing himself with his staff。 He spoke in a low voice； but his words carried throughout the enclosure。 〃The Lords Trevor and Amatin are well。 They have only lost consciousness。〃 Then he bowed his head； and sighed。 〃The Waynhim dukkha is dead。 May its soul at last find peace。〃
〃And forgive us；〃 High Lord Elena responded； 〃for we have failed。〃
Breathing in his deep relief； Troy released Covenant。 Covenant felt sudden stabs of pain in his upper arm。 The throbbing made him aware that his own hands hurt。 The intensity of his hold on the railing had cramped them until they felt crippled。 The pain was sharp； but he weled it。 He could see death in the broken limbs of the Waynhim。 The bruises on his arms； the aching stiffness in his palms； were proof of life。
Dully； he said； 〃They killed it。〃
〃What did you want them to do？〃 Troy retorted with ready indignation。 〃Keep it captive； alive and in torment？ Let it go； and disclaim responsibility？ Kill it in cold blood？〃
〃No。〃
〃Then this is your only choice。 This was the only thing left to try。〃
〃No。 You don't understand。〃 Covenant tried to find the words to explain； but he could go no further。 〃You don't understand what Foul is doing to them。〃 He pulled his cramped fingers away from the railing； and left the enclosure。
When he regained his rooms； he was still shaken。
He did not think to close the door behind him； and the Warmark strode after him into the suite without bothering to ask admittance。 But Covenant paid no attention to his visitor。 He went straight to the tray of food； picked up the flask which stood beside the still steaming bowls； and drank deeply； as if he were trying to quench the heat of his blood。 The springwine in the flask had a light； fresh； beery taste； it washed into him； clearing the dust from his internal passages。 He emptied the flask； then remained still for a moment with his eyes shut； experiencing the sensation of the draft。 When its clear light had eased some of the constriction in his chest； he seated himself at the table and began to eat。
〃That can wait；〃 Troy said gruffly。 〃I've got to talk to you。〃
〃So talk；〃 Covenant said around a mouthful of stew。 In spite of his visitor's insistent impatience； he kept on eating。 He ate rapidly； acting on his decision before doubt could make him regret it。
Troy paced the room stiffly for a moment； then brought himself to take a seat opposite Covenant。 He sat as he stood with unbending uprightness。 His gleaming； impenetrable； black sunglasses emphasized the tightness of the muscles in his cheeks and forehead。 Carefully； he said； 〃You're determined to make this hard； aren't you？ You're determined to make it hard for everyone。〃
Covenant shrugged。 As the springwine unfurled within him； he began to recover from what he had seen in the sacred enclosure。 At the same time； he remembered his distrust of Troy。 He ate with increasing wariness； watched the Warmark from under his eyebrows。
〃Well； I'm trying to understand；〃 Troy went on in a constrained tone。 〃God knows I've got a better chance than anyone else here。〃
Covenant put down the wooden fork and looked squarely at Troy。
〃The same thing happened to us both。〃 To the obvious disbelief in Covenant's face； he responded； 〃Oh； it's all clear enough。 A white gold wedding ring。
Boots； jeans； and a T…shirt。 You were talking on the phone with your wife。 And the time before that have I got this right？ you were hit by a car of some kind。〃
〃A police car；〃 Covenant murmured； staring at the Warmark。
〃You see？ I can recognize every detail。 And you could do the same for my story。 We both came here from the same place； the same world； Covenant。 The real world。〃
No； Covenant breathed thickly。 None of this is happening。
〃I've even heard of you；〃 Troy went on as if this argument would be incontrovertible。 〃I've read…your book was read to me。 It made an impression on me。〃
Covenant snorted。 But he was disturbed。 He had burned that book too late； it continued to haunt him。
〃No； hold on。 Your damn book was a best…seller。
Hundreds of thousands of people read it。 It was made ‘ into a movie。 Just because I know about it doesn't mean I'm a figment of your imagination。 In fact； my presence here is proof that you are not going crazy。： Two independent minds perceiving the same phenomenon。〃
He said this with confident plausibility； but Covenant was not swayed。 〃Proof？〃 he muttered。 〃I would be amused to hear what else you call proof。〃
〃Do you want to hear how I came here？〃
〃No！〃 Covenant was suddenly vehement。 〃I want to hear why you don't want to go back。〃
For a moment； Troy sat still； facing Covenant with his sunglasses。 Then he snapped to his feet； and started to pace again。 Swinging tightly around on his heel at one end of the room； he said； 〃Two reasons。 First； I like it here。 I'm useful to something worth being useful to。 The issues at stake in this war are the only ones I've ever seen worth fighting for。 The life of the Land is beautiful。 It deserves preservation。 For once； I can do some good。 Instead of spending my time on troop deployment； first… and second…strike capabilities； superready status； demoralization parameters； nuclear induction of lethal genetic events；〃 he recited bitterly； 〃I can help defend against a genuine evil。 The world we came from…the ‘real' world hasn't got such clear colors； no blue and black and green and red； 'ebon ichor incarnadine viridian。' Gray is the color of ‘reality。'
〃Actually〃…he dropped back into his chair； and his voice took on a more conversational tone…〃I didn't even know what gray was until I came here。 That's my second reason。〃
He reached up with both hands and removed his sunglasses。
〃I'm blind。〃
His sockets were empty； orbless； lacking even lids and lashes。 Blank skin grew in the holes where his eyes should have been。
〃I was born this way；〃 the Warmark said； as if he could see Covenant's astonishment。 〃A genetic freak。 But my parents saw fit to keep me alive； and by the time they died I had learned various ways to function on my own。 I got myself into special schools； got special help。 It took a few extra years because I had to have most things read to me； but eventually I got through high school and college。 After which my only real skill was keeping track of spatial relationships in my head。 For instance； I could play chess without a board。 And if someone described a room to me； I could walk through it without bumping into anything。 Basically I was good at that because it was how I kept myself alive。
〃So I finally got a job in a think tank with the Department of Defense。 They wanted people who could understand situations without being able to see them …people who could use language to deal with physical facts。 I was the expert on war games； puter hypotheticals； that sort of thing。 All I needed was accurate verbal information on topography； troop strength； hardware and deployment； support capabilities…then leave the game to me。 I always won。 So what did it all amount to？ Nothing。 I was the freak of the group； that's all。
〃I took care of myself as well as I could。 But for a place to live； I was pretty much at the mercy of what
I could get。 So I lived in this apartment house on the ninth floor； and one night it burned down。 That is； I assume it burned down。 The fire pany still hadn't e when my apartment caught。 There was nothing
I could do。 The fire backed me to the wall； and finally I climbed out the window。 I hung from the windowsill while the
heat blistered my knuckles。 I was determined not to let go because I had a very clear idea of how far above the ground nine floors is。 Made no difference。 After a while； my fingers couldn't hold on anymore。
〃The next thing I knew； I was lying on something that felt like grass。 There was a cool breeze…but with enough warmth behind it to make me think it must be daylight。 The only thing wrong was a smell of burned flesh。 I assumed it was me。 Then I heard voices… ‘ urgent； people hurrying to try to prevent something。 They found me。
〃Later； I learned what had happened。 A young student at the Loresraat had an inspiration about a piece of the Second Ward he was working on。 All this was about five years ago。 He thought he had figured out how to get help for the Land…how to summon you； actually。 He wanted to try it； but the Lorewardens' refused to let him。 Too dangerous。 They
