tw.theburningman-第2节
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e beginnings of the oldest tales。 No one remembered who had built it … some said giants； but some swore the fairy…folk had built it themselves。 The Northmen from Rimmersgard were said to have held it for a while； but they were long gone； driven out by a dragon from the fortress the Rimmersmen had stolen from the Peaceful Ones。 So many tales surrounded that castle！ When I was small； one of my mother's bondwomen told me that it was now the haunt of frost…witches and restless ghosts。 Many a night I had thought of it standing deserted on the windy clifftop； only a half…day's ride away； and frightened myself so that I could not sleep。
The idea of someone rebuilding the ruined fortress made the thanes uneasy； but not only for fear of waking its spirits。 The High Keep held a powerful position； perhaps an impregnable one … even in their crumbling condition； the walls would be almost impossible to storm if armed men held them。 But the thanes were in a difficult spot。 Though the men of the Lake People might outnumber those of Sulis； the heron knights were better armed； and the discipline of Nabbanai fighting men was well…known … a half…legion of the Imperator's Sea Wolves had slaughtered ten times that number of Thrithings…men in a battle just a few years before。 And Osweard； the new Great Thane； was young and untested as a war leader。 The lesser thanes asked my grandfather Godric to lend his wisdom； to speak to this Nabbanai lord and see what he could grasp of the man's true intention。
So it was that Lord Sulis came to my grandfather's steading； and saw my mother for the first time。
When I was a little girl； I liked to believe that Sulis fell in love with my mother Cynethrith the moment he saw her； as she stood quietly behind her father…in…law's chair in Godric's great hall。 She was beautiful； that I know … before my father died； all the people of the household used to call her Ricwald's Swan； because of her long neck and white shoulders。 Her hair was a pale； pale gold； her eyes as green as the summer Kingslake。 Any ordinary man would have loved her on sight。 But 'ordinary' must be the least likely of all the words that could be used to describe my stepfather。
When I was a young woman； and falling in love myself for the first time； I knew for certain that Sulis could not have loved her。 How could anyone who loved have been as cold and distant as he was？ As heavily polite？ Aching then at the mere thought of Tellarin； my secret beloved； I knew that a man who acted as my stepfather had acted towards my mother could not feel anything like love。
Now I am not so sure。 So many things are different when I look at them now。 In this extremity of age； I am farther away； as though I looked at my own life from a high hilltop； but in some ways it seems I see things much more closely。
Sulis was a clever man； and could not have failed to notice how my grandfather Godric hated the new Great Thane … it was in everything my grandfather said。 He could not speak of the weather without mentioning how the summers had been warmer and the winters shorter in the days when he himself had been Great Thane； and had his son been allowed to succeed him； he as much as declared； every day would have been the first day of Maia…month。 Seeing this； Sulis made pact with the bitter old man； first by the gifts and subtle pliments he gave him but soon in the courting of Godric's daughter…in…law as well。
While my grandfather became more and more impressed by this foreign nobleman's good sense； Sulis made his master stroke。 Not only did he offer a bride price for my mother … for a widow！ … that was greater than would have been paid even for the virgin daughter of a ruling Great Thane； a sizable fortune of swords and proud Nabban horses and gold plate； but Sulis told Godric that he would even leave my brother and myself to be raised in our grandfather's house。
Godric had still not given up all hope of Aelfric； and this idea delighted him； but he had no particular use for me。 My mother would be happier； both men eventually decided； if she were allowed to bring at least one of her children to her new home on the headlands。
Thus it was settled； and the powerful foreign lord married into the household of the old Great Thane。 Godric told the rest of the thanes that Sulis meant only good； that by this gesture he had proved his honest wish to live in peace with the Lake People。 There were priests in Sulis' pany who would cleanse the High Keep of any unquiet spirits； Godric explained to the thanes … as Sulis himself had assured my grandfather … and thus； he argued； letting Sulis take the ancient keep for his own would bring our folk a double blessing。
What Osweard and the lesser thanes thought of this； I do not know。 Faced with Godric's enthusiasm； with the power of the Nabbanai lord； and perhaps even with their own secret shame in the matter of my father's death； they chose to give in。 Lord Sulis and his new bride were gifted with the deserted High Keep； with its broken walls and its ghosts。
Did my mother love her second husband？ I cannot answer that any better than I can say what Sulis felt； and they are both so long dead that I am now the only living person who knew them both。 When she first saw him in the doorway at Godric's house； he would certainly have been the light of every eye。 He was not young … like my mother； he had already lost a spouse； although a decade had passed since his widowing； while hers was still fresh … but he was a great man from the greatest city of all。 He wore a mantle of pure white over his armour； held at the shoulder by a lapis badge of his family's heron crest。 He had tucked his heimet under his arm when he entered the hall and my mother could see that he had very little hair； only a fringe of curls at the back of his head and over his ears； so that his forehead gleamed in the firelight。 He was tall and strongly…made； his unwhiskered jaw square； his nose wide and prominent。 His strong； heavy features had a deep and contemplative look； but also a trace of sadness …almost； my mother once told me； the sort of face she thought God Himself might show on the Day of Weighing…Out。
He frightened her and he excited her … both of these things I know from the way she spoke of that first meeting。 But did she love him； then or in the days to e？ I cannot say。 Does it matter？ So many years later； it is hard to believe that it does。
Her time in her father…in…law's house had been hard； though。 Whatever her deepest feelings about him； I do not doubt that she was happy to wed Sulis。
In the month that my mother died； when I was in my thirteenth year； she told me that she believed Sulis had been afraid to love her。 She never explained this … she was in her final weakness； and it was difficult for her to speak … and I still do not know what she meant。
The next to the last thing she ever said to me made even less sense。 When the weakness in her chest was so terrible that she would lose the strength to breathe for long moments； she still summoned the strength to declare； 'I am a ghost。'
She may have spoken of her suffering … that she felt she only clung to the world； like a timid spirit that will not take the road to Heaven； but lingers ever near the places it knew。 Certainly her last request made it clear that she had grown weary of the circles of this world。 But I have wondered since if there might be some other meaning to her words。 Did she mean that her own life after my father's death had been nothing more than a ghost…life？ Or did she perhaps intend to say that she had bee a shade in her own house； something that waited in the dark； haunted corridors of the High Keep for her second husband's regard to give it true life … a regard that would never e from that silent； secret…burdened man？
My poor mother。 Our poor； haunted family！
I remember little of the first year of my mother's marriage to Lord Sulis； but I cannot forget the day we took possession of our new home。 Others had gone before us to make our arrival as easeful as possible … I know they had； because a great tent had already been erected on the green in the Inner Bailey； which was where we slept for the first months … but to the child I was； it seemed we were riding into a place where no mortals had ever gone。 I expected witches or ogres around every corner。 We came up the cliff road beside the Kingslake until we reached the curtain wall and began to circle the castle itself。 Those who had gone before had hacked a crude road in the shadow of the walls； so we had a much easier passage than we would have only days earlier。 We rode in a tunnel cut between the wall and forest。 Where the trees and brush had not been chopped away； the Kingswood grew right to the castle's edge； striving with root and tendril to breach the great stones of the wall。
At the castle's northern gate we found nothing but a cleared place on the hillside； a desolation of tree stumps and burn…blackened grass … the thriving town of Erkynchester that today sprawls all around the castle's feet had not even been imagined。 Not all the forest growth had been cleared。 Vines still c
