ch.doublewhammy-第53节

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ank　next　to　the　young　scientist　and　counted　the　fish　as　they　bobbed　to　the　surface　of　the　bad　water。　At　number　seventy…five；　Weeb　turned　and　stalked　back　to　the　model　town…home　that　was　serving　as　tournament　headquarters。
　〃Cancel　tomorrow's　press　tour；〃　he　snapped　at　Deacon　Johnson；　who　obediently　lunged　for　his　Rolodex。
　To　the　hydrologist　Weeb　said：　〃So　how　long　did　this　bunch　live？〃
　〃Eighteen　hours；　sir。〃
　〃Shit。　And　the　trip　down　from　Alabama　was　。。。　？〃
　〃About　two　days；〃　the　hydrologist　said。
　〃Shit。〃　Lunker　Lakes　had　now　claimed　four　thousand　young　bass；　and　Charlie　Weeb　was　deeply　worried。　For　now　he　was　thinking　in　the　short…term。
　〃I　can　get　another　two　thousand；〃　he　said　to　the　hydrologist。
　〃I　wouldn't　remend　it；〃　the　man　said。　〃The　water's　still　substandard。〃
　〃Substandard？　What　you're　really　saying　is　these　fish　stand　a　better　chance　in　a　sewer；　is　that　right？〃
　〃I　wouldn't　go　quite　that　far；〃　the　hydrologist　said。
　〃Okay；　pencil…neck；　let's　hear　the　bad　news。〃　Weeb　shut　the　door　to　his　private　office　and　motioned　the　young　man　to　a　Chippendale　chair。　
　〃You　like　this　unit？　We've　got　your　atrium　doors；　your　breakfast　bay；　your　cathedral　ceiling…did　I　mention　solar　heat？　See；　I've　got　to　sell　twenty…nine　thousand　of　these　babies　and　right　now　they're　moving　real　fucking　slow。　It's　gonna　get　slower　if　I　got　a　dead…fish　problem；　you　understand？〃　Charlie　Weeb　inhaled　two　Chiclets。　〃I'm　selling　a　new　Florida　here；　son。　The　last　of　the　frontier。　My　buyers　are　simple　folks　who'd　rather　go　fishing　than　get　fried　to　raisins　on　the　beach。　Lunker　Lakes　is　their　kind　of　place；　an　outdoor　munity；　see？　Walk　out　the　back　door　with　your　fishing　pole　and　reel　in　a　whopper。　That's　the　way　I　dreamed　it；　but　right　now　。。。　well。〃
　〃We're　talking　cesspool；〃　the　hydrologist　said　bluntly。　〃I　did　some　more　tests；　very　sophisticated　chemical　scans。　You've　got　toxins　in　this　water　that　make　the　East　River　seem　like　Walden　Pond。　The　worst　concentration　is　in　the　bottom　muck…we're　talking　Guinness…record　PCBs。〃
　〃How？〃　Charlie　Weeb　yowled。　〃How　can　it　be　poisoned　if　it's　pre…dredged！〃
　The　hydrologist　said；　〃I　was　puzzled　too；　until　I　checked　down　at　the　courthouse。　This　used　to　be　a　landfill；　Reverend　Weeb；　right　where　the　lakes　are。〃
　〃A　dump？〃
　〃One　of　the　biggest…and　worst；〃　the　hydrologist　reported　grimly。　〃Four　hundred　acres　of　sludge；　rubbers；　dioxins；　you　name　it。　EPA　never　did　find　out。〃
　Charlie　Weeb　said；　〃Lord　God！〃…an　exclamation　he　almost　never　used　off　the　air。
　〃In　layman's　terms；〃　the　hydrologist　concluded；　〃when　you　dredged　Lunker　Lakes；　you　tapped　into　twenty…four　years'　worth　of　fermented　battery　acid。〃
　Charlie　Weeb　coughed　his　gum　into　the　trashcan。　His　mind　was　racing。　He　visualized　the　disastrous　headlines　and　rubbed　his　eyes；　as　if　to　make　the　nightmare　go　away。　Silently　he　cursed　himself　for　succumbing　to　the　South　Florida　real…estate　disease　when　he　could　have　played　it　safe　and　gone　for　tax…free　muni　bonds…the　OCN　board　bad　left　it　up　to　him。　Through　his　befogged　paroxysm　of　self…pity　Weeb　remotely　heard　the　hydrologist　explaining　how　the　lakes　could　be　cleansed　and　made　safe；　but　the　project　would　take　years　and　cost　millions　。。。　
　First　things　first；　thought　Charlie　Weeb。　The　poster　on　the　wall　reminded　him　that　the　big　tournament　was　only　four　days　away。　The　immediate　priority　was　getting　some　new　fish。
　〃If　I　could　get　the　tanker　truck　here　before　dawn；〃　Charlie　Weeb　said；　〃get　the　bass　in　the　water　early；　would　they　live　until　sunset？〃
　〃Probably。〃
　〃Thank　God　it's　a　one…day　tournament；〃　Weeb　said；　thinking　aloud。
　〃Can't　say　how　healthy　they'd　be；〃　the　hydrologist　cautioned。　'They　may　not　feed　at　all。〃
　〃They　don't　need　to；〃　Weeb　said；　leaving　the　man　thoroughly　confused。　〃Get　those　fucking　dead　fish　out　of　my　sight；　every　one；〃　the　preacher　ordered；　and　the　hydrologist　fled　to　round　up　some　boats。
　
　Fast　Eddie　Spurling　was　next　on　Charlie　Weeb's　agenda。　Eddie　came　in　wearing　a　Happy　Gland　fishing　cap　and　a　shiny　silver　Evinrude　jacket。　Tucked　into　his　cheek　was　a　plug　of　Red　Man　tobacco　so　big　it　would　have　gagged　a　hyena。　It　was　all　Weeb　could　do　to　conceal　his　disgust；　Eddie　Spurling　was　about　the　biggest　Gomer　he'd　ever　met。
　〃The　fish　are　dying；〃　Eddie　said；　his　voice　pained。
　〃You　noticed。〃
　〃Why？〃
　〃Don't　worry　about　it；〃　Weeb　said。　〃Sit　down；　please。〃
　〃I　hate　to　see　'em　dying　like　that。〃
　Not　half　as　much　as　I　do；　Weeb　thought　morosely。　〃Eddie；〃　he　began；　〃have　you　given　much　thought　to　the　big　tournament？　Have　you　got　a　plan　for　winning？〃
　Eddie　Spurling　shifted　the　tobacco　to　his　other　cheek。　Chewing　hard；　he　said；　'Truthfully；　I　figured　buzzbaits　would　do　it；　but　now　I　don't　know。　There's　not　much　cover　in　this　water。　'Fact；　there's　not　much　anything　in　this　water。　I　didn't　even　see　any　garfish　down　there；　and　those　suckers　could　live　in　a　toilet　bowl。〃
　Weeb　frowned。
　〃Jelly　worms；〃　Eddie　declared　through　his　chaw。　〃Rig　'em　Texas…style；　I　think　that'll　be　the　ticket；　sir。〃
　Charlie　Weeb　sat　forward　and　put　on　his　eyeglasses。　〃Eddie；　it's　very　important　that　you　win　this　tournament。〃
　〃Well；　I'll　damn　sure　try。〃　He　flashed　a　mouthful　of　wet　brown　teeth。　〃Prize　money　like　that…you　kidding？〃
　〃Trying　is　fine；〃　Weeb　said；　'Very　admirable。　But　this　time　we　may　need　to　do　more。　A　little　insurance。〃
　Weeb　was　not　surprised　that　Eddie　looked　confused。
　〃You're　the　new　star　at　OCN；　we　got　a　lot　riding　on　you；〃　Charlie　Weeb　said。　〃If　you　win；　we　all　win。　And　Lunker　Lakes　too。　This　is　a　tremendous　opportunity；　Eddie。〃
　〃Well；　sure。〃
　〃Opportunities　like　this　don't　e　along　every　day。〃　Weeb　rocked　back　and　folded　his　hands　behind　his　head。　〃I've　been　having　this　dream；　Eddie；　and　you're　in　it。〃
　〃Yeah？〃
　〃That's　right。　In　my　dream；　the　sun　is　shining；　the　lakes　are　clear　and　beautiful。　Thousands　of　happy　home…buyers　are　gathered　around；　and　the　TV　is　there　too；　waiting　for　the　end　of　the　big　tournament。　All　the　other　fishermen　are　back　at　the　dock　except　you；　Eddie。〃
　〃Ugh。〃
　〃Then；　only　seconds　before　the　deadline；　I　see　your　boat　cutting　across　the　water。　You　pull　up　with　a　big　smile　on　your　face；　get　out；　wave　at　the　cameras。　Then　you　reach　down　and　pull　up　the　biggest　stringer　of　largemouth　bass　anyone's　ever　seen。　The　whole　joint　goes　wild；　Eddie。　There　you　are；　standing　under　the　Lunker　Lakes　sign；　holding　up　these　giant　mother　fish。　God；　it's　a　vision；　don't　you　agree？〃
　〃Sure；　Reverend　Weeb；　it'd　be　a　dream　e　true。〃
　Charlie　Weeb　said；　〃Eddie；　it　will　e　true。　I'm　trucking　in　some　big　fucking　bass　from　Alabama。　They're　yours；　partner。〃
　〃Wait　a　minute。〃
　〃With　the　water　this　bad；　I　can't　chance　keeping　the　biggest　ones　in　Lunker　Lakes；〃　Weeb　said。　He　unrolled　a　map　across　the　kitchen　counter。　〃Here　we　are；〃　he　said；　pointing；　〃and　here's　the　Everglades　dike。　All　you　got　to　do　is　tie　the　boat　at　the　culvert；　hop　the　levee；　and　pull　the　cages。〃
　〃Cages…fish　cages？〃
　〃No；　tiger　cages；　Eddie…Christ；　what　do　you　think？〃
　Eddie　Spurling　said；　〃I　ain't　gone　cheat。〃
　〃Pardon　me？〃
　〃Lookit；　I'll　scout　the　lakes　and　dump　some　brush　piles　a　few　days　ahead。　Stock　'em　with　bass　before　tournament　day　and　mark　the　spots。　Hell；　everybody　does　that…how　about　it？〃
　Charlie　Weeb　shook　his　head。　〃The　fish　will　croak；　Eddie；　that's　the　problem。　I　got　two　thousand　yearlings　ing　in　the　night　before　and　I'll　be　lucky　if　they　hang　on　until　dusk。　Worse　es　to　worst；　you　might　be　the　only　guy　in　the　tournament　to　bring　in　a　live　bass。〃
　〃But　I　ain't　gone　cheat。〃
　Reverend　Weeb　smiled　patiently。　〃Eddie；　you　just　bought　that　big　place　outside　Tuscaloosa…what；　sixty　acres；　something　like　that。　And　I　notice　your　wife's　driving　a　new　Eldorado　。。。　well；　Eddie；　I　look　at　you　and　see　a　man　who's　enjoying　himself；　am　I　right？　I　see　a　man　who　likes　being　number　one；　for　a　change。　Some　men　get　a　chance　like　this　and　they　blow　it…think　of　Dickie　Lockhart。〃
　Eddie　Spurling　didn't　want　to　think　about　that　fool　Dickie　Lockhart。　What　happened　to　Dickie　Lockhart　was　a　damn　fluke。　Eddie　ground　his　Red　Man　to　a　soggy　pulp。　〃You　got　a　place　I　could　spit　this？〃　he　asked。
　〃The　sink　is　fine；〃　Weeb　said。　Angrily　Eddie　Spurling　drilled　the　wad　straight　into　the　disposal。
　〃So　what's　it　gonna　be；〃　Charlie　Weeb　said。　〃You　want　to　be　a　star；　or　not？〃
　
　Later　that　afternoon；　Deacon　Johnson　knocked　on　the　door　to　Reverend　Weeb's　private　office。　Inside；　Reverend　Weeb　was　getting　a　vigorous　back　rub　and　dictating　a　Sunday　sermon　for　transcription。
　〃Who　you　got　lined　up　for　the　healing？〃　Weeb　grunted；　the　masseuse　kneading　his　freckled　shoulder　blades。
　〃No　kids；〃　Deacon　Johnson　reported　glumly。　〃Florida's　different　from　Louisiana；　Charles。　The　state　welfare　office　threatened　to　shut　us　down　if　we　use　any　kids　on　the　show。〃
　〃Pagan　assholes！〃
　Charlie　Weeb　had　planned　a　grand　healing　for　the　morning　of　the　big　bass　tournament。　A　lavish　pulpit　was　being　constructed　as　part　of　the　weigh　station。
　〃Now　what？〃　he　said。
　〃I'm　going　down　to　the　VA　tomorrow　to　look　for　some　cripples；〃　Deacon　Johnson　said。
　〃Not　real　cripples？〃
　〃No；〃　said　the　deacon。　〃With　some　of　the　vets；　it　es　and　goes。　They　stub　their　toe；　they　get　a　wheelchair