cb.damnationgame-第5节

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o　ludicrous。　And　yet　if　that　wasn't　it；　why　was　Toy　here；　why　all　the　palaver？
　　〃He's　looking　for　a　man　who　is　nearing　the　end　of　his　sentence。　One　who　deserves；　in　both　his　and　my　own　estimation；　to　have　an　opportunity　to　be　reintroduced　into　society　with　a　job　behind　him；　and　some　self…esteem　to　go　with　it。　Your　case　was　drawn　to　my　attention；　Martin。　I　may　call　you　Martin？〃　〃Usually　it's　Marty。〃　〃Fine。　Marty　it　is。　Frankly；　I　don't　want　to　raise　your　hopes。　I'm　interviewing　several　other　candidates　in　addition　to　yourself；　and　of　course　at　the　end　of　the　day　I　may　find　that　none　are　suitable。　At　this　juncture　I　simply　want　to　ascertain　whether　you　would　be　interested　in　such　an　option　were　it　to　be　made　available　to　you。〃　Marty　began　to　smile。　Not　outwardly；　but　inside；　where　Somervale　couldn't　get　at　it。
　　〃Do　you　understand　what　I'm　asking？〃　〃Yes。　I　understand。〃　〃Joe　。　。　。　Mr。　Whitehead　。　。　。　needs　somebody　who　will　be　pletely　devoted　to　his　well…being；　who　would　indeed　be　prepared　to　put　his　life　at　risk　rather　than　have　harm　e　to　his　employer。　Now　I　realize　that's　a　lot　to　ask。〃　Marty's　brow　furrowed。　It　was　a　lot；　especially　after　the　six…and…a…half　year　lesson　in　self…reliance　he'd　had　at　Wandsworth。　Toy　was　swift　to　sense　Marty's　hesitation。
　　〃That　bothers　you；〃　he　said。
　　Marty　shrugged　gently。　〃Yes　and　no。　I　mean；　I've　never　been　asked　to　do　that　before。　I　don't　want　to　give　you　some　shit　about　me　being　really　keen　to　get　killed　for　somebody；　because　I'm　not。　I'd　be　lying　through　my　teeth　if　I　said　I　was。〃　Toy's　nods　encouraged　Marty　to　go　on。
　　〃That's　it　really；〃　he　said。
　　〃Are　you　married？〃　Toy　asked。
　　〃Separated。〃　〃May　I　ask；　are　there　divorce　proceedings　in　the　offing？〃　Marty　grimaced。　He　loathed　talking　about　this。　It　was　his　wound；　his　to　tend　and　fret　over。　No　fellow　prisoner　had　ever　wrung　the　story　out　of　him；　even　in　those　three…in…the…morning　confessionals　that　he'd　endured　with　his　previous　cellmate；　before　Feaver；　who　never　talked　of　anything　but　food　and　paper　women；　had　arrived。　But　he　would　have　to　say　something　now。　They　surely　had　the　details　filed　away　somehow　anyway。　Toy　probably　knew　more　about　what　Charmaine　was　doing；　and　with　whom；　than　he　did。
　　〃Charmaine　and　me　。　。　。〃　He　tried　to　summon　words　for　this　knot　of　feelings；　but　nothing　emerged　but　a　blunt　statement。　〃I　don't　think　there's　much　chance　of　us　getting　back　together；　if　that's　what　you're　after。〃　Toy　sensed　the　raw　edge　in　Marty's　voice；　so　did　Somervale。　For　the　first　time　since　Toy　had　entered　the　arena　the　officer　began　to　show　some　interest　in　the　exchange。　He　wants　to　watch　me　talk　my　way　out　of　a　job；　Marty　thought；　he　could　see　the　anticipation　written　all　over　Somervale's　face。　Well；　damn　him；　he　wasn't　going　to　have　the　satisfaction。
　　〃It's　not　a　problem…〃　Marty　said　flatly。　〃Or　if　it　is；　it's　mine。　I'm　still　getting　used　to　the　fact　that　she　won't　be　there　when　I　get　out。　That's　all　it　is；　really。〃　Toy　was　smiling　now；　an　amiable　smile。
　　〃Really；　Marty…〃　he　said；　〃…I　don't　want　to　pry。　I'm　only　concerned　that　we　understand　the　full　facts　of　the　situation。　Were　you　to　be　employed　by　Mr。　Whitehead；　you　would　be　required　to　live　on　his　estate　with　him；　and　it　would　be　a　necessary　condition　of　your　employment　that　you　could　not　leave　without　the　express　permission　of　either　Mr。　Whitehead　or　myself。　In　other　words　you　would　not　be　stepping　into　unconditional　freedom。　Far　from　it。　You　might　wish　to　consider　the　estate　as　a　sort　of　open　prison。　It's　important　for　me　to　know　of　any　ties　you　have　that　might　make　such　constraints　temptingly　easy　to　break。〃　〃Yes；　I　see。〃　〃Furthermore；　if　for　any　reason　your　relationship　with　Mr。　Whitehead　was　not　satisfactory；　if　you　or　he　felt　that　the　job　was　not　suitable；　then　I'm　afraid…〃
　　〃…I'd　be　back　here　to　finish　my　sentence。〃　〃Yes。〃　There　was　an　awkward　pause；　in　which　Toy　sighed　quietly。　It　took　him　only　a　moment　to　recover　his　equilibrium；　then　he　took　off　in　a　new　direction。
　　〃There's　just　a　few　more　questions　I'd　like　to　ask。　You've　done　some　boxing；　am　I　right？〃　〃Some。　A　while　back…〃　Toy　looked　disappointed。　〃You　gave　it　up？〃　〃Yes；〃　Marty　replied。　〃I　kept　on　with　the　weight　training　for　a　while。〃　〃Do　you　have　any　self…defense　training　of　any　kind？　Judo？　Karate？〃　Marty　contemplated　lying；　but　what　would　be　the　use　of　that？　All　Toy　had　to　do　was　consult　the　screws　at　Wandsworth。　〃No；〃　he　said。
　　〃Pity。〃　Marty's　belly　shrank。　〃I'm　healthy　though；〃　he　said。　〃And　strong。　I　can　learn。〃　He　was　aware　that　an　unwele　tremor　had　slipped　into　his　voice　from　somewhere。
　　〃We　don't　want　a　learner；　I'm　afraid；〃　Somervale　pointed　out；　barely　able　to　suppress　the　triumph　in　his　tone。
　　Marty　leaned　forward　across　the　table；　trying　to　blot　out　Somervale's　leechlike　presence。
　　〃I　can　do　this　job；　Mr。　Toy；〃　he　insisted；　〃I　know　I　can　do　this　job。　Just　give　me　a　chance…〃　The　tremor　was　growing；　his　belly　was　an　acrobat。　Better　stop　now；　before　he　said　or　did　something　he　regretted。　But　the　words　and　the　feelings　just　kept　on　ing。
　　〃Give　me　an　opportunity　to　prove　I　can　do　it。　That's　not　much　to　ask；　is　it？　And　if　I　fuck　it　up　it's　my　fault；　see？　Just　a　chance；　that's　all　I'm　asking。〃　Toy　looked　up　at　him　with　something　like　condolence　in　his　face。　Was　it　all　over　then？　Had　he　made　up　his　mind　already…one　wrong　answer　and　the　whole　thing　goes　sour…was　he　already　mentally　packing　up　his　briefcase　and　returning　the　Strauss；　M。　file　into　Somervale's　clammy　hands　to　be　slotted　back　between　one　forgotten　con　and　another？
　　Marty　bit　his　tongue；　and　sat　back　in　the　unfortable　chair；　fixing　his　gaze　on　his　trembling　hands。　He　couldn't　bear　to　look　at　the　bruised　elegance　of　Toy's　face；　not　now　that　he'd　opened　himself　up　so　wide。　Toy　would　see　in　oh　yes；　to　all　the　hurt　and　the　wanting；　and　he　couldn't　bear　that。
　　〃At　your　trial　。　。　。〃　Toy　said。
　　What　now？　Why　was　he　prolonging　the　agony？　All　Marty　wanted　was　to　go　to　his　cell；　where　Feaver　would　be　sitting　on　the　bunk　and　playing　with　his　dolls；　where　there　was　a　familiar　dullness　that　he　could　take　refuge　〃n。　But　Toy　wasn't　finished；　he　wanted　the　truth；　the　whole　truth　and　nothing　but。
　　〃At　your　trial　you　testified　that　your　prime　motivation　for　involvement　in　the　robbery　was　to　pay　off　substantial　gambling　debts。　Am　I　correct？〃　Marty　had　moved　his　attention　from　his　hands　to　his　shoes。　The　laces　were　undone；　and　though　they　were　long　enough　to　be　double…knotted　he　never　had　the　patience　to　work　at　plicated　knots。　He　liked　a　simple　bow。　When　you　needed　to　untie　a　bow　you　pulled　and　behold…like　magic…it　was　gone。
　　〃Is　that　right？〃　Toy　asked　again。
　　〃Yes；　that's　right；〃　Marty　told　him。　He'd　got　so　far；　why　not　finish　the　story？　〃There　were　four　of　us。　And　two　guns。　We　tried　to　take　a　security　van。　Things　got　out　of　hand。〃　He　glanced　up　from　his　shoes；　Toy　was　watching　intently。　〃The　driver　was　shot　in　the　stomach。　He　died　later。　It's　all　in　the　file；　isn't　it？〃　Toy　nodded。　〃And　about　the　van？　Is　that　in　the　file　too？〃　Toy　didn't　reply。　〃It　was　empty；〃　Marty　said。　〃We　had　it　wrong　from　the　beginning。　The　fucking　thing　was　empty。〃　〃And　the　debts？〃　〃Huh？〃　〃Your　debts　to　Macnamara。　They're　still　outstanding？〃　The　man　was　really　beginning　to　get　on　Marty's　nerves。　What　did　Toy　care　if　he　owed　a　few　grand　here　and　there？　This　was　just　sympathetic　camouflage；　so　that　he　could　make　a　dignified　exit。
　　〃Answer　Mr。　Toy；　Strauss；〃　Somervale　said。
　　〃What's　it　to　you？〃　〃Interest；〃　said　Toy；　frankly。
　　〃I　see。〃　Sod　his　interest；　Marty　thought；　he　could　choke　on　it。　They'd　had　as　much　of　a　confessional　as　they　were　going　to　get。
　　〃Can　I　go　now？〃　he　said。
　　He　looked　up。　Not　at　Toy　but　at　Somervale；　who　was　smirking　behind　his　cigarette　smoke；　well　satisfied　that　the　interview　had　been　a　disaster。
　　〃I　think　so；　Strauss；〃　he　said。　〃As　long　as　Mr。　Toy　doesn't　have　any　more　questions。〃　〃No；〃　said　Toy；　the　voice　dead。　〃No；　I'm　well　satisfied。〃　Marty　stood　up；　still　avoiding　Toy's　eyes。　The　small　room　was　full　of　ugly　sounds。　The　chair's　heels　scraping　on　the　floor；　the　rasp　of　Somervale's　smoker's　cough。　Toy　was　shunting　away　his　notes。　It　was　all　over。
　　Somervale　said：　〃You　can　go。〃　〃I've　enjoyed　meeting　you；　Mr。　Strauss；〃　Toy　said　to　Marty's　back　as　he　reached　the　door；　and　Marty　turned　around　without　thinking　to　see　the　other　man　smiling　at　him；　his　hand　extended　to　be　shaken。　I've　enjoyed　meeting　you；　Mr。　Strauss。
　　Marty　nodded　and　shook　hands。
　　〃Thank　you　for　your　time；〃　Toy　said。
　　Marty　closed　the　door　behind　him　and　made　his　way　back　to　his　cell；　escorted　by　Priestley；　the　landing　officer。　They　said　nothing。
　　Marty　watched　the　birds　swooping　in　the　roof　of　the　building；　alighting　on　the　landing　rails　for　tidbits。　They　came　and　they　went　when　it　suited　them；　finding　niches　to　nest　in；　taking　their　sovereignty　for　granted。　He　envied　them　nothing。　Or　if　he　did；　now　wasn't　the　time　to　admit　to　it。
　　
　　6
　　Thirteen　days　passed；　and　there　was　no　further　word　from　either　Toy　or　Somervale。　Not　that　Marty　was　truly　expecting　any。　The　chance　had　been　lost；　he'd　almost　stage…managed　its　final　moments　with　his　refusal　to　talk　about　Macnamara。　That　way　he　had　expect