cb.damnationgame-第40节
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f it。 When she had; she'd go after Marty and help him search for Papa。 The old man had been here recently; that much was apparent。 That he'd left without his gun did not augur well。
An insinuating voice stirred her from her meditation; and she looked up。 There was a smudge in the steam; in front of her; a paleness projected onto the air。 She squinted to try to make sense of it。 It seemed to have the texture of white dots。 She stood up; and…far from vanishing…the illusion strengthened。 Filaments were spreading to connect one dot to the next; and she almost laughed with recognition as all at once the puzzle came clear。 It was blossom she was looking at; brilliant white heads of it caught in sun or starlight。 Twitched by some sourceless wind; the branches threw down flurries of petals。 They seemed to graze her face; though when she put her fingers to the places there was nothing there。
In her years of addiction to H she'd never dreamed an image that was so superficially benign and yet so charged with threat。 It wasn't hers; this tree。 She hadn't made it from her own head。 It belonged to someone who'd been here before her: the Architect; no doubt。 He'd shown this spectacle to Papa; and its echoes lingered。
She tried to look away; around to the door; but her eyes were glued to the tree。 She couldn't seem to unfix them。 She had the impression that the blossom was swelling; as if more buds were ing into bloom。 The blankness of the tree…its horrid purity…was filling her eyes; the whiteness congealing and fattening。
And then; somewhere beneath these swaying; laden branches; a figure moved。 A woman with burning eyes lifted her broken head in Carys〃 direction。 Her presence brought the nausea back。 Carys felt faint。 This wasn't the time to lose consciousness。 Not with the blossom still bursting and the woman beneath the tree moving out of hiding toward her。 She had been beautiful; this one: and used to admiration。 But chance had intervened。 The body had been cruelly maimed; the beauty spoiled。 When; finally; she emerged from hiding; Carys knew her as her own。
〃Mama。〃 Evangeline Whitehead opened her arms; and offered her daughter an embrace she had never offered while alive。 In death; had she discovered the capacity to love as well as be loved? No。 Never。 The open arms were a trap; Carys knew it。 If she fell into them the tree; and its Maker; would have her; forever。
Her head thundering; she forced herself to look away。 Her limbs were like jelly; she wondered if she had the strength to move。 Unsteadily; she craned her head toward the door。 To her shock she saw that it was wide open。 The bolt had been wrenched off as the door was beaten open。
〃Marty?〃 she said。
〃No。〃 She turned again; this time to her left; and the dog…killer was standing no more than two yards from her。 He had washed his hands and face of bloodstains; and he smelled strongly of perfume。
〃You're safe with me;〃 he said。
She glanced back at the tree。 It was dissolving; its illusory life dispersed by the brute's interruption。 Carys〃 mother; arms still outstretched; was growing thin and wretched。 At the last instant before she disappeared she opened her mouth and vomited a stream of black blood toward her daughter。 Then the tree and its horrors were gone。 There was only the steam; and the tiles; and a man with dog's blood under his fingernails standing beside her。 She'd heard nothing of his forced entry: the reverie at the tree had muted the outside world。
〃You shouted;〃 he explained。 〃I heard you shout。〃 She didn't remember doing so。 〃I want Marty;〃 she told him。
〃No;〃 he replied politely。
〃Where is he?〃 she demanded; and made a move; albeit weakly; toward the open door。
〃I said no!〃 He stepped in her path。 He didn't need to touch her。 His very proximity was sufficient to halt her。 She contemplated trying to slip by him; and out into the hallway; but how far could she get before he caught her? There were two basic rules when dealing with mad dogs and psychotics。 The first: don't run。 The second: show no fear。 When he reached out toward her she tried not to recoil。
〃I won't let anybody hurt you;〃 he said。 He ran the ball of his thumb across the back of her hand; finding a speck of sweat there; and brushing it away。 His stroke was feather…light; and ice…cold。
〃Will you let me look after you; pretty?〃 he asked。
She said nothing; his touch appalled her。 Not for the first time tonight she wished she weren't a sensitive: she'd never felt such distress at another human's touch。
〃I would like to make you fortable;〃 he was saying。 〃Share 。 。 。〃 He stopped; as though the words escaped him。 〃。 。 。 your secrets。〃 She looked up into his face。 The muscles of his jaw fluttered as he made his proposals; nervous as an adolescent。
〃And in return;〃 he proposed; 〃I'll show you my secrets。 You want to see?〃 He didn't wait for an answer。 His hand had plunged into the pocket of his stained jacket and was taking out a clutch of razors。 Their edges glinted。 It was too absurd: like a fairground sideshow; but played without the razzmatazz。 This clown; smelling of sandalwood; was about to eat razors to win her love。 He put out his dry tongue and laid the first blade on it。 She didn't like this one bit; razors made her nervous; and always had。
〃Don't;〃 she said。
〃It's all right;〃 he told her; swallowing hard。 〃I'm the last of the tribe。 See?〃 He opened his mouth and put out his tongue。 〃All gone。〃 〃Extraordinary;〃 she said。 It was。 Revolting; but extraordinary。
〃That's not all;〃 he said; pleased by her response。
It was best to let him go on with this bizarre display; she reasoned。 The longer he took showing her these perversities; the more chance there was of Marty ing back。
〃What else can you do?〃 she asked。
He let go of her hand and started to unbuckle his belt。
〃I'll show you;〃 he replied; unbuttoning。
Oh; Christ; she thought; stupid; stupid; stupid。 His arousal at this exhibition was absolutely plain even before he had his trousers down。
〃I'm past pain now;〃 he explained courteously。 〃No pain; whatever I do to myself。 The Razor…Eater feels nothing。〃 He was naked beneath his trousers。 〃See?〃 he said; proudly。
She saw。 His groin was pletely shaved; and the region sported an array…of self…inflicted adornments。 Hooks and rings transfixing the fat of his lower belly and his genitals。 His testicles bristled with needles。
〃Touch me;〃 he invited。
〃No 。 。 。 thank you;〃 she said。
He frowned; his upper lip curled to expose teeth that in his pale flesh looked bright yellow。
〃I want you to touch me;〃 he said; and reached for her。
〃Breer。 〃 The Razor…Eater stood absolutely still。 Only his eyes flickered。
〃Let her alone。〃 She knew the voice; too well。 It was the Architect; of course; her dreamguide。
〃I didn't hurt her;〃 Breer mumbled。 〃Did I? Tell him I didn't hurt you。〃 〃Cover yourself up;〃 the European said。
Breer hoisted up his trousers like a boy caught masturbating; and moved away from Carys; throwing her a conspiratorial glance。 Only now did the speaker e into the steam room。 He was taller than she'd dreamed he'd be; and more doleful。
〃I'm sorry;〃 he said。 His tone was that of the perfect maitre d〃; apologizing for a gauche waiter。
〃She was sick;〃 Breer said。 〃That's why I broke in。〃 〃Sick?〃 〃Talking to the wall;〃 he blustered。 〃Calling after her mother。〃 The Architect understood the observation immediately。 He looked at Carys keenly。
〃So you saw?〃 he said。
〃What was it?〃 〃Nothing you need ever suffer again;〃 he replied。
〃My mother was there。 Evangeline。〃 〃Forget it all;〃 he said。 〃That horror's for others; not for you。〃 Listening to his calm voice was mesmeric。 She found it difficult to recall her nightmares of nullity; his presence canceled memory。
〃I think perhaps you should e with me;〃 he said。
〃Why?〃 〃Your father's going to die; Carys。〃 〃Oh?〃 she said。
She felt utterly removed from herself。 Fears were a thing of the past in his courteous presence。
〃If you stay here; you'll only suffer with him; and there's no need for that。〃 It was a seductive offer; never to live under the old man's thumb again; never to endure his kisses; that tasted so old。 Carys glanced at Breer。
〃Don't be afraid of him;〃 the Architect reassured her; laying a hand。 on the back of her neck。 〃He is nothing and no one。 You're safe with me。〃 〃She could run away;〃 Breer protested; when the European had let Carys go off to her room to gather up her belongings。
〃She will never leave me;〃 Mamoulian replied。 〃I mean her no harm and she knows it。 I rocked her once; in these arms。〃 〃Naked; was she?〃 〃A tiny thing: so vulnerable。〃 His voice dropped to a near…whisper: 〃She deserved better than him。〃 Breer said nothing; simply lolled insolently against the wall; peeling dried blood from under his nails with a razor。 He was deteriorating faster than the European had anticipated。 He'd hoped Breer would survive until all of this chaos was over; but knowing the old man; he'd wheedle and prevaricate; and what should have taken days would occupy weeks; by which time the Razor…Eater's condition would be poor indeed。 The European fe