hr.thecarpetbaggers-第53节

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s。　〃A　little　more　champagne？〃
　Rina　nodded。　She　sipped　and　handed　it　back　to　Margaret；　who　smiled　at　her；　then　put　the　glass　down。
　〃I'm　glad　we're　going　to　Europe　together；〃　Rina　said　suddenly。　〃I've　never　really　had　a　close　girl　friend　before。　The　girls　at　school　always　seemed　such　ninnies　to　me。　Always　talking　about　boys。〃
　〃They're　nothing　but　silly　children；　most　of　them；〃　Margaret　said。　〃That's　why　I　liked　you　the　moment　you　came　into　my　room　that　night。　I　knew　you　were　different；　more　mature。〃
　〃Ever　since　Laddie　died；　I　couldn't　stand　boys；〃　Rina　said。
　〃Laddie？〃
　〃My　brother；〃　Rina　explained。　〃He　and　my　father　are　the　only　two　men　that　I　ever　really　liked。〃
　〃He　must　have　been　very　nice；〃　Margaret　said。
　〃He　was。〃　Rina　turned　her　head　away。　〃I　think　I　was　in　love　with　him。〃
　〃That's　nothing；〃　Margaret　said　quickly。　〃All　girls　love　their　brothers。〃
　〃He　really　wasn't　my　brother；　you　know。　I　was　adopted。〃
　〃How　do　you　know　you　loved　him？〃　Margaret　asked；　faint　jealousy　stirring　within　her。
　〃I　know；〃　Rina　answered。　〃And　I　think　he　loved　me；　too。〃
　〃You　do？〃　Margaret　asked；　the　jealousy　stronger。　〃Did　he…　did　you？〃
　Rina　looked　away。　〃I　never　spoke　to　anyone　about　it　before。〃
　〃You　can　talk　to　me；〃　Margaret　said。　〃I'm　your　friend。　We　have　no　secrets　between　us。〃
　〃You　won't　be　angry　with　me？〃
　〃I　won't　be　angry　with　you；〃　Margaret　said　almost　sharply。　〃Tell　me！〃
　Rina's　voice　was　muffled　by　the　pillow。　〃I　wouldn't　let　him　touch　me　because　I　was　afraid　of　what　would　happen。　Then　one　day；　he　came　into　my　room　and　tied　my　hands　to　the　bed　with　his　belt　and　he　did　it　to　me。　He　hurt　me　so　bad！〃
　〃He　couldn't　have　loved　you　so　much　if　he　hurt　you。〃
　〃But　he　did！〃　Rina　said　wildly。　〃Don't　you　see；　Peggy？　I　wanted　him　to。　All　the　time　I　kept　daring　him　and　when　he　did；　I　knew　I　loved　him。　But　he　went　out　in　the　boat　with　Mother　and　they　died。〃　She　began　to　sob。　〃It　was　my　fault　because　I　wanted　him　to。　Can't　you　see　that　I　was　the　one　who　was　supposed　to　die；　not　Mother？　She　took　my　place　in　the　dream。　Now　I　don't　even　dream　the　dream　any　more。〃
　〃You'll　dream　your　dreams　again；〃　Margaret　said　slowly；　holding　Rina's　head　against　her　bosom。
　〃No；　I　won't！〃
　〃Yes；　you　will；〃　Margaret　said　firmly。　〃Tell　me　about　it　and　I'll　help　you。〃
　Rina　stopped　sobbing。　〃Do　you　think　you　could？〃　she　asked；　her　eyes　searching　Margaret's　face。
　〃Tell　me　and　we'll　see。〃
　Rina　took　a　deep　breath。　〃I　dreamed　that　I　was　dead　and　everybody　was　around　my　bed；　crying。　I　could　feel　how　much　they　loved　me　and　wanted　me　because　they　kept　begging　me　not　to　die。　But　I　couldn't　do　anything　about　it。　I　was　dead。〃
　Margaret　felt　a　cold　shiver　of　excitement　tremble　through　her。　Slowly　she　got　to　her　feet。　〃Close　your　eyes；　Rina；〃　she　said　quietly；　〃and　we'll　act　out　your　dream。　Whom　do　you　want　me　to　be？〃
　Rina　looked　up　at　her　shyly。　〃Will　you　be　Laddie？〃
　〃I'll　be　Laddie；〃　Margaret　answered。　〃Now　you　close　your　eyes。〃
　Margaret　looked　down　at　the　girl。　Suddenly　her　eyes　began　to　fill　with　tears。　A　sudden　fear　began　to　tear　through　her。　Rina　was　dead。　Rina　was　really　dead。　〃Rina！〃　she　cried　hoarsely。　〃Please　don't　die！　Please！〃
　Rina　did　not　move　and　Margaret　fell　to　her　knees　beside　the　bed。　〃Please；　Rina。　I　can't　live　without　you。〃　She　leaned　over　the　bed　and　covered　Rina's　face　with　kisses。
　Rina　opened　her　eyes　suddenly；　a　small；　proud　smile　on　her　face。　〃You're　really　crying；〃　she　said；　her　fingers　touching　Margaret's　cheek。　She　closed　her　eyes　again　contentedly。
　Slowly　Margaret　slipped　the　nightgown　off。　〃You're　beautiful；〃　she　whispered。　〃You're　the　most　beautiful　woman　in　the　world。　You're　much　too　beautiful　to　die。〃
　Rina　looked　up　at　her。　〃Do　you　really　think　I'm　beautiful？〃
　Margaret　nodded。　She　ripped　off　her　pajama　bottoms　and　let　them　fall　to　the　floor。　〃All　you　have　to　do　is　look　at　me　to　see　how　beautiful　you　really　are。〃　She　caught　Rina's　hand　and　pressed　it　to　her　breasts；　then　down　across　her　stomach　to　her　thighs。　〃Feel　how　flat　I　am；　just　like　a　man？〃
　Slowly　she　sank　down　onto　the　bed　beside　Rina；　gently　caressing　her　breasts；　pressing　her　lips　to　the　soft；　cool　cheeks。
　〃I　feel　so　safe　with　you；　so　good；〃　Rina　whispered。　〃You're　not　like　the　other　boys；　I　don't　like　them　to　touch　me。　I'm　afraid　of　them。　But　I'm　not　afraid　of　you。〃
　With　a　cry　of　agony；　Margaret　rolled；　her　knees　forcing　Rina's　legs　apart。　〃I　love　you；　Rina！　Please　don't　die！〃
　She　pressed　her　mouth　against　Rina's。　For　a　moment；　she　felt　the　fire　of　her　tongue　and　then　she　heard　Rina's　voice　whispering　huskily。　〃Laddie；　fuck　me；　fuck　me！　I　love　you；　Laddie！〃
　
　10
　RINA　LOOKED　DOWN　AT　HER　WATCH。　IT　WAS　HALF　PAST　two。　〃I　really　must　be　going；〃　she　said。
　〃To　hurry　after　such　a　lunch？〃　Jacques　Deschamps　spread　his　hands。　〃It　is　sacrilege。　You　must　have　a　liqueur　before　you　go。〃
　Rina　smiled　at　the　slim；　graying　avocat。　〃But…　I…　〃
　〃You　have　been　in　Paris　for　more　than　a　year；〃　Jacques　interrupted；　〃and　you　still　have　not　learned　that　one　does　not　hurry　after　a　meal。　Whatever　it　is；　it　will　wait。〃　He　hissed　at　a　passing　waiter；　〃Psst！〃
　The　waiter　stopped　and　bowed　respectfully；　〃Monsieur？〃
　Rina　sank　back　into　her　chair。　Jacques　looked　at　her　questioningly。　〃Pernod。　Over　ice。〃
　He　shuddered。　〃Over　ice；〃　he　repeated　to　the　waiter。　〃You　heard　mademoiselle。〃
　The　waiter　looked　at　her　quickly　with　that　glance　of　appraisal　that　all　Frenchmen　seemed　to　share。　〃Over　ice；　monsieur；〃　he　said。　〃The　usual　for　you？〃
　Jacques　nodded　and　the　waiter　left。　He　turned　back　to　Rina。　〃And　how　does　the　painting　go？〃　he　asked。　〃You　are　making　progress？〃
　Rina　laughed。　〃You　know　better　than　that。　I'm　afraid　I'll　never　be　a　painter。〃
　〃But　you　are　having　fun？〃
　She　turned　and　looked　out　at　the　street。　The　faint　smell　of　May　that　came　only　to　Paris　was　in　the　air。　The　truck　drivers　were　already　in　their　shirt　sleeves　and　the　women　had　long　since　begun　to　abandon　their　drab　gray　and　black　winter　coats。
　〃You　do　not　answer；〃　he　said。
　She　turned　back　to　him　as　the　waiter　came　with　their　drinks。　〃I'm　having　fun；〃　she　said；　picking　up　her　drink。
　〃You　are　not　sure？〃　he　persisted。
　She　smiled　suddenly。　〃Of　course　I'm　sure。〃
　He　lifted　his　glass。　〃à　votre　santé。〃
　〃à　votre　santé；〃　she　echoed。
　He　put　his　glass　down。　〃And　your　friend？〃　he　asked。　〃How　is　she？〃
　〃Peggy's　fine；〃　Rina　said　automatically。　She　looked　at　him　steadily。　〃Peggy　is　very　good　to　me。　I　don't　know　what　I'd　do　without　her。〃
　〃How　do　you　know？〃　he　said　quickly。　〃You　have　never　tried。　You　could　be　many　things。　You　are　young；　beautiful。　You　could　marry；　have　children；　you　could　even…　〃
　〃Be　your　mistress？〃　She　smiled；　interrupting。
　He　nodded　and　smiled。　〃Even　be　my　mistress。　That　is　not　the　worst　thing　that　could　happen。　But　you　remember　my　terms。〃
　She　looked　into　his　face。　〃You're　a　very　kind　man；　Jacques；〃　she　said；　remembering　the　afternoon　she　had　first　heard　them。
　She　and　Peggy　had　been　in　Paris　a　few　months　and　had　just　found　their　apartment；　after　her　father　had　given　his　permission　for　her　to　stay　in　Paris　for　a　year。　Peggy　had　taken　her　to　a　party　given　by　a　professor　at　the　University；　where　she　had　just　begun　to　work。
　Rina　felt　very　alone　at　the　party。　Her　French　was　not　good　enough　to　let　her　mix　easily　and　she　had　retreated　to　a　corner。　She　was　leafing　through　a　magazine　when　she　heard　a　voice。　〃Miss　Américaine？〃
　She　looked　up。　A　slim；　dark　man　with　a　touch　of　gray　at　his　temples　was　standing　there。　He　was　smiling　gently。
　〃Non　parle　fran…　〃
　〃I　speak　English；〃　he　said　quickly。
　She　smiled。
　〃And　what　is　a　pretty　girl　like　you　doing　all　alone　with　a　magazine？〃　he　asked。　〃Who　is　fool　enough　to　bring　you　to　a　party　like　this　and　then…　〃　He　gestured　expressively。
　〃My　friend　brought　me；〃　Rina　said；　indicating　Peggy。　〃She　has　just　got　a　job　at　the　University。〃
　Peggy　was　talking　animatedly　with　one　of　the　professors。　She　looked　very　attractive　in　her　slim；　tailored　suit。　〃Oh；〃　he　said；　a　strangely　quizzical　look　on　his　face。
　〃And　whom　did　you　bring？〃
　〃No　one。〃　He　shrugged。　〃Actually。　I　came　in　the　hopes　of　meeting　you。〃
　She　glanced　at　his　hands　and　saw　that　he　wore　a　wedding　ring；　as　so　many　Frenchmen　did。　〃You　don't　expect　me　to　believe　that？〃　she　said。　〃What　would　your　wife　say？〃
　He　smiled　and　laughed　with　her。　〃My　wife　would　be　very　understanding。　She　could　not　e　with　me。　She　is　very；　very　pregnant。〃　He　held　his　arms　out　in　an　exaggerated　circle　in　front　of　him。
　She　laughed　again　and　just　then；　Peggy's　voice　came　over　her　shoulder。　〃Having　fun；　darling？〃
　Some　weeks　later；　she　was　alone　in　the　apartment　one　afternoon　when　the　telephone　rang。　It　was　Jacques　and　she　met　him　for　lunch。　And　several　times　after　that。
　Then　one　afternoon　…　it　had　been　a　day　just　like　this　one　…　they　sat　dawdling　over　their　liqueurs。　〃Why　are　you　so　afraid　of　men？〃　he　asked　her　suddenly。
　She　felt　the　red　fire　creep　up　into　her　throat　and　over　her　face。　〃What　makes　you　say　that？〃
　〃I　have　the　feeling；〃　he　said。　〃Inside。　I　know。〃
　She　looked　down　at　her　drink。　She　didn't　speak。
　〃Your　friend　is　not　the　answer；〃　he　said。
　She　looked　up　at　him。　〃Peggy　has　nothing　to　do　with　it。　She'