rh.royalassassin-第41节

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l　the　young　women　of　the　court　flutter　their　fans　at　him；　and　how　all　the　young　men　mimic　his　clothes　and　mannerisms。　But　underneath　those　fine　feathers　there　is　much　ambition。　And　I　am　afraid　there　is　suspicion　there；　and　jealousy；　also。　I　have　never　told　you　this。　But　he　was　totally　opposed　to　my　undertaking　your　schooling；　as　well　as　to　your　learning　to　Skill。　Sometimes　I　think　it　is　as　well　that　you　failed　at　that；　for　had　you　succeeded；　his　jealousy　would　have　known　no　bounds。〃　She　paused；　and　finding　that　I　was　listening　with　a　sober　face；　she　went　on：　〃These　are　unsettled　times；　Fitz。　Not　just　because　of　the　Red…Ships　that　harry　our　shores。　It　is　a　time　when　any　b　。。。　born　as　you　were　should　be　careful。　There　are　those　who　smile　fairly　at　you；　but　may　be　your　enemy。　When　your　father　was　alive；　we　relied　on　the　fact　that　his　influence　would　be　enough　to　shelter　you。　But　after　he　was　。。。　he　died；　I　realized　that　as　you　grew　you　would　be　more　and　more　at　risk；　the　closer　you　came　to　manhood。　So；　when　I　decently　could；　I　forced　myself　to　e　back　to　court；　to　see　if　there　truly　was　need。　I　found　there　was；　and　I　found　you　worthy　of　my　help。　So　I　vowed　to　do　all　I　could　to　educate　and　protect　you。〃　She　allowed　herself　a　brief　smile　of　satisfaction。
　　　　　　　〃I　would　say　I　had　done　fairly　well　by　you　so　far。　But〃　and　she　leaned　closeres　a　time　when　even　I　will　not　be　able　to　protect　you。　You　must　begin　to　take　care　of　yourself。　You　must　recall　your　lessons　from　Hod；　and　review　them　with　her　often。　You　must　be　cautious　of　what　you　eat　and　drink；　and　be　wary　of　visiting　isolated　places　alone。　I　hate　to　put　these　fears　into　you；　FitzChivalry。　But　you　are　almost　a　man　now；　and　must　begin　to　think　of　such　things。〃
　　　　　　　Laughable。　Almost　a　farce。　So　I　could　have　seen　it；　to　have　this　sheltered；　reclusive　woman　speaking　to　me　so　earnestly　of　the　realities　of　the　world　I　had　survived　in　since　I　was　six。
　　　　　　　Instead；　I　found　tears　stinging　the　corners　of　my　eyes。　I　had　always　been　mystified　as　to　why　Patience　had　e　back　to　Buckkeep；　to　live　a　hermit's　life　in　the　midst　of　a　society　she　obviously　did　not　care　for。　Now　I　knew。　She　had　e　for　me；　for　my　sake。　To　protect　me。
　　　　　　　Burrich　had　sheltered　me。　So　had　Chade；　and　even　Verity　in　his　way。　And　of　course　Shrewd　had　claimed　me　as　his　own；　very　early。　But　all　of　them；　in　one　way　and　another；　had　stood　to　gain　by　my　survival。　Even　Burrich　would　have　seen　it　as　a　great　loss　of　pride　if　someone　had　managed　to　murder　me　while　I　was　under　his　protection。　Only　this　woman；　who　by　all　rights　should　have　abhorred　me；　had　e　to　shelter　me　for　my　sake　only。　She　was　so　often　foolish　and　meddlesome　and　sometimes　most　annoying。　But　as　our　eyes　met　I　knew　she　had　breached　the　final　wall　I　had　kept　between　us。　I　greatly　doubted　that　her　presence　had　done　anything　to　deter　bad　will　toward　me；　if　anything；　her　interest　in　me　must　have　been　a　constant　reminder　to　Regal　of　who　had　fathered　me。　But　it　was　not　the　deed；　but　the　intention　that　moved　me。　She　had　given　up　her　quiet　life；　her　orchards　and　gardens　and　woods；　to　e　here；　to　a　damp　castle　of　stone　on　the　sea　cliffs；　to　a　court　full　of　folk　she　cared　nothing　about；　to　watch　over　her　husband's　bastard。
　　　　　　　〃Thank　you；〃　I　said　quietly。　And　meant　it　with　all　my　heart。
　　　　　　　〃Well。〃　She　turned　aside　from　my　look　quickly。　〃Well。　You　are　wele；　you　know。〃
　　　　　　　〃I　know。　But　the　truth　was；　I　came　here　this　morning　thinking　that　perhaps　someone　should　warn　you　and　Lacey　to　be　careful　of　yourselves。　Times　are　unstable　here；　and　you　might　be　seen　as　an　。。。　obstacle。〃
　　　　　　　Now　Patience　laughed　aloud。　〃I！　I？　Funny；　dowdy；　foolish　old　Patience？　Patience；　who　cannot　keep　an　idea　fixed　in　her　head　for　more　than　ten　minutes？　Patience；　all　but　made　mad　by　her　husband's　death？　My　boy；　I　know　how　they　talk　of　me。　No　one　perceives　me　as　a　threat　to　anyone。　Why；　I　am　but　another　fool　here　at　the　court；　a　thing　to　be　made　sport　of。　I　am　quite　safe；　I　assure　you。　But；　even　if　I　were　not；　I　have　the　habits　of　a　lifetime　to　protect　me。　And　Lacey。〃
　　　　　　　〃Lacey？〃　I　could　not　keep　incredulity　from　my　voice　nor　a　grin　from　my　face。　I　turned　to　exchange　a　wink　with　Lacey。　Lacey　glared　at　me　as　if　affronted　by　my　smile。　Before　I　could　even　unfold　from　the　hearth；　Lacey　sprang　up　from　her　rocking　chair。　A　long　needle；　stripped　of　its　eternal　yarn；　prodded　my　jugular　vein；　while　the　other　probed　a　certain　space　between　my　ribs。　I　very　nearly　wet　myself。　I　looked　up　at　a　woman　I　suddenly　knew　not　at　all；　and　dared　not　make　a　word。
　　　　　　　〃Stop　teasing　the　child；〃　Patience　rebuked　her　gently。　〃Yes；　Fitz；　Lacey。　The　most　apt　pupil　that　Hod　ever　had；　even　if　she　did　e　to　Hod　as　a　grown　woman。〃　As　Patience　spoke　Lacey　took　her　weapons　away　from　my　body。　She　reseated　herself；　and　deftly　rethreaded　her　needles　into　her　work。　I　swear　she　didn't　even　drop　a　stitch。　When　she　was　finished；　she　looked　up　at　me。　She　winked。　And　went　back　to　her　knitting。　I　remembered　to　start　breathing　again。
　　　　　　　A　very　chastened　assassin　left　their　apartments　sometime　later。　As　I　made　my　way　down　the　hall　I　reflected　that　Chade　had　warned　me　I　was　underestimating　Lacey。　I　wondered　wryly　if　this　was　his　idea　of　humor；　or　of　teaching　me　greater　respect　for　seemingly　mild　folk。
　　　　　　　Thoughts　of　Molly　pushed　their　way　into　my　mind。　I　resolutely　refused　to　give　in　to　them；　but　could　not　resist　lowering　my　face　to　catch　that　faint　scent　of　her　on　the　shoulder　of　my　shirt。　I　took　the　foolish　smile　from　my　face　and　set　off　to　locate　Kettricken。　I　had　duties。
　　　　　　　I'm　hungry。
　　　　　　　The　thought　intruded　without　warning。　Shame　flooded　me。　I　had　taken　Cub　nothing　yesterday。　I　had　all　but　forgotten　him　in　the　sweep　of　the　day's　events。
　　　　　　　A　day's　fast　is　nothing。　Besides；　I　found　a　nest　of　mice　beneath　a　corner　of　the　cottage。　Do　you　think　I　cannot　care　for　myself　at　all？　But　something　more　substantial　would　be　pleasing。
　　　　　　　Soon；　I　promised　him。　There　is　a　thing　I　must　do　first。
　　　　　　　In　Kettricken's　sitting　chamber；　I　found　only　two　young　pages；　ostensibly　tidying；　but　giggling　as　I　came　in。　Neither　of　them　knew　anything。　I　next　tried　Mistress　Hasty's　weaving　room；　as　it　was　a　warm　and　friendly　chamber　where　many　of　the　Keep　women　gathered。　No　Kettricken；　but　Lady　Modesty　was　there。　She　told　me　that　her　mistress　had　said　she　needed　to　speak　with　Prince　Verity　this　morning。　Perhaps　she　was　with　him。
　　　　　　　But　Verity　was　not　in　his　chambers；　nor　his　map　room。　Charim　was　there；　however；　sorting　through　sheets　of　vellum　and　separating　them　by　quality。　Verity；　he　told　me；　had　arisen　very　early　and　immediately　set　out　for　his　boat　shed。　Yes；　Kettricken　had　been　there　this　morning；　but　it　had　been　after　Verity　left；　and　once　Charim　had　told　her　he　was　gone；　she；　too；　had　departed。　Where？　He　was　not　certain。
　　　　　　　By　this　time　I　was　starving；　and　I　excused　my　trip　to　the　kitchens　on　the　grounds　that　gossip　always　grew　thickest　there。　Perhaps　someone　there　would　know　where　our　queen…in…waiting　had　gone。　I　was　not　worried；　I　told　myself。　Not　yet。
　　　　　　　The　kitchens　of　Buckkeep　were　at　their　best　on　a　cold　and　blustery　day。　Steam　from　bubbling　stews　mingled　with　the　nourishing　aroma　of　baking　bread　and　roasting　meat。　Chilled　stable　boys　loitered　there；　chatting　with　the　kitchen　help　and　pilfering　fresh…baked　rolls　and　the　ends　of　cheeses；　tasting　stews　and　disappearing　like　mist　if　Burrich　appeared　in　the　door。　I　cut　myself　a　slab　of　cold　meal　pudding　from　the　morning's　cooking；　and　reinforced　it　with　honey　and　some　bacon　ends　that　Cook　was　rendering　down　for　cracklings。　As　I　ate　I　listened　to　the　talk。
　　　　　　　Oddly　enough；　few　people　spoke　directly　of　the　previous　day's　events。　I　grasped　it　would　take　a　while　for　the　Keep　to　e　to　terms　with　all　that　had　happened。　But　there　was　something　there；　a　feeling　almost　of　relief。　I　had　seen　that　before；　in　a　man　who　had　had　his　maimed　foot　removed；　or　the　family　that　finally　finds　their　drowned　child's　body。　To　finally　confront　the　worst　there　is；　to　look　it　squarely　in　the　face　and　say；　〃I　know　you。　You　have　hurt　me；　almost　to　death；　but　still　I　live。　And　I　will　go　on　living。〃　That　was　the　feeling　I　got　from　the　folk　of　the　Keep。　All　had　finally　acknowledged　the　severity　of　our　injuries　from　the　Red…Ships。　Now　there　was　a　sense　that　we　might　begin　to　heal；　and　to　fight　back。
　　　　　　　I　did　not　wish　to　make　direct　inquiries　down　here　as　to　where　the　Queen　might　be。　As　luck　would　have　it；　one　of　the　stable　boys　was　speaking　of　Softstep。　Some　of　the　blood　I　had　seen　on　the　horse's　shoulder　the　previous　day　had　been　her　own；　and　the　boys　were　talking　of　how　the　horse　had　snapped　at　Burrich　when　he　tried　to　work　on　her　shoulder；　and　how　it　had　taken　two　of　them　to　hold　her　head。　I　wangled　my　way　into　the　conversation。　〃Perhaps　a　horse　of　less　temperament　would　be　a　better　mount　for　the　Queen？〃　I　suggested。
　　　　　　　〃Ah；　no。　Our　queen　likes　Softstep's　pride　and　spirit。　She　said　so　herself；　to　me；　when　she　was　down　in　the　stables　this　morning。　She　came　herself；　to　see　the　horse；　and　to　ask　when　she　might　be　ridden　again。　She　spoke　directly　to　me；　she　did。　So　I　told　her；　no　horse　wanted　to　be　ridden　on　a　day　such　as　this；　let　alone　with　a　gashed　shoulder。　And　Q