rh.royalassassin-第19节

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　　　　　　　But　Chade　was　not　there。　No；　he　was　at　the　other　end　of　the　chamber；　where　a　fatly　cushioned　chair　faced　a　hearth　with　a　dancing　fire。　Carpets　overlay　one　another　over　the　floor　there；　and　an　elegantly　carved　table　held　a　glass　bowl　of　fall　apples　and　a　decanter　of　summer　wine。　Chade　was　ensconced　in　the　chair；　a　partially　unrolled　scroll　held　to　the　light　as　he　read　it。　Did　he　hold　it　farther　from　his　nose　than　once　he　had；　and　were　his　spare　arms　more　desiccated？　I　wondered　if　he　had　aged　in　the　months　I　had　been　away；　or　if　I　had　simply　not　noticed　before。　His　gray　woolen　robe　looked　as　well…worn　as　ever；　and　his　long　gray　hair　overlay　its　shoulders　and　seemed　the　same　color。　As　always；　I　stood　silent　until　he　deigned　to　look　up　and　recognize　my　presence。　Some　things　changed；　but　some　things　did　not。
　　　　　　　He　finally　lowered　the　scroll　and　looked　my　way。　He　had　green　eyes；　and　their　lightness　was　always　surprising　in　his　Farseer　face。　Despite　the　poxlike　scars　that　stippled　his　face　and　arms；　his　bastard　bloodlines　were　almost　as　plain…marked　as　mine。　I　suppose　I　could　have　claimed　his　as　a　great…uncle；　but　our　apprentice…to…master　relationship　was　closer　than　a　blood　tie。　He　looked　me　over　and　I　self…consciously　stood　straighter　under　his　scrutiny。　His　voice　was　grave　as　he　manded；　〃Boy；　e　into　the　light。〃
　　　　　　　I　advanced　a　dozen　steps　and　stood　apprehensively。　He　studied　me　as　intently　as　he　had　studied　the　scroll。　〃Were　we　ambitious　traitors；　you　and　I；　we　would　make　sure　folk　marked　your　resemblance　to　Chivalry。　I　could　teach　you　to　stand　as　he　stood；　you　already　walk　as　he　did。　I　could　show　you　how　to　add　lines　to　your　face　to　make　you　appear　older。　You　have　most　of　his　height。　You　could　learn　his　catchphrases；　and　the　way　he　laughed。　Slowly；　we　could　gather　power；　in　quiet　ways；　with　none　even　recognizing　what　they　were　conceding。　And　one　day；　we　could　step　up　and　take　power。〃
　　　　　　　He　paused。　。
　　　　　　　Slowly　I　shook　my　head。　Then　we　both　smiled；　and　I　came　to　sit　on　the　hearthstones　by　his　feet。　The　warmth　of　the　fire　on　my　back　felt　good。
　　　　　　　〃It's　my　trade；　I　suppose。〃　He　sighed　and　took　a　sip　of　his　wine。　〃I　have　to　think　of　these　things；　for　I　know　that　others　will。　One　day；　sooner　or　later；　some　petty　noble　will　believe　it　an　original　idea　and　approach　you　with　it。　Wait　and　see　if　I　am　not　right。〃
　　　　　　　〃I　pray　you　are　wrong。　I　have　had　enough　of　intrigues；　Chade；　and　not　fared　as　well　at　that　game　as　I　had　expected　to。
　　　　　　　〃You　did　not　do　badly；　with　the　hand　you　were　dealt。　You　survived。〃　He　looked　past　me　into　the　fire。　A　question　hung　between　us；　almost　palpably。　Why　had　King　Shrewd　revealed　to　Prince　Regal　that　I　was　his　trained　assassin？　Why　had　he　put　me　in　the　position　of　reporting　to　and　taking　orders　from　a　man　who　wished　me　dead？　Had　he　traded　me　away　to　Regal；　to　distract　him　from　his　other　discontents？　And　if　I　had　been　a　sacrificial　pawn；　was　I　still　being　dangled　as　bait　and　a　distraction　to　the　younger　Prince？　I　think　not　even　Chade　could　have　answered　all　my　questions；　and　to　ask　any　of　them　would　have　been　blackest　betrayal　of　what　we　were　both　sworn　to　be：　King's　Men。　Both　of　us　long　ago　had　given　our　lives　into　Shrewd's　keeping；　for　the　protection　of　the　royal　family。　It　was　not　for　us　to　question　how　he　chose　to　spend　us。　That　way　lay　treason。
　　　　　　　So　Chade　lifted　the　summer　wine　and　filled　a　waiting　glass　for　me。　For　a　brief　time　we　conversed　of　things　that　were　of　no　import　to　any　save　us；　and　all　the　more　precious　for　that。　I　asked　after　Slink　the　weasel；　and　he　haltingly　offered　sympathy　over　Nosy's　death。　He　asked　a　question　or　two　that　let　me　know　he　was　privy　to　everything　I　had　reported　to　Verity；　and　a　lot　of　stable　gossip　as　well。　I　was　filled　in　on　the　minor　gossip　of　the　Keep；　and　all　the　doings　I　had　missed　among　the　lesser　folk　while　I　was　gone。　But　when　I　asked　him　what　he　thought　of　Kettricken；　our　queen…in…waiting；　his　face　grew　grave。
　　　　　　　〃She　faces　a　difficult　path。　She　es　to　a　Queenless　court；　where　she　herself　is　and　yet　is　not　the　Queen。　She　es　in　a　time　of　hardship；　to　a　kingdom　facing　both　raiders　and　civil　unrest。　But　most　difficult　for　her　is　that　she　es　to　a　court　that　does　not　understand　her　concept　of　royalty。　She　has　been　besieged　with　feasts　and　gatherings　in　her　honor。　She　is　used　to　walking　out　among　her　own　people；　to　tending　her　own　gardens　and　looms　and　forge；　to　solving　disputes　and　sacrificing　herself　to　spare　her　people　hardship。　Here；　she　finds；　her　society　is　solely　the　nobility；　the　；privileged；　the　wealthy。　She　does　not　understand　the　consumption　of　wine　and　exotic　foods；　the　display　of　costly　fabrics　in　dress；　the　flaunting　of　jewels　that　are　the　purpose　of　these　gatherings。　And　so　she　does　not　‘show　well。'　She　is　a　handsome　woman；　in　her　way。　But　she　is　too　big；　too　heartily　muscled；　too　fair　amongst　the　Buckkeep　women。　She　is　like　a　charger　stabled　among　hunters。　Her　heart　is　good；　but　I　do　not　know　if　she　will　be　sufficient　to　the　task；　boy。　In　truth；　I　pity　her。　She　came　here　alone；　you　know。　Those　few　who　acpanied　her　here　have　long　since　returned　to　the　Mountains。　So　she　is　very　alone　here；　despite　those　who　court　her　favor。〃
　　　　　　　〃And　Verity；〃　I　asked；　troubled。　〃He　does　nothing　to　allay　that　loneliness；　nothing　to　teach　her　of　our　ways？〃
　　　　　　　〃Verity　has　little　time　for　her；〃　Chade　said　bluntly。　〃He　tried　to　explain　this　to　King　Shrewd　before　the　marriage　was　arranged；　but　we　did　not　listen　to　him。　King　Shrewd　and　I　were　beguiled　with　the　political　advantages　she　offered。　I　forgot　there　would　be　a　woman　here；　in　this　court；　day　after　day。　Verity　has　his　hands　full。　Were　they　just　a　man　and　a　woman；　and　given　time；　I　think　they　could　genuinely　care　for　one　another。　But　here　and　now；　they　must　devote　all　their　efforts　to　appearance。　Soon　an　heir　will　be　demanded。　They　have　no　time　to　get　to　know　one　another；　let　alone　care　for　one　another。〃　He　must　have　seen　the　pain　in　my　face；　for　he　added；　〃That's　how　it　has　always　been　for　royalty；　boy。　Chivalry　and　Patience　were　the　exception。　And　they　bought　their　happiness　at　the　cost　of　political　advantages。　It　was　unheard　of；　for　the　King…in…Waiting　to　marry　for　love。　I'm　sure　you've　heard　over　and　over　how　foolish　a　thing　it　was。〃
　　　　　　　〃And　I'd　always　wondered　if　he'd　cared。〃
　　　　　　　〃It　cost　him；〃　Chade　said　quietly。　〃I　don't　think　he　regretted　his　decision。　But　he　was　king…in…waiting。　You　don't　have　that　latitude。〃
　　　　　　　Here　it　came。　I'd　suspected　he'd　know　everything。　And　useless　to　hope　he'd　say　nothing。　I　felt　a　slow　flush　steal　up　my　face。　〃Molly。〃
　　　　　　　He　nodded　slowly。　〃It　was　one　thing　when　it　was　down　in　town；　and　you　were　more　or　less　a　boy。　That　could　be　ignored。　But　now　you're　being　seen　as　a　man。　When　she　came　here　asking　after　you；　it　started　tongues　wagging　and　folk　speculating。　Patience　was　remarkably　agile　at　hushing　the　rumors　and　taking　charge　of　the　situation。　Not　that　I'd　have　kept　the　woman　here；　had　it　been　left　to　me。　But　Patience　handled　it　well　enough。〃
　　　　　　　〃The　woman　。。。〃　I　repeated；　stung。　If　he'd　said　〃the　whore〃　I　couldn't　have　felt　it　more　sharply。　〃Chade；　you　misjudge　her。　And　me。　It　began　as　a　friendship；　a　long　time　ago；　and　if　anyone　was　at　fault　in　。。。　how　things　went；　it　was　me；　not　Molly。　I'd　always　thought　that　the　friends　I　made　in　town；　that　the　time　I　spent　there　as　‘Newboy'　belonged　to　me。〃　I　faltered　to　a　halt；　hearing　only　the　foolishness　of　my　words。
　　　　　　　〃Did　you　think　you　could　lead　two　lives？〃　Chade's　voice　was　soft　but　not　gentle。　〃We　belong　to　the　King；　boy。　King's　Men。　Our　lives　belong　to　him。　Every　moment；　of　every　day；　asleep　or　awake。　You　have　no　time　for　your　own　concerns。　Only　his。〃
　　　　　　　I　shifted　slightly；　to　look　into　the　fire。　I　considered　what　I　knew　of　Chade　in　that　light。　I　met　him　here；　by　darkness；　in　these　isolated　chambers。　I　had　never　seen　him　out　and　about　around　Buckkeep。　No　one　spoke　his　name　to　me。　Occasionally；　disguised　as　Lady　Thyme；　he　ventured　forth。　Once　we　had　ridden　together　through　the　night；　to　that　first　awful　Forging　at　Forge。　But　even　that　had　been　at　the　King's　mand。　What　did　Chade　have　for　a　life？　A　chamber；　good　food　and　wine；　and　a　weasel　for　a　panion。　He　was　Shrewd's　older　brother。　But　for　his　bastardy；　he　would　be　upon　the　throne。　Was　his　life　a　foreshadowing　of　what　mine　was　to　be？
　　　　　　　〃No。〃
　　　　　　　I　hadn't　spoken；　but　as　I　looked　up　into　Chade's　face　he　guessed　my　thoughts。　〃I　chose　this　life；　boy。　After　a　mishandled　potion　exploded　and　scarred　me。　I　was　handsome；　once。　And　vain。　Almost　as　vain　as　Regal。　When　I　ruined　my　face；　I　wished　myself　dead。　For　months　I　did　not　stir　out　of　my　chambers。　When　I　finally　went　forth；　it　was　in　disguises；　not　Lady　Thyme；　not　then；　no。　But　disguises　that　covered　my　face　and　my　hands。　I　left　Buckkeep。　For　a　long　time。　And　when　I　came　back；　that　handsome　young　man　I　had　been　was　dead。　I　found　myself　more　useful　to　the　family；　now　that　I　was　dead。　There　is　much　more　to　that　story；　boy。　But　know　that　I　chose　the　way　I　live。　It　was　not　something　Shrewd　forced　me　into。　I　did　it　myself。　Your　fixture　may　be　different。　But　do　not　imagine　it　is　yours　to　mand。〃
　　　　　　　Curiosity　prodded　me。　〃Is　that　why　Chivalry　and　Verity　knew　of　you