rh.royalassassin-第14节

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　　　　　　　He　set　down　his　wineglass　and　turned　to　look　at　me。　〃Must　you？〃　he　asked　in　an　odd　tone。
　　　　　　　I　looked　up　and　met　his　eyes。　I　swallowed。　I　brought　myself　to　my　feet。　〃My　prince；〃　I　began　formally。　〃I　would　ask　your　kind　permission　to　be　excused　from　duties　tomorrow；　that　I　might　。。。　pursue　errands　of　my　own。〃
　　　　　　　He　let　me　stand　for　a　moment。　Then：　〃Oh；　sit　down；　Fitz。　Petty。　I　suppose　that　was　petty　of　me。　Thinking　of　Regal　puts　me　in　such　a　frame　of　mind。　Certainly　you　can　have　the　day；　boy。　If　anyone　asks；　you　are　on　my　business。　Might　I　ask　what　this　urgent　errand　is？〃
　　　　　　　I　looked　into　the　fire　at　the　leaping　flames。　〃My　friend　was　living　in　Siltbay。　I　need　to　find　out…〃
　　　　　　　〃Oh；　Fitz。〃　There　was　more　sympathy　in　Verity's　voice　than　I　could　withstand。
　　　　　　　A　sudden　wave　of　weariness　washed　over　me。　I　was　glad　to　sit　again。　My　hands　began　to　tremble。　I　put　them　below　the　table　and　clasped　them　to　still　them。　I　still　felt　the　tremors；　but　at　least　no　one　could　see　my　weakness　now。
　　　　　　　He　cleared　his　throat。　〃Go　to　your　room　and　rest；〃　he　said　kindly。　〃Do　you　want　a　man　to　ride　with　you　to　Siltbay　tomorrow？〃
　　　　　　　I　shook　my　head　dumbly；　suddenly　and　miserably　certain　of　what　I　would　discover。　The　thought　made　me　sick。　Another　shudder　went　through　me。　I　tried　to　breathe　slowly；　to　calm　myself　and　edge　back　from　the　fit　that　threatened。　I　could　not　abide　the　thought　of　shaming　myself　that　way　before　Verity。
　　　　　　　〃Shame　to　me；　not　you；　to　have　ignored　how　ill　you　have　been。〃　He　had　arisen　silently。　He　set　his　glass　of　wine　before　me。　〃The　damage　you　took　was　taken　for　me。　I　am　appalled　by　what　I　allowed　to　befall　you。〃
　　　　　　　I　forced　myself　to　meet　Verity's　eyes。　He　knew　all　that　I　tried　to　conceal。　Knew　it；　and　was　miserable　with　guilt。
　　　　　　　〃It　is　not　often　this　bad；〃　I　offered　him。
　　　　　　　He　smiled　at　me；　but　his　eyes　did　not　change。　〃You　are　an　excellent　liar；　Fitz。　Do　not　think　your　training　has　gone　awry。　But　you　cannot　lie　to　a　man　who　has　been　with　you　as　much　as　I　have；　not　just　these　last　few　days；　but　often　during　your　illness。　If　any　other　man　says　to　you；　‘I　know　just　how　you　feel；'　you　may　regard　it　as　a　politeness。　But　from　me　accept　it　as　truth。　And　I　know　that　with　you　it　is　as　it　is　with　Burrich。　I　shall　not　offer　you　the　pick　of　the　colts　a　few　months　hence。　I　do　offer　you　my　arm；　if　you　wish　it；　to　get　back　to　your　room。〃
　　　　　　　〃I　can　manage；〃　I　said　stiffly。　I　was　aware　of　how　he　honored　me；　but　also　of　how　plainly　he　saw　my　weakness。　I　wanted　to　be　alone；　to　hide　myself。
　　　　　　　He　nodded；　understanding。　〃Would　that　you　had　mastered　the　Skill。　I　could　offer　you　strength；　just　as　I　have　too　often　taken　it　from　you。〃
　　　　　　　〃I　could　not；〃　I　muttered；　unable　to　mask　how　distasteful　I　would　find　the　drawing　off　of　another　man's　strength　to　replace　my　own。　I　instantly　regretted　the　moment　of　shame　I　saw　in　my　prince's　eyes。
　　　　　　　〃I；　too；　could　once　speak　with　such　pride；〃　he　said　quietly。　〃Go　get　some　rest；　boy。〃　He　turned　slowly　aside　from　me。　He　busied　himself　setting　out　his　inks　and　his　vellum　once　more。　I　left　quietly。
　　　　　　　We　had　been　closeted　for　the　whole　day。　Outside；　it　was　full　dark。　The　castle　had　the　settled　air　of　a　winter's　evening。　The　tables　cleared；　the　folk　would　be　gathered　about　the　hearths　in　the　Great　Hall。　Minstrels　might　be　singing；　or　a　puppeteer　moving　his　gangly　charges　through　a　story。　Some　folk　would　watch　while　fletching　arrows；　some　would　be　plying　needles；　children　would　be　spinning　tops　or　matching　markers　or　drowsing　against　their　parents'　knees　or　shoulders。　All　was　secure。　Outside；　the　winter　storms　blew　and　kept　us　safe。
　　　　　　　I　walked　with　a　drunkard's　caution；　avoiding　the　mon　areas　where　folk　had　gathered　for　the　evening。　I　folded　my　arms　and　hunched　my　shoulders　as　if　chilled；　and　so　stilled　the　trembling　in　my　arms。　I　climbed　the　first　flight　of　stairs　slowly；　as　if　lost　in　thought。　On　the　landing　I　permitted　myself　to　pause　for　a　count　of　ten；　then　forced　myself　to　begin　the　next　flight。
　　　　　　　But　as　I　set　my　foot　to　the　first　step；　Lacey　came　bounding　down。　A　plump　woman　more　than　a　score　of　years　older　than　myself；　she　still　moved　down　the　steps　with　a　child's　skipping　gait。　As　she　reached　the　bottom　she　seized　me　with　a　cry　of　〃There　you　are！〃　as　if　I　were　a　pair　of　shears　she'd　misplaced　from　her　sewing　basket。　She　clutched　my　arm　firmly　and　turned　me　toward　the　hall。　〃I've　been　up　and　down　those　stairs　a　dozen　times　today　if　I've　been　once。　My；　you've　gotten　taller。　Lady　Patience　has　not　been　at　all　herself　and　it's　your　fault。　At　first　she　expected　you　to　tap　on　the　door　any　moment。　She　was　so　pleased　you　were　finally　home。〃　She　paused　to　look　up　at　me　with　her　bright　bird　eyes。　〃That　was　this　morning；〃　she　confided。　Then：　〃You　have　been　ill！　Such　circles　under　your　eyes。〃
　　　　　　　Without　giving　me　a　chance　to　reply；　she　went　on；　〃By　early　afternoon；　when　you　hadn't　arrived；　she　began　to　be　insulted　and　a　bit　cross。　By　dinner　she　was　in　such　a　temper　over　your　rudeness　she　could　scarcely　eat。　Since　then；　she's　decided　to　believe　the　rumors　about　how　sick　you've　been。　She's　sure　that　you've　either　collapsed　somewhere；　or　that　Burrich　has　kept　you　down　in　the　stables　cleaning　up　after　horses　and　dogs　despite　your　health。　Now；　here　we　are；　in　you　go；　I　have　him；　my　lady。〃　And　she　whisked　me　into　Patience's　chambers。
　　　　　　　Lacey's　chatter　had　an　odd　undertone　to　it；　as　if　she　avoided　something。　I　entered　hesitantly；　wondering　if　Patience　herself　had　been　ill　or　if　some　misfortune　had　befallen　her。　If　either　were　so；　then　it　hadn't　affected　her　living　habits　at　all。　Her　chambers　were　much　as　they　always　were。　All　her　greenery　had　grown　and　twined　and　dropped　leaves。　A　new　layer　of　sudden　interests　overlay　all　the　discarded　ones　in　the　room。　Two　doves　had　been　added　to　her　menagerie。　A　dozen　or　so　horseshoes　were　scattered　about　the　room。　A　fat　bayberry　candle　burned　on　the　table；　giving　off　a　pleasant　scent；　but　dripping　wax　onto　some　dried　flowers　and　herbs　on　a　tray　beside　it。　Some　oddly　carved　little　sticks　in　a　bundle　were　also　threatened。　They　appeared　to　be　fortune…telling　sticks　such　as　the　Chyurda　used。　As　I　entered；　her　tough　little　terrier　bitch　came　up　to　greet　me。　I　stooped　to　pat　her；　then　wondered　if　I　could　stand　again。　To　cover　my　delay；　I　carefully　picked　up　a　tablet　from　the　floor。　It　was　a　rather　old　one；　and　probably　rare；　on　the　use　of　the　fortune…telling　sticks。　Patience　turned　away　from　her　loom　to　greet　me。
　　　　　　　〃Oh；　get　up　and　stop　being　ridiculous；〃　she　exclaimed　at　seeing　me　crouch。　〃Going　down　on　one　knee　is　idiocy。　Or　did　you　think　it　would　make　me　forget　how　rude　you've　been　in　not　ing　to　see　me　right　away。　What's　that　you've　brought　me？　Oh；　how　thoughtful！　How　did　you　know　I'd　been　studying　them？　You　know；　I've　searched　all　the　castle's　libraries　and　not　found　much　on　the　predicting　sticks　at　all！〃
　　　　　　　She　took　the　tablet　from　my　hand　and　smiled　up　at　me　at　the　supposed　gift。　Over　her　shoulder；　Lacey　winked　at　me。　I　gave　a　minuscule　shrug　in　return。　I　glanced　back　at　Lady　Patience；　who　set　the　tablet　atop　a　teetering　stack　of　tablets。　She　turned　back　to　me。　For　a　moment　she　regarded　me　warmly；　then　she　called　up　a　frown　to　her　face。　Her　brows　gathered　over　her　hazel　eyes；　while　her　small　straight　mouth　held　a　firm　line。　The　effect　of　her　reproving　look　was　rather　spoiled　by　the　fact　that　she　came　just　to　my　shoulder　now；　and　that　she　had　two　ivy　leaves　stuck　in　her　hair。　〃Excuse　me；〃　I　said；　and　boldly　plucked　them　from　the　unruly　dark　curls。　She　took　them　from　my　hand　seriously；　as　if　they　were　important；　and　set　them　atop　the　tablet。
　　　　　　　〃Where　have　you　been；　all　these　months；　when　you　were　needed　here？〃　she　demanded。　〃Your　uncle's　bride　arrived　months　ago。　You've　missed　the　formal　wedding；　you've　missed　the　feasting　and　the　dancing　and　the　gathering　of　the　nobles。　Here　I　am；　expending　all　my　energies　to　see　that　you　are　treated　as　the　son　of　a　Prince；　and　there　you　are；　avoiding　all　your　social　obligations。　And　when　you　do　get　home；　you　don't　e　to　see　me；　but　go　all　about　the　Keep　where　anyone　else　might　talk　to　you；　dressed　like　a　ragged　tinker。　Whatever　possessed　you　to　cut　your　hair　like　that？〃　My　father's　wife；　once　horrified　to　discover　that　he　had　sired　a　bastard　before　they　were　wed；　had　gone　from　abhorring　me　to　aggressively　bettering　me。　Sometimes　that　was　more　difficult　to　deal　with　than　if　she　had　ostracized　me。　Now　she　demanded；　〃Had　you　no　thought　that　you　might　have　social　duties　here　that　were　more　important　than　gallivanting　about　with　Burrich　looking　at　horses？〃
　　　　　　　〃I　am　sorry；　my　lady。〃　Experience　had　taught　me　never　to　argue　with　Patience。　Her　eccentricity　had　delighted　Prince　Chivalry。　It　drove　me　to　distraction　on　a　good　day。　Tonight　I　felt　overwhelmed　by　it。　〃For　a　time　I　was　ill。　I　did　not　feel　well　enough　to　travel。　By　the　time　I　recovered；　the　weather　delayed　us。　I　am　sorry　to　have　missed　the　wedding。〃
　　　　　　　〃And　that　was　all？　That　was　the　sole　reason　for　your　delay？〃　She　spoke　sharply；　as　if　suspecting　some　heinous　deception。
　　　　　　　〃It　was；〃　I　answered　gravely。　〃But　I　did　think　of　you。　I　have　something　for　you；　out　in　my　packs。　I　haven't　brought