dk.coldfire-第68节
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m to be。
After a long pause； he had said； Maybe。
And after her own long pause； she had said； I guess I don 't care。
He was sure； now； that he had been warning her。 A small voice within told him that she was right in her analysis； that the entities at the mill had only been different aspects of him。 But if he was a victim of multiple personality syndrome； he did not believe that his condition could be casually described as a mere mental disturbance or a troubled state of mind； as she had tried to portray it。 Madness was the only word that did it justice。
They entered Main Street。 The town looked strangely dark and threatening…perhaps because it held the truth that would force him to step off his narrow mental perch into one world of chaos or another。
He remembered reading somewhere that only mad people were dead certain of their sanity。 He was dead…certain of nothing； but he took no fort from that。 Madness was； he suspected； the very essence of uncertainty ； a frantic but fruitless search for answers； for solid ground。
Sanity was that place of certainty above the whirling chaos。
Holly pulled to the curb in front of Handahl's Pharmacy at the east end of Main Street。 〃Let's start here。〃
first 〃Why？〃 〃Because it's the first stop we made when you were pointing out places that had meant something to you as a kid。〃
He stepped out of the Ford under the canopy of a Wilson magnolia； one of several interspersed with other trees along both sides of the street。
That landscaping softened the hard edges but contributed to the unnatural look and discordant feeling of the town。
When Holly pushed open the front door of the Danish…style building； its two glass panes glimmered like jewels along their beveled edges； and a bell had tinkled overhead。 They went inside together。
but Jim's heart was hammering。 Not because the pharmacy seemed likely to actually be a place where anything significant had happened to him in his children hood； but because he sensed it was the first step on a path to the truth。
The cafe and soda fountain were to the left； and through the archway Jim saw a few people at breakfast。 Immediately inside the door was the small newsstand； where morning papers were stacked high； mostly the Santa Barbara daily； there were also magazines； and to one side a revolving wire rack filled with paperback books。
〃I used to buy paperbacks here；〃 he said。 〃I loved books even back then couldn't get enough of them。〃
The pharmacy was through another archway to the right。 It resembled any modern American pharmacy in that it stocked more cosmetics； beauty aids； and hair…care products than patent medicines。
Otherwise； it was pleasantly quaint： wood shelves instead of metal or fiberboard； polished granite counters； an appealing aroma posed of Bayberry candles； nickle candy； cigar…tobacco efiluvium filtering from the humidified case in behind the cash register； faint traces of ethyl alcohol； and sundry pharmaceuticals。
Though the hour was early； the pharmacist was on duty； serving as his own checkout clerk。 It was Corbett Handahl himself； a heavy wide…shouldered； man with a white mustache and white hair； wearing a crisp blue starched。 shirt under his starched white lab jacket。
He looked up and said； 〃Jim Ironheart； bless my soul。 How long's it been…at least three； four years？〃 They shook hands。
dead… 〃Four years and four months；〃 Jim said。 He almost added； since grandpa died； but checked himself without quite knowing why。
Spritzing the granite prescription…service counter with Windex； Corbett Handahl wiped it with paper towels。 He smiled at Holly。
〃And whoever you are； I am eternally grateful to you for bringing beauty into this gray morning。〃
Corbett was the perfect smalltown pharmacist： just jovial enough to seem like ordinary folks in spite of being placed in the town's upper social class by virtue of his occupation； enough of a tease to be something of a local character； but with an unmistakable air of petence and probity that made you feel the medicines he pounded would always be safe。
Townfolk stopped in just to say hello； not only when they needed something； and his genuine interest in people served his merce。 He had been working at the pharmacy for thirty…three years and had been the owner since his father's death twenty…seven years ago。
Handahl was the least threatening of men； yet Jim suddenly felt threatened by him。 He wanted to get out of the pharmacy before。 。 。
Before what？ Before Handahl said the wrong thing； revealed too much。
But what could he reveal？ 〃I'm Jim's fiancee；〃 Holly said； somewhat to Jim's surprise。
〃Congratulations； Jim；〃 Handahl said。 〃You're a lucky man。 Young lady； I just hope you know； the family changed its name from Ironhead； which was more descriptive。 Stubborn group。〃 He winked and laughed。
Holly said； 〃Jim's taking me around town； showing me favorite places Sentimental journey； I suppose you'd call it。〃
Frowning at Jim； Handahl said； 〃Didn't think you ever liked this town well enough to feel sentimental about it。〃
Jim shrugged。 〃Attitudes change。〃
〃Glad to hear it。〃 Handahl turned to Holly again。 〃He started ing in here soon after he moved in with his grandfolks； every Tuesday and Friday when new books and magazines arrived from the distributor in Santa Barbara。〃 He had put aside the Windex。 He was arranging counter displays of chewing gum； breath mints； disposable lighters； and pocket bs。 〃Jim was a real reader then。 You still a real reader？〃 〃Still am；〃 Jim said with growing uneasiness； terrified of what Handahl might say next。 Yet for the life of him； he did not know what the man could say that would matter so much。
〃Your tastes were kinda narrow； I remember。〃 To Holly： 〃Used to spend his allowance buying most every science fiction or spook…'em paperback that came in the door。 Course； in those days； a two…dollar…a…week allowance went pretty far； if you remember that a book was about forty…five or fifty cents。〃
Claustrophobia settled over Jim； thick as a heavy shroud。 The pharmacy began to seem frighteningly small； crowded with merchandise； and he wanted to get out of there。
It's ing； he thought； with a sudden quickening of anxiety。 It's ing。
Handahl said； 〃I suppose maybe he got his interest in weird fiction from his mom and dad。〃
Frowning； Holly said； 〃How's that？〃 〃I didn't know Jamie； Jim's dad； all that well； but I was only one year behind him at county high school。 No offense； Jim； but your dad had some exotic interests…though the way the world's changed； they probably wouldn't seem as exotic now as back in the early fifties。〃
〃Exotic interests？〃 Holly prodded。
Jim looked around the pharmacy； wondering where it would e from； which route of escape might be blocked and which might remain open。 He was swinging between tentative acceptance of Holly's theory and rejection of it； and right now； he was sure she had to be wrong。 It wasn't a force inside him。 It was entirely a separate being； just as The Friend was。 It was an evil alien； just as The Friend was good； and it could go anywhere； e out of anything； at any second； and it was ing； he knew it was ing； it wanted to kill them all。
〃Well；〃 Handahl said； 〃when he was a kid； Jamie used to e in here …it was my dad's store then…and buy those old pulp magazines with robots； monsters； and scanty…clad women on the covers。 He used to talk a lot about how we'd put men on the moon someday； and everyone thought he was a little strange for that； but I guess he was right after all。
Didn't surprise me when I heard he'd given up being an accountant； found a showhiz wife； and was making his living doing a mentalist act。〃
〃Mentalist act？〃 Holly said； glancing at Jim。 〃I thought your dad was an accountant； your mom was an actress。〃
〃They were；〃 he said thinly。 〃That's what they were…before they put together the act。〃
He had almost forgotten about the act； which surprised him。 How could he have forgotten the act？ He had all the photographs from the tours； so many of them on his walls； he looked at them everyday； yet he'd pretty much forgotten that they had been taken during travels between performances。
It was ing very fast now。
Close。 It was very close。
He wanted to warn Holly。 He couldn't speak。
Something seemed to have stolen his tongue； locked his jaws。
It was ing。
It didn't want him to warn her。 It wanted to take her by surprise。
Arranging the last of the counter displays； Handahl said； 〃It was a tragedy； what happened to them； all right。 Jim； when you first came to town to stay with your grandfolks； you were so withdrawn； nobody could get two words out of you。〃
Holly was watching Jim rather than Handahl。
She seemed to sense that he was in grave distress。
〃Second year； after Lena died；〃 Handahl said； 〃Jim pretty much clammed up altogether； totally mute； like he was never going to talk another word as long as he lived。 You remember that； Jim？〃 In astonishment； Holly turned to Jim and said； 〃Your grandmother died the second year you were here； when you were only eleven？〃 I told her five years ago； Jim thought。 Why did I tell her five years ago when the truth is twenty…four？ It w
