cb.imajica1-第89节
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ack at her as he toppled from the circle。 She reached to haul him back； despite the searing pain her motion brought； and took hold of an arm； determined that wherever they were delivered； to Yzordderrex or death； they'd go there together。 He returned her grasp； seizing her outstretched arms and dragging himself back onto the Express。 As his face emerged from the blur beyond the smile she realized her error。 It was Dowd she'd hauled aboard。
She let go of her hold； in revulsion more than rage。 His face was horribly contorted； blood streaming from eyes； ears； and nose。 But the mind of passage was already working on this fresh text； preparing to translate and transport it。 She had no way of braking the process； and to leave the circle now would be certain suicide。 Beyond it； the scene was blurred and darkening； but she caught sight of Oscar； rising from the ground； and thanked whatever deities protected these circles that he was at least alive。 He was moving towards the circle again； she saw； as though to dare its flux a second time； but it seemed he judged the train to be moving too swiftly now； because he retreated； arms up over his face。 Seconds later the whole scene disappeared； the sunlight at the threshold burning on for a heartbeat longer than the rest； then that too folding away into obscurity。
The only sight left to her now was the matrix of lines which were the translator's rendering of her fellow traveler； and though she despised him beyond words she kept her eyes fixed upon them； having no other point of reference。 All bodily sensation had disappeared。 She didn't know if she was floating； falling； or even breathing； though she suspected she was doing none of these things。 She had bee a sign； transmitted between Dominions； encoded in the mind of passage。 The sight before her…Dowd's shimmering glyph…was not secured by sight but by thought； which was the only currency valid on this trip。 And now； as if her powers to purchase were increasing with familiarity； the absence around her began to gain detail。 The In Ovo； Oscar had called this place。 Its darkness swelled in a million places； their skins stretching until they gleamed and split； glutinous forms breaking out and in their turn swelling and splitting； like fruit whose seeds were sown inside each other and nourished to corruption by their predecessors' decay。 Repulsive as this was； there was worse to e； as new entities appeared； these no more than scraps from a cannibal's table； sucked bloodless and gnawed： idiot doodles of life that didn't bear translation into any material form。 Primitive though they were； they sensed the presence of finished life forms in their midst and rose towards the travelers like the damned to passing angels。 But they swarmed too late。 The visitors moved on and away； the darknesses sealing up their tenants and receding。
Jude could see Dowd's body in the midst of his glyph； still insubstantial but brightening by the moment。 With the sight； the agonies of ferriage returned； though not as sharply as those that had pained her at the outset of the journey。 She was glad to have them if they proved her nerves were hers again； surely it meant the journey was almost over。 The horrors of the In Ovo had almost disappeared entirely when she felt the faint heat on her face。 But the scent this heat raised to her nostrils brought more certain proof that the city was near： a mingling of the sweets and sours she'd first smelled on the wind that had issued from the Retreat months before。
She saw a smile e over Dowd's face； cracking the blood already dried on it： a smile which became a laugh in a beat or two； ringing off the walls of the merchant Pecca…ble's cellar as it grew solid around them。 She didn't want to share his pleasure； after all the harms he'd devised； but she couldn't help herself。 Relief that the journey hadn't killed her； and sheer exhilaration that after all this time she was here； brought laughter onto her face and； with every breath between； the air of the Second Dominion into her lungs。
31
Five miles up the mountainside from the house in which Jude and Dowd were taking their first gasps of Yzordder…rexian air； the Autarch of the Reconciled Dominions sat in one of his watchtowers and surveyed the city he had inspired to such notorious excess。 It was three days since his return from the Kwem Palace； and almost every hour somebody…it was usually Rosengarten…had brought news of further acts of civil defiance； some in regions of the Imajica so remote that word of the mutinies had been weeks in ing； some…these more disturbing…barely beyond the palace walls。 As he mused he chewed on kreau…chee； a drug to which he'd been addicted for some seventy years。 Its side effects were severe and unpredictable for those unused to it。 Periods of lethargy alternated with bouts of priapism and psychotic hallucination。 Sometimes the fingers and toes swelled to grotesque proportions。 But the Autarch's system had been steeped in kreauchee for so many years the drug no longer assaulted either his physique or his faculties； and he could enjoy its capacity to lift him from dolor without having to endure its disforts。
Or at least such had been the case until recently。 Now； as if in league with the forces that were destroying his dream below； the drug refused to give him relief。 He'd demanded a fresh supply while meditating at the place of the Pivot； only to get back to Yzordderrex to find that his procurers in the Scoriae Kesparate had been murdered。 Their killers were reputedly members of the Dearth； an order of renegade shammists…worshipers of the Madonna； he'd heard it rumored…who'd been fulmigating revolution for years and had until now presented so little threat to the status quo that he'd let them be for entertainment's sake。 Their pamphlets…a mingling of castration fantasies and bad theology…had made farcical reading； and with their leader Athanasius in prison many of them had retreated to the desert to worship at the margins of the First Dominion； the so…called Erasure； where the solid reality of the Second paled and faded。 But Athanasius had escaped his custody and returned to Yzordderrex with fresh calls to arms。 His first act of defiance； it seemed； had been the slaughter of the kreauchee pushers。 A small deed； but the man was wily enough to know what an inconvenience he'd caused with it。 No doubt he was touting it as an act of civil healing； performed in the name of the Madonna。
The Autarch spat out the wad of kreauchee he was chewing and vacated the watchtower； heading off through the monumental labyrinth of the palace towards Quaisoir's quarters in the hope that she had some small supply he could filch。 To left and right of him were corridors so immense no human voice would carry along them； each lined than ever。 And if she told him all she knew； pleasurable as that unburdening would be； could she be absolutely certain that he wouldn't cleave to his history； at the last； and use what he knew against her？ What would Clara's death and Celestine's suffering have been worth then？ She was now their only agent in the living world； and she had no right to gamble with their sacrifices。
〃What have you done；〃 Oscar said； 〃besides plot？ What
have you done？〃
〃You haven't been honest with me；〃 she replied。 〃Why
should I tell you anything？〃
〃Because I can still take you to Yzordderrex；〃 he said。
〃Bribes now？〃
〃Don't you want to go any longer？〃
〃I want to know the truth about myself more。〃
He looked faintly saddened by this。 〃Ah。〃 He sighed。
〃I've been lying for so long I'm not sure I'd know the truth
if 1 tripped over it。 Except。。；〃
〃Yes？〃
〃What we felt for each other；〃 he murmured； 〃at least；
what I feel for you 。 。 。 that was true； wasn't it？〃
〃It can't be much；〃 Jude said。 〃You locked me away。
You left me to Dowd…〃 〃I've already explained…〃 〃Yes； you were distracted。 You had other business。 So
you forgot me。〃
〃No；〃 he protested； 〃I never forgot。 Never； I swear。〃
〃What then？〃 〃I was afraid。〃
〃Of me？〃
〃Of everything。 You； Dowd； the Society。 I started to see plots everywhere。 Suddenly the idea of your being in my bed seemed too much of a risk。 I was afraid you'd smother
me； or…〃
〃That's ridiculous。〃
〃Is it？ How can I be sure who you belong to？〃
〃I belong to myself。〃
He shook his head； his gaze going from her face up to the painting of Joshua Godolphin that hung above the bed。
〃How can you know that？〃 he said。 〃How can you be certain that what you feel for me es from your heart？〃
〃What does it matter where it es from？ It's there。 Look at me。〃
He refused her demand； his eyes still fixed on the Mad Lord。
〃He's dead；〃 she said。
〃But his legacy…〃
〃Fuck his legacy！〃 she said； and suddenly got to her feet； taking hold of the portrait by its heavy； gilded frame and wrenching it from the wall。
Oscar rose to protest； but her vehemence carried the day。 The picture came from its hooks with a single pull； and she summarily pitched it across the room。 Then she dropped back onto the bed in front of Oscar。
〃He's dead and gone；〃 she said。 〃He can't judge us。 He can't control us。 Whatever it is we feel for each other…and I don't pretend to know what it is…it's our
