cb.imajica1-第76节

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　〃Because　I　don't　want　to　dream　you；〃　he　said。　〃I　came　on　this　journey　to　understand。　How　can　I　understand　anything　if　all　I　look　at　is　illusions？〃
　〃Maybe　that's　all　there　is。〃
　〃That　isn't　true；〃　he　said　simply。
　〃Tomorrow；　then；〃　Pie　said；　temptingly。　〃Look　plainly　tomorrow。　Just　enjoy　yourself　tonight。　I'm　not　the　reason　we're　in　the　Imajica。　I'm　not　the　puzzle　you　came　to　solve。〃
　〃On　the　contrary；〃　Gentle　said；　a　smile　creeping　into　his　voice。　〃I　think　maybe　you　are　the　reason。　And　the　puzzle。　I　think　if　we　stayed　here；　locked　up　together；　we　could　heal　the　Imajica　from　what's　between　us。〃　The　smile　appeared　on　his　face　now。　〃I　never　realized　that　till　now。　That's　why　I　want　to　see　you　clearly；　Pie；　so　there're　no　lies　between　us。〃　He　put　his　hand　against　the　mystif　s　sex。　〃You　could　fuck　or　be　fucked　with　this；　right？〃
　〃Yes。〃
　〃And　you　could　give　birth？〃
　〃I　haven't。　But　it's　been　known。〃
　〃And　fertilize？〃
　〃Yes。〃
　〃That's　wonderful。　And　is　there　something　else　you　can　do？〃
　〃Like　what？〃
　〃It　isn't　all　doer　or　done　to；　is　it？　I　know　it　isn't。　There's　something　else。〃
　〃Yes；　there　is。〃
　〃A　third　way。〃
　〃Yes。〃
　〃Do　it　with　me；　then。〃
　〃I　can't。　You're　male；　Gentle。　You're　a　fixed　sex。　It's　a　physical　fact。〃　The　mystif　put　its　hand　on　Gentle's　prick；　still　soft　in　his　trousers。　〃I　can't　take　this　away。　You　wouldn't　want　me　to。〃　It　frowned。　〃Would　you？〃
　〃I　don't　know。　Maybe。〃
　〃You　don't　mean　that。〃
　〃If　it　meant　finding　a　way；　maybe　I　do。　I've　used　my　dick　every　way　I　know　how。　Maybe　it's　redundant。〃
　Now　it　was　Pie's　turn　to　smile；　but　such　a　fragile　smile；　as　though　the　unease　Gentle　had　felt　now　burdened　the　mys…tif　instead。　It　narrowed　its　shining　eyes。
　〃What　are　you　thinking？〃　Gentle　said。
　〃How　you　make　me　a　little　afraid。〃
　〃Of　what？〃
　〃Of　the　pain　ahead。　Of　losing　you。〃
　〃You're　not　going　to　lose　me；〃　Gentle　said；　putting　his　hand　around　the　back　of　Pie's　neck　and　stroking　the　nape　with　his　thumb。　〃I　told　you；　we　could　heal　the　Imajica　from　here。　We're　strong；　Pie。〃
　The　anxiety　didn't　go　from　the　mystif　s　face；　so　Gentle　coaxed　its　face　towards　his　and　kissed　it；　first　discreetly；　then　with　an　ardor　it　seemed　reluctant　to　match。　Only　moments　before；　sitting　on　the　bed；　he'd　been　the　tentative　one。　Now　it　was　the　other　way　around。　He　put　his　hand　down　to　its　groin；　hoping　to　distract　it　from　its　sadness　with　caresses。　The　flesh　came　to　meet　his　fingers；　warm　and　fluted；　trickling　into　the　shallow　cup　of　his　palm　a　moisture　his　skin　drank　like　liquor。　He　pressed　deeper；　feeling　the　elaboration　grow　at　his　touch。　There　was　no　hesitation　here；　no　shame　or　sorrow　in　this　flesh；　to　keep　it　from　displaying　its　need；　and　need　had　never　failed　to　arouse　him。　Seeing　it　on　a　woman's　face　was　a　sure　aphrodisiac；　and　it　was　no　less　so　now。
　He　reached　up　from　this　play　to　his　belt；　unbuckling　it　with　one　hand。　But　before　he　could　take　hold　of　his　prick；　which　was　being　painfully　hard；　the　mystif　did　so；　guiding　him　inside　it　with　an　urgency　its　face　still　failed　to　betray。　The　bath　of　its　sex　soothed　his　ache；　immersing　him　balls　and　all。　He　let　out　a　long　sigh　of　pleasure；　his　nerve　endings…starved　of　this　sensation　for　months…rioting。　The　mystif　had　closed　its　eyes；　its　mouth　open。　He　put　his　tongue　hard　between　its　lips；　and　it　responded　with　a　passion　he　had　never　seen　it　manifest　before。　Its　hands　wrapped　around　his　shoulders；　and　in　possession　of　them　both　it　fell　back　against　the　wall；　so　hard　the　breath　went　from　it　into　Gentle's　throat。　He　drew　it　down　into　his　lungs；　inciting　a　hunger　for　more；　which　the　mystif　understood　without　need　of　words；　inhaling　from　the　heated　air　between　them　and　filling　Gentle's　chest　as　though　he　were　a　just…drowned　man　being　pumped　back　to　life。　He　answered　its　gift　with　thrusts；　its　fluids　running　freely　down　the　inside　of　his　thighs。　It　gave　him　another　breath；　and　another。　He　drank　them　all；　eating　the　pleasure　off　its　face　in　the　moments　between；　the　breath　received　as　his　prick　was　given。　In　this　exchange　they　were　both　entered　and　enterer：　a　hint；　perhaps；　of　the　third　way　Pie　had　spoken　of；　the　coupling　between　unfixed　forces　that　could　not　occur　until　his　manhood　had　been　taken　from　him。　Now；　as　he　worked　his　prick　against　the　warmth　of　the　mystif's　sex；　the　thought　of　relinquishing　it　in　pursuit　of　another　sensation　seemed　ludicrous。　There　could　be　nothing　better　than　this；　only　different。
　He　closed　his　eyes；　no　longer　afraid　that　his　imagination　would　put　a　memory；　or　some　invented　perfection；　in　Pie's　place；　only　that　if　he　looked　at　the　mystif's　bliss　too　much　longer　he'd　lose　all　control。　What　his　mind's　eye　pictured；　however；　was　more　potent　still：　the　image　of　them　locked　together　as　they　were；　inside　each　other；　breath　and　prick　swelling　inside　each　other's　skins　until　they　could　swell　no　further。　He　wanted　to　warn　the　mystif　that　he　could　hold　on　no　longer；　but　it　seemed　to　have　that　news　already。　It　grasped　his　hair；　pulling　him　off　its　face；　the　sting　of　it　just　another　spur　now；　and　the　sobs　too；　ing　out　of　them　both。　He　let　his　eyes　open；　wanting　to　see　its　face　as　he　came；　and　in　the　time　it　took　for　his　lashes　to　unknit；　the　beauty　in　front　of　him　became　a　mirror。　It　was　his　face　he　was　seeing；　his　body　he　was　holding。　The　illusion　didn't　cool　him。　Quite　the　reverse。　Before　the　mirror　softened　into　flesh；　its　glass　being　the　sweat　on　Pie's　sweet　face；　he　passed　the　point　of　no　return；　and　it　was　with　that　image　in　his　eye…his　face　mingled　with　the　mystif　s…that　his　body　unleashed　its　little　torrent。　It　was；　as　ever；　exquisite　and　racking；　a　short　delirium　followed　by　a　sense　of　loss　he'd　never　made　peace　with。
　The　mystif　began　to　laugh　almost　before　he　was　finished；　and　when　Gentle　drew　his　first　clear　breath　it　was　to　ask；　〃What's　so　funny？〃
　〃The　silence；〃　Pie　said；　suppressing　the　music　so　that　Gentle　could　share　the　joke。
　He'd　lain　here　in　this　cell　hour　after　hour；　unable　to　make　a　moan；　but　he'd　never　heard　a　silence　such　as　this。　The　whole　asylum　was　listening；　from　the　depths　where　Father　Athanasius　wove　his　piercing　crowns　to　N'ashap's　office；　its　carpet　indelibly　marked　with　the　blood　his　nose　had　shed。　There　was　not　a　waking　soul　who'd　not　heard　their　coupling。
　〃Such　a　silence；〃　the　mystif　said。
　As　it　spoke；　the　hush　was　broken　by　the　sound　of　someone　yelling　in　his　cell；　a　rage　of　loss　and　loneliness　that　went　on　unchecked　for　the　rest　of　the　night；　as　if　to　cleanse　the　gray　stone　of　the　joy　that　had　momentarily　tainted　it。
　
　
　27
　
　If　pressed；　Jude　could　have　named　a　dozen　men…lovers；　suitors；　slaves…who'd　offered　her　any　prize　she　set　her　heart　on　in　return　for　her　affections。　She'd　taken　several　up　on　their　largesse。　But　her　requests；　extravagant　as　some　of　them　had　been；　were　as　nothing　beside　the　gift　she'd　asked　of　Oscar　Godolpnin。　Show　me　Yzordderrex；　she'd　said；　and　watched　his　face　fill　with　trepidation。　He'd　not　refused　her　out　of　hand。　To　have　done　so　would　have　crushed　in　a　moment　the　affection　growing　between　them；　and　he　would　never　have　forgiven　himself　that　loss。　He　listened　to　her　request；　then　made　no　further　mention　of　it；　hoping；　no　doubt；　she'd　let　the　subject　lie。
　She　didn't；　however。　The　blossoming　of　a　physical　relationship　between　them　had　cured　her　of　the　strange　passivity　that　had　afflicted　her　when　they'd　first　met。　She　had　knowledge　of　his　vulnerability　now。　She'd　seen　him　wounded。　She'd　seen　him　ashamed　of　his　lack　of　self…control。　She'd　seen　him　in　the　act　of　love；　tender　and　sweetly　perverse。　Though　her　feelings　for　him　remained　strong；　this　new　perspective　removed　the　veil　of　unthinking　acceptance　from　her　eyes。　Now；　when　she　saw　the　desire　he　felt　for　her…and　he　several　times　displayed　that　desire　in　the　days　following　their　consummation…it　was　the　old　Judith；　self…reh'ant　and　fearless；　who　watched　from　behind　her　smiles；　watched　and　waited；　knowing　that　his　devotion　empowered　her　more　by　the　day。　The　tension　between　these　two　selves…the　remnants　of　the　pliant　mistress　his　presence　had　first　conjured　and　the　willful；　focused　woman　she'd　been　（and　now　was　again）…scourged　the　last　dregs　of　dreaminess　from　her　system；　and　her　appetite　for　Dominion…hopping　returned　with　fresh　intensity。　She　didn't　shrink　from　reminding　him　of　his　promise　to　her　as　the　days　went　by；　but　on　the　first　two　occasions　he　made　some　polite　but　spurious　excuse　so　as　to　avoid　talking　further　about　it。
　On　the　third　occasion　her　insistence　won　her　a　sigh；　and　eyes　cast　to　heaven。
　〃Why　is　this　so　important　to　you？〃　he　asked。　〃Yzordderrex　is　an　overpopulated　cesspit。　I　don't　know　a　decent　man　or　woman　there　who　wouldn't　prefer　to　be　here　in　England。〃
　〃A　week　ago　you　were　talking　about　disappearing　there　forever。　But　you　couldn't　you　said；　because　you'd　miss　the　cricket。〃
　〃You've　got　a　good　memory。〃
　〃I　hang　on　your　every　word；〃　she　said；　not　without　a　certain　sourness。
　〃Well；　the　situation's　changed。　There's　most　likely　going　to　be　revolution。　If　we　went　now；　we'd　probably　be　executed　on　sight。〃
　〃You've　e　and　gone　often　enough　in　the　past；〃　she
　pointed　out。　〃So　have　hundreds　of　others；　haven't　they？
　You're　not　the　only　one。　That's　what　magic　is　for：