cb.imajica1-第53节

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　of　him　with　a　shock　of　recognition；　as　though　he　was　some　long　lost　rade。　She　might　have　thought　herself　crazy；　except　that　what　she　felt　was　echoed　on　his　face。　He　looked　at　her　with　narrowed　eyes；　turning　his　head　a　little　to　the　side。
　〃You're　Judith？〃
　〃Yes。　Who　are　you？〃
　〃Oscar　Godolphin。〃
　She　let　her　shallow　breaths　go；　in　favor　of　a　deeper　draft。
　〃Oh　。　。　。　thank　God；'1　she　said。　〃You　startled　me。　I　thought　。　。　。　I　don't　know　what　I　thought。　Did　the　dog　try　and　attack　you？〃
　〃Forget　the　dog；〃　he　said；　stepping　into　the　chapel。　〃Have　we　met　before？〃
　〃I　don't　believe　so；〃　she　said。　〃Where's　Charlie？　Is　he　all　right？〃
　Godolphin　continued　to　approach　her；　his　step　steady。　〃This　confuses　things；〃　he　said。
　〃What　does？〃
　〃Me　。　。　。　knowing　you。　You　being　whoever　you　are。　It　confuses　things。〃
　〃I　don't　see　why；〃　she　said。　〃I'd　wanted　to　meet　you；　and　I　asked　Charlie　several　times　if　he'd　introduce　us；　but　he　always　seemed　reluctant。　。　。　。〃　She　kept　chattering；　as　much　to　defend　herself　from　his　appraisal　as　for　munication's　sake。　She　felt　if　she　fell　silent　she'd　forget　herself　utterly；　bee　his　object。　〃I'm　very　pleased　we　finally　get　to　talk。〃
　He　was　close　enough　to　touch　her　now。　She　put　out　her　hand　to　shake　his。
　〃It　really　is　a　pleasure；〃　she　said。
　Outside；　the　dog　began　barking　again；　and　this　time　its　din　was　followed　by　a　shout。
　〃Oh；　God；　he's　bitten　somebody；〃　Jude　said；　and　started　towards　the　door。
　Oscar　took　hold　of　her　arm；　and　the　contact；　light　but　proprietorial；　checked　her。　She　looked　back　towards　him；　and　all　the　laughable　cliches　of　romantic　fiction　were　suddenly　real　and　deadly　serious。　Her　heart　was　beating　in　her　throat；　her　cheeks　were　beacons；　the　ground　seemed　uncertain　beneath　her　feet。　There　was　no　pleasure　in　this；　only　a　sickening　powerlessness　she　could　do　nothing　to　defend　herself　against。　Her　only　fort…and　it　was　small…was　the　fact　that　her　partner　in　this　dance　of　desire　seemed　almost　as　distressed　by　their　mutual　fixation　as　she。
　The　dog's　din　was　abruptly　cut　short；　and　she　heard　Charlie　yell　her　name。　Oscar's　glance　went　to　the　door；　and　hers　went　with　it；　to　see　Estabrook；　armed　with　a　cudgel　of　wood；　gasping　at　the　threshold。　Behind　him；　an　abomination：　a　half…burned　creature；　its　face　caved　in　（Charlie's　doing；　she　saw；　there　were　scraps　of　its　blackened　flesh　on　the　cudgel）　reaching　blindly　for　him。
　She　cried　out　at　the　sight；　and　he　stepped　aside　as　it　lurched　forward。　It　lost　its　balance　on　the　step　and　fell。　One　hand；　fingers　burned　to　the　bone；　reached　for　the　door…jamb；　but　Charlie　brought　his　weapon　down　on　its　wounded　head。　Skull　shards　flew；　silvery　blood　preceded　its　head　to　the　step；　as　its　hand　missed　its　purchase　and　it　collapsed　on　the　threshold。
　She　heard　Oscar　quietly　moan。
　〃You　fuckhead！〃　Charlie　said。
　He　was　panting　and　sweaty；　but　there　was　a　gleam　of　purpose　in　his　eye　she'd　never　seen　the　like　of。
　〃Let　her　go；〃　he　said。
　She　felt　Oscar's　grip　go　from　her　arm　and　mourned　its　departure。　What　she'd　felt　for　Charlie　had　been　only　a　prophecy　of　what　she　felt　now；　as　if　she'd　loved　him　in　remembrance　of　a　man　she'd　never　met。　And　now　that　she　had；　now　that　she'd　heard　the　true　voice　and　not　its　echo；　Estabrook　seemed　like　a　poor　substitute；　for　all　his　tardy　heroism。
　Where　these　feelings　came　from　she　didn't　know；　but　they　had　the　force　of　instinct；　and　she　would　not　be　gainsaid。　She　stared　at　Oscar。　He　was　overweight；　overdressed；　and　doubtless　overbearing：　not　the　kind　of　individual　she'd　have　sought　out；　given　the　choice。　But　for　some　reason　she　didn't　yet　prehend；　she'd　had　that　choice　denied。　Some　urge　profounder　than　conscious　desire　had　claimed　her　will。　The　fears　she　had　for　Charlie's　safety；　and　indeed　for　her　own；　were　suddenly　remote：　almost　abstractions。
　〃Take　no　notice　of　him；〃　Charlie　said。　〃He's　not　going　to　hurt　you。〃
　She　glanced　his　way。　He　looked　like　a　husk　beside　his　brother；　beset　by　tics　and　tremors。　How　had　she　ever　loved　him？
　〃e　here；〃　he　said；　beckoning　to　her。
　She　didn't　move；　until　Oscar　said；　〃Go　on。〃
　More　out　of　obedience　to　his　instruction　than　any　wish　to　go；　she　started　to　walk　towards　Charlie。
　As　she　did　so　another　shadow　fell　across　the　threshold。　A　severely　dressed　young　man　with　dyed　blond　hair　appeared　at　the　door；　the　lines　of　his　face　perfect　to　the　point　of　banality。
　〃Stay　away；　Dowd；〃　Oscar　said。　〃This　is　just　Charlie　and　me。〃
　Dowd　looked　down　at　the　body　on　the　step；　then　back　at　Oscar；　offering　two　words　of　warning：　〃He's　dangerous。〃
　〃I　know　what　he　is；〃　Oscar　said。　〃Judith；　why　don't　you　step　outside　with　Dowd？〃
　〃Don't　go　near　that　little　fucker；〃　Charlie　told　her。　〃He　killed　Skin。　And　there's　another　of　those　things　out　there。〃
　〃They're　called　voiders；　Charles；〃　Oscar　said。　〃And　they're　not　going　to　harm　a　hair　on　her　beautiful　head。　Judith。　Look　at　me。〃　She　looked　around　at　him。　〃You're　not　in　danger。　You　understand？　Nobody's　going　to　hurt　you。〃
　She　understood　and　believed　him。　Without　looking　back　at　Charlie；　she　went　to　the　door。　The　dog　killer　moved　aside；　offering　her　a　hand　to　help　her　over　the　voider's　corpse；　but　she　ignored　it　and　went　out　into　the　sun　with　a　shameful　lightness　in　her　heart　and　step。　Dowd　followed　her　as　she　walked　from　the　chapel。　She　felt　his　stare。
　〃Judith　。　。　。〃　he　said；　as　if　astonished。
　〃That's　me；〃　she　replied；　knowing　that　to　lay　claim　to　that　identity　was　somehow　momentous。
　Squatting　in　the　humus　a　little　way　from　them　she　saw　the　other　voider。　It　was　idly　perusing　the　body　of　Skin；　running　its　fingers　over　the　dog's　flank。　She　looked　away；　unwilling　to　have　the　strange　joy　she　felt　soured　by　morbidity。
　She　and　Dowd　had　reached　the　edge　of　the　wood；　where　she　had　an　unhindered　view　of　the　sky。　The　sun　was　sinking；　gaining　color　as　it　fell　and　lending　a　new　glamour　to　the　vista　of　park；　terraces；　and　house。
　〃I　feel　as　though　I've　been　here　before；〃　she　said。
　The　thought　was　strangely　soothing。　Like　the　feelings　she　had　towards　Oscar；　it　rose　from　some　place　in　her　she　didn't　remember　owning；　and　identifying　its　source　was　not　for　now　as　important　as　accepting　its　presence。　That　she　did；　gladly。　She'd　spent　so　much　of　her　recent　life　in　the　grip　of　events　that　lay　outside　her　power　to　control；　it　was　a　pleasure　to　touch　a　source　of　feeling　that　was　so　deep；　so　instinctive；　she　didn't　need　to　analyze　its　intentions。　It　was　part　of　her；　and　therefore　good。　Tomorrow；　maybe；　or　the　day　after；　she'd　question　its　significance　more　closely。
　〃Do　you　remember　anything　specific　about　this　place？〃　Dowd　asked　her。
　She　mused　on　this　for　a　time；　then　said；　〃No。　It's　just　a　feeling　of。　。　。　belonging。〃
　〃Then　maybe　it's　better　not　to　remember；〃　came　the　reply。　〃You　know　memory。　It　can　be　very　treacherous。〃
　She　didn't　like　this　man；　but　there　was　merit　in　his　observation。　She　could　barely　remember　ten　years　of　her　own　span；　thinking　back　beyond　that　would　be　near　impossible。　If　the　recollections　came；　in　the　fullness　of　time；　she'd　wele　them。　But　for　now　she　had　a　brimming　cup　of　feelings；　and　perhaps　they　were　all　the　more　attractive　for　their　mystery。
　There　were　raised　voices　from　the　chapel；　though　the　echo　within　and　the　distance　without　made　prehension　impossible。
　〃A　little　sibling　rivalry；〃　Dowd　remarked。　〃How　does　it　feel　being　a　woman　contested　over？〃
　〃There's　no　contest；〃　she　replied。
　〃They　don't　seem　to　think　so；〃　he　said。
　The　voices　were　shouts　now；　rising　to　a　pitch；　then　suddenly　subdued。　One　of　them　went　on　talking…Oscar；　she　thought…interrupted　by　exhortations　from　the　other。　Were　they　bargaining　over　her；　throwing　their　bids　back　and　forth？　She　started　to　think　she　should　intervene。　Go　back　to　the　chapel　and　make　her　allegiance；　irrational　as　it　was；　quite　plain。　Better　to　tell　the　truth　now　than　let　Charlie　bargain　away　his　goods　and　chattels　only　to　discover　the　prize　wasn't　his　to　have。　She　turned　and　began　to　walk　towards　the　chapel。
　〃What　are　you　doing？〃　said　Dowd。
　〃I　have　to　talk　to　them。〃
　〃Mr。　Godolphin　told　you…〃
　〃I　heard　him。　I　have　to　talk　to　them。〃
　Off　to　her　right　she　saw　the　voider　rise　from　its　haunches；　its　eyes　not　on　her　but　on　the　open　door。　It　sniffed　the　air；　then　let　out　a　whistle　as　plaintive　as　a　whine　and　started　toward　the　building　with　a　loping；　almost　bestial；　gait。　It　reached　the　door　before　Jude；　stepping　on　its　dead　brother　in　its　haste　to　be　inside。　As　she　came　within　a　couple　of　yards　of　the　door　she　caught　the　scent　that　had　set　it　whining。　A　breeze…too　warm　for　the　season　and　carrying　perfumes　too　strange　for　this　world…came　to　meet　her　out　of　the　chapel；　and　to　her　horror　she　realized　that　history　was　repeating　itself。　The　train　between　the　Dominions　was　being　boarded　inside；　and　the　wind　she　smelled　was　blowing　along　the　track　from　its　destination。
　〃Oscar！〃　she　yelled；　stumbling　over　the　body　as　she　threw　herself　inside。
　The　travelers　were　already　dispatched。　She　saw　them　passing　from　view　like　Gentle　and　Pie　'oh1　pah；　except　that　the　voider；　desperate　to　go　with　them；　was　pitching　itself　into　the　flux　of　passage。　She　might　have　done　the　same；　but　that　its　error　was　evident。　Caught　in　the　flux；　but　too　late　to　be